Els Posted January 29, 2014 Share Posted January 29, 2014 Okay, I think I am going to try a bit of a different tack here. Yes, there are men and women who are users. Of course there are. And the woman in the article may well be one, regardless of whether she was outed accidentally or on purpose. Heck, the footballer himself might be one as well - he might have sex with a girl while making sweet promises to her and then never call her again. We don't know. What we do know, is that immediately spinning this thread into a 'gold-digger women' thing reveals much more about the mentality of the people who did so, than that of anyone else. Kaylan, I used to like your posts, but you seem to have spiralled deeper and deeper down into paranoia about being used. I get that you had a bad experience with a user, but you can't let that tear you down your entire life. Yes, there are other men who face the same paranoia and fears as you, but that does not make it okay. If you only listen to them and not anyone else, they will eventually bring you down along with them. I know many men who make far, far more than $40k/year. Most of them are not as paranoid as the men here about being used. Because they have faith in their ability to discern a genuine partner who loves them for the whole package, from a user who only wants one thing. People's motivations are usually revealed with time and some discernment. It is far better to learn how to read them, than it is to cling on to petty tests and games and fear. I am not going to say anything more here; I think everything that I want to say has already been said. I do hope that you think about this though. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ThatMan Posted January 29, 2014 Share Posted January 29, 2014 So I was looking forward to learning new ways to identify users... But then I stepped into the twilight zone. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted January 29, 2014 Share Posted January 29, 2014 So I was looking forward to learning new ways to identify users... But then I stepped into the twilight zone. Really? I can answer that for you: Common sense and maturity. That's really all there is to it. If you have neither, no 'new ways' are going to help you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kaylan Posted January 29, 2014 Author Share Posted January 29, 2014 Okay, I think I am going to try a bit of a different tack here. Yes, there are men and women who are users. Of course there are. And the woman in the article may well be one, regardless of whether she was outed accidentally or on purpose. Heck, the footballer himself might be one as well - he might have sex with a girl while making sweet promises to her and then never call her again. We don't know. What we do know, is that immediately spinning this thread into a 'gold-digger women' thing reveals much more about the mentality of the people who did so, than that of anyone else. Kaylan, I used to like your posts, but you seem to have spiralled deeper and deeper down into paranoia about being used. I get that you had a bad experience with a user, but you can't let that tear you down your entire life. Yes, there are other men who face the same paranoia and fears as you, but that does not make it okay. If you only listen to them and not anyone else, they will eventually bring you down along with them. I know many men who make far, far more than $40k/year. Most of them are not as paranoid as the men here about being used. Because they have faith in their ability to discern a genuine partner who loves them for the whole package, from a user who only wants one thing. People's motivations are usually revealed with time and some discernment. It is far better to learn how to read them, than it is to cling on to petty tests and games and fear. I am not going to say anything more here; I think everything that I want to say has already been said. I do hope that you think about this though.Maybe you missed my thread on how Ive discovered the reality of how people really are. Its smart to be cautious once you consider how self serving many people are. Link to post Share on other sites
kenneth1010 Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 (edited) As a "proper" football fan i feel i must defend this "kid". He was a relative unknown until this current season, now playing for one of the worlds biggest football clubs. If he hadn't performed like he has done this season, his contract might have ran out and he may have found himself without a club at all at the end of this season. Instead he had found himself thrust into the spotlight. An 18 yr kid who has seen his wage go from £1,000 a week to anywhere between £20,000-£60,000 a week, thanks to his new contract. He is a star in the making, his talent is there for all to see. Back to the "test", I doubt he realised he was testing her, she failed it anyway if that was the case. There are many girls in the UK hoping to bed a footballer, many footballers do indeed sleep with them, they do not care. Adnan has gone up in my estimation. Cant believe i am defending a United player, Liverpool fan here Edited January 30, 2014 by kenneth1010 Link to post Share on other sites
MrStinky Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 At the same time a lot of women are going to be after him simply because of his name/fame/lifestyle. At the same time if she enjoyed his company and didn't care about his wealth then that's all that should matter from the date. Absolutely it was a test by him. I think it would be better of for such a person who was a little paranoid about any potential wife's motives, to maybe find someone (ideally not a local) who had no idea who he was...to begin with. Exactly. A meal is a meal. Why does it have to be expensive because he has money? She's not dating the food he buys -- she is dating him. So enjoy him and not what he can do for you Link to post Share on other sites
MrStinky Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 "No woman in the world is going to give up her youth, her fidelity, her child bearing years and dedicate her life to having sex with a man she doesn't love and is not attracted to....for a couple of free dinners at Applebee's." You really are naive. That is what the c0ck carousel is. Look it up Link to post Share on other sites
Lady2163 Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 I'm female, but I do test to see if the guy is a user. It has been years, but I had three boyfriends in a row get money out of me. Shock....they ended the relationship soon after. In all three instances, I had to get the courts involved. I had saved my money all year...it never crossed my mind when I mentioned I had $3500 to spend on Christmas presents and how great it was going to be. I was planning a weekend getaway for us, a new computer and spoiling my family. I never thiught he would show up the next day with a cockamamie story on how to turn my $3500 into $6000 in two months. So, yes...now I do test, but not on the first date. I've casually mentioned I have some extra money ($1500) and how about a weekend away together - usually I suggest Vegas? I'm not going to give the exact number, because it is really depressing...but none of them have passed that test. They always seem to have a much better idea of how that money should be spent. I did tell the last one it was a test - after he thought I should buy him an iPad. Link to post Share on other sites
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