Author clairedunham Posted March 7, 2014 Author Share Posted March 7, 2014 If I dont have hope, who's going to do it for me. If you love someone you fight for them, no? Link to post Share on other sites
Own Worst Enemy Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 And I get that. We've all been there. But he will never ever come back if you keep this up. It's not fighting for someone who loves you; it's a refusal to accept what he is telling you, and making a doormat out of yourself. Don't read subtexts into what he says - just take what he is telling you at face value. You have to cut him off. If he wants you, he will realise it and come after you. If he doesn't, then he was never going to, so screw him. And if you doubt that, ask yourself how it is going to feel when he tells you he has met someone else. You don't want to hear that. Ignorance is truly bliss! Let yourself heal. Move on. You only have one life. This ain't living it, chick. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Lernaean_Hydra Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 If I dont have hope, who's going to do it for me. If you love someone you fight for them, no? There's hope and then there's madness. And no, not everyone is worth fighting for and this guy definitely isn't. I notice you said you had a 'mild case of schizophrenia". Have you been formerly diagnosed and if so, are you currently receiving any kind of treatment? I ask this because it definitely seems like you're losing touch with reality again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author clairedunham Posted March 7, 2014 Author Share Posted March 7, 2014 And I get that. We've all been there. But he will never ever come back if you keep this up. It's not fighting for someone who loves you; it's a refusal to accept what he is telling you, and making a doormat out of yourself. Don't read subtexts into what he says - just take what he is telling you at face value. You have to cut him off. If he wants you, he will realise it and come after you. If he doesn't, then he was never going to, so screw him. And if you doubt that, ask yourself how it is going to feel when he tells you he has met someone else. You don't want to hear that. Ignorance is truly bliss! Let yourself heal. Move on. You only have one life. This ain't living it, chick. I do lack it. I do lack control. Tell me this. I'm going to a new psychologist because, well, I need help. My ex tells me he would go with me to a meeting to discuss things. I mean, he is like yo-yoing me to another level. He says he doesn't know if we will ever get back together and at times has let me believe he really doesnt care anymore. Then I ask him if he would like to go to a meeting and he says yes. Also, he was the one that on Valentines Day sugegsts that I need to get a psychologist and he is going with me. WhY?! wHY! WHY?! Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 If I dont have hope, who's going to do it for me. If you love someone you fight for them, no? You fight for someone in a relationship, not once it is over. How much longer are you going to put yourself through this? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 Your fighting is misplaced. You should fight for yourself, whether with psychologist or not, but no matter what you do it has to be without him. Throw your phone, eat the tickets, whatever just go full NC. Otherwise everything will be in vain and sooner or later you will post here how much it hurts you to see your ex with another girl. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 Ouch... Man I feel bad for everything I did to him. I have a mild case of schizophrenia. I used to lose touch with reality and be paranoid. I had a very dark dark phase but I'm not insane you know. I feel like if I don't do something now I'm gonna lose him. Still I have to go NC. You already lost him. I mean, a year out and you still are in denial of the fact that you broke up. Major red flaggage right there. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Own Worst Enemy Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 Help. Either way, it is not something you do as a precursor to getting back together. You need to cut him off and show him you can cope alone and cope well. By the time he comes around to see how, you won't care about him any more! Link to post Share on other sites
Author clairedunham Posted March 7, 2014 Author Share Posted March 7, 2014 You already lost him. I mean, a year out and you still are in denial of the fact that you broke up. Major red flaggage right there. A year? What you talking about a year? I've only been broken up with him for a few months. Like 2 months or so but we talked everyday until now where it is fading. He called me new years and said how he was thankful for having me in his life etc etc. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 A year? What you talking about a year? I've only been broken up with him for a few months. Like 2 months or so but we talked everyday until now where it is fading. He called me new years and said how he was thankful for having me in his life etc etc. Ok, not a year (not sure where I got that from), but you were posting about this guy in August. That's a little more than two months. Either way, you need to stop talking to this guy and you need to realize that this is over. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author clairedunham Posted March 7, 2014 Author Share Posted March 7, 2014 Ok, not a year (not sure where I got that from), but you were posting about this guy in August. That's a little more than two months. Either way, you need to stop talking to this guy and you need to realize that this is over. Because he had broken up with me (2 weeks) because of my erratic jealous behavior and telling me he didn't love me only to come back and say he did love me and only tells me he doesn't love me because if he did tell me he loved me I'll take it for granted and not change and take it as a safety guard. He had and still has his own financial and family problems. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 Because he had broken up with me (2 weeks) because of my erratic jealous behavior and telling me he didn't love me only to come back and say he did love me and only tells me he doesn't love me because if he did tell me he loved me I'll take it for granted and not change and take it as a safety guard. He had and still has his own financial and family problems. I don't care about the details -- your problem is that you keep using the details as a reason for being a doormat, a wuss, a bootlicker with no self-respect. Only one thing matters -- he broke up with you and does not want a relationship with you. It's time for you to give him what he wants and stop talking to him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author clairedunham Posted March 7, 2014 Author Share Posted March 7, 2014 I don't care about the details -- your problem is that you keep using the details as a reason for being a doormat, a wuss, a bootlicker with no self-respect. Only one thing matters -- he broke up with you and does not want a relationship with you. It's time for you to give him what he wants and stop talking to him. Fine...... Link to post Share on other sites
LostConfused123 Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 You fight for someone in a relationship, not once it is over. How much longer are you going to put yourself through this? This. You deserve to be happy Claire! Best of luck! Link to post Share on other sites
iDrumKing Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 Fine...... No need for the attitude. We're all trying to help you, but you keep bringing up "buts" and "becauses." Are you looking for help or to defend your actions? I know it's hard, but do your best to cut him out. Forget this "concert" 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author clairedunham Posted March 7, 2014 Author Share Posted March 7, 2014 No need for the attitude. We're all trying to help you, but you keep bringing up "buts" and "becauses." Are you looking for help or to defend your actions? I know it's hard, but do your best to cut him out. Forget this "concert" I only put ellipsis because it wouldn't let me post 'fine' alone Link to post Share on other sites
LauBee20 Posted March 8, 2014 Share Posted March 8, 2014 If I dont have hope, who's going to do it for me. If you love someone you fight for them, no? I learned my lesson on "fighting". There is no sense of fighting for something when only one person is doing the fighting. It's like going to war but the other side doesn't show up, and you just fire away at nothing. You're launching missiles onto empty fields. I am in a bad situation myself, my boyfriend told me all the things that make you warm and fuzzy inside. He came crawling back to me after a split last year and moved in. One week ago he moved out, leaving me firing the heavy artillery at nothing. I fought for him and he looked at me and left. I started NC with him yesterday and while it's been a struggle and hours feel like days, I realized you can't fight, you can't plead, or beg, and lose your dignity. We don;t fight wars when there is no one to fight. Remember that. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
LauBee20 Posted March 8, 2014 Share Posted March 8, 2014 P.S. We had tickets for a concert that happened last night. I went with someone else Link to post Share on other sites
Author clairedunham Posted March 13, 2014 Author Share Posted March 13, 2014 So I asked him if he still has feelings and he said yes So I asked him if he feels guilty (because he calls me everyday) and he says he doesn't because he didn't do anything wrong and he did the right thing nor does he pity me He calls me everyday to talk and we do for like an hour or 2 hours then he calls me later and so on. Thing is I want to be his friend but I don't know if that is the right thing to do if I want him back. I have not begged and pleaded nor anything. We just talk as friends. Am I heading for the friend zone? Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted March 13, 2014 Share Posted March 13, 2014 So I asked him if he still has feelings and he said yes So I asked him if he feels guilty (because he calls me everyday) and he says he doesn't because he didn't do anything wrong and he did the right thing nor does he pity me He calls me everyday to talk and we do for like an hour or 2 hours then he calls me later and so on. Thing is I want to be his friend but I don't know if that is the right thing to do if I want him back. I have not begged and pleaded nor anything. We just talk as friends. Am I heading for the friend zone? If he is calling you every day and not in a relationship....then you are already in the friendzone. Sure, he can say he has feelings, but if he really wanted to be with you, he would. Therefore, take it for what its worth. If you want to be his friend, then keep doing what you're doing. Link to post Share on other sites
jphcbpa Posted March 13, 2014 Share Posted March 13, 2014 So I asked him if he still has feelings and he said yes So I asked him if he feels guilty (because he calls me everyday) and he says he doesn't because he didn't do anything wrong and he did the right thing nor does he pity me He calls me everyday to talk and we do for like an hour or 2 hours then he calls me later and so on. Thing is I want to be his friend but I don't know if that is the right thing to do if I want him back. I have not begged and pleaded nor anything. We just talk as friends. Am I heading for the friend zone? You are not in a R with him. become much less available to calls/text and start dating others now. if you are not ready to date others, then you need to go NC and heal up so you can move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author clairedunham Posted March 13, 2014 Author Share Posted March 13, 2014 Its so weird. He breaks up with me but still calls me but the rest of the people here with stories none of them get a call from their ex. It is so bittersweet. He says I have to show him and he is skeptical. He says I have to show him cause he does not want to get hurt again. Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted March 13, 2014 Share Posted March 13, 2014 Its so weird. He breaks up with me but still calls me but the rest of the people here with stories none of them get a call from their ex. It is so bittersweet. He says I have to show him and he is skeptical. He says I have to show him cause he does not want to get hurt again. Actually, loads of people get calls from there ex, especially on here. Happens a lot. You've been doing this for months now with the whole thing. So take a stand either way. Go no contact and move on (highly recommended) or try and get back with him. What youre doing now is not completing any of those two. Link to post Share on other sites
Author clairedunham Posted March 13, 2014 Author Share Posted March 13, 2014 Actually, loads of people get calls from there ex, especially on here. Happens a lot. You've been doing this for months now with the whole thing. So take a stand either way. Go no contact and move on (highly recommended) or try and get back with him. What youre doing now is not completing any of those two. How can I show him I care? Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted March 14, 2014 Share Posted March 14, 2014 How can I show him I care? More to the point, how can he show you HE does...? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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