Guys, ever test a girl for being a user?

[Mascara]

Why do you think he cares if she's a gold digger or not?? That's only relevant if you're looking for a relationship, and at 18 I doubt he is. Most wealthy 18 year olds, looking to get laid, are happy to spend the cash. I seriously doubt he's going to say "this girl is really hot, she'll let me sleep with her, but I'd rather sleep with someone less hot who doesn't want me to buy her an expensive dinner"

 

He's simply clueless. It wasn't a "test".

[Woggle]

Women test men all the time so nothing wrong with the other way around. I just take first dates to a cheap hole in the wall place and if they protest they are not the one for me.

[lino]

Champion, on and off the field.

 

I've never been used for money but I've been used for other things such as attention, sex and my kind nature. Don't know how to test for those users other than let time go by and see how it goes.

 

Always nice to see how uptight female posters get about money issues. Says a lot about where their priorities lie.

 

Can imagine the slapper that girl would've been!

[Mascara]

To me, it's no different to a 25 year old guy going after a hot 18 year old for her body. If people feel the need to "test" others, then do what this kid did if you're a man. And if you're a woman, dress scruffily with no make up and hold out on sex. That'll soon weed out users of BOTH genders.

 

Some men like hot young women only for their bodies. Some women only like rich men for their money. It's been like that since the beginning of time, and the two usually find each other.

[Els]

Damn, am I the only one here who actually LIKES Nandos? It's so much better than other fast food chains!

 

Seriously, I don't see anything wrong with going somewhere cheap on a date if the other person likes the place. But yeah, tell them ahead of time so they don't get all dressed up like the girl did. Showing up at Nandos with a fancy dress and heels must've been weird.

[Emilia]

What a classic story!

 

Plebby footballer with no class turning up in a tracksuit (I like Nando's too!) and some gold digger selling the story to a newspaper! :laugh:

 

A dime a dozen, they deserve each other hahaha

[Els]

Adnan Januzaj gets free Nando's after date tells all - | FOX Soccer Blog | FOX Soccer on MSN | FOX Sports on MSN

 

Manchester United footballer did the gold digger test rather well. Id say the kid is right and better off. Its cool to see a young lad be smart about love and money. He knows at a young age that many young girls will be after him solely based on his job and cash.

 

So fellas....ever do this? Got a story to share?

 

Also, the gold-digger spin on this story seems a little baffling. The article only says the dude chose Nandos and she didn't like it. It didn't mention anything about it being on purpose or a test - the dude is 19, maybe he just wanted to go to Nandos?

 

I guess it just strikes me as strange how some of the guys here are so very concerned about being 'gold-dug'. I can understand why a ManUtd footballer might be concerned, but I really doubt most of the guys on LS are going to be the targets of genuine gold-diggers. No offense intended...

[Chocolat]

I don't care if a guy picks a low- or no-cost date option, but I don't think I'd have enjoyed the date presented here. Not because of where they went or who paid but because the guy's attitude was no more attractive than that of the gold-digger he was supposedly routing out.

[kaylan]

Why do you think he cares if she's a gold digger or not?? That's only relevant if you're looking for a relationship, and at 18 I doubt he is. Most wealthy 18 year olds, looking to get laid, are happy to spend the cash. I seriously doubt he's going to say "this girl is really hot, she'll let me sleep with her, but I'd rather sleep with someone less hot who doesn't want me to buy her an expensive dinner"

 

He's simply clueless. It wasn't a "test".

Do you follow football? More than a few footballers have been with the same woman since their teen days at academy. And btw, the kid is a practicing muslim. The young muslims I knew in college weren't running around trying to get laid. They had a bit more self control than other people I knew. That isn't to say none of them ever let loose and had their fun...but they weren't as concerned with partying and sex as the average teen.

Adnan = lad .

 

Needs to stop diving though.

true on both accounts

I will say this Kaylan... I'm always a little amused to see what some guy's definition of a 'user' is.

 

 

A guy spends a few $$ on dinner, and she's a user.

 

 

I'm more concerned about people who 'use' me for other things. My body and/or my time, for one.

 

 

I dunno... seems like small potatoes in comparison to the things lots of guys routinely 'use' women for.

Id call a girl a user if shes more concerned about what Im spending, rather than being concerned about getting to know me. And if I was a famous footballer, that's even more reason for me to be suspicious. Let the lil princess take her expectations elsewhere. Adnan will be better off. Shes a grown woman trying too mooch off of a teenage kid. Come on now.

 

There are some WAGs who were with their footballer bf/husband back when he was broke and had nothing. The kid needs to find a loyal chick like that. Too many opportunists out there.

Edited January 28, 2014 by kaylan

[kaylan]

Damn, am I the only one here who actually LIKES Nandos? It's so much better than other fast food chains!

 

Seriously, I don't see anything wrong with going somewhere cheap on a date if the other person likes the place. But yeah, tell them ahead of time so they don't get all dressed up like the girl did. Showing up at Nandos with a fancy dress and heels must've been weird.

Shes a grown ass woman with loads more dating experience than the kid whos been using most of his young life playing football. We know why she decided to date him. I could bet my life that she wouldn't have gone out with him if he were a non-rich, non-famous, 18 yr old.

 

Id rip a 25 yr old man with dating experience for chasing teenagers as well. So the other poster shouldn't even try to spin this. Grown men and women need to let kids be kids and take their user behavior elsewhere.

Also, the gold-digger spin on this story seems a little baffling. The article only says the dude chose Nandos and she didn't like it. It didn't mention anything about it being on purpose or a test - the dude is 19, maybe he just wanted to go to Nandos?

 

I guess it just strikes me as strange how some of the guys here are so very concerned about being 'gold-dug'. I can understand why a ManUtd footballer might be concerned, but I really doubt most of the guys on LS are going to be the targets of genuine gold-diggers. No offense intended...

If you've never dated women, you wouldn't understand how some girls are quick to try and use a guy for his money.

 

When I was 19, I had a good friend at the time who was 17. I was very into her, and eventually our relationship became physical. One night after she came over, she decided she wanted to head back home...and all of a sudden realized she didn't have cab fare (I didn't have a car back then). So she wanted me to spot her 20 bucks.

 

Low and behold she magically finds her money, after all the searching she did, only after I told her I didn't have cash on me. This is but one example of when shes pulled the "I cant find my money" crap. And it wasn't like I never treated her when we went out either. I was just smart enough not to fall for her bs. And before anyone goes doubting my story...all of her true bs came to light once we had our final falling out. The chick was always a user...be it physical, monetary, or regarding other things. You should of seen her behavior with other dudes she dated.

Edited January 28, 2014 by kaylan

[Mascara]

Everything you're saying is just as relevant to men only dating a woman because she's hot. No, she wouldn't have gone out with him if he were a non-rich non-famous footballer. Just like he wouldn't have gone out with her if she'd been 200lbs with spots and an overbite.

[carhill]

So fellas....ever do this? Got a story to share?

 

Not rich enough to do a gold-digger test and I can't recall ever consciously enacting 'tests' for women I dated or was in relationships with. Communication and confrontation, yeah, sure. Guile and deceit? Not really. Perhaps I should have taken a more quid pro quo perspective to the relationship arena and been more successful as a result. Hard to know. Can't compare myself in any cogent way to a pro footballer.

[kaylan]

Everything you're saying is just as relevant to men only dating a woman because she's hot. No, she wouldn't have gone out with him if he were a non-rich non-famous footballer. Just like he wouldn't have gone out with her if she'd been 200lbs with spots and an overbite.

I get so sick of this bull-crap. Money =/= looks.

 

Why is it whenever threads like this come up, people of the opposite gender try to equate non equitable things? Its like when women whine about guys being picky about weight, and then in comes a guy whining "women do it too...look at the height issue"

 

Stop trying to derail things with non-equitable arguments. We aren't talking about men who date women just for their looks. We are talking about a kid seemingly sniffing out a grown up gold digger.

 

Again, money =/= looks. Nice try though. You act as if women don't date men solely based on physical attraction. It happens a lot. So stay on topic and stop trying to shift things.

 

A woman worrying about being dated for her looks isn't the same as a man worrying about being dated for his money. Wanna know why? Because guys can be dated on their looks alone too...and its rare that a guy dates a woman just for her money.

 

And before you call bs on me...Ive had girls date me or fvk me just because they wanted to test the interracial waters. Yet me ever being a serious option was not in the cards. Its not much different from how some guys have girls they screw, and girls they see as gf material.

[samsungxoxo]

While that girl indeed sounds like a golddigger and I agree that type needs to be avoided, the guy is a jerk too so both of them are people I wouldn't like to associate with.

 

The first date doesn't have to be elegant nor anything over the top but if he's doing the asking out, there is nothing wrong with a coffee shop at the very least. I'm sorry but I'm getting the feeling some men are going overboard with the whole ''testing her'' thing and going out of their way of not even trying at all. IMO both of them failed the test.

[kiss_andmakeup]

While I agree she seems less than a prize, I feel a guy would have to be pretty obtuse to need a "test" like this.

 

My first date with my fiancé was a few beers apiece at a local pub. Tab was maybe $25, and I tried to pay my share (although he refused my repeated offers). It wasn't a fancy restaurant and champagne, but it also wasn't fast food and sneakers. There's a whole lot of gray area between the two, and those of us who aren't millionaire celebrities (and who have a relatively decent capacity for reading the character of others) will probably be fine sticking within that middle ground.

Edited January 28, 2014 by kiss_andmakeup

[GorillaTheater]

My wife snagged me when I was young, broke, and with no clear direction in life, so I never had the occasion to "test".

 

It seems kind of pointless, anyways. As others have pointed out, it's pretty easy to suss out motivations over time.

[Mascara]

It's totally equitable. You regularly post about this kind of thing. You seem terrified about it. So no, I won't stop posting about what is a perfectly similar analogy just because you seem to think its only men who get used. One of the best ways of making people realise that this "testing" is probably not a good idea for them to do is to understand that BOTH genders suffer this, to compare the equal and opposite view.

 

I will never defend women OR men who go only for status. And I will discuss why I think that on a public forum.

[kaylan]

It's totally equitable. You regularly post about this kind of thing. You seem terrified about it. So no, I won't stop posting about what is a perfectly similar analogy just because you seem to think its only men who get used. One of the best ways of making people realise that this "testing" is probably not a good idea for them to do is to understand that BOTH genders suffer this, to compare the equal and opposite view.

 

I will never defend women OR men who go only for status. And I will discuss why I think that on a public forum.

Why would I not post about an issue that's real for men? I also post about women using black men for sex but not wanting to date us long term. I don't see people like you saying *****t when that comes up. I wonder why

 

Again, looks =/= money. End of story.

[acrosstheuniverse]

I think she was a fool for not clarifying where the date was going to be. I see no issue in going to Nando's for a first date, but she should have clarified the location so that she knew what to wear.

 

I judged a guy I met online when on our third coffee date at the cash register he told the barista we were splitting (so he paid for his latte and muffin, and then I paid for my own drink). I always offer, I like taking turns just fine, but it seems VERY tight to split a single order for the sake of £2. If we're gonna split then surely he or I can get the first couple drinks and then the other person the second. I didn't go on another date with him because it struck me as SO stingy.

 

I'm kinda weird maybe but when I'm dating someone, I do like it when the guy pays for the first date meal (if that's what we do, I'll happily go for coffee or just hang out at the park instead), and I'll get drinks or desserts or whatever, but from then onwards I don't care what happens with that stuff. I don't see why he should have to pay every time we go out. The guy I've been seeing for a few dates recently paid for our meal the first time we went out to eat (third meetup) so I bought him a bottle of wine on the way back to mine to drink (I didn't need any myself as I had my own favourite drink at home).

 

Personally I'd rather we just hung out at one of our house's now, or go out for a couple of drinks, and cook for each other. It's hard to keep my hands off him in a restaurant I definitely don't want or expect a string of paid-for dates before I will view someone as a serious candidate. It's the little things like going round and the guy has bought in my favourite drink and some popcorn for the movie or takes the time to do something I'll really appreciate (like digging out one of my favourite albums on vinyl so we can listen to it together).

 

None of that makes much sense actually, reading back.

[kaylan]

Let me follow up my last post.

 

Again, looks =/= money. End of story. Both happen to men, and rarely do both happen to women. Its a much rarer circumstance to have a man use a woman for money. And no, looks and money aren't similar analogies. At least when one is used for looks or sex, we know the other person at least is attracted to them. With money, that many times will not be the case.

 

Its ridiculous that threads can never exist here without the trumpet blaring from the "it happens to men/women too" crowd. Stop trying to thread jack because youre unable to see things from a male viewpoint. When there are very large groups of men using women for money, then maybe you can trumpet your ish.

[Emilia]

Again, looks =/= money. End of story. Both happen to men, and rarely do both happen to women. Its a much rarer circumstance to have a man use a woman for money.

I think with the growing trend of age-gap relationships (older women with younger men) this is changing.

 

Like the others said, no need to test, just keep your eyes open. Testing people scares the sane ones off.

 

By the way, this wasn't about that, the footballer is genuinely a clueless pleb. there was nothing intentional on his part, he just has no class.

[kaylan]

lastly,

 

Jeez, I don't run up in threads where women are upset about male expectations regarding looks or sex, and say "men have it bad too...women use them for money and have money expectations" Why don't I do this? Because I know what it feels like to be judged on my looks or money. Its two very different feelings of value or lack of value. Why do people always try and pull this crap? Cant a man or woman post a thread anymore without people trying to equate things down the middle?

 

Sure men and women both have dating troubles, but they don't have equal dating issues. Men and women are not the same and people should stop acting like they are.

I think with the growing trend of age-gap relationships (older women with younger men) this is changing.

 

Like the others said, no need to test, just keep your eyes open. Testing people scares the sane ones off.

 

By the way, this wasn't about that, the footballer is genuinely a clueless pleb. there was nothing intentional on his part, he just has no class.

But you wouldn't know what was or wasn't intentional. If I was him, I wouldn't go out of my way to try and impress an older gold digger either. And its obvious she got paid off for her story...so its not hard to see who is after money.

Edited January 28, 2014 by kaylan

[Janesays]

Why would I not post about an issue that's real for men?.

 

This is NOT a real issue for men. This is an issue that is only real for RICH men. Less than 1% of the entire male population.

 

I don't get why shmucks who manage a kinkos for 40K a year seriously think they are in danger of gold diggers. They have no gold to dig! They are safe! Gold diggers a typically go after men with millions who can buy them new cars on v-day, jet off to France for a week end holiday, and have them basically swimming in diamonds and furs.

 

No woman in the world is going to give up her youth, her fidelity, her child bearing years and dedicate her life to having sex with a man she doesn't love and is not attracted to....for a couple of free dinners at Applebee's.

 

If that's all you have to offer and a woman is still sleeping with you, trust me, she has some real loving feelings towards you.

Edited January 28, 2014 by Janesays

[kaylan]

This is NOT a real issue for men. This is an issue that is only real for RICH men. Less than 1% of the entire male population.

 

I don't get why shmucks who manage a kinkos for 40K a year seriously think they are in danger of gold diggers. They have no gold to dig! They are safe! Gold diggers a typically go after men with millions who can buy them new cars on v-day, jet off to France for a week end holiday, and have them basically swimming in diamonds and furs.

 

No woman in the world is going to give up her youth, her fidelity, her child bearing years and dedicate her life to having sex with a man she doesn't love and is not attracted to....for a couple of free dinners at Applebee's.

 

If that's all you have to offer and a woman is still sleeping with you, trust me, she has some real loving feelings towards you.

Did you ignore my post about what happened to me at 19?

 

Or should I tell you about my brother falling in love at 22, and having a girl burn him for 6k when he was making less than 30k at the time? He learned a lot from that experience, and I learned a lot from seeing what happened to him. I cant believe how ignorant and naïve you are. You really have NO idea what a lot of men deal with, nor how a lot of women behave. To see your brother get used and cry over some classless loser female hurts. Yet...to you, of course that couldn't happen to some poor bloke who makes a meager, yet honest wage.

 

Yeah, it only happens to rich men Meanwhile I see guys with barely any money, get used by women with less (and sometimes more) money than them. These women have given up the sex in order to get taken out and receive gifts. Doesn't matter if the guy earns 50k or 500k, it happens to men of all social classes.

 

You women are fvking ridiculous I swear. TRY DATING WOMEN AND THEN TALK TO US GUYS ABOUT WHAT WEVE SEEN AND DEAL WITH. Plenty of women from all financial backgrounds, will try and size a guy up, and use his money, despite his background. It happens across all social strata. Stop trying to dismiss reality.

 

PS - Don't speak for other women. Ive read, seen and experienced enough to know that women sleep with men for a variety of reasons. And plenty give up their youth for stupid reasons too.

Edited January 28, 2014 by kaylan

[Janesays]

Did you ignore my post about what happened to me at 19?

 

Or should I tell you about my brother falling in love at 22, and having a girl burn him for 6k when he was making less than 30k at the time?

 

Yeah, it only happens to rich men

 

Ohhh, 6K! What biiiiggggg cash! I bet all the golddiggers were just crawling out of the woodwork for a shot at that fat stack!

 

Please.

 

A real gold digger wouldnt spit on you for 6K.

 

Just because someone failed to repay a loan, doesn't mean they sucked a penis specifically for the money. Again, if she was dating a man who only made 30K at the time, she had REAL feelings for him. Unfortunately, she just didn't have the character or work ethic to pay him back. Neither does my brother, who, by the way, has burned me for significantly for more than 6K. Just because he sucks with money doesn't mean he doesn't love me though.

 

As for your other example, even a low class hooker will sell her kitty for more than $20. The fact that you got all worked up about that minor bit of cash says more about you than her. Ive dropped more than that in the cups of homeless men.