Jump to content

why tell the other person's spouse?


Recommended Posts

Yes but what happens when you tell the AP's wife and she chooses to believe the lies her WH is telling her - that the you are making it all up to get at them, that it never happened like you say it did.

 

Then you are left feeling dirty and like you're some kind of psycho bunny boiler! Even though you know (and he knows) that it absolutely happened.

 

You can't make someone believe if they don't want to...

Link to post
Share on other sites
Yes but what happens when you tell the AP's wife and she chooses to believe the lies her WH is telling her - that the you are making it all up to get at them, that it never happened like you say it did.

 

Then you are left feeling dirty and like you're some kind of psycho bunny boiler! Even though you know (and he knows) that it absolutely happened.

 

You can't make someone believe if they don't want to...

 

 

 

 

 

That is why you contact face to face if possible. Why you do not threaten or tell any one that you are going to expose so the OM/OW does not get to paint you as a pyscho so the BS will not believe you. Why you bring copies of the proof that you have.

 

 

If after all that and the BS doe not want to believe you that is their choice to live in the land of denial. And no reason to feel you are a boiler.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Yes but what happens when you tell the AP's wife and she chooses to believe the lies her WH is telling her - that the you are making it all up to get at them, that it never happened like you say it did.

 

Then you are left feeling dirty and like you're some kind of psycho bunny boiler! Even though you know (and he knows) that it absolutely happened.

 

You can't make someone believe if they don't want to...

 

I think the BS knows the truth, deep down.

It just takes a while for them to process it.......weeks, months

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
That is why you contact face to face if possible. Why you do not threaten or tell any one that you are going to expose so the OM/OW does not get to paint you as a pyscho so the BS will not believe you. Why you bring copies of the proof that you have.

 

 

If after all that and the BS doe not want to believe you that is their choice to live in the land of denial. And no reason to feel you are a boiler.

 

 

My husband first told her via email, with no warning to the OM that he was going to do it. When OM BS questioned him, he denied denied denied - said I made it all up. That I wanted more from a friendship and he declined so I'm retaliating. He probably even said that I sent the email, not my husband!

 

A week later my husband phoned her. Hopefully the fact that there was a real person on the other end of the phone telling her details that couldn't be denied has made her believe what took place.

 

We'll never know if he eventually confessed following the phone call, but we've done what we can to let her know so she can deal with it and make her choices from there...

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...