LDR = Expensive!!

[soccerrprp]

Ldr's are not beneficial for men. People in ldr's tend to cheat a lot. If I were you, I wouldn't so it, there are so many women out there.

 

Always remind yourself, there will always, always be a woman out there that can make you more happy, than the one you are with now. Even if you don't agree with this statement, it might help you one day.

 

Good luck.

 

Yikes, I admit that it's not for everyone and risky, but it has nothing to do with being a man or woman.

 

Committed people in LDR are less likely to cheat. The biggest problem with LDR in my mind is the lack of planning and expectations that people have for it. I thought I would NEVER get into a LDR, but am in one now. I told my gf that I would not be in one unless we see each other at least once a month and if one moves (I will be moving) it will not happen until there's an escalation in our commitment for one another. If I don't ask her to marry me by the summer, I am not moving up to her and the LDR needs to be reexamined. We are not interested in continuing to date one another LT. We have certain deadlines. We have a plan. This is why, for me, the LDR is going well and is acceptable. We see the light at the end of the tunnel and we are very serious about one another.

 

Even non-LDR are a risk. Have a plan. Be committed and don't half-ass it.

[theothersully]

An update. I have to go to Miami for a couple months on short notice.

 

So... several problems solved!!

 

I will fly her there (a little less expensive, warm).

 

Still, expense is something i hadn't considered with a ldr.

 

And good god... i have this one coming to see me, the Miami one turning her whole approach around, saying she is, "ready now and can't wait to see me down there", a third one in s fl who just got a hold of me randomly and says "let's meet up , i want to do some body shots with you" .....

 

This is going to get very confusing, very quickly. No idea what just happened. But, I think I like the ldr one best. She is the most down to earth and genuine.

 

All way younger though. 19, 22, 20. It's a weird life post divorce. Wouldn't mind sending a biography to the ex though. lol

Edited February 1, 2014 by theothersully

[FitChick]

Very young and very FERTILE. Hope you've had a vasectomy. They are seeing dollar signs with you paying for them to stay home with a kid.

[theothersully]

Very young and very FERTILE. Hope you've had a vasectomy. They are seeing dollar signs with you paying for them to stay home with a kid.

 

Lolol.

 

So far so good. Knocking on wood....

 

Never got a single girl pregnant in my life. Scared to death of that. ha ha ha

 

One is a dollar sign type, one is attracted to my personality - likes spending time with me and one just thinks I'm hot.

 

Either way, no kids for me... and no marriage for quite some time. Just got done with one of those!

[Els]

Wait, you're having multiple girls at a time? Does the girl who's flying down to see you know about this?

[theothersully]

Wait, you're having multiple girls at a time? Does the girl who's flying down to see you know about this?

 

I'm not exclusive with anyone yet and as of a couple days ago, I did not have all of these girls at this level of interest.

 

I had the Miami girl, on and off for about a year now. Really not enjoying her on/off, hot/cold, push/pull tactics. She is 100% games, but always around, getting me excited, then pulling back. Just 2 days ago when she found out I'm going to be in Miami for a couple of months, she told me she is "ready now" and wants to see me a lot while I'm there. This is after the ldr one was set to fly to nyc. That took me by surprise.

 

The ldr one is someone who i have spent 2 weeks with, total, enjoying every minute of it. She is a really good person and has genuine feelings. She is a sweetheart. I really like her. Can't wait to see her. She is the one I am most interested in. My priority. But, it is still dating. I am not yet sure how we will click now that our mutual feelings are in the open and we are doing this long distance thing.

 

Lastly! just yesterday, a third girl i knew from south fl last year randomly texts me,says how she misses me, says she loves how I am always so much fun and that she wants to see me and do "body shots"

 

I am like whoa!

 

Too much. I am not exclusive with anyone, but I'd like to be. I do not enjoy juggling different love interests. I prefer one, solid relationship. But, i am dating here and hoping it works out with the ldr one. She fits everything on my long list of requirements. 1) Good person, 2) Which I am attracted to. End of list. ha ha ha

[FitChick]

Either way, no kids for me... and no marriage for quite some time. Just got done with one of those!

So why haven't you had a vasectomy? Helluva lot cheaper than paying to raise a kid for eighteen years. You must not be very good at math. Or maybe you are a scaredy cat when it comes to doctors. Be a man!

[justwhoiam]

So why haven't you had a vasectomy? Helluva lot cheaper than paying to raise a kid for eighteen years. You must not be very good at math. Or maybe you are a scaredy cat when it comes to doctors. Be a man!

Vasectomies are 99.85% successful (talking about avoiding pregnancies), which means you're not 100% safe anyway. Plus, some men experience chronic pain in the testicles afterwards. So I guess they would regret it for life. That said, who would then want a family with a sterile old man? Unless it's for some fun, but apparently, that's not what he's looking for.

[theothersully]

So why haven't you had a vasectomy? Helluva lot cheaper than paying to raise a kid for eighteen years. You must not be very good at math. Or maybe you are a scaredy cat when it comes to doctors. Be a man!

 

Unnecessary surgery?

 

I'm good.

 

Made it about 30 years so far without incident. Don't really see the point.

 

Plus, until std/sti testing, no vaginal sex without a condom. Sucks, but best to play safe when it comes to dating, imo.

 

When something is real, then I will cross the contraception bridge to have unprotected sex.

 

Vasectomy and sticking it in random people = bacterial stds, herpes or death. I'm good on that risk.

Edited February 1, 2014 by theothersully

[FitChick]

When something is real, then I will cross the contraception bridge to have unprotected sex.

I thought you said you didn't want kids?

[FitChick]

Vasectomies are 99.85% successful (talking about avoiding pregnancies), which means you're not 100% safe anyway. Plus, some men experience chronic pain in the testicles afterwards. So I guess they would regret it for life. That said, who would then want a family with a sterile old man? Unless it's for some fun, but apparently, that's not what he's looking for.

Oh please. Don't tell me you are one of the "I use the pull out method" crusaders. You know, the ones with all the kids?

 

If vasectomies were as terrible as you seem to believe, they wouldn't be so popular. Did you know that sterilization is the number one form of birth control amongst educated, upper income people? Every man I've dated in the past twenty years has had a vasectomy and they all said if they knew it was going to be that easy they'd have done it sooner.

[theothersully]

I thought you said you didn't want kids?

 

Huh?

 

I don't.

 

So my partner and I, assuming I get one I'm serious with, will decide on contraception when that time comes.

 

I appreciate your amazing faith in my ability to land a new long term partner, but aren't we getting a little far down the road here with this contraception talk?

 

I need to date these girls and probably more still after these. I don't even know if any will turn into regular relationships. I think it is a bit early to decide on no condom contraception. For instance, one might have that shot. Or some iud. Or whatever. That conversation is best left between the two people having the unprotected sex, right?

Edited February 2, 2014 by theothersully

[theothersully]

Oh please. Don't tell me you are one of the "I use the pull out method" crusaders. You know, the ones with all the kids?

 

If vasectomies were as terrible as you seem to believe, they wouldn't be so popular. Did you know that sterilization is the number one form of birth control amongst educated, upper income people? Every man I've dated in the past twenty years has had a vasectomy and they all said if they knew it was going to be that easy they'd have done it sooner.

 

That method has worked for me my entire life. Ex wife couldn't take birth control with her psychiatric meds. In 10 years of that, we never had a kid.

 

Works just fine if you have control.

 

I can go 6 hours and not shoot if I want. In fact, I prefer very, very long sessions.

 

You just have to know how to control it. Not all that hard.

[TMichaels]

I appreciate your amazing faith in my ability to land a new long term partner, but aren't we getting a little far down the road here with this contraception talk?

 

I need to date these girls and probably more still after these. I don't even know if any will turn into regular relationships.assuming I get one I'm serious with, will decide on contraception when that time comes. I think it is a bit early to decide on no condom contraception.

 

Hmmm.... Really?

 

I had a crush on this girl last year and we went our separate ways after some magical times together... and hooking up.

 

Unfortunately, zygotes don't distinguish between "hook-ups" and "regular relationships" no matter how skilled or knowledgeable you may consider yourself to be.

 

Since you're so concerned with the cost of everything, do a "price check" on the going rate of terminating a pregnancy, supporting a child, or a box of condoms.

 

But something tells me your ego couldn't be bothered. No wonder you're dating women in and barely out of their teens.

 

 

Best,

TMichaels

[theothersully]

Hmmm.... Really?

 

 

 

Unfortunately, zygotes don't distinguish between "hook-ups" and "regular relationships" no matter how skilled or knowledgeable you may consider yourself to be.

 

Since you're so concerned with the cost of everything, do a "price check" on the going rate of terminating a pregnancy, supporting a child, or a box of condoms.

 

But something tells me your ego couldn't be bothered. No wonder you're dating women in and barely out of their teens.

 

 

Best,

TMichaels

 

 

 

Wow... have you people never used condoms in your lives???

 

Did you never have sex ed?

 

Guess what?? When I use a condom, along with not catching potential a std/sti, THE GIRL ALSO WILL NOT GET PREGNANT!!!??!!

 

Please do yourself a favor and learn some basic sexual health facts.

 

How this thread about long distance relationships turned into a bunch of clowns who don't understand what a condom is baffles me.

 

Tmichaels.... you're just jealous?

 

And psst.... it is cheaper to terminate a pregnancy than to buy any form of birth control, given the number of pregnancies vs times you buy birth control. It is just not a smart or ethical way to do it,.

 

Mods.... do we have rules for keeping threads on topic?

 

Why do I get so many dimwits in my threads? Jealousy, i suppose.

Edited February 2, 2014 by theothersully

[Els]

I'm not exclusive with anyone yet and as of a couple days ago, I did not have all of these girls at this level of interest.

 

I had the Miami girl, on and off for about a year now. Really not enjoying her on/off, hot/cold, push/pull tactics. She is 100% games, but always around, getting me excited, then pulling back. Just 2 days ago when she found out I'm going to be in Miami for a couple of months, she told me she is "ready now" and wants to see me a lot while I'm there. This is after the ldr one was set to fly to nyc. That took me by surprise.

 

The ldr one is someone who i have spent 2 weeks with, total, enjoying every minute of it. She is a really good person and has genuine feelings. She is a sweetheart. I really like her. Can't wait to see her. She is the one I am most interested in. My priority. But, it is still dating. I am not yet sure how we will click now that our mutual feelings are in the open and we are doing this long distance thing.

 

Lastly! just yesterday, a third girl i knew from south fl last year randomly texts me,says how she misses me, says she loves how I am always so much fun and that she wants to see me and do "body shots"

 

I am like whoa!

 

Too much. I am not exclusive with anyone, but I'd like to be. I do not enjoy juggling different love interests. I prefer one, solid relationship. But, i am dating here and hoping it works out with the ldr one. She fits everything on my long list of requirements. 1) Good person, 2) Which I am attracted to. End of list. ha ha ha

 

Ah, okay, interesting. I'm just curious, because if someone is flying out that far to meet you, chances are she's already pretty invested in you.

 

But if you've made it clear that things are still casual for the time being then it's all good.

[justwhoiam]

Multiple dating at once: I'd make sure everyone knows about that, so that they can see what to do for themselves.

 

Back on topic: is it expensive? Yes.

Can you cut down on expenses? Yes.

Is it worth it? That depends on your views about life.

Does multiple LD dating work? Usually not.

[theothersully]

Ah, okay, interesting. I'm just curious, because if someone is flying out that far to meet you, chances are she's already pretty invested in you.

 

But if you've made it clear that things are still casual for the time being then it's all good.

 

Some free time today.

 

Just wrapping this thread up. The ldd (long distance dating?) girl was fantastic. Spent a wonderful weekend in the Keys, then South Beach. We are now dating/whatever it's called. She is moving to my area soon and we will open a business together.