Markerman 30 Posted January 28, 2001 Share Posted January 28, 2001 Hi, this is Markerman again, I am involved in a long distance relationship.The challenges I am now facing is I don't feel important or appreciated as much as I did early on in the relationship. When my girlfriend and I first met. We used to spend alot of time online chatting as thats who we met, and now its hard to get an E-mail from her. Its not that I expect it, it just would be nice,if I send her one to get a response back. I told her I appreciate her e-mails and they mean alot to be to recieve them. Another thing that bothers me is I am usually up really early in the morning for work, but I usually am up late to hear from her, as I look forward to this time, to talk to her, she does not usually return the favor, which is upseting, when I make an effort. Everyday I make an effort to show my love to her, either in an e-mail or phone call. I feel like I am being taken for granted sometimes, I have explained the other challenges I am facing with her in earlier messages. I have thought about breaking it off with her.as I think I deserve more than I am currently getting out of this. I am going down in February to see her, should I lay out all my cards on the table and tell her how I feel, Or should I just break it off with her. I do love her, I just don't feel appreciated or important. Bye thanks Markerman. Link to post Share on other sites
Laurynn Posted January 28, 2001 Share Posted January 28, 2001 Hi Markerman.... Before I respond to what you just posted, I did post something to you the other day...but it's wayyyyyy down the board so you probably didn't notice it: Try clicking on the link, if that doesn't work, the URL is below.. My response to you http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?s=&postid=40474#post40474 From all you've posted here, it surely doesn't sound like your relationship is much of a two-way street. Sounds like you do ALL the giving, and compromising and planning and paying. That doesn't seem fair to me. You previously mentioned that your girl has another 3 yrs of school left.....What if you two have to live apart like this for 3 more years..do you see things getting much better? I mean, if she's already taking you for granted NOW, how will things get better? Long distance relationships are extremely tough..and I think it takes two super dedicated people....both giving 100% or else it's going to be too one-sided. If I were you, I'd lessen the contact for a bit. Stop emailing her for a week....stop being 'there' when she calls. I'm not suggesting you 'play games' but maybe you're just 'too available'? Yeah, it would probably be a really good idea to have a good talk with her in February....this doesn't sound like a very rewarding, fulfilling, satisfying relationship for you. You deserve so much more........particularly someone who's on the same wavelength as you. Surely there are nice women who live in your own city.....would make for a much better relationship. Laurynn Link to post Share on other sites
Markerman Posted January 28, 2001 Share Posted January 28, 2001 thanks, for your response to my situation, I do feel alot of time like its a one way street alot of the time. I know that Money isn't the most important thing but I recieved what resembled a post card for a valentines card from her No real writing inside it was just a postcard looking card not much thought into it. I on the other hand took the time to get her a real card plus a box of chocolates. I just think it should of been more thoughtful on her part. I am going to see her on the 16 of february, she I know expect roses, but what about me? I am almost gived out. I will take your advice and not be so available and see what happens. Bye Markerman Hi Markerman.... Before I respond to what you just posted, I did post something to you the other day...but it's wayyyyyy down the board so you probably didn't notice it: Try clicking on the link, if that doesn't work, the URL is below.. My response to you http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?s=&postid=40474#post40474 From all you've posted here, it surely doesn't sound like your relationship is much of a two-way street. Sounds like you do ALL the giving, and compromising and planning and paying. That doesn't seem fair to me. You previously mentioned that your girl has another 3 yrs of school left.....What if you two have to live apart like this for 3 more years..do you see things getting much better? I mean, if she's already taking you for granted NOW, how will things get better? Long distance relationships are extremely tough..and I think it takes two super dedicated people....both giving 100% or else it's going to be too one-sided. If I were you, I'd lessen the contact for a bit. Stop emailing her for a week....stop being 'there' when she calls. I'm not suggesting you 'play games' but maybe you're just 'too available'? Yeah, it would probably be a really good idea to have a good talk with her in February....this doesn't sound like a very rewarding, fulfilling, satisfying relationship for you. You deserve so much more........particularly someone who's on the same wavelength as you. Surely there are nice women who live in your own city.....would make for a much better relationship. Laurynn Link to post Share on other sites
WGirl Posted January 28, 2001 Share Posted January 28, 2001 I think long distance relationships are hard to maintain. How far of a distance do you live from each other and how often do you get to see her? The longest anyone I have dated has lived is an hour drive and even that was pain sometimes. Maybe when you go down to see your girlfriend in Feb, explain to her how you feel and see if things change. If they don't, then maybe it is time to move on and find someone closer. Hi, this is Markerman again, I am involved in a long distance relationship.The challenges I am now facing is I don't feel important or appreciated as much as I did early on in the relationship. When my girlfriend and I first met. We used to spend alot of time online chatting as thats who we met, and now its hard to get an E-mail from her. Its not that I expect it, it just would be nice,if I send her one to get a response back. I told her I appreciate her e-mails and they mean alot to be to recieve them. Another thing that bothers me is I am usually up really early in the morning for work, but I usually am up late to hear from her, as I look forward to this time, to talk to her, she does not usually return the favor, which is upseting, when I make an effort. Everyday I make an effort to show my love to her, either in an e-mail or phone call. I feel like I am being taken for granted sometimes, I have explained the other challenges I am facing with her in earlier messages. I have thought about breaking it off with her.as I think I deserve more than I am currently getting out of this. I am going down in February to see her, should I lay out all my cards on the table and tell her how I feel, Or should I just break it off with her. I do love her, I just don't feel appreciated or important. Bye thanks Markerman. Link to post Share on other sites
fishbilb Posted January 29, 2001 Share Posted January 29, 2001 Hi Markerman.... Before I respond to what you just posted, I did post something to you the other day...but it's wayyyyyy down the board so you probably didn't notice it: Try clicking on the link, if that doesn't work, the URL is below.. My response to you http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?s=&postid=40474#post40474 From all you've posted here, it surely doesn't sound like your relationship is much of a two-way street. Sounds like you do ALL the giving, and compromising and planning and paying. That doesn't seem fair to me. You previously mentioned that your girl has another 3 yrs of school left.....What if you two have to live apart like this for 3 more years..do you see things getting much better? I mean, if she's already taking you for granted NOW, how will things get better? Long distance relationships are extremely tough..and I think it takes two super dedicated people....both giving 100% or else it's going to be too one-sided. If I were you, I'd lessen the contact for a bit. Stop emailing her for a week....stop being 'there' when she calls. I'm not suggesting you 'play games' but maybe you're just 'too available'? Yeah, it would probably be a really good idea to have a good talk with her in February....this doesn't sound like a very rewarding, fulfilling, satisfying relationship for you. You deserve so much more........particularly someone who's on the same wavelength as you. Surely there are nice women who live in your own city.....would make for a much better relationship. Laurynn Listen to Laurynn. She seems to be a very wise woman. Link to post Share on other sites
fishbulb Posted January 29, 2001 Share Posted January 29, 2001 thanks, for your response to my situation, I do feel alot of time like its a one way street alot of the time. I know that Money isn't the most important thing but I recieved what resembled a post card for a valentines card from her No real writing inside it was just a postcard looking card not much thought into it. I on the other hand took the time to get her a real card plus a box of chocolates. I just think it should of been more thoughtful on her part. I am going to see her on the 16 of february, she I know expect roses, but what about me? I am almost gived out. I will take your advice and not be so available and see what happens. Bye Markerman I did the same thing at Christmas. I set my own expectations way up there, on myself as well as her. And sure as Hell, when the romance of the holiday failed to light the fires of intimacy (in all it's forms), and I threw my balls out there on the table hoping this grand outpouring of emotion would somehow make all the 'little things' just disappear, it ONLY MADE THINGS WORSE. If she is feeling uneasy about the relationship, then a postcard would be a hint, considering the 'holiday'. I also think people's expectations get unfairly raised over any 'holiday', but that's mostly an aggressive medias' and a desparate, confused publics' fault, and it's each of our choice whether we buy into it or not. A dozen roses on Valentine's Day will not fix a relationship that's already in trouble. Give and take doesn't mean you give and she takes. How will you feel when she throws you the next crumb? Appreciated or still hungry? How do you WANT to feel? Fishbulb Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts