Feeling Depress

[haven]

Hello, Sometimes i am just so frustrated i dont no where my life is anymore. Two years ago i was in an accident i am in alot of pain and seeing alot of doctors i just dont no where to turn anymore. I have not work since and mostly on bed i am on alot of medications which i have to depend on alot. I am also on morphine and steroids injections. I have three kids which i feel like its unfair to them even though they gets everything they need. The boys like the dont seem to bother with school work even though i always talk to them over and over. My ex came home to help with the kids but even though i do my best to keep the family together from day one i feel empty inside. I dont go anywhere due to how i am not well. my ex and i divorce cuz i found him with someone but to this day he says he was never unfaithful. He drinks alot and limes out unless he is not drunk he wont stop. I have been true alot with him and now cuz of my accident he is here. It stills hurts alot what he has done to me cuz i almost went mad. I went tru a bad depression and still on depression tablets due to the accident my depression got worst. I am also diabetic and on insulin and also has blood pressure. My life seems to be getting worst than better. I believe in God and know he didnt turn his back on me cuz i am lucky to be alive to see my kids. I just want to get better. Help me please. I feel so alone.