Wisecrack Posted January 26, 2014 Share Posted January 26, 2014 I found out a coworker had become single for a while now while during an after work function. Thing is I'd always had a thing for her but never acted on it because she was in a relationship. Through these next few weeks, we've ended up getting closer and more flirtatious with one another. She was always commenting about going to places I frequent. So the other day I made it my goal to get her number. It was a mission. Her mouth was going a million miles and I ended up teasingly interrupting of which we shared a moment staring into each others eyes. I could not believe how big her pupils were I noted. Well during that conversation I convinced her to come to the Xmas work party jokingly as my date and we agreed. So this is the conundrum. The party is next week and we have a mutual friends party the following day too so basically I am seeing her twice then. Now that I have her number, I am not sure if I should message her sometime during the week or not. I was thinking of asking her out to dinner or even a quick drink but then I'll see her again obviously the next few days at the two parties. So what would you guys do in this case? Don't seem too interested and wait til the weekend or message her to touch base and possibly meet up mid week? Link to post Share on other sites
hasaquestion Posted January 26, 2014 Share Posted January 26, 2014 My .02 is that trying to "not seem interested" is dumb. You think she's attractive. Why not let her know? The real concern is that you want to come off as INTERESTED but at the same time not DESPERATE. And most guys tend to act desperate when they are interested. That's what I see. So IMO... instead of waiting just to act cool, be cool. Instead of not contacting her for a few days to pretend you're meeting other girls or occupied with other hobbies, actually spend that time meeting girls or pursuing hobbies. And in the meantime, give her a ring anyway, since you'd like to chat some time (and you're not ashamed of that), and suggest something to do together. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 27, 2014 Share Posted January 27, 2014 Reach out sooner rather than later. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
acrosstheuniverse Posted January 27, 2014 Share Posted January 27, 2014 I'm so sick of seeing guys who think they will increase a woman's attraction level by NOT calling or texting her. Look, if I like somebody and they don't get in touch I will presume they are uninterested and move on. If they get in touch, I'll be happy and probably like them more, because I know it's mutual. It's that simple. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
organizedchaos Posted January 27, 2014 Share Posted January 27, 2014 Swingers - YouTube Link to post Share on other sites
TXGuy Posted January 27, 2014 Share Posted January 27, 2014 As long as you are breaking the rule of 'don't date co-workers' anyway, you certainly want to call her prior to the back to back dates you have scheduled. You obviously like her. If you like her, show interest. Maybe have lunch or a drink after work. Make sure you have some interesting conversation. You can be a little flirty, but do not escalate prior to the real date(s). Link to post Share on other sites
Eau Claire Posted January 27, 2014 Share Posted January 27, 2014 Sooner the better. We want to know that you think we are special. Boys play games...men go after what they want. As said above...be decisive but not desperate. Re a coworker. If she declines, be gracious. Don't ask again. An added benefit of being gracious is that she may admire this in you. Most women have encountered guys who are immature or irresponsible when handling rejection. We like all together, stable men. Perhaps, just perhaps she may make an approach one day if she sees admirable qualities in you...but don't pursue her. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Aquanut Posted January 27, 2014 Share Posted January 27, 2014 I like the two dates for the price of one you've done here. I was kind of sneaky and got two dates for the price of one once. The woman I wanted to date was going to a party on a Saturday that I was also going to. I wanted to make sure our first date was before this party. I asked her to lunch, telling her I was free either Thursday or Friday. She chose Friday. We had our lunch date on Friday which went ok- nothing special actually. We both already liked each other but were a bit nervous because it was a "date" something about labeling it a date made us less natural together. We had spent time together but never had we labelled it a date. At the end I told her I would see her at the party tomorrow. We both went to the party as planned and I hung out with her quite a bit. We had a really good time and ended up kissing once during the party and a few times afterwards. We consider the date of that party our anniversary now. Having the party happen right after our date gave us two chances to get it right. Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted January 27, 2014 Share Posted January 27, 2014 Don't wait. Call her straight away. Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted January 27, 2014 Share Posted January 27, 2014 I'm so sick of seeing guys who think they will increase a woman's attraction level by NOT calling or texting her. Look, if I like somebody and they don't get in touch I will presume they are uninterested and move on. If they get in touch, I'll be happy and probably like them more, because I know it's mutual. It's that simple. Testify! This, OP. Because if she's got half a brain, you aren't the only got she's dating. And if someone has more balls than you to call right away, you'll miss the boat. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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