Zoot Posted January 14, 2005 Share Posted January 14, 2005 They, the other couple, wanted a film made and he oblidged. I don't see the big deal here. He didn't ask you to watch or participate. In addition, he told you afterwards. He didn't have to - but he did. Personally, I'd tell him I would prefer him NOT to do that sort of thing in the future and let it go. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Myz_Heavenly Posted January 14, 2005 Author Share Posted January 14, 2005 Originally posted by Zoot Personally, I'd tell him I would prefer him NOT to do that sort of thing in the future and let it go. I told him my feelings, and he said he realized how irrational his action was for our marriage. He SAID it won't happen again. Thanxs all! Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted January 14, 2005 Share Posted January 14, 2005 So it would be perfectly fine for you if your girlfriend took her clothes off, sat on the bed with her legs spread open and masturbated while a male friend of hers was taping her and you were not there? Um. It's not even remotely the same. It's not the HUSBAND who had the sex on film. It's not even the husband's female friend (now there I would disagree with doing it). It was the husband's MALE friend with a girlfriend of his. So husband had no involvement with the girl at all and certainly wasn't nude, masturbating, and being filmed. Link to post Share on other sites
Adunaphel Posted January 14, 2005 Share Posted January 14, 2005 Originally posted by moimeme Um. It's not even remotely the same. It's not the HUSBAND who had the sex on film. It's not even the husband's female friend (now there I would disagree with doing it). It was the husband's MALE friend with a girlfriend of his. So husband had no involvement with the girl at all and certainly wasn't nude, masturbating, and being filmed. I did not mean to compare such a situation with the one Myz_Heavenly's husband was in. They would be *very* different situations (even if the husband _did_ know the girl who was having sex with his friend) I made up such an example in the context "watching real people engage in sexual activities does not equal watching a porn flick". Of course this is just my (very personal) opinion, but when it is *real* people you know in *real* life, I think that "just watching" and "just being watched" are equally bad. Originally posted by Myz_Heavenly I told him my feelings, and he said he realized how irrational his action was for our marriage. He SAID it won't happen again. This is very good news Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted January 14, 2005 Share Posted January 14, 2005 Originally posted by Myz_Heavenly This is it in a nutshell: my husband did a friend a favor and taped him having sex with another girl. My husband asked me afterwards would I mind. I was so shocked, I said whatever. How should I feel? Well first of all he should have asked you before actually doing IT!!!!!!!! I personally would have been so pissed!!!! Ask him how would he feel if you did something like that and to top it off you did not even ask him until you had already done it!!!!! Ugghhh men can be so insensitive sometimes!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted January 14, 2005 Share Posted January 14, 2005 Please note, the original taping violated the Policy of Joint Agreement (see <URL removed> for an explanation). So yes, your husband should not have done it. Every time he does something he knows or suspects you do not or would not enthusiastically agree to, he is making a withdrawal from your "Love Bank". If he does not offset these with equivalent or larger deposits, then your love for him will be worn away over time. He will become less and less necessary to you. Out of love, if I were you, I would make him aware of this fact. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Myz_Heavenly Posted January 15, 2005 Author Share Posted January 15, 2005 Originally posted by SoleMate Please note, the original taping violated the Policy of Joint Agreement (see <URL removed> for an explanation). So yes, your husband should not have done it. Every time he does something he knows or suspects you do not or would not enthusiastically agree to, he is making a withdrawal from your "Love Bank". If he does not offset these with equivalent or larger deposits, then your love for him will be worn away over time. He will become less and less necessary to you. Out of love, if I were you, I would make him aware of this fact. I wholeheartedly agree with that, andnhopefully it won't happen again. Maybe I need to make him aware of the Policy of Joint Agreement. I like that... Link to post Share on other sites
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