How do you cope with divorce?

[Evergreen160]

Everyone here seems to be talking about the specific situation they are going though but how do you just cope with the divorce itself and still manage to get up in the morning, go to work, etc. My divorce is pretty amicable. Married 15 years with two small kids. I even want the divorce as I just was so sad and angry with the relationship all the time. But even so it is incredibly overwhelming to be looking for new housing, a new job, researching schools for the kids,…. Some days I just want to stay in bed and cry all day. Sometimes I can't stop crying. Anyone have any advice for getting through this time?

[TaraMaiden]

Worzel Gummidge.

 

Worzel Gummidge is a character in British children's fiction who originally appeared in a series of books by the novelist Barbara Euphan Todd.[1] A walking, talking scarecrow, Gummidge has a set of interchangeable turnip, mangel worzel and swede heads, each of which suit a particular occasion or endow him with a specific skill.

 

The way to survive, is to separate everything.

 

Emotional and Practical.

 

It's essential that whatever factors you have to address with regard to dealing with this permanent separation, you 'use the right head'.

 

When it comes to approaching the practical matters of moving on, such as school for your kids, a new place to live... you must give yourself the time to digest and process things in a logical, practical but most importantly, unemotional way.

Prioritise, and process.

 

never be afraid to use help if you need it. Get it from wherever you can, but make sure it's constructive and supportive.

 

The emotional side is for you to vent, get out, and weep and wail over, but with close friends and family, and in a private, safe place.

 

Do that first - adopt coping mechanisms.

 

But don't mix.

[RedHawk08]

All I can say is "SIT TIGHT!"

 

Speaking fron experience, you are about to find out a LOT!

 

You're going to find out just how tough you can be. At the same time you're going to find yourself face to face with all your faults too. You're going to have to beat those.

 

You will also most likely discover who you can really trust amongst your friends and family. An added pain you can do without.

(I discovered friends I had known for 15 - 20 years were trying to stir things up for the chance of a leg over with my wife. Family members even showed their true colours too)

This is a good thing in the long term of course. I'm left with around 10% of the people I once cared about.

 

You'll may even be surprised to discover former acquaintances turn into the best friends you've had.

 

Extreme situations show people for who they are.

 

This will likely be the most testing time of yor life.

It was for me.

If you don't come out of this a bitter and twisted individual (I felt like I was turning into Darth Vader at kne point), you'll come out as a better person than you were before.

 

Then you'll both have the bittersweet feeling that your spouse is walking away from the partner she wanted all along.

 

That's how my situation is at the moment.