Has anyone tried Meetup.com?

[ZipperZapper]

I've heard an organizer having to actually "dismiss" people because they had this stupid. "Don't piss where you eat" policy within their group.

 

Apparently, some women were attending events with no intention of being asked out or 'getting the digits" from and men were warned (sometimes women), further incursions allowed them to be dismissed from the group.

 

I think that's why the human race was wiped out when the floods came, at least the animals knew better to "couple up" prior to the natural disaster and made their way to the ark. LOL

 

I've encountered the same 'no-dating-allowed' edict in a meetup group where single men and women congregated. The event organizer treated hitting on someone as a terrible crime and anyone guilty of it (in her sole opinion) would be unceremoniously ejected from the group. Her rationale was that some women were 'sensitive' about being asked out. Tough noogies, I say. Life is a full contact sport. If you can't handle being asked out, then you shouldn't even be allowed to play out in public.

 

Well, you should have seen the email I sent her basically telling her to grow up and let adults be normal adults. It's a sad day when men aren't allowed to behave, well, like the way men are expected to behave.

 

I can easily see this sort of thing eventually causing a lot of men to simply avoid women altogether - and then where will those poor women get dates or find partners?

[Disillusioned]

Eau Claire is right, a meetup group is easy to start and every question you can possibly think of is answered, if you poke around the dashboard enough.

 

Another thing about meetups is they're almost 100% troll-proof... or at least I've never heard of trolls crashing a meetup just so they could wreck it for everyone else. Apparently trolls don't enjoy getting beaten up any more than the rest of us do.

 

BTW up until a couple of years ago, the LS mods used to dish out spankings to posters who dared to mention meetup groups... who knows? Maybe the mods looked around and finally saw OLD for the cash mill that it is.

[Better]

As a general rule, I don't date women in an activity or interest-based Meetup group in which I am regularly active. If things don't work out, I don't want it to be awkward and for either of us to get less enjoyment out of the group. If I'm going to ask someone out, it's going to be in a social/dating Meetup group where that is expected.

[Emilia]

Ok, you all have me a bit excited to try some of these. I am single, but not necessarily looking to find someone to date. I'm really looking to make new friends to give me things to do. I just need to jump in and try it out.

 

thanks for your input

This is the right way to look at it. Make friends, maybe you'll meet someone new through them, not necessarily in the meetup group itself.

 

You can always ask the organisers about how new members are integrated. Every group is run differently, some better, others not so well. If you don't like one, just move on to the next. They will all attract different kinds of people.

 

Good luck!

[PegNosePete]

So, did you go to these meetings alone not knowing anyone? If so, do people just come up and introduce themselves?

 

Thats the one thing that makes me nervous... Going into a group thing all by myself not knowing a single person.

Yes I went alone and yes it takes a bit of a leap in confidence. I went to a hiking group and it's very easy to start chatting to people, you just say how long have you been in this group, do you do a lot of hiking, then you move onto where are you from, been on any good holidays lately, what other things do you like, etc. Nobody is ever going to refuse a conversation starter because they all like to talk to new people too, that's why they are there.

 

If you do go but don't have the confidence to start any conversations, then at least listen in to other people and learn for next time. Listening to how people start, continue and escalate conversations is definitely time well spent.

 

I used to be pretty rubbish at it but now I've got pretty good. It's all just practice and there's only one way to get that practice. And look at it this way - if you make a complete idiot of yourself you can just ditch that group and join another, where no-one knows you.

[mario_C]

I pretty much schedule my life around MeetUp Even applied for a job there several times (I live near NYC, so why not?) I have met such a rich variety of people that I would never have gotten to meet on my own, for business as well as pleasure. I've asked women out at both singles and non-singles Meetups too. I've seen couples hook up, everything.

All the groups are different; some are very casual, but some have a ton of rules - that always has to do with people who use it for inappropriate behavior or promoting an agenda and such. People who will go to a Philosophy meetup, for example, and try to push a "Truther" agenda. Yeah, there are a lot of shut-ins and misfits who seem to gravitate towards different groups because no one else would ever talk to them. (I hope I'm not like that.)

But as for dating, I have never once had any organizer or moderator stand up and say no one ask anyone else out. The undateables must be more aggressive in other parts of the country or something...

[kart180]

I pretty much schedule my life around MeetUp Even applied for a job there several times (I live near NYC, so why not?) I have met such a rich variety of people that I would never have gotten to meet on my own, for business as well as pleasure. I've asked women out at both singles and non-singles Meetups too. I've seen couples hook up, everything.

All the groups are different; some are very casual, but some have a ton of rules - that always has to do with people who use it for inappropriate behavior or promoting an agenda and such. People who will go to a Philosophy meetup, for example, and try to push a "Truther" agenda. Yeah, there are a lot of shut-ins and misfits who seem to gravitate towards different groups because no one else would ever talk to them. (I hope I'm not like that.)

But as for dating, I have never once had any organizer or moderator stand up and say no one ask anyone else out. The undateables must be more aggressive in other parts of the country or something...

 

I hear such good things about Meetup.com but worried if I go to a event, that no will talk to me or take one look at me and wonder what i'm doing there.

[MixedUpChick]

I hear such good things about Meetup.com but worried if I go to a event, that no will talk to me or take one look at me and wonder what i'm doing there.

 

You don't know, if you don't try. Pick a group that has something coming up that interests you & you'll have a good time, no matter what. Nobody will wonder what you're doing there, you're going for the same reasons as most people: to do something fun & meet new people.

[irc333]

As a general rule, I don't date women in an activity or interest-based Meetup group in which I am regularly active. If things don't work out, I don't want it to be awkward and for either of us to get less enjoyment out of the group. If I'm going to ask someone out, it's going to be in a social/dating Meetup group where that is expected.

 

 

Wait a minute, you're a GUY? I find this strange, it's usually the women that have this, "Don't date within' the same interest-based group" policy.

 

Honestly, you should have this policy in the work place, not at these groups...you're just highly limiting yourself and when people ask you, "So why are you STILL single??"

 

Well, this post is the answer to that question.

[irc333]

In my area we do have "Singles' based Meetups and "Social-based" Meetups, they'd be titled something like Singles Boston Meetup or 20s and 30s Singles Meetup or "Baby Boomers" singles Meetups.

 

Some are just, generally "Social Meetup of Boston" usually any group that is labeled "Social" might as well be "Single" anyhow.

 

Though, now those special interest groups that have certain activities as their focal point like "Trail Hikers of Oregon" or "Outdoor fanatics" or "Movie Meetup"....guess what, I'm pretty much seeing most of the same faces across the board anyhow.

 

What I'm saying is...at least where I live, about 90% or more that join the Meetup groups are unattached.

 

I recall a married friend of mine when she joined any of the groups, when her and her husband showed up, people kinda looked at them like, "What are THEY doing here??"

 

Not in a 'Stuck up' kind of way, they were all very nice to them, but they felt an awkward "something's wrong with this picture" vibe. LOL

 

Anyhow, the organizers here don't have time to "Police" people hitting or "mackin'" on other women...they neither have the time nor energy to do so and could give a rats arse about it, as they had more important things todo in their own lives.

[pickflicker]

Do people under 30 go to meetup groups?

 

Why do you ask?

[SadNLonley]

Another thing about meetups is they're almost 100% troll-proof..

 

Sorry to have to ask this, but what exactly is a TROLL? :/

[ltjg45]

While I am not an introvert, I am very reserved since I have a hard time trusting people. However, once the wall is broken, I can easily be the joker of the party.

 

I went to a wine tasting event and I only saw a fee people that looks like they are single. There was just as many or more attached people than singles.

 

So I stopped and focused on my current job and is looking for a second job.

[irc333]

 

So I stopped and focused on my current job

 

Um, this doesn't make any sense. Isnt' everyone (who isn't a slacker at work) focused on their job the amount of time during the day they punch in until the time they punch out?

 

And after you go home, that's it...there's no job to "focus" on.

 

Kind of like how people are "focused" on their studies while their in college and avoiding dating the entire 4 years they are there. I usually don't believe them when they say this.

[ltjg45]

Um, this doesn't make any sense. Isnt' everyone (who isn't a slacker at work) focused on their job the amount of time during the day they punch in until the time they punch out?

 

And after you go home, that's it...there's no job to "focus" on.

 

Kind of like how people are "focused" on their studies while their in college and avoiding dating the entire 4 years they are there. I usually don't believe them when they say this.

 

Well, what I meant is that the free time I do have is now focuses to getting myself as ready as possible for work (like sleep and the such) instead of wasting time and effort to attend Meetups which is almost a dead end assignment.

 

The only 2 things I got from that one Meetup is that I have no business drinking and that red wine tastes terrible.

[irc333]

I sleep too "n' such", and I have no problem attending events, sorry, I just see it as an excuse. *shrug*

 

Well, what I meant is that the free time I do have is now focuses to getting myself as ready as possible for work (like sleep and the such) instead of wasting time and effort to attend Meetups which is almost a dead end assignment.

 

The only 2 things I got from that one Meetup is that I have no business drinking and that red wine tastes terrible.

[ltjg45]

I sleep too "n' such", and I have no problem attending events, sorry, I just see it as an excuse. *shrug*

 

Perhaps but after that one Meetup, I simply find it to be a waste of time and effort for me.

 

Even with doing no activities, I have a hard time getting enough sleep as it is.

 

So until I find something worth doing (if there is anything) I will be sleeping and working for the entire day.

[Eau Claire]

Yesterday evening we went to a fun Meet up. The group is based on doing something completely different. The activity was singing for people who can't sing. Took place at a church hall. About 40 of us singing classic rock tunes together. What a hoot. People often say they have never laughed so hard...yesterday it was true.

 

An aside. We all got laughing not just because it sounded so bad but also because most of realized we had often been singing the wrong words over the years.

[Better]

Wait a minute, you're a GUY? I find this strange, it's usually the women that have this, "Don't date within' the same interest-based group" policy.

 

Honestly, you should have this policy in the work place, not at these groups...you're just highly limiting yourself and when people ask you, "So why are you STILL single??"

 

Well, this post is the answer to that question.

 

Nice personal attack.

 

The reason I am single has nothing to do with me choosing not to date within interest-based Meetup groups. It has everything to do with me choosing not to date at all for a while since I am focused on other things. I know based on past experience that when I do choose to date again, I won't be single for long.

 

When I go to interest-based meetup groups, I go because I am interested in the topic, want to meet with like-minded people, and to have fun. I'm not there to find a date as I can do that elsewhere or in a social/dating group. I've seen it happen far too many times where two people who enjoyed a group began dating, then broke up, and one or both of them stopped showing up because it was uncomfortable.

[KathyM]

My sister goes to a lot of their events, some for couples that she goes with her husband to, and some with women only that she goes alone to. She really likes them. It's a good way to meet new people. She moved to a new state and didn't really know many people in her new area, so this was a good way to socialize with others. Before she met her husband, she also went to singles Meetup events and thought they were fun. She didn't meet anyone she'd want to date at one of those, but she did think it was a fun way to get to socialize with others.

[Eau Claire]

My sister goes to a lot of their events, some for couples that she goes with her husband to, and some with women only that she goes alone to. She really likes them. It's a good way to meet new people. She moved to a new state and didn't really know many people in her new area, so this was a good way to socialize with others. Before she met her husband, she also went to singles Meetup events and thought they were fun. She didn't meet anyone she'd want to date at one of those, but she did think it was a fun way to get to socialize with others.

 

(Skipping over the misogynist sock puppet. They are so obvious).

 

Yes, our Meet ups have lots of people new to an area. My boyfriend invited a fellow who just moved here over to watch the Superbowl game. There are many new Immigrants among the housekeeping staff at my hospital and Meetup has become their social group outside of work.

[Disillusioned]

There don't seem to be any meetups for romantically-minded asexuals and virgins, which is precisely why I'm going to start one when my home renovation is done this spring.

 

You can laugh at me all you want, but I've met other asexuals at meetups before (not romantic meetups, though), and many of those asexual women were not only pretty, they were also smart and VERY romantically inclined... sort of like what a "ball of fire" would be like if she didn't want anyone else's genitals near hers.

 

BTW asexuality groups are an exception to the rule, because the men who show up tend to be outnumbered 4:1 by the women.

 

I pity those of you who need your sex fix.

[mario_C]

While I am not an introvert, I am very reserved since I have a hard time trusting people. However, once the wall is broken, I can easily be the joker of the party.

 

I went to a wine tasting event and I only saw a fee people that looks like they are single. There was just as many or more attached people than singles.

 

So I stopped and focused on my current job and is looking for a second job.

Just talk to anyone inviting. The beauty of these groups is that people are OK with you joining them, unlike, say, at a bar.

I am in the uncomfortable position of hoping the last item is because you're broke, and not because your social anxiety is so bad that you'd rather work all day and night than have a social life. Ever see the movie "Fight Club"?

I hear such good things about Meetup.com but worried if I go to a event, that no will talk to me or take one look at me and wonder what i'm doing there.

That has happened zero times in my experience. The only time that happened is the Truther guy at the Philosophy Meetup who nearly started a fight. Don't do something weird like that, just be yourself and be excited about what the group is doing.

[mario_C]

There don't seem to be any meetups for romantically-minded asexuals and virgins, which is precisely why I'm going to start one when my home renovation is done this spring.

 

You can laugh at me all you want, but I've met other asexuals at meetups before (not romantic meetups, though), and many of those asexual women were not only pretty, they were also smart and VERY romantically inclined... sort of like what a "ball of fire" would be like if she didn't want anyone else's genitals near hers.

 

BTW asexuality groups are an exception to the rule, because the men who show up tend to be outnumbered 4:1 by the women.

 

I pity those of you who need your sex fix.

Oh FFS. Yes, I apologize for wanting a level of intimacy with my preferred gender that you do not want. I'm a bad person for feeling differently about it than you.

[ltjg45]

Just talk to anyone inviting. The beauty of these groups is that people are OK with you joining them, unlike, say, at a bar.

I am in the uncomfortable position of hoping the last item is because you're broke, and not because your social anxiety is so bad that you'd rather work all day and night than have a social life. Ever see the movie "Fight Club"?

 

I am not broke but I barely got enough money to go to 1 Meetup group tops every 2 weeks.

 

This is why, after that one Meetup, I rather work a second job instead. Make myself a little more productive. After all, I really didn't talk to anyone that night so it was, in essence, a huge waste of time and money.