Guys, ever test a girl for being a user?

[kaylan]

I'm not talking about that. I'm taking about YOU. I imagine you to be that guy who goes out on a date and immediately starts on about all their terrible dating experiences.

Lmao, not at all. Ive had women pull that lameness though haha. Don't be so naïve. Just because I feel free to discuss dating issues on an public forum does NOT mean that's the first thing I bring up on dates. Don't even try that lol

At some point, you have to ask yourself, if it's so hard, what can YOU do to fix the situation? Instead of blaming everyone else?

Lmao, you must have missed my other thread. I already know how to fix things. Its by not taking BS anymore and being a little more self serving. Don't make this thread about me now when it isn't.

 

Ive never had gold digger problems really tbh. I sniff em out just fine, and have my fun with them and bounce. Or they bounce when they realize Im not gonna be spending mucho cash on em. Lets keep the thread on topic. About how some guys may test chicks for gold digging.

 

I generally just test em with regular conversation. I could easily gauge a chick by taking her out for coffee and bringing up the news, like this story for example in the OP.

[pickflicker]

Lmao, not at all. Ive had women pull that lameness though haha. Don't be so naïve. Just because I feel free to discuss dating issues on an public forum does NOT mean that's the first thing I bring up on dates. Don't even try that lol

 

Lmao, you must have missed my other thread. I already know how to fix things. Its by not taking BS anymore and being a little more self serving. Don't make this thread about me now when it isn't.

 

Ive never had gold digger problems really tbh. I sniff em out just fine, and have my fun with them and bounce. Or they bounce when they realize Im not gonna be spending mucho cash on em. Lets keep the thread on topic. About how some guys may test chicks for gold digging.

 

I generally just test em with regular conversation. I could easily gauge a chick by taking her out for coffee and bringing up the news, like this story for example in the OP.

 

I think Castle put it best. If you're smart enough, people will reveal their motivations without you having to 'test' them. And bringing up this kind of story on a date? Hmmm...ok.

[kaylan]

I think Castle put it best. If you're smart enough, people will reveal their motivations without you having to 'test' them. And bringing up this kind of story on a date? Hmmm...ok.

Pop culture stories come up on dates all the time. Don't be silly.

 

Plus Im a football (soccer) fan, so the kind of girls I tend to like wouldn't find soccer conversations to be odd.

[pickflicker]

Pop culture stories come up on dates all the time. Don't be silly.

 

Plus Im a football (soccer) fan, so the kind of girls I tend to like wouldn't find soccer conversations to be odd.

 

They come up because the people find them interesting. You're bringing it up with the specific goal of testing her response.

 

It doesn't make it ok. It just makes you disingenuous. You'll find life is a lot more fun when you don't live under such a veil of cynicism.

 

Anyway, like you said, you're just looking for more blokes to slap you on the back and say "Good job, sir!" I'll bow out. There are better threads.

[Keenly]

I don't know if I'm reading this correctly, but bringing up a topic of interest to gauge a dates reaction is not being disingenuous.

[kaylan]

They come up because the people find them interesting. You're bringing it up with the specific goal of testing her response.

 

It doesn't make it ok. It just makes you disingenuous. You'll find life is a lot more fun when you don't live under such a veil of cynicism.

 

Anyway, like you said, you're just looking for more blokes to slap you on the back and say "Good job, sir!" I'll bow out. There are better threads.

Men and women do this all the time, and good on them for weeding out incompatibility on the early stages.

[MissBee]

Women test men all the time about many things so what is so wrong with men doing that? Are we not allowed to do anything to prevent being taken for a sucker?

 

Gold digging is similiar to crime. In the criminal world you have stick up kids who rob the corner store and then you have people who pull off sophisticated heists. Gold digging is the same. You have the low level ones who use the coworker who crushes on her for rides and then you the ones who target rich and famous people. I am doing well for myself now and I noticed when I started getting money women who used to reject all of a sudden had interest. Why shouldn't men weed these types out?

 

Name a test a woman has given you?

 

In any case I don't care what "women" as some random group do or "men", I don't test people and I am not gonna date someone testing me.

 

What that man did was a stupid test...it can in no way prevent gold digging as I said, as that is something revealed with time and all you gotta do is keep your eyes and ears open to see if you're being played. Having someone drive you around and going to a fast food restaurant is not at all preventing anything, as as I said, that will not deter a gold digger.

 

You can weed people out, that's what dating is for, but doing ridiculous and faulty "tests" are not good ways to do that is the point. That's like me wearing a chastity belt or telling a man I am as a "test" to see if he will continue to date me or if he's only in it for sex....it's stupid...as what reaction will show he isn't? Over time people reveal themselves...a man would be an idiot to think that he has come up with a fool proof way to stop gold diggers by doing what he just did. He isn't stopping gold diggers, he's also stopping normal self-respecting women from liking him. He needs to get over himself.

[MissBee]

Men and women do this all the time, and good on them for weeding out incompatibility on the early stages.

 

Indeed, if after a first date a man did that and/or announced I past his test, we would be incompatible and I wouldn't bother to date him after that.

 

So in the end it all works out actually.

 

As he is well-suited for someone who would accept his behavior and those that don't, won't want him anyway.

[Envy_rodge]

How does this guy sound like a jerk? Why would a man spend money on a woman? If he was a nice guy she would absolutely take full advantage of the situation.

 

Good thing he is smart and filtered this girl out. He's famous and has money, he has a lot of choices.

[Envy_rodge]

Indeed, if after a first date a man did that and/or announced I past his test, we would be incompatible and I wouldn't bother to date him after that.

 

So in the end it all works out actually.

 

As he is well-suited for someone who would accept his behavior and those that don't, won't want him anyway.

 

You never tell her your testing her. Why would you do that? I just let her wonder what I'm thinking.

 

Uncertainty combined with attraction will create emotional attachment.

[Keenly]

Name a test a woman has given you?

 

.

 

Is this a real question ?

 

I have one " babe, is that girl on TV pretty ? "

 

" does this dress make me look fat? "

[Envy_rodge]

Name a test a woman has given you?

 

In any case I don't care what "women" as some random group do or "men", I don't test people and I am not gonna date someone testing me.

 

What that man did was a stupid test...it can in no way prevent gold digging as I said, as that is something revealed with time and all you gotta do is keep your eyes and ears open to see if you're being played. Having someone drive you around and going to a fast food restaurant is not at all preventing anything, as as I said, that will not deter a gold digger.

 

You can weed people out, that's what dating is for, but doing ridiculous and faulty "tests" are not good ways to do that is the point. That's like me wearing a chastity belt or telling a man I am as a "test" to see if he will continue to date me or if he's only in it for sex....it's stupid...as what reaction will show he isn't? Over time people reveal themselves...a man would be an idiot to think that he has come up with a fool proof way to stop gold diggers by doing what he just did. He isn't stopping gold diggers, he's also stopping normal self-respecting women from liking him. He needs to get over himself.

 

Women test men for emotional weakness all the time, in many different ways.

 

This is how it works. Men who are emotionally easy, are the equivalent to women who are sexually easy.

 

Experienced men avoid having anything more than a ons, or fwb situation with sexually easy women, just like women will only use nice guys to benefit themselves, with out fulfilling his needs.

[Woggle]

The initial dating stage is all about testing. Most women audition men so I have auditioned women. I am happily married but she was damn good or else I would not have married her. If you look closely enough you can see a woman's true colors.

[Yamaha]

I've been used for money and I'm not rich. Just a normal guy with a pretty decent job.

The gal even admitted to using me after I called her on it. She told me she used me because she wanted to learn how it felt to use somebody. I liked her, as she had a fun personality, but you can't ignore things even if you like the person.

If it feels like your being used its usually because you are!

 

It also makes you question how you could like someone who, without remorse, can just take advantage of you. There must be something wrong with your picker that you liked someone who used you. Took me quite awhile before I could trust someone's motives and let them in!

[kaylan]

Indeed, if after a first date a man did that and/or announced I past his test, we would be incompatible and I wouldn't bother to date him after that.

 

So in the end it all works out actually.

 

As he is well-suited for someone who would accept his behavior and those that don't, won't want him anyway.

We all test. End of story. Funny how many women dislike what the guy in the story did...yet many women are quiet when girls do the fake purse reach test when offering to chip in for a date lol. When that test comes up, its ok because theyre testing to see if hes a "gentleman" lmao

[kaylan]

I've been used for money and I'm not rich. Just a normal guy with a pretty decent job.

The gal even admitted to using me after I called her on it. She told me she used me because she wanted to learn how it felt to use somebody. I liked her, as she had a fun personality, but you can't ignore things even if you like the person.

If it feels like your being used its usually because you are!

 

It also makes you question how you could like someone who, without remorse, can just take advantage of you. There must be something wrong with your picker that you liked someone who used you. Took me quite awhile before I could trust someone's motives and let them in!

...but...but...but

 

its not gold digging if the guy isnt rich (female logic from this thread)

 

/sarcasm

[joystickd]

I think it's fine.

 

 

Although, fast food shows zero creativity and no effort. Actually, to me, even an expensive restaurant is lazy for a guy with lots of cash.

 

 

He could have shown genuine interest in his date without dropping a dime.

Convenient response

[janedoe67]

If I really liked someone I'd be fine with a McChicken on the dollar menu. 1,000 years ago when I was dating, if my BF was strapped, I'd cook for us. Big money was never on my radar.

 

That said, considering the financial distress, lost jobs, lengthy unemployment while gaming, etc. in my 20 years marriage, maybe I SHOULD have cared a bit more, at least about work ethic and ambition.....

 

Regardless of whether this guy was a jerk, she didn't show much class when she sold her story to the media.

[Pompeii]

I will say this Kaylan... I'm always a little amused to see what some guy's definition of a 'user' is.

 

 

A guy spends a few $$ on dinner, and she's a user.

 

 

I'm more concerned about people who 'use' me for other things. My body and/or my time, for one.

 

 

I dunno... seems like small potatoes in comparison to the things lots of guys routinely 'use' women for.

 

I don't know if you realize, but money (or lack thereof) is serious business.

[Els]

But you wouldn't know what was or wasn't intentional. If I was him, I wouldn't go out of my way to try and impress an older gold digger either. And its obvious she got paid off for her story...so its not hard to see who is after money.

 

Yes, this is about what YOU perceived when you read the article. Which says a lot about what's going on in your head.

 

Frankly, most normal people without a load of baggage or a chip on their shoulder, would not read more into the story than what it actually is - a kid who probably likes Nandos and doesn't really know or care whether it is appropriate for a date.

[Els]

 

No woman in the world is going to give up her youth, her fidelity, her child bearing years and dedicate her life to having sex with a man she doesn't love and is not attracted to....for a couple of free dinners at Applebee's.

 

For real.

 

For anyone to think otherwise is just delusional, and probably an attempt at denial as to the real reasons their dating life was going less than spectacularly.

[kaylan]

Yes, this is about what YOU perceived when you read the article. Which says a lot about what's going on in your head.

 

Frankly, most normal people without a load of baggage or a chip on their shoulder, would not read more into the story than what it actually is - a kid who probably likes Nandos and doesn't really know or care whether it is appropriate for a date.

Well considering the girl got paid off to bad mouth the kid in the press, its easy to see why most people view her the way I do. It was all over social media.

[Els]

Well considering the girl got paid off to bad mouth the kid in the press, its easy to see why most people view her the way I do. It was all over social media.

 

YOUR social media, which says a lot about the people you associate with. I am fairly active on social media and have not seen it.

 

Frankly, tabloids are going to latch on to any juicy gossip about anyone famous. This is no different from the millions of articles in women's mags about who is dating who and what crap went on during their date.

[samsungxoxo]

We all test. End of story. Funny how many women dislike what the guy in the story did...yet many women are quiet when girls do the fake purse reach test when offering to chip in for a date lol. When that test comes up, its ok because theyre testing to see if hes a "gentleman" lmao

You did posted this and wanted everyone's opinions. Not everyone is going to 100% agree with you. That's part of being a human.

 

BTW I wouldn't want to deal with neither the girl nor guy in the story. Both of them are a waste of time to me; the girl for giving us a bad reputation and the guy for playing that test and being a fake (sounds like both are fakes after all). I'm sorry to hear you weren't happy to hear what others have to say and expected a ''You're right, you go bro'' reply.

Edited January 29, 2014 by samsungxoxo

[kaylan]

YOUR social media, which says a lot about the people you associate with. I am fairly active on social media and have not seen it.

 

Frankly, tabloids are going to latch on to any juicy gossip about anyone famous. This is no different from the millions of articles in women's mags about who is dating who and what crap went on during their date.

Not "my" social media. Social media, and footballing forums in general. Basically the general population sees the woman for what she is. A failed opportunist.

You did posted this and wanted everyone's opinions. Not everyone is going to 100% agree with you. That's part of being a human.

 

BTW I wouldn't want to deal with neither the girl nor guy in the story. Both of them are a waste of time to me; the girl for giving us a bad reputation and the guy for playing that test and being a fake (sounds like both are fakes after all). I'm sorry to hear you weren't happy to hear what others have to say and expected a ''You're right, you go bro'' reply.

I dont mind differing opinions. The thread only went bad when another poster basically insulted my brothers salary and minimized a painful experience he went through.