Parenting concerns

[MotherBear]

Any parents out there will be able to relate with me when i say we all have fears about our children. Especially in this world with social networking.

I recently brought an app to install on my daughters phone, I think it's great as I don't need to invade her privacy as it has filters which i can set so i only see the things that could be worrying.

 

I also use it in case she is late from school as i can geo track where she is. It also puts my mind at rest in case something awful did happen to her or if she got her phone stolen as I will be able to track her.

 

I think it's a great way to help protect your children and my daughter knows it's on her phone, but some of my friends I have told didn't agree with it and I'm just wondering what you other parents think? Am i wrong to do this? I don't feel guilty as I have the filters on so i'm not having to read all her private conversation and snoop through I only see the things that I have flagged like words or places or certain activity.

 

I'd really appreciate your feedback.

[Janesays]

I think the media makes parents paranoid and overly involved in their kid's lives. Especially if you consider the actual statistics show that crimes against children are lower now than they were when I was growing up in the late 80s/early 90s. And back then it wasn't uncommon to push your 6 year old out the door in the morning and say, "see ya when the streetlights come on."

 

So even though the world is statistically SAFER now for children than it was then, we still feel like teenagers can't be trusted without blatantly spying on them. Why is that?

 

Someday you are going to have to learn to trust your kid and your parenting skills. I mean, do you want to raise a successful well rounded adult or a perpetual child who will always need protecting.

[AmberWalander]

We are all entitled to our different opinions and I think you chose the right thing to do, especially if your daughter is still a minor. It is only normal to worry about your daughter's safety and it is a good thing that you have asked her permission first before installing the app. It means she trusts and she has nothing to hide.

[Keenly]

You think this app is great.

 

I think its helicopter parenting.

 

People will never agree, but its YOUR kid, so do what you gotta do.

[MotherBear]

At the end of the day I don't snoop through her messages I just see the messages with more risky conversation. Statistics say your child won't tell you even if you have great communication if she is in trouble or being bullied. This way she doesn't have to feel awkward telling me. And I can look after her. Yes, many may misuse the app and stalk there children. But i'm not I have morals and self control.

[Janesays]

It's your kid. Do what you want. You don't have to justify your parenting decisions to any of us. *shrug

[Silly_Girl]

Having had my privacy breached as a teenager I could never, ever do such a thing. I talk to my son regularly about forums and Facebook and bullying and other social aspects. He has to know and understand that for himself, to develop judgement and boundaries. He's had a mobile phone since 5 yrs old and Internet of his own for many years.

 

I even don't go on to forums I know my son uses, I offered him that privacy and he took me up on it. As a mother I'm DESPERATE to know what he's saying/feeling etc but his rights as his own person trump mine.

 

The only way I'd consider something like that is if I felt my child was lacking in some social awareness or ability and was significantly less mature than their peers and I felt I needed to protect them.

[DaisyLeigh1967]

I will do whatever to keep my kids safe. My two older sons have Facebook and email accounts. On the condition that I have the passwords. Do I check them daily? Heck no.

 

Both my older boys are on the Autism Spectrum. Therefore, I have to protect them and watch because they don't have good social cues and can be manipulated easily. My youngest is not, but he is not allowed on Facebook. I do monitor his internet usage. He only goes online where we can see what he is doing. No biggie.

[turnera]

I had no problem installing monitoring software on DD's computer after she did something risky. I checked it every month or two, for about a year, and then uninstalled it. She was about 16 at the time.

 

Generally, though, I have no problem taking steps to know what's going on in a child's life who is under my care. As long as I'm not abusing that knowledge, I feel I'm doing her AND me a favor by being the adult in the group and watching out for things she's not mentally/developmentally yet capable of looking out for.