60 Days No Contact Results

[Dyamond]

Hi everyone, just posting my results after my ex who dated me for 7 months left to be with " someone else......and lest be friends"

I hope this can help others who are in similar situation.

Few day before thanksgiving that when i remember the break up happened. Right after the break up I engaged into the "No Contact Rule." At first it was to get him back in my life. However, as time past, it became more of a healing method for me.

This was not easy. Again, this was not easy.

 

Days 1-8

This was the hardest part of it all. "Getting use" to the idea that my ex will no longer be part of my life. During this part i recommend that you avoid being alone as much as possible. Stay close to your friends and family, and avoid thinking about him/her as much as possible.

 

Days 9-20

The no hope phase.Lost and confused.

Surprisingly my EX contacted me on day 17th with a phone call...followed by a text "How are you?"

.....I did not reply. I wanted to...but i did not. I feel like the intentions of his contact was to keep his words of "lest be friends" BS.

 

Days 21-31

I developed more urges to contact him. My mind started to develop false hope on " what if this....what if that...maybe i should call him back"

Surprisingly again...my EX got back in the picture by "liking" (a few of my Facebook posts that were non related to him.)

 

Days 32-40

I feel like i needed to free myself completely and stop living on false hope. So I deleted his contact number, I unfriend him on Facebook, i threw away everything that reminded me of him.....I started going on a couple of dates to help the healing process.

 

Days 33-50

I started questioning myself if i did the right thing. This was more of an acceptance phase for me where I knew that there is no going back. I stop questioning myself and just continue to go with the flow.

 

Days 50-60

Occasionally i will think about him, but not as much. I'm not sure how this would have turned out if i called him back after 30 days......I may have ruined my chances......he has stopped contacting me since. It does not look like he really wants me back after all, so i feel like I made the right choice.

Surprisingly, I started wondering if i would take him back if i had the choice in the future.

 

 

What i can say to all of you going to the same thing is put yourself first and focus on becoming a better person. :o

It will seem impossible at first, but time will heal everything.:o

[Sandy99]

I think it's good you didn't call him back. No doubt he would have engaged you in another riveting conversation about how you're going to be such great friends now and you would probably have been crushed.

 

I think if he's really interested in getting back together, he would be trying harder or stating specifically that he wants to talk to you about getting back together or working things out.

 

No matter what it's good you gave yourself a break. I think that both dumpers and dumpees go through an irrational stage immediately after breaking up and it's best just to stay away from each other for a few months at least. Unless of course the dumper has reconsidered and wants to be back in the relationship that they left and the dumpee is eager to work things out.

[LLQ1986]

Yeah I'm on NC day 7/8/9- lol couldn't bother to keep track.

 

Initially we agreed to stay friends after the BU (my ex fell for another girl and wanted to remain friends), but then a lot things happened in between that one week i decided to say gbye to him and start my healing process.

 

I'm nervous about receiving breadcrumbs from him because I don't think I can handle any right now...and i don't want to.

 

If it's just a 'hey how r u' message, i'd prefer not hearing from him at all.

[Dyamond]

Yeah I'm on NC day 7/8/9- lol couldn't bother to keep track.

 

Initially we agreed to stay friends after the BU (my ex fell for another girl and wanted to remain friends), but then a lot things happened in between that one week i decided to say gbye to him and start my healing process.

 

I'm nervous about receiving breadcrumbs from him because I don't think I can handle any right now...and i don't want to.

 

If it's just a 'hey how r u' message, i'd prefer not hearing from him at all.

 

Don't fall for the simple "hey how r u message"....as selfish as it sounds, most dumpers don't want to see you moving on fast just in case they change their mind later.

[Dyamond]

I think it's good you didn't call him back. No doubt he would have engaged you in another riveting conversation about how you're going to be such great friends now and you would probably have been crushed.

 

I think if he's really interested in getting back together, he would be trying harder or stating specifically that he wants to talk to you about getting back together or working things out.

 

No matter what it's good you gave yourself a break. I think that both dumpers and dumpees go through an irrational stage immediately after breaking up and it's best just to stay away from each other for a few months at least. Unless of course the dumper has reconsidered and wants to be back in the relationship that they left and the dumpee is eager to work things out.

 

 

Yes, you are right. it is almost 90 days no contact now. If he wanted to work things out, he would have done so already. Therefore, right now i'm working on a closure.

[BC1980]

Yes, you are right. it is almost 90 days no contact now. If he wanted to work things out, he would have done so already. Therefore, right now i'm working on a closure.

 

I think that if a dumper truly wanted to work things out, he/she would make more of an effort to contact the dumpee. All of these meaningless texts and phone calls with no messages left are not worth anyone's time. Eventually, the dumper would try something more drastic to get a second chance. Otherwise, the dumper isn't serious.

[Lifegoezon]

You sound like you're doing good because your doing everything right. We should all learn from stories like this. There is life after BU and NC is how we get there. Stay strong people - we can do this.

[LLQ1986]

Don't fall for the simple "hey how r u message"....as selfish as it sounds, most dumpers don't want to see you moving on fast just in case they change their mind later.

 

I broke NC 2 weeks ago by emailing him when I was getting super stressful and miserable at work... just complaints about work and nothing on the relationship. He replied with some words of encouragement and telling me to blame them all on him. I did not reply after that email.

 

Days ago I received a card from him (sent before the BU)... I broke down and cried when I opened that card...like how quickly someone could change. So i emailed him again. He replied and apologized of how that card made me feeling like **** and asked me to bin it. I replied saying I won't, I'll just keep and put it in a box (alongside with other stuff he's sent me over the years). He took 2 days to email me back...wishes/greetings of Chinese New Year...wishing I'll be happy again bla bla bla.

 

After that email, he started liking my pictures posted on Instagram. I got mad and blocked him (unfollowed him before this) from seeing any of my stuff again. I really think he's a selfish guy. He thought liking my photos shows that he still cares for me and will be there for me along the way (road of recovery)...I believe that makes him feel less guilty. But no, I will not grant him the opportunity. He does not deserve to know if I'm doing okay or not.

 

I just got back from a vacation. I was happy during the trip and thought of him just occasionally. But now when I'm back, I feel slightly uneasy and down at times as i still miss him terribly.

 

I even started to stalk him on Instagram (set on public). He's recently posted a selfie... he's never done that for months now. I have also suspected that I've found out who's the girl he's dumping me for.

 

In short, I started stalking both of them on Instagram and trust me I've never felt this miserable in my life before...

 

I know I need to stop doing that.