Will we get back together?

[Skinmeister]

My fiancee of nearly two years and I split up on Saturday. We were very much in love and were each others first loves, both emotionally and physically. She told me it was because we had too many arguments.

 

Now, I didn't think we did, we'd argue maybe once every two weeks at the most, and bigger arguments once every couple of months. We never argued about serious things, i.e. cheating, having kids, money. These are what I'd call serious. We'd never get nasty either, sometimes we would shout at each other but we'd never get violent or say hurtfull things. The worst thing I ever called her during an argument was bitch, and I'd never put her down.

 

She told me she needed space and not to phone, but I did later on the Saturday and on the Sunday. I had to phone her to try to understand why she broke up. I hadn't spoke to her since until I met up with her yesterday (the Thursday after) which we had planned to do, and we talked and hugged and cried. She even asked me for a kiss on the lips.

 

Now, she says she wants space, which I'll give to her. I'll do this because I've seen friends girlfriends (who I've also been friends with) ask them for space, and because they haven't given this to them and have constantly phoned etc. to try to get back together with them, they've pushed the girl away so they never get back together.

 

My question is, if I give her the space she asks for, will she realise she wants to be with me after all, or will she forget about me because I'm not around?

[Devildog]

My question is, if I give her the space she asks for, will she realise she wants to be with me after all, or will she forget about me because I'm not around?

 

Change that if to a when. You have no choice really but to give her space.

 

You said your fiancee, had you set a date for the wedding? Was it close to the time?

 

I have my suspicions that she might have had someone offering her an alternative to your relationship. It just seems like a weak excuse to break off an engagement.

 

If there is someone else, it will be out of sight, out of mind.

 

If not, then absence makes the heart grow fonder.

 

Either way all you can do is wait.

[Skinmeister]

Well yes I did mean I AM going to give her the space, I'm just not sure whether it's the right thing to do.

 

We were planning to wed in 2008, so a long way away. This is because she's still at college, and I've gone back to college part-time, so by that time we would both be finished with our courses and earning. At the moment I work full-time and she works part-time. We had planned to move in together at the end of the year, which is something we both wanted. I know for a fact that there isn't someone else. I won't go into details but I do know this.

 

While I'm not going to phone or text her, we will see each other every Thursday at least in passing. This is because that's the day I go to college.

 

Is that a good thing? I could if I wanted to make sure I didn't see her, by staying in the class room when we're on breaks, but she would know I was avoiding her because even when we hadn't planned to meet up we would always bump into each other.

 

By purposefully avoiding her, would she think I was giving her the space she asked for, or would she think I just didn't want to see her?

[Devildog]

I know for a fact that there isn't someone else. I won't go into details but I do know this.

 

Not trying to be mean here, but you never know for a fact.

 

By purposefully avoiding her, would she think I was giving her the space she asked for, or would she think I just didn't want to see her?

 

I don't think you should purposely avoid her completely. That would give her the impression that you are angry at her. Don't seek her out but don't avoid her either. If you are standing outside getting a breath of fresh air and she comes up, talk to her. Just keep it general and not relationship stuff. Nod, say hi, acknowledge her presence when you bump into each other or pass by each other. I wouldn't suggest going up to her to talk though. Let her come to you if she wants to talk.

[j_nelson]

Alright...chances are she's not into someone else...you would know this best...

 

Whatever you do give her a lot of space....do your best to act like you don't care even. I wouldn't be talking to other girls, but definitely act like her asking for space isn't bothering you....she will be in touch with you soon if you do this, that's for sure...in the meantime stay busy and hang out with the boys...do things that maybe you weren't always able to do!