BemusedSheep Posted January 29, 2014 Share Posted January 29, 2014 I hope I'm in the right place for this, I'm new here so I don't know, but I'm in such a quandry. I had an EA with a friend who I worked with; this went on for a couple of months, then we progressed into a PA. I'm married, he isn't but he has a fiancee and a son with her. I admit that at the time I didn't care about our partners; I fell deeply in love with my workmate. He listened and encouraged me to talk about the problems I was having in my marriage. He said he loved me and had done so for ages. He wanted us to run away and live together and have children. He'd treat me like a princess. Anyway, my husband guessed something was going on and found some messages between me and my AP. Luckily I was able to convince him that it had all been talk and that nothing had actually happened, even though my AP and I had been having regular sex at his place for a while. But my AP in a fit of stupidity told his fiancee everything. Afterwards he told me that she was devastated. Physically sick. She wanted him to leave work and not have anything to do with me. I can't believe that he let her delete me from his phone, from his Facebook, from his life. I mean, he was my friend and if he wanted to stay friends with me then she shouldn't have been able to tell him not to be, right? I miss not being able to talk to him. Fast forward a year and here I am, still married to my husband and we are expecting our first baby in a couple of months. I managed to put my former AP to the back of my mind but now he's back, he's returned to work albeit in a different part of the building and we had coffee yesterday and had a catch up. He told me he is marrying his fiancee soon, he's happy about my pregnancy, he wanted me to now if I ever felt any old feelings resurfacing then to talk to him about it; nothing would happen between us but he didn't want me stressed as I'm expecting. He asked if my husband and I were still having sex as I'm pregnant, he rubbed my arm and said he'd had a couple of dreams about me. I think he cares! I can't stop thinking about him now. One of my friends who knew what happened told me that he's messing with me and to stop but I can't. I hope he cares, I hope he loves me. I don't care if his fiancee finds out, although I don't want my husband to be hurt, but I feel so happy right now!! I've got my friend back but do you think he loves me? Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted January 29, 2014 Share Posted January 29, 2014 I think he means to say he loves having sex with you. He actually asked if you're sexually active now that you're pregnant? Gross 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mukkrakker Posted January 29, 2014 Share Posted January 29, 2014 I think he cares! Yeah, he cares about getting in your pants again… ...and I'm sure you'll let him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted January 29, 2014 Share Posted January 29, 2014 So disgusting. You and your ex cheating friend....just disgusting. Link to post Share on other sites
Twernip Posted January 29, 2014 Share Posted January 29, 2014 I saw something similar happen at my place of work. The fall-out from their affair was horrible for everyone, from the colleagues that had to work in an atmosphere so frosty you could build igloos with it, to the pair of BS that were stunned, shell-shocked and broken by it. It sounds like your former AP knows how to push your buttons- but also, if you don't mind me saying, you come over as being obsessed with him, and, given that you don't care whether his girlfriend finds out, selfish. Does he care? Maybe. Does he love you? I suspect not. Should you work at being a more compassionate human being? Absolutely... Link to post Share on other sites
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