David87 Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 But what if I can't let go for a long time? I've heard stories of woman still in love with their ex boyfriends after years. I'm just wishing I get accepted for my 2nd degree so I can start studying. There's no man that can compare to him and I will never find anybody because I just don't want to. It's normal to feel this way and it's possible that you'll love him your entire life. In time you'll accept the fact that he will be forever in your heart but not in your life, eventually you'll find another man to love. I was just like you, I thought that I will never love again, but after a couple of months I found a better girl and I loved her and that kept me focused away from my ex. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author clairedunham Posted March 26, 2014 Author Share Posted March 26, 2014 It's normal to feel this way and it's possible that you'll love him your entire life. In time you'll accept the fact that he will be forever in your heart but not in your life, eventually you'll find another man to love. I was just like you, I thought that I will never love again, but after a couple of months I found a better girl and I loved her and that kept me focused away from my ex. I'm not a big fan on relationships but this man changed my life. I even told him that if we ever broke up I would never date again or be in a r/s. That I'd be single all my life. Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 I'm not a big fan on relationships but this man changed my life. I even told him that if we ever broke up I would never date again or be in a r/s. That I'd be single all my life. Not to attack you personally, but thats the dumbest s*** I've ever heard lol. Never date again and be single all your life?!?! In what universe would that ever happen? I lot of the stories that you hear where girls are still in love with their ex boyfriends after years is because they REFUSE to let go. The REFUSE to move on. Yes, moving on is hard, but its not some unattainable goal. You have to WANT to move on. Realizing the ex will not come back is step one. You'll get there, but you have to work at it. No more emo-esque comments and get strong. You can do it Link to post Share on other sites
Author clairedunham Posted March 26, 2014 Author Share Posted March 26, 2014 Not to attack you personally, but thats the dumbest s*** I've ever heard lol. Never date again and be single all your life?!?! In what universe would that ever happen? I lot of the stories that you hear where girls are still in love with their ex boyfriends after years is because they REFUSE to let go. The REFUSE to move on. Yes, moving on is hard, but its not some unattainable goal. You have to WANT to move on. Realizing the ex will not come back is step one. You'll get there, but you have to work at it. No more emo-esque comments and get strong. You can do it what is wrong with being single all your life? Link to post Share on other sites
David87 Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 what is wrong with being single all your life? You won't be single all your life. This is just a phase in your life and it will pass. Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 what is wrong with being single all your life? Unless you want to be single all your life. That's very possible. You can live like a hermit and never open up to anyone again and die alone. You'll be okay. Link to post Share on other sites
Author clairedunham Posted March 26, 2014 Author Share Posted March 26, 2014 You won't be single all your life. This is just a phase in your life and it will pass. No, but I want ConfusedHumanBeing to answer. Why is that the dumbest thing you've ever heard? Why is being single all my life the most stupidest thing ever and how I would never date again? Link to post Share on other sites
Author clairedunham Posted March 26, 2014 Author Share Posted March 26, 2014 Unless you want to be single all your life. That's very possible. You can live like a hermit and never open up to anyone again and die alone. You'll be okay. The most promising of all relationships are friendships dude. I can still open up to people. Jesus Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 what is wrong with being single all your life? Because you're giving up one of the best things in life because you're scared. I'd you're single and genuinely happy, then have at it. But you are giving up because you're scared. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author clairedunham Posted March 26, 2014 Author Share Posted March 26, 2014 Because you're giving up one of the best things in life because you're scared. I'd you're single and genuinely happy, then have at it. But you are giving up because you're scared. You know what I learned from being in relationships is that men have to be a certain way and woman have to play this stupid role. The role of the female who gets to choose the man and has to be a certain way for the man, take care of him, nurture him and be feminine (bull****) and no matter how much a man never admits to it they all want this girlfriend mommy figure to take care of em. My boyfriend never treated me like that and also at times didn't care if I was a little tomboyish. I was a wreck (as in never wore make up) part of the relationship and it wasn't because I didnt give a **** about my body. Hell, I just didnt give a **** about make up (even though at times I like wearing it) but he'd think of me as a ****in' 10, what can I say I can call myself good looking. I'm not scared. I just found a person who accepted me from the core because we were 2 birds of a feather. So sorry if I really wanted to spend the rest of my life with that one person but dont call me stupid because I might actually be single for the rest of my life. Link to post Share on other sites
guest572 Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 Im in the same place as you at the moment OP. its been a few months but e thought of being with someone else disgusts me. I am very much in love and not ready to let go. I want to let go but i cannot. I have no advice as noone has been able to help me as yet. Just saying i know what its like. Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 (edited) You know what I learned from being in relationships is that men have to be a certain way and woman have to play this stupid role. The role of the female who gets to choose the man and has to be a certain way for the man, take care of him, nurture him and be feminine (bull****) and no matter how much a man never admits to it they all want this girlfriend mommy figure to take care of em. My boyfriend never treated me like that and also at times didn't care if I was a little tomboyish. I was a wreck (as in never wore make up) part of the relationship and it wasn't because I didnt give a **** about my body. Hell, I just didnt give a **** about make up (even though at times I like wearing it) but he'd think of me as a ****in' 10, what can I say I can call myself good looking. I'm not scared. I just found a person who accepted me from the core because we were 2 birds of a feather. So sorry if I really wanted to spend the rest of my life with that one person but dont call me stupid because I might actually be single for the rest of my life. I'm saying its stupid because there is no way youre going to be single all your life. It was to calm you down hence the lol. I wasnt calling you stupid and even said it wasnt insulting you. Take a chill and calm down. There will be other people who "accept" who you are. Yeah, you wanted to spend the rest of your life with that person, but that person doesnt want that. Wouldnt you rather be with someone who ACTUALLY does? Wouldnt that make more sense? All the things you are saying "You WERE two birds of a feather" "Wanted to spend the rest of my life..." these are the PAST. You have to LEARN to let it go. It's still early. Your opinion on what you learned are incredibly inaccurate. 7 Billion people in the world. There are different things for every person. I would HATE if my current girlfriend acted like my mom. Your ex didnt treat you as such, and there are many others who would actually treat you the same, if not better. This guy isnt the one. It sucks, but its life. You're what 25?! Unless you live in solitary confinement for the rest of your life, you WILL find someone else. You've only been able to drink alcohol legally for four years haha. You have really two options: You can continue to act like there isnt a reason to live anymore, or you can heal from this and become that much stronger in the end and ACTUALLY meet someone who is better than your ex. It happens everyday. Edited March 26, 2014 by ConfusedHumanBeing 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 You know what I learned from being in relationships is that men have to be a certain way and woman have to play this stupid role. The role of the female who gets to choose the man and has to be a certain way for the man, take care of him, nurture him and be feminine (bull****) and no matter how much a man never admits to it they all want this girlfriend mommy figure to take care of em. My boyfriend never treated me like that and also at times didn't care if I was a little tomboyish. I was a wreck (as in never wore make up) part of the relationship and it wasn't because I didnt give a **** about my body. Hell, I just didnt give a **** about make up (even though at times I like wearing it) but he'd think of me as a ****in' 10, what can I say I can call myself good looking. I'm not scared. I just found a person who accepted me from the core because we were 2 birds of a feather. So sorry if I really wanted to spend the rest of my life with that one person but dont call me stupid because I might actually be single for the rest of my life. Sweetie, that's not true. Real men, confident, strong men, want a partner. They want someone to face the world with, to stand united with. They want someone to who will nurture, because they in turn will nurture you. They will be your confidant, your defender, your anchor. And you'll be theirs. That's what a real man wants. And they're out there. Trust me - they are out there. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author clairedunham Posted March 26, 2014 Author Share Posted March 26, 2014 I'm saying its stupid because there is no way youre going to be single all your life. It was to calm you down hence the lol. I wasnt calling you stupid and even said it wasnt insulting you. Take a chill and calm down. There will be other people who "accept" who you are. Yeah, you wanted to spend the rest of your life with that person, but that person doesnt want that. Wouldnt you rather be with someone who ACTUALLY does? Wouldnt that make more sense? All the things you are saying "You WERE two birds of a feather" "Wanted to spend the rest of my life..." these are the PAST. You have to LEARN to let it go. It's still early. Your opinion on what you learned are incredibly inaccurate. 7 Billion people in the world. There are different things for every person. I would HATE if my current girlfriend acted like my mom. Your ex didnt treat you as such, and there are many others who would actually treat you the same, if not better. This guy isnt the one. It sucks, but its life. You're what 25?! Unless you live in solitary confinement for the rest of your life, you WILL find someone else. You've only been able to drink alcohol legally for four years haha. You have really two options: You can continue to act like there isnt a reason to live anymore, or you can heal from this and become that much stronger in the end and ACTUALLY meet someone who is better than your ex. It happens everyday. Actually 8 years. Where I'm from legal age is 18. I am trying to become a stronger person now for me yes. I am going to psychologist. I did yoga today. Thing is I met someone who was better than my other ex and that is my current ex. Yes I will have sex with men, yes I will date in a non serious way and have fun but I will never fall in love with another individual nor marry. Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 Actually 8 years. Where I'm from legal age is 18. I am trying to become a stronger person now for me yes. I am going to psychologist. I did yoga today. Thing is I met someone who was better than my other ex and that is my current ex. Yes I will have sex with men, yes I will date in a non serious way and have fun but I will never fall in love with another individual nor marry. That's pretty sad. Had I done that, had I given up after the last one, I wouldn't be where I am now - standing on the edge of possibility. It feels good. Every crummy relationship, every ****ty thing that happens, leads to new possibility. You're not supposed to turn your back and shut down. You're supposed to go forward. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 Actually 8 years. Where I'm from legal age is 18. I am trying to become a stronger person now for me yes. I am going to psychologist. I did yoga today. Thing is I met someone who was better than my other ex and that is my current ex. Yes I will have sex with men, yes I will date in a non serious way and have fun but I will never fall in love with another individual nor marry. I'm willing to bet my entire life savings that this will not happen. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lioness84 Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 I've cried, stalked, begged and well obviously nothing seems to work. I have no resources but to use the NC. I've suffered a lot but it is because of my own doing, though I tried to fix only to end up with cold shoulders and his "I only care about you" bull**** and that we should just be friends. Everytime I ask him if we might get back together he says he doesn't know. He tells me he doesnt love me anymore. It hurts so bad. No more calling No more texting No more anything!!! I've suffered a lot in my life and now he is just throwing me away like garbage. We wanted to be together forever. Guys are ****in scumbags!!! Dont know what they want! I agree with everyone, don't contact him anymore. Whenever you feel tempted just remember how humiliating it felt to beg and get rejected! You deserve so much more but you need to heal and you need to take care of yourself. Accept that you have done your share of wrongs and move on with it. If it's right he will contact you or he may not. I know how much it hurts because I'm going through this myself. I broke up because I can't wait around for him to make up his mind about us. I'm not gonna contact him unless he does and even if he does it will have to be for the right reasons and not because he misses me or what not. Relationships are hard sometimes we take them for granted and it all falls apart and we're then reminded how fragile our hearts are. Hang in there. If you feel like you should contact him visit the forum, I'm sure many of us here will feel the same. Take care girl. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
KaliLove Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 Claire, you're being a drama queen. Relax. There's not just one person for everyone. You're going to be just fine. You're going to meet someone else and you're going to have like 10,000 of his babies. Chill girl!!! I'm sure you're cute, sweet, and a decent person. You'll be snapped up eventually, once you're horny enough. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author clairedunham Posted April 8, 2014 Author Share Posted April 8, 2014 It has been 3 weeks NC. No calls, texts NOTHING. And neither him. I went to a concert on Sunday and saw him from my car but didn't lock eyes or anything. He saw my sister cause she told me he looked at her. I was just driving. Then after that nothing at all. My heart beated a little beat and my sister even told me I got stupid because I was just not concentrating on stuff then snapped out of it. I had a LOT! of fun in the concert though. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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