Dating Frustration

[avoforastig]

I'm a professional in my early 30's living in a large urban area. I became single about a year and a half ago after ending a long term relationship. My circle of single friends is relatively limited. I've been trying an online dating site over the past 7 months. While I seem to get dates frequently, most of the women seem to have either no personality or are a bit on the crazy side. I've become really frustrated and am not sure where or how to meet more women. The last three women I dated were definitely interested in me but I just didn't share their interest level. I do feel that my confidence is higher than its ever been. I don't want to seem like a player but multi-datimg seems like it might be worthwhile. What do you guys think about the quality of folks with OLD? Where are great places to meet women?

[TXGuy]

As you might have figured out, dating as a man in your early thirties is different from any dating you have done in your life. The script has just started to flip. You will find women are more interested in you, but the quality does not seem to be there. Basically, women rule the dating world from the time they are 15 until they are about 30. Men rule the dating world from 35 till (at least) 50. From 30-35, is the flip zone.

 

While it is much easier for men in their mid 30s and beyond, finding decent women is difficult. Most of the good ones got married in their early to mid 20s. But there are some decent ones left, you just have to sift through the less desirable ones to find ones worth dating more than a few nights.

 

Meetups and social circle are old standbys. Probably your best bet. Definitely stay away from clubs. 30 year old club chicks are not high probability targets.

[SYLLPalmer]

As you might have figured out, dating as a man in your early thirties is different from any dating you have done in your life. The script has just started to flip. You will find women are more interested in you, but the quality does not seem to be there. Basically, women rule the dating world from the time they are 15 until they are about 30. Men rule the dating world from 35 till (at least) 50. From 30-35, is the flip zone.

 

While it is much easier for men in their mid 30s and beyond, finding decent women is difficult. Most of the good ones got married in their early to mid 20s. But there are some decent ones left, you just have to sift through the less desirable ones to find ones worth dating more than a few nights.

 

Meetups and social circle are old standbys. Probably your best bet. Definitely stay away from clubs. 30 year old club chicks are not high probability targets.

 

Good grief!

[winny]

I applaud your patience... 7 months is a pretty long time to be dealing with crazies...

 

But sometimes all you can do is just keep trying and keep hopes alive... some day will be your day

[PegNosePete]

I'll give you a hint. The "quality" of women on OLD is exactly the same as the "quality" of women in real life. They are the same people. Using OLD does not make you lower quality.

 

Yes there is a lot of trash on OLD and most of the profiles are completely terrible. I'd recommend being very picky about who you message and/or reply to. A lot of guys are so desperate they will message every profile they read and meet any who respond. I've met quite a few women from OLD and although naturally they haven't all been good romantic matches, I've never met any "low quality" or crazy women. Because I am picky and only choose women who seem interesting, not crazy, and a good match for me. You can tell a lot from a profile, a few messages and a short phone conversation. If they seem crazy or low quality then don't meet them, it's that simple.

[ExposedBrick]

I haven't had to date in a long time. I'm not sure if if I'm being excessively picky or just trying to not waste time since I'm seeking a long term mate. Not all the women have been crazy, mainly just not compatible or our personalities just don't mesh well. I recently went on a few dates with a woman where we had a lot in common, but conversations were still fizzling after only three dates. It's really been tough. I'd like try "multi-dating," but I'm not sure how to accomplish that without feeling sleazy, misleading women, or turning them off if they find out about it. I never had to date when I was younger so maybe I just need to improve my skills.

[SYLLPalmer]

I haven't had to date in a long time. I'm not sure if if I'm being excessively picky or just trying to not waste time since I'm seeking a long term mate. Not all the women have been crazy, mainly just not compatible or our personalities just don't mesh well. I recently went on a few dates with a woman where we had a lot in common, but conversations were still fizzling after only three dates. It's really been tough. I'd like try "multi-dating," but I'm not sure how to accomplish that without feeling sleazy, misleading women, or turning them off if they find out about it. I never had to date when I was younger so maybe I just need to improve my skills.

 

Kids of today will grow up and see OLD as the norm. We are the transitional generations.

 

Your choices :

1. acclimate and blend

2. resist and isolate

 

The choice is yours. I don't waste time being a skeptic mainly because I remember how futile old fashioned thinking was when I was a kid. Counterproductive really.

 

Like anything you need to develop your skills. The key is not to focus on the problem or the differences but to optimize your change ability. Your mind will open and you will see the game of numbers as a requirement for benefiting from the expanded opportunity.

 

Be grateful for the hard work. I know I am.

[PegNosePete]

Yes I was absolutely terrible at online dating when I first tried it. The first 2 iterations of my profile on 2 different sites got virtually no responses. Now I can get a date every weekend if I choose to. Like anything, it's a skill that you have to learn.