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Is this male friend delusional?

ShiningMoon

By ShiningMoon,
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ShiningMoon

ShiningMoon

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So I recently reconnected with an old friend I stopped talking to like 5 years ago. I never was interested in him romantically and I'll never be. He's just not attractive to me at all. He's just a friend, and will always been seen as such.

 

Anyway, I know he now has a girlfriend but I really couldn't care less since I have no romantic feelings or attraction towards him.

 

Last night, we went for dinner to catch up, and it was pretty cool. We talked about our lives and I told him about my messy love life (he's a friend so) and he talked about his (amongst other things)

 

Then today, he sends me a messages on FB saying : "Alright, I need to get this off my chest. I feel as though you're really interested in me and I want you to know I'd never cheat on my girlfriend. I have a girlfriend I love and she means the world to me. Besides, I find you very cute but that's all, don't get your hopes up".

 

I was like WOW. What? This guys is full or himself isn't he? Alright, so you have dinner with a friend who happens to be a girl and you immediately assume she likes you? What's wrong with him? I told him from the get go it was a friendly dinner before we even went out.

 

This man is slightly delusional. Then, he started saying stuff like "I think if I were single, I'd probably want to be FWB (since we laughed about these types of relationships during dinner) but I'm not single so I want you to know it's a dead end if you're thinking about this".

 

Huh, like dude, if I wanted to find an FWB, I wouldn't bother reconnecting with someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years. There are plenty of men. Jeez. I'm not that ugly, I can find a hookup pretty easily.

 

Should I cut him off or what?

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GorillaTheater

GorillaTheater

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He might be delusional, but more than likely he just misinterpreted the situation. One possibility is that his gf found out about the "date" and he sent the message with a metaphorical gun to his head.

 

But yeah, regardless of the reasoning, I'd say this friendship has run its course.

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ShiningMoon

ShiningMoon

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It wasn't a date ;) We paid separately and I told him it wasn't a date. This situation is confusing, honestly. I wanted to reconnect with old friends and I ended up in this messy situation. Like seriously, can't a girl and a guy be friends?

 

His girlfriend knew about our dinner since he old her beforehand. Apparently, she was not too happy about it. Lord, I wonder what kind of person comes to this kind of conclusion after a simple dinner! If he starts acting this weird, than I might as well cut him off, I don't want any drama in my life and he's already dramatizing the situation.

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CC12

CC12

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I'd cut him off.

 

He was just way too weird about it. It was like he was trying to rub it in that you couldn't have him. I was also put off that he felt the need to mention that he'd still totally **** ya if he was single (wouldn't have you as a girlfriend, though, even though you're "really interested" in him.)

 

I guess it's also possible that the girlfriend wrote those things or that he wrote them for her benefit, but still, that's too much drama for me. I'd be out.

 

I'd tell him, "I do not find you attractive and have never been interested in you romantically. I was happy to reestablish a friendship with you, but you've somehow gotten the wrong idea, so I think it's best if we part ways again. Have a nice life."

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gaius

gaius

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Some guys have this hilarious move where when they sense rejection they go out of their way to reject the woman first. Even if the thought of sleeping with him is revolting to her. Makes me laugh whenever I see it.

 

A lot of guys seem to warp situations into whatever best feeds their needs actually. I remember vertical posted a thread a while back about how a guy who hadn't even made a move on her spun this tale to a new girl about how vertical had wronged him in the love department. She bought it hook line and sinker and raging at vertical on behalf of her new boyfriend became one of the corner stones of their relationship. :laugh:

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Emilia

Emilia

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This man is slightly delusional. Then, he started saying stuff like "I think if I were single, I'd probably want to be FWB (since we laughed about these types of relationships during dinner) but I'm not single so I want you to know it's a dead end if you're thinking about this".

What a great friend to say stuff like this :rolleyes:

 

Time to cut him loose.

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Emilia

Emilia

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going to dinner with a guy alone, regardless of who pays for what, is a date - whether you want to admit it or not.

Not at all. I go for dinner with guys one on one for various reasons. Not often I admit but it happens.

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Elias33

Elias33

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Cut him off and be glad he wasn't interested in a romantic relationship with you. The guy may be a bit full of himself, but that's better than low self esteem. Good for him, and good for you. It's not like you wanted a relationship in the first place. Being full of himself is more his issue than it is yours.

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GG3

GG3

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I think I would ask what I said or did specifically that made him think you were hitting on him before cutting him off. My guess is you weren't flirting with him since you don't find him attractive. I would try to make him feel like a fool before stopping communication or ending the friendship. He needs to be brought back down to earth. Lol.

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preraph

preraph

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Oh, he's a piece of work alright. He's been waiting a long time to get himself in a position to reject you in order to save face and get the upper hand. Write him that you have never been interested in anything more than friendship with him and that you're afraid he's the one who is misinterpreting things. Then tell him good luck and send him packing. Don't hang around for more of this BS.

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Kizmet Fisher

Kizmet Fisher

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So I recently reconnected with an old friend I stopped talking to like 5 years ago. I never was interested in him romantically and I'll never be. He's just not attractive to me at all. He's just a friend, and will always been seen as such.

 

Anyway, I know he now has a girlfriend but I really couldn't care less since I have no romantic feelings or attraction towards him.

 

Last night, we went for dinner to catch up, and it was pretty cool. We talked about our lives and I told him about my messy love life (he's a friend so) and he talked about his (amongst other things)

 

Then today, he sends me a messages on FB saying : "Alright, I need to get this off my chest. I feel as though you're really interested in me and I want you to know I'd never cheat on my girlfriend. I have a girlfriend I love and she means the world to me. Besides, I find you very cute but that's all, don't get your hopes up".

 

I was like WOW. What? This guys is full or himself isn't he? Alright, so you have dinner with a friend who happens to be a girl and you immediately assume she likes you? What's wrong with him? I told him from the get go it was a friendly dinner before we even went out.

 

This man is slightly delusional. Then, he started saying stuff like "I think if I were single, I'd probably want to be FWB (since we laughed about these types of relationships during dinner) but I'm not single so I want you to know it's a dead end if you're thinking about this".

 

Huh, like dude, if I wanted to find an FWB, I wouldn't bother reconnecting with someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years. There are plenty of men. Jeez. I'm not that ugly, I can find a hookup pretty easily.

 

Should I cut him off or what?

 

This is the part where you reply to him, apologising for giving him that impression and explaining that you didn't even think about coming off that way, that it had felt refreshing to have a guy friend who felt like 'one of the girls'.

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whichwayisup

whichwayisup

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Then today, he sends me a messages on FB saying : "Alright, I need to get this off my chest. I feel as though you're really interested in me and I want you to know I'd never cheat on my girlfriend. I have a girlfriend I love and she means the world to me. Besides, I find you very cute but that's all, don't get your hopes up".

Who reached out first after 5 years? Did you contact him? If so, then that is why he's feeling like maybe you're into him.

 

To me, all it seems he's doing is setting boundaries in your friendship with him.

 

Though I need to ask, if you did reach out to him after 5 years, what made you decide to do that?

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whichwayisup

whichwayisup

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It wasn't a date ;) We paid separately and I told him it wasn't a date. This situation is confusing, honestly. I wanted to reconnect with old friends and I ended up in this messy situation. Like seriously, can't a girl and a guy be friends?

 

His girlfriend knew about our dinner since he old her beforehand. Apparently, she was not too happy about it. Lord, I wonder what kind of person comes to this kind of conclusion after a simple dinner! If he starts acting this weird, than I might as well cut him off, I don't want any drama in my life and he's already dramatizing the situation.

 

Now reading this, he obviously mistook your intentions.

 

Why didn't he bring his gf along?

 

Just let this so called friendship fade away...no need to 'end it' and add to the drama of it.

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