Sorry about my agression

[Ace]

In my last "Good News" post, I went off the handle. I am sorry for doing this. It just makes me mad when people diss me when I simply put a kind post on how my relationship with my ex is going. I guess people are just sick of hearing about my life.

 

The only reason that I post things on here is because I am unsure on how to act with my ex. Now that we are "dating" again, I am really nervous on how I should act since I have no idea on how to go slow anymore.

 

I know in my rage I said that I would not post anything else, but this board is just addicting because there are some people that listen and care. I am not going to let a few people that don't care at all ruin my posts.

 

If I may, now that we are dating again and that we are going slow, I don't know if I should call her or wait until she calls me about things.

 

How often should I give her a call?

 

I appreciate any help.

 

Adam

[Rachel]

Adam;

 

There are many of us that are sooooooo happy that you have gotten back together with your ex. I too am having a dinner with mine this week. I was wondering, did things just click like before right away? I'm very nervous. I love this man with all my heart, and I know he is excited about us having dinner too.

 

About calling...... How about a call every other day..... let her call you in between. Dont' ask her why she has or has NOT called.

 

You will know by the frequency of her calls, how slow she wants to take this.

[Miss Universe]

First, let me tell you that all your life...until you die...you will encounter rude people. You will have a choice of letting their behavior bother you or of ignoring it when it is not constructive. Yes, even as you die, you may encounter a rude nurse who may want to pull the plug on you rather than work overtime.

 

People are usually not rude because of anything you have done. It's usually because for some reason they are not happy with themselves. They have all sorts of issues and problems they're dealing with. Maybe their house is being foreclosed on, maybe they just had an argument with their partner, maybe they have a headache, or maybe they're just in a rotten mood because they don't like the new president.

 

I think when you come to a forum like this, you are right in your feeling that there will be a compassionate ear. On the other hand, it is not good to have any particular expectations.

 

So first, don't shy away from here because one or two people choose to be rude. Wish them well and hope their situation gets better or they will one day gain the insight to be more understanding or compassionate. Second, take the negative experience and turn it into a very positive experience by ignoring their remarks and giving them absolutely no power over you. Thirdly, your posts have been very kind and I think you have a right to get angry if you must. While it would have been better had you not used profanity, it was the way you felt at the time and just don't worry about it.

 

Now, to answer your question about how often you should call your lady...sometimes call her two or three days in a row...then don't call her for two days. Be unpredictable. That will drive her up a wall. Guaranteed.

 

I am baffled at the fact that you return to this site, not only after being abused by others, but by the fact that you rarely heed the advice given to you. But it seems you own good intuition is doing the job for you so that's great. My bet is that you are going to decide to call her once or twice a day...and she may be the kind of lady who will appreciate that, at least for a spell.

 

The very fact that you are able to go into a rage by just reading some words on a computer screen indicates you have a vivid and creative imagination that you can easily use to build great relationships for yourself.

 

Don't ever let your day be ruined by any rudeness of any other person anywhere. I'm sure all the nice people will accept your above apology accepted but unnecessary...and as far as the rude people, they just want to be rude and nothing you could say would change that.

 

We all learn something every day.

[Tony T]

I just wanted you to know that I have read everything that Miss Universe had to say and I totally agree with it!!!

[Ace]

Thank you guys so much. I knew that there were kind ears on here. Alot more good people than bad people.

 

I am sorry that I haven't taken the advice of some of you. It is really good advice, but I just had to let my heart do the walking and I think that it has paid off for me.

 

I think I am going to call her maybe once every day like Miss Universe said and just kind of shake it up. Very unpredictable. I like that I know that that will drive her nuts. A good nuts, that is.

 

However, from our last date and from just now. I have another important question. Here is the situation. This one really baffles me because I am not a female.

 

I called her today after her friends and my friends went to a big party last night. That is a whole other story but I just got a little jealous because she was dancing with another guy, but no biggie. That is said and done and she is fine now, but anyway.

 

I called her today to ask if she wanted to go eat with me and another friend. She was having problems with her computer at the time, so she said that she also had practice to go to so she didn't want to go. I said that was fine and if she wanted any help with her computer since I know alot about them. She said that she was getting ready to leave and that she might call me whenever she got back so that I could take a look at it.

 

She got back and called me and I came over. No one was there because all of her roomates were gone. I tried to fix her computer but to no avail and then we were just talking. She then helped me get my laundry because it was in the washer. She fixed a little to eat and we both sat down and had a little meal. As I was helping her do the dishes, we got into this big water fight with the dish water! It was hilarious! We were both just totally soaked but we had a great time doing it!!

 

At then end of this little episode, I decided to just go blow dry my shirt dry. As I was doing this, she just took it and put it on the heater. Her roomate was home by this time and she is a little squeemish when it comes to guys so we closed the door because I had my shirt off.

 

She had just got this new massager so I said that if she would scratch my back then I would use that on her. She gladly accepted and that was ok. It was kinda nice touching her butt again. hehe Anyway, after we got that both done, we just started holding each other again.

 

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HERE IS THE IMPORTANT PART!!!!!

 

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After a little holding, we started making out very heavily again. We did this for about 15 minutes I would say and then she just stopped like last time. It was no big deal to me, but then she just said it would make it harder. She said that whenever we touch it brings things back again, but she misses us together dearly. She started crying and just said that she wanted to get back together, but she didn't know if she could make it work. This stumped me because I didn't know what she meant.

 

I told her that I was better now and I was going to support her more and that she didn't have to do all the work. A relationship is a two way street. She just kept saying that she didn't want to go through this again and she was so worried that she would feel like she did again! She then turned off that special moment that we were having and just sorta forgot that all happened and said that she needed to go to her friends that she was planning on.

 

Question: What can I do to make her not feel this way? She is constantly thinking that there may be a chance in which she couldn't make it work anymore again. She is just really worried about this and it is also worrying me. What do I do? She says that she doesn't want to move that fast, but she initiates this heavy makeout sessions that we have now. Should I just cordially decline these sessions to kind of keep her on track of what she wants to do; take it very slow?

 

This seems to be the most important question yet and also the longest post that I think I have ever posted.

 

If you guys have the time to read all of this, I greatly appreciate it and please, please, women or men, tell me what is going on in her head because I am totally stumped.

 

Adam