Will NC work for me?

[jalfy]

Hi guys, seriously need some advice here and if NC works in my case..

 

The situation is this.. we got together last year for only a month (We knew each other since college but only started getting in touch again around 7 months ago). However, after we got together, things weren't exactly perfect because I realised there were differences between us and I was insecure and fearful about the relationship, and in turn, he was kind of affected about how often we had to discuss about the problems of our relationship. And we argued quite frequently and I was quite mean then when I said a lot of hurtful things to him.

 

So after a month, he told him he couldn't take it anymore and wanted to give up. He said he was drained and defeated. After losing him, I realised how awful I was during and I told him that I'd change. I kinda begged him for another 1 month to ask him to try again. During this period of time, he told me that he did think of trying again but he's afraid that things will go back to the way it was. And besides, I was still doing the things that he didn't like. Also, during this time, something happened between him and his close friend that made things worse for him so much so that he was feeling worse than before. But he finally told him that he was willing to try again cos he thought things might change.

 

UNFORTUNATELY, the next day, he told him he realised he couldn't do it because he wasn't in a state to commit to me, or to anyone else. He decided to call it off after I assumed some little things about him (and he hates it when I assumes). He told me that he couldn't do it, that he wasn't in any state to do it and little things will trigger him. I asked him if he is willing to try again after he's ready and he said he doesn't know because he's not thinking about relationship in the near future. He told me that in logic, guys will always go back to what is familiar to him (aka me). He still wants to be friends and that MAYBE we will get back together. But all in all, he doesn't know what will happen in future, and he doesn't want to promise or assure me anything.

 

In the last message I sent him, I asked if he wanted me to let go completely and if he might not want me back no matter what happens. He replied he didn't say that and there's a possibility of it going both ways. He asked for me to move on first, and if he returns, he returns. If he's too late and i'm attached, then it's his loss. I went NC on him since then.

 

Do you think he will come back to me if i go NC? We only got together for a month though, and I begged him for 1 month before the second break up, and two days later I went NC.

[BC1980]

Let this one go. It's not worth it. You were only together one month, and he's been super clear that he doesn't want a relationship. Don't use NC as a game to get him back because you will end up as the one who is played.

[organizedchaos]

All this drama in one month? Take it as a sign that you two are not compatible. It will only get worse. Move on.

 

 

And NC is not meant to get them back.

[jalfy]

What does it mean in this situation?

 

1. Ex said he will never consider me again. And it's totally over.

2. Ex said he will never contact me again.

 

But..

 

1. When I asked if we could do a video call on skype, he said yes.

2. Though he said we could skype for 5 minutes, in the end we talked for 30 minutes.

3. He was so angry during the conversation, saying that he had given me the chance to change but I didn't do it.

4. He said that throughout the 2 months, he kept asking for space but I didn't give it, and now it's too late.

4. I said I would give him space but he said he couldn't trust me anymore.

5. But at the end of the conversation, I said I would earn back his trust, he said whatever.

 

I've heard that when a man gets angry, it's merely a mean of coping and it shows that he still cares. And, how do you tell whether an angry man means what he says?