Theory : Certain personality types will never succeed with OLD.

[BlametheIrish]

Your messages are just fine like the other ladirs stated. They eould be a breath of fresh air compared to a very good portion of messages I received during my OLD experience.

 

But like a previous poster said, a nice smiling pic goes a ling way too. Hope you have one on your profile. Because you look a little stern in your LS profile, an inviting smile goes a,long way

 

P.s. To all who said Mila Kunis is hot, I used to have a woman crush on het too until I saw her with no makeup on, ruined it for me completely. At least I still have Olivia Wilde.

[irc333]

Well, it's good to hear that SOME women (out of a billion or so on the internet) has an appreciation of such emails, too bad they live half way across the globe. lol

 

 

Your messages are just fine like the other ladirs stated. They eould be a breath of fresh air compared to a very good portion of messages I received during my OLD experience.

 

But like a previous poster said, a nice smiling pic goes a ling way too. Hope you have one on your profile. Because you look a little stern in your LS profile, an inviting smile goes a,long way

 

P.s. To all who said Mila Kunis is hot, I used to have a woman crush on het too until I saw her with no makeup on, ruined it for me completely. At least I still have Olivia Wilde.

[Yur]

I also think that a good majority of men have NO CLUE about what makes them look good as far as pics go, my guy included. I can't count the number of men's photos I saw with upwards nose hair double chin shot with the serial killer frown. Really?? My guy had about 4 or 5 photos. None really great, but I could clearly see how he looked. His written profile was not that great, but it did show a little vulnerability. I favorited him on a whim and he messaged me.

 

We kept our profiles for awhile and continued to message each other through the app even after our first date. He said he never got messages and didn't understand why I was so attracted to him. So as an experiment, I told him what pic to put up from ones that were exchanged between us. He put the pic up and within minutes, started getting messages and meet me requests. He was astonished. He took the pic down at the end of the day, but still proved my point. Initially, it IS about the pics. After that, its about the personality and what you bring to the table.

 

I think this is absolutely true, myself very much included.

 

Keenly, have you tried My Best Face - Home ? I used it once to find out which of the photos I should use as my main. Even if you don't put your own up for rating, I think that it's great to see which types of photos work, and it gives graphs of the personality types which like your picture. There are guys on there with some amazing photos. Just an aside though, my luck hasn't really increased since trying to implement improvements and tips I've read about. I'm currently trying the 'men who look away from the camera are more attractive' one, which does not seem to be very effective so far!

[Shepp]

^^^I've become quite the master at selfies. People just don't know how to work them. Cropping and photo editor is a fabulous thing!

 

I'm not a big fan of the selfies everyone seems to take in the bathroom/bedroom mirror at the moment. I see it on facebook all the time.

Pretty certain if I was online dating, I'd be more drawn to the girl who's hairs maybe a little windblown but shes outdoors actually doing something than the one who looks like shes on a catwalk but I can see her shower & soap dispenser in the background

 

That's probably just a personal thing mind.

 

You had a video on youtube playing guitar. Put up another one of you playing guitar, chatting in a different environment or a compilation of various activities and locales. You will certainly stand out more.

I agree. Personally i'd be looking for the girl who was hot and doing different exciting things in her photos.

Peple say they like 'sports' 'the outdoors' and the like but you know what they say - picture or it didn't happen!

[Phoe]

I agree. Personally i'd be looking for the girl who was hot and doing different exciting things in her photos.

Peple say they like 'sports' 'the outdoors' and the like but you know what they say - picture or it didn't happen!

 

I know I personally avoided pictures of me doing anything, as I'd read on this forum many times that it puts off a pretentious vibe like "oh hey look at the cool stuff I do I'm gonna show off all the fun stuff I want you to think I do" - which to me is just silly, idk why people would think badly of someone posting a photo of themselves doing something they enjoy, but I decided to avoid the hassle and just put a clear face shot up and that was all. Lol

[Keenly]

Sort of smiling? I just put this one up.

 

I can not "fake" smile for a camera.

[BC1980]

It comes down to luck sometimes, just like in real life. I was not looking for anyone when I met all of my past boyfriends. I think OLD is like anything else. Sometimes, you meet someone, and it works out. Other times, it doesn't. I haven't tried it, but I've been thinking about it. I don't see the harm in it, and, if anything, I could meet some cool people.

[BlametheIrish]

Sort of smiling? I just put this one up.

 

I can not "fake" smile for a camera.

 

I can see a faint smile forming on your lips if I squint really hard

 

Still much less brooding than your last pic.

[GemmaUK]

Love your new pic Keenly!

 

If you were in the UK and my age-ish....

[Eau Claire]

Millions of males have found their dream woman on line....millions.

 

Listen to those who have been successful and listen to us women.

 

If you were wanting to start a restaurant, do you seek advice from those who never ran one or opened a few and they all failed? No, you seek advice from those who have a thriving business. The successes.

 

The same with customers. If the customers do not like your food, don't wait for them to change tastes. They will come to your restaurant when you meet their needs. The same with women. If you listen to the losers wallowing in negativity about women are this and women are that...so what?...you have learned nothing about how to attract a woman. You just learn what doesn't work.

 

Listen to successful men. Listen to women. Turn off the volume when the negative whiners start whining.

[GemmaUK]

If you listen to the losers wallowing in negativity about women are this and women are that...so what?...you have learned nothing about how to attract a woman. You just learn what doesn't work.

 

Listen to successful men. Listen to women. Turn off the volume when the negative whiners start whining.

 

One hundred and plus percent! Well said!

[MixedUpChick]

I'm not a big fan of the selfies everyone seems to take in the bathroom/bedroom mirror at the moment. I see it on facebook all the time.

 

I strongly dislike selfie's too. I see tons of men's profiles where all or most of their pics are selfies. I always think "wow, you don't have even ONE friend/family member who could take a picture for you?!" Heck, even grab a stranger & ask them to snap a shot of you if you go somewhere good for a photo.

[newmoon]

I strongly dislike selfie's too. I see tons of men's profiles where all or most of their pics are selfies. I always think "wow, you don't have even ONE friend/family member who could take a picture for you?!" Heck, even grab a stranger & ask them to snap a shot of you if you go somewhere good for a photo.

 

 

I changed my mind about selfies... didn't like them initially but now I both like them and post them. they are generally very recent photos as opposed to pics taken who knows when. no shirtless/bathroom ones though - those are creepy.

[Keenly]

I strongly dislike selfie's too. I see tons of men's profiles where all or most of their pics are selfies. I always think "wow, you don't have even ONE friend/family member who could take a picture for you?!" Heck, even grab a stranger & ask them to snap a shot of you if you go somewhere good for a photo.

 

I don't like getting my picture taken. I never have. I don't know why. Camera shy?

[MixedUpChick]

I changed my mind about selfies... didn't like them initially but now I both like them and post them. they are generally very recent photos as opposed to pics taken who knows when. no shirtless/bathroom ones though - those are creepy.

 

Yeah I agree they can have their place, but sometimes all they have in their profile is a selfie. Just seems very wrong... and the bathroom mirror shirtless ones are just plain creepy.

 

I don't like getting my picture taken. I never have. I don't know why. Camera shy?

 

I'm the same way, but in terms on online dating you need pictures, so I try to find someone to take one of me when I think I look good. My daughter has taken some for me, she does a great job because she has a good eye for what looks good vs bad, where some people won't look too critically at what they shot & later you look closer & see you had one eye closed or something crazy going on

 

Last year I even treated myself to a photo session with a "real" photographer so I could post pictures that I thought were nicer than what I'd get otherwise. It was also a self-esteem boost to see how great I can look in pictures!

[ja123]

I like your new pic, Keenly, and I like your messages, too. I wouldn't leave the santa hat pic up, though ... Xmas is over.

 

 

Just keep being yourself and eventually you'll find the one who's a match.

 

 

You're a catch!

[CrystalCastles]

Wo-ow Keenly, judging by your profile picture, you should be raking in messages on OLD!

 

I myself have found OLD very frustrating, so I probably fit into the type that will not succeed at it. I've found that many men I talked to couldn't sustain proper conversations, and they'd send me many simple messages like "lol" and "cool". Can't really reply to that. Also, I'd get many messages which would gush about my looks and nothing else, so I tended to not reply to that either (I don't really want someone so superficial that all they did was look at my picture and not even read anything I wrote! It's ok to find a person good-looking but writing "You are so beautiful, you're probably not even going to reply to me but I just wanted to let you know", how blah).

 

It's a shame you don't live in Vancouver, you sound like a very sweet guy. Maybe California has a shortage of nice ladies or something.

[kodakgirl]

In my message examples, the VERY first one is so short because that girl was CUUUUUUUUUTE as hell. She wasn't hot, she wasn't sexy, she was adorable. She was like 5'1 , freckles, a bow in her hair, bright blue eyes, making a smile with a scrunched up nose, and I was so amazed with how cute she was I was unable to really come up with anything to say. Speechless.

 

Awww-- you have no idea how happy I am to hear this! I'm definitely the adorable type, and sometimes I feel it sucks because "everyone" wants the hot or sexy girl instead and I'm just not that type. I have occasionally had guys think I am so CUTE and find it super appealing, but especially with the ways women are presented as desirable in today's media, being adorable instead of sexy can feel like a huge disadvantage. I'm really super glad to hear that cuteness can really do it for some guys.

 

On topic-- unsurprisingly I agree with many of the others. Luck and timing are really big things (and the only real reason I keep my online profile around, just in case!). It sounds like you are doing things right. For me, as for many women I suspect, test a) for 'am I going to reply to the message' is "does the message suck?". Your messages don't suck. I would definitely go look at your profile and go from there.

 

The thing about online dating, even more so than 'real life', is that you're approaching someone without a sense of what appeals to them. They might appear to be just what you're looking for-- but you might not be at all what they are looking for, and it's almost impossible to tell. You don't necessarily get a lot more before approaching strangers in real life, but at least you usually have made enough eye contact that you know they at least feel you're the physical type that appeals to them. Maybe the guy I'm messaging doesn't feel the adorable thing-- I come across as 'little sister' not 'romantic interest'. I'm kind of an arty type, but generally prefer guys who aren't-- maybe the science-guy I've messaged wants another science-girl. When you write someone based just on a profile, you're making a total guess about whether or not you'll appeal to them. Of course you're going to be wrong sometimes (or often, depending on how attuned you are to the types you generally attract). A lot of men who write to me just aren't going to be a fit for me, and I can see that right away, even if their messages are thoughtful (I do generally reply to longer, more thoughtful messages though, nicely). A lot of men I write to apparently think the same about me (I get maybe one response in 5 or 6, despite some of the people writing to me being very enthusiastic about my looks and/or profile). They're shots in the dark. Sometimes they'll line up. It's hard not to take it personally when they don't, but it's key. If you're feeling too negative about dating (online or off) it will repel the right ones-- take a break, if you need to, but don't get bitter. Stay optimistic, enjoy your own life, and don't give up.

[Mrlonelyone]

IME

 

Online dating is 75% + about your picture and 25% about your profile text. If the picture is attractive they visit your profile. There, for women it becomes about a few things.

 

No deal breakers.

Height at least taller than them, especially six foot.

Income, the higher the better.

 

The reason most men have a problem online dating is that many women OLD and have.

 

100 "deal breakers"

Will not take a man less than 3" taller than them in 3" heels. So if she's 5'6" no man under six feet will do.

High income of over say $50,000.

 

The problems is most men have one of the 100 deal breakers, only about 15% of men are six feet tall or more, and the median income is less than 50,000 USD. The result is that about 4% of men are even acceptable enough to write to for most women.

 

In real life a woman just sees that a man is taller than her 6" or not. She sees that he has money enough to care for himself. She then has to take time to learn if he has the deal breakers and maybe discover a mostly decent man in the process.

[Speakingofwhich]

So unless you are super attractive/impressive in the first moments, you have almost zero chance.

 

 

Keenly IS super attractive and impressive.

 

The problem is that with OLD people interact with such a great number of other people that all people kind of fade together into one big melting pot of photos, instead of seeming like people.

 

The photos really don't seem like possibilities, just photos.

 

And after awhile they all begin to look the same.

 

I quit doing OLD years ago because I knew I was tossing aside some really good guys. The problem was there were so many that none of them stood out. Even the very good looking ones.

Edited January 26, 2014 by Speakingofwhich
punctuation

[kart180]

I would love to use online dating but just find too little results.

 

My only deal breakers are

Never smoked tobacco or quiet for at least 3 years

Never drank alchool or sober for at least 4 years

Never Married

No kids

 

Other than that, age should be at least between 20-35. Nothing else.

[Smthn_Like_Olivia]

IME

 

Online dating is 75% + about your picture and 25% about your profile text. If the picture is attractive they visit your profile. There, for women it becomes about a few things.

 

No deal breakers.

Height at least taller than them, especially six foot.

Income, the higher the better.

 

The reason most men have a problem online dating is that many women OLD and have.

 

100 "deal breakers"

Will not take a man less than 3" taller than them in 3" heels. So if she's 5'6" no man under six feet will do.

High income of over say $50,000.

 

The problems is most men have one of the 100 deal breakers, only about 15% of men are six feet tall or more, and the median income is less than 50,000 USD. The result is that about 4% of men are even acceptable enough to write to for most women.

 

In real life a woman just sees that a man is taller than her 6" or not. She sees that he has money enough to care for himself. She then has to take time to learn if he has the deal breakers and maybe discover a mostly decent man in the process.

 

This is true. And what these people fail to realize is that their shallow dealbreakers are what's limiting them from finding a great partner. I'm 5'7, 5'10-5'11 with heals on, but I still went on dates with guys who were 5'8. I have a friend that's been single for 3 years, never married, no kids and 39. She's only 5'3 but absolutely REFUSED to entertain anyone under 6ft, even 5'11!! I was like WTH?? And still she complains about being alone for the rest of her life.

[Scales]

This girl listed game of thrones as one of her favorite shows

 

"Game of thrones starts up again soon

Have you ever watched the walking dead?"

 

Here is one to another girl.

 

"Hey there.

 

Your profile really stuck out to me, one of the few that made me smile.

 

I'd rather like to get to know you. Slowly, of course. You could be a rapist I see you have a thing for hot nerds. Well, I can't speculate as to the level of my attractiveness, But I'll die with my nerdiness tattoo'ed on my sleeve.

 

I have one question though. I see you have a nice left handed acoustic on the wall behind you in one of your pictures. Now would that happen to be yours?"

 

Here is a girl I was rather impressed with, and would have (possibly will?) enjoyed just talking to.

 

 

" Hey there. I have to start off by saying its so completely refreshing to see a woman who thinks on a deeper intellectual level than what I'm used to reading on OKcupid.

 

I too like to speculate, debate, and dissect the psychological and sociological aspects as to why people act the way they act and why they feel the way the feel.

 

My name is Pat, and I would very much enjoy actually having a conversation about obscurely specific topics , for example , the topic of behavior control. Why do people practice this ? What makes some one feel the need to tell another how to live or love ?

 

Anyway, if you want to talk a whole lot of nothing , I'd be most obliged. Have a great day "

 

I think the nerd girl message is pretty good. The other two though I have some things to say.

 

Personally, I never liked bringing up tv shows as a matching interest unless its like a really obscure show that shows a level of cult interest possibly i.e. Firefly etc. Everyone watches breaking bad, walking dead, game of thrones, and doctor who. Its kind of like mentioning that you both wear shirts. If its the only thing you can relate to in the profile, try and relate it to a story of yours. You probably have more detailed messages though about it so just a thought.

 

The last message was bordering on almost too nice. It is good to be polite, but it is completely devoid of anything exciting. You've matched interests but you are selling it like you are at a quarterly earnings meeting. There is no passion or emotion for your enjoyment of behavior study coming through in the e-mail. Try to think about ways you can set yourself apart from other guys while also creating an emotional or curious spark of attraction. I'd also lose the have a great day + smiley. It makes it seem like you are at church or something.

 

Obviously these are my opinions. You have a great foundation and the ladies here love you. Pictures are solid, just try and get something with you doing something you love also rather than a head shot (you may have that photo already no idea). I would say just try and be a little more playful, less business. I don't want you to go outside doing you too much, just make small changes that build up and see what happens. If you get replies you can come on here and shoot me down Keep trying you will win.

[kodakgirl]

IME

 

Online dating is 75% + about your picture and 25% about your profile text. If the picture is attractive they visit your profile. There, for women it becomes about a few things.

 

No deal breakers.

Height at least taller than them, especially six foot.

Income, the higher the better.

 

The reason most men have a problem online dating is that many women OLD and have.

 

100 "deal breakers"

Will not take a man less than 3" taller than them in 3" heels. So if she's 5'6" no man under six feet will do.

High income of over say $50,000.

 

The problems is most men have one of the 100 deal breakers, only about 15% of men are six feet tall or more, and the median income is less than 50,000 USD. The result is that about 4% of men are even acceptable enough to write to for most women.

 

In real life a woman just sees that a man is taller than her 6" or not. She sees that he has money enough to care for himself. She then has to take time to learn if he has the deal breakers and maybe discover a mostly decent man in the process.

 

I'm sure this is true for some women, but saying "women" feel like this is unfair. I think the better a woman's heart, the less likely she is to be concerned about these things-- and don't you want the woman with a good heart?

 

I am picky, yes, online and in real life... but it has nothing to do with the things you've mentioned. Height? Don't care (the two most wonderful guys I've met up with from online were 5'7"). Income? Don't care (though the desire to do something with one's life matters to me).

 

I have a couple dealbreakers-- no smoking, no drugs, no excessive drinking, not super religious. And yes, I need to find him somewhat attractive (giving allowance for the fact that a lot of guys are rubbish at picking good pictures), although this has nothing to do with 'model' looks. Beyond that, I'm going through the profile asking-- does he come across as nice? Enthusiastic? Optimistic? Friendly? Intelligent? Does he have a variety of interests? A 'no' on any of these will probably mean I'm not interested, because I know very well what I want in a partner and I'm not going to comprise on any of those traits. He might be a totally decent, worthwhile guy, but I know what works for me and what I want. The thought of being with a man who is pessimistic or lackadaisical fills me with dread. I'd rather be single, even if he's nice.

 

So, seriously, stop with all the "it's looks, income, and height!!". It isn't always. And for the women these things are most important too-- would you want to date them anyway? Imagine the kind of woman who thinks she'll only be happy with a rich 6 foot guy... I can't imagine she's a total sweetheart who appreciates what matters in life.

Edited January 26, 2014 by kodakgirl

[Keenly]

I just saw a page on PoF I've never seen before. The contacted page.

 

I've contacted 203 different women. None have gone anywhere.

 

That's gotta be a record and might just prove ton have some evidence supporting my original Theory.

 

 

Some of you have been very generous with your compliments, which is awesome. But it still seems like I have some sort of inability to play this game like a pro. I can't seem to get thrbengine started so to speak. Which is stupid because its really easy in real life.