Discover Posted January 28, 2014 Share Posted January 28, 2014 Sorry to waste the time of the people that will actually read this i just need to get it out of my mind... It is day...i don't know..i think 3weeks have passed since we broke up and although i feel ok because of the fact i am occupied with studying,playing video games with my friends while talking over skype,having volleyball practises,playing the guitar and listening to music...when all that is gone...i feel soo sad...today actually i felt especially sad...when it is all silent and i go to bed i miss her sweet words of "Good night" i heard over the phone...I feel so lonely...i want to chat with someone..i don't know..i just need to stop feeling like this...right now though i think she is at a party with her friends out of town...i feel even more stupid...feels like....i need those nights in which she cared....in which she left me protect and watch over her...my god...sorry for ruining your mood guys...i just feel like Help, I need somebody, HELP not just anybody!!! I am so scared of meeting her at school, as it is going to happen if not this than the next week that it is pathetic...i am worried that it will be too normal as if our 2 years didn't exist and i will feel something towards her again and i will break down....Maybe it is stupid...but every now and then i ask one of my few friends to slap me really hard so i don't lose my face and try to suck it up and stop crying within.... I am so lonely and sad...right now...yesterday..today...i don't know about tomorrow...i just am scared of breaking down again...can't stop worrying about the moment when we see each other...i am starting to freaking out for a first time in a while now... ;( Sorry to bother you guys...DON"T YOU DARE FEEL THE SAME!! SMILE! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Musing Posted January 29, 2014 Share Posted January 29, 2014 Hey Discover. I am sorry to hear you're feeling low. Sorry to say I feel the same now and then. I try to remind myself that now is the time to focus on me, and you can do the same! It seems you are making some good progress with friends and hobbies. More so than I, it's freezing here and I hate cold weather. I have been back at school for only 2 days and have seen my ex both days. He said hi to me earlier. It was so bittersweet but not as bad as I'd thought. Still left me reeling and over-analyzing though. But luckily, all bruises do heal! I've had enough relationships of all varying degrees to know that in any situation, it gets better. It'll be odd at first, to see your ex. She may acknowledge you..or maybe not. Understand this though: You are NOT a stranger to her, AT ALL. Remember she has to get over you in her own way too. Just be casual if it happens and be gone. Try to avoid situations where you might see her. I know the empty/alone feeling too well. How do you just stop talking to a person? Well, now you can fill that void she left with yourself. Just do what you've been doing, even if it gets super difficult. The reward is equal to the pain, you'll come out even stronger! Nice Beatles reference, BTW. One of my faves Link to post Share on other sites
bubblesbursted Posted January 29, 2014 Share Posted January 29, 2014 Discover , dont be sad. Talk to me. I am here. Everything will be okay. Trust me. 3 weeks have gone, its just a matter of time. I know you can do this! Remember what you say to me? You have someone better for you buddy! She is waiting for you to find her. Donr freak out Daydream about anyone , Megan Fox if possible? You arent alone. You will feel something..hell a lot of things towards her but just remember she broke your heart. She dumped a person who loved and cared for her this much. If possible ignore her. Ignore seeing her. I know it will be hard but try to avoid it as much as possible. Keep yourself busy. Its her loss , you didnt deserve the pain. Keep me posted about how it went. I will pray for you.! And just remember you arent alone. I am here for you 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Discover Posted January 29, 2014 Author Share Posted January 29, 2014 So i went to school like everyday today but today was different....as i already explained i can't NC completely as we are in the same class -.- .... And since two weeks today she came only for the first lesson and for my shock in the middle of it...She was trying to find my gaze which was on her once...and then it happened.....i decided just to ask her how she was since we broke up...after the lesson...we talked...i was caring but just as for a friend...and she...she told me She": "I don't want you to go to the next lesson...but you have to...i don't want you to" Me: I will be late a bit. We talked about our future in education...and when i felt like going cause i knew i am going to take too long ,.. Me: I am going in the lesson, i have to She: I will send you till there At the fron door we said goodbye and as i walked away...she just...like out of desperation hugged me...and her eyes were watery...i smiled...told her not to do so so her father doesn't say that i made her said...asked her if she needed something and if everything is ok and she said yes....Now i am ok with that...although my whole existence screamed "KISS HEEEEERRRR" she didn't say anything about wanting to be with me again ( maybe from guilt) but she got me worried and now i can't stop wondering what was that about.... I had my friend slap me...my others buds told me that since she dumped me...i shouldn't feel that much compasionet and forbid me from going back to being together with her , which i already know...but.. WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ABOUT... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bubblesbursted Posted January 29, 2014 Share Posted January 29, 2014 Man, its like she is feeling too much guilt for dumping you and isnt getting in terms with her feelings. You need to make sure you dont let her in your head. Not until she says she wants to be with you straight. Dont do this to yourself. It must just be her guilt, I am not sure. I saw how much pain you were in, you need to go NC, try and avoid until she comes and says she is sorry and wants to be with you. That would be the time you break it. I dont want to give you false hopes , sorry if its harsh but you deserve much better Link to post Share on other sites
bubblesbursted Posted January 29, 2014 Share Posted January 29, 2014 Dont freak out..Take a deep breath. We are here for you. Calm down , listen to your music.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Discover Posted January 29, 2014 Author Share Posted January 29, 2014 My god..thank you bubbles..i needed this...thank you...To be honest i don't think i want to be with her again..because i know it won't be the same...but...i was like...WHATTTTTTTTT!?!?!??!?!?!? I want to be able to PM you so much right now... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bubblesbursted Posted January 29, 2014 Share Posted January 29, 2014 My god..thank you bubbles..i needed this...thank you...To be honest i don't think i want to be with her again..because i know it won't be the same...but...i was like...WHATTTTTTTTT!?!?!??!?!?!? I want to be able to PM you so much right now... Dont thank me buddy I am here looking out for you. And to tell you I dont think you should either, she had caused you too much pain and this isnt something that can make it upto! I want to pm you as well since so long! I cant wait till it gets activated Just hold on tight ok? I am here let me know whatever happens. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Discover Posted January 29, 2014 Author Share Posted January 29, 2014 thank you... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
xUnknown Posted January 29, 2014 Share Posted January 29, 2014 I assume she broke up with you... What it could have been about.. Most likely the reason... (1) She hurt you. She knows you're hurting. She's hurting. She misses you. She hates the pain. She knows you're in pain. She starts to tear up. She hugs you because she misses you, it comforts her like when you two were together. Nothing more, nothing less. She did this to make herself feel better (2) She hurt you. She knows you're hurting. She's hurting. She misses you. She hates the pain. She knows you're in pain. She starts to tear up. She hugs you because she misses you, it comforts her like when you two were together. She wants to be back in your arms for good. She wanted a kiss. She's sorry, she wants you back for good. But, she couldn't bring herself to apologize and ask to reconcile. She's too stubborn. You didn't kiss her (correct?), that's good. Even if she wanted you to (not implying she did), but she could have gotten pissed at you for it, even though deep down that's what she wanted. My ex broke up with me and she was pissed at ME for not chasing after her. She later said if I had, it would have pushed her farther away. What you do... In either case, the you're actions are the same. Do nothing. You must keep at limited contact with her as you can (because of having the same classes). Show her what its like to not be there for her. But, DO NOT skip or show up late to your class because of her. She is asking for you to do these things for her, after she broke your heart. She knew seeing you in class would be difficult. By you "helping her out" by showing up late and skipping is just making the breakup easier for her. She knew it would be tough, now she has to deal with the consequences. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bubblesbursted Posted January 29, 2014 Share Posted January 29, 2014 thank you... Come on smile.. And tell me you ate? And please say you are not crying..You are the dumper now. Congratulations! Wait for it. I bet she will come back but it will be your decision whether or not you have to go back to her. Love Done Gone remember? Play loud music and sing your lungs out..Do what makes u happy. Dont freak out Link to post Share on other sites
Author Discover Posted January 29, 2014 Author Share Posted January 29, 2014 I didn't kiss her cause i knew it was wrong but the doubt from the desire i had has its hands on me whole day..She is skipping and showing up late..i have a perfect record at school...almost suspiciously good...I just don't know what to do anymore...she wanted us to break up..so i guess i am disappointed and not ready to be with her..but..i am worried if she is ok...i am not showing it..but..this hug made me wonder whether everything is ok or not.. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bubblesbursted Posted January 29, 2014 Share Posted January 29, 2014 Cant you ask your mutual friends about her? Maybe it will help you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Discover Posted January 29, 2014 Author Share Posted January 29, 2014 Come on smile.. And tell me you ate? And please say you are not crying..You are the dumper now. Congratulations! Wait for it. I bet she will come back but it will be your decision whether or not you have to go back to her. Love Done Gone remember? Play loud music and sing your lungs out..Do what makes u happy. Dont freak out I don't feel like a dumper...more like a person who she can turn to when life is ****..or when all the things she wanted to do without me have made her realize that they are just what i told her they are...Not worth it for a person like her...blah...I ate bubbles...i had a practise after school in volleyball, it helped a lot with the toughts and the eating ... I remember! How are you doing? Eating? Sleeping? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Discover Posted January 29, 2014 Author Share Posted January 29, 2014 Skid Row - Wasted Time Lyrics HD + 3D - YouTube <<< bubbles this one is for you! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bubblesbursted Posted January 29, 2014 Share Posted January 29, 2014 I don't feel like a dumper...more like a person who she can turn to when life is ****..or when all the things she wanted to do without me have made her realize that they are just what i told her they are...Not worth it for a person like her...blah...I ate bubbles...i had a practise after school in volleyball, it helped a lot with the toughts and the eating ... I remember! How are you doing? Eating? Sleeping? Well then you should hold on tight and in your case more since NC is not possible 100%. Good just remember she doesnt deserve it okay? Indulge in your sports thats a good thing again. Believe it or not, I am better. I ate today! And i was smiling. You will know if you saw what happened. Link to post Share on other sites
bubblesbursted Posted January 29, 2014 Share Posted January 29, 2014 Skid Row - Wasted Time Lyrics HD + 3D - YouTube <<< bubbles this one is for you! Woo thanks, I was actually waiting for you to come and give me another song to jam onto 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Discover Posted January 29, 2014 Author Share Posted January 29, 2014 (edited) Well...actually no body knows that we have ended it...i have no idea how...but no body except my friends...who are mutual..but yeah...they haven't seen her since..and bubbles....ARE YOU EATING AND SLEEPING?? Edited January 29, 2014 by Discover 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bubblesbursted Posted January 29, 2014 Share Posted January 29, 2014 Oh, dont worry this much I am sure she is fine, you concentrate on your healing. Its time to think about yourself! And I did! I ate I ate today and I slept also. I feel better like I said I was smiling today. See in the thread 1 Link to post Share on other sites
xUnknown Posted January 29, 2014 Share Posted January 29, 2014 I didn't kiss her cause i knew it was wrong but the doubt from the desire i had has its hands on me whole day..She is skipping and showing up late..i have a perfect record at school...almost suspiciously good...I just don't know what to do anymore...she wanted us to break up..so i guess i am disappointed and not ready to be with her..but..i am worried if she is ok...i am not showing it..but..this hug made me wonder whether everything is ok or not.. She's hurting too man. That's why she hugged you. She wanted the comfort of you because you've done that in the past for her. You gotta keep focused on you. Perfect record at school -- good, keep that up! Clearly she is letting this affect her more than it is for you. She'll notice that. This is good. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Discover Posted January 29, 2014 Author Share Posted January 29, 2014 Oh, dont worry this much I am sure she is fine, you concentrate on your healing. Its time to think about yourself! And I did! I ate I ate today and I slept also. I feel better like I said I was smiling today. See in the thread This is awesome! I am happy for you!!! Now when i think about it...my god was she beautiful today....blllaaah...i feel so..strange.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bubblesbursted Posted January 29, 2014 Share Posted January 29, 2014 No No dont go down the road again. I understand what you are going through. Dont hurt yourself like this more. Please dont do this. Go Nc. Distract yourself. Talk to me or your friends. And thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Discover Posted January 29, 2014 Author Share Posted January 29, 2014 I don't know...i don't want to bother anyone else with this again...so i try and keep everything to myself...thank you bubbles for being here! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
xUnknown Posted January 29, 2014 Share Posted January 29, 2014 I don't know...i don't want to bother anyone else with this again...so i try and keep everything to myself...thank you bubbles for being here! Keeping it to yourself will make you go crazy! You have to talk to someone, but, you're right...you don't want to talk to your friends so much that you piss them off and push them away. Post here. Vent when you need to vent - here....We're here for ya. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Discover Posted January 29, 2014 Author Share Posted January 29, 2014 She's hurting too man. That's why she hugged you. She wanted the comfort of you because you've done that in the past for her. You gotta keep focused on you. Perfect record at school -- good, keep that up! Clearly she is letting this affect her more than it is for you. She'll notice that. This is good. Thank you xUnknown!!! But I am worried about her man...i can't really believe that this can affect her more than me... i mean..well...i guess i got hurt and disappointed so much than i actually got pushed away from her...she just wasn't/ins't what i loved and it is killing me because it feels like i never knew her and it wasn't like this..i think..;x....I know i have to want her to move on as i loved her/ love her as much as i want her to be happy but i feel stupid...more like confused that is... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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