bubblesbursted Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 I could really use something to distract me..I cant just cant..Its too much. Ok so I got to know from one of our mutual friends, he HAS moved on. In a matter of 5 days, didnt expect this honestly didnt. Had no hope and including my receding health and everything I cant even think straight. First , his mom then my mom then this. God How am I even alive? I am shaking and cant stop crying. I just ugh wish he was honest with me..honest in our relationship. I have tried to stay strong throughout but I cant anymore. I just cant I see something and then I just want to go to him, hug him and make things okay. I thought he really loved me? I am having sucidal thoughts and they are bad.. He has moved on..I might as well go in shock..My mom thinks I lost one of the best things in my life..He not feeling like talking to me in the initial days..me begging .. I cant stop all the flashes. I think I am loosing it right now. Having a breakdown. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bubblesbursted Posted January 30, 2014 Author Share Posted January 30, 2014 I dont think I can take this.. I have done everything they asked me to..I cant deal with this..I just..Feel alone. Link to post Share on other sites
Discover Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 Suck it up...don't you dare keep those suicidal thoughts..what the hell woman... YOur mother...oh please, not me, not her, not anyone except you can say what was best for you..if he left you,than he wasn't the best thing for you..if he was, he would have stayed and worked out every kind of problem you two had!!! Now...stop doubting..he loved you..it ended...that's it...it is tough for you as you know it is tough for me as well...but..c'mon SUICIDAL..SERIOUSLY?!...stop being how perfect he was and start thinking of the ways he made you sad...because if you admire someone..you can't surpass or forget him..so stop admiring him..sure..of course he will move on..he dumped you..he is a di ck...that's it... and your mother...avoid talking to her if that';s her opinion..avoid at least until you can go straight to her and say that you don't want him..!!!! You are not alone! You have us here, now i know it is not comforting..but you are not alone! !!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author bubblesbursted Posted January 30, 2014 Author Share Posted January 30, 2014 Suck it up...don't you dare keep those suicidal thoughts..what the hell woman... YOur mother...oh please, not me, not her, not anyone except you can say what was best for you..if he left you,than he wasn't the best thing for you..if he was, he would have stayed and worked out every kind of problem you two had!!! Now...stop doubting..he loved you..it ended...that's it...it is tough for you as you know it is tough for me as well...but..c'mon SUICIDAL..SERIOUSLY?!...stop being how perfect he was and start thinking of the ways he made you sad...because if you admire someone..you can't surpass or forget him..so stop admiring him..sure..of course he will move on..he dumped you..he is a di ck...that's it... and your mother...avoid talking to her if that';s her opinion..avoid at least until you can go straight to her and say that you don't want him..!!!! You are not alone! You have us here, now i know it is not comforting..but you are not alone! !!! He moved on in 5 days? I cant stop crying seriously..I want to call him names but I want to show him he fu*ked up with my mind and heart. I am a mess. I cant control it anymore. I did everything they said NC block deleting pics but god dammit he is not out of there and now what? He is with someone else who he possible was when we were together and I was ecastic?! I cant stop discover..I just cant..He is just I dont know what happened to him . According to everyone he is the perfect bf and we were the "it" couple , how much pressure its putting on me ? Its too much! too much stress on my brain its like its going to burst. And I cant even I dont know I just ugh I want to call him names But I cant break NC. I am such a mess. Link to post Share on other sites
rec88 Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 You are in the worst of the grieving process, and it sucks. But it is essential. I remember it all too well and I know it's difficult, but please believe me when I say that the most painful experiences trigger the greatest growth. You can do this. One thing that sticks out to me is you said your mom thinks you've lost one of the best things in your life. Sorry, but she's wrong. The best thing in your life is you. You have already invested far more in yourself than you ever did in a relationship. More than twenty years compared to 2.5. All the work and growth that has led up to the person you are now is far too important to give up on. Keep going no matter what; you are worth it! 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Discover Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 He moved on in 5 days? I cant stop crying seriously..I want to call him names but I want to show him he fu*ked up with my mind and heart. I am a mess. I cant control it anymore. I did everything they said NC block deleting pics but god dammit he is not out of there and now what? He is with someone else who he possible was when we were together and I was ecastic?! I cant stop discover..I just cant..He is just I dont know what happened to him . According to everyone he is the perfect bf and we were the "it" couple , how much pressure its putting on me ? Its too much! too much stress on my brain its like its going to burst. And I cant even I dont know I just ugh I want to call him names But I cant break NC. I am such a mess. Bubbles...they called us "it"couple as well..and they said that i am the boyfriend every girl wants...but i guess i didn't have what she wanted...so stop being affected by what others say about you..god damn i am so pissed of by your surroundings right now...fuc k them!...you are not alone, believe me...i didn't see her for 1 week and the last thing i heard is how she will go to some guys house (older than us) for him to show her how to operate a computer program...ever since i stopped carring and tryied/trying to move on...because after 2 years this was the top of all the BULL*****.. HONESTLY...i am so pissed of right now...what kind of thoughts you think passed trough my head...for 2 weeks i was broken in every aspect but now...when i think about it..i wish i had ignored her hard core today...because..man that hurt...that still hurts...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA :@ :@ :@ .... call him names..why do you want to contact him..call them here...shout them...who cares if he knows...let him think you are broken..you move on..make him regret losing you...be your best..and even if he does regret in time...scr.e.w him...the right guy will come and kiss you and that's it... Personally i think the reason she is hurting is because she knows she fuc king broke me in two...but i am always nice..and i won't let her see i hate her..it was her choice...i have no regrets..i did everything for her,she walked away... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
xUnknown Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 Rec is right. You're mom has it completely backwards. If I were you I would tell her she's doing a ****ty job at helping you cope and to not contact you if she's going to say BS like that. Nobody's life is worth giving up on someone like this. You're just showing him he won....don't do that. Sorry, but there is no way he has moved on in 5 days. Maybe not even 5 months from now. Its just not possible. What he is doing is putting up a front, to make it look to others that he has, while using this to convince himself he's moved on. I did this. He isn't moved on, so know that. Stay strong and stay positive. Go outside for a run (if it isn't too cold where you're at) get into a different environment to take your mind off things. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author bubblesbursted Posted January 30, 2014 Author Share Posted January 30, 2014 I broke Nc , called him an Ass and he blocked me..I cant stop now..Its worse. Getting worse. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Discover Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 I broke Nc , called him an Ass and he blocked me..I cant stop now..Its worse. Getting worse. Bubbles..get your phone in another room.. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author bubblesbursted Posted January 30, 2014 Author Share Posted January 30, 2014 Bubbles..get your phone in another room.. I have kept it away now, he blocked me after hearing the truth. It feels like I am loosing it. And now I can see I totally screwed it. I called him an ass? I never call people names. What is happening to me. I am scared. Link to post Share on other sites
rec88 Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 Personally i think the reason she is hurting is because she knows she fuc king broke me in two Yup! Best to take the high road here. We gave someone we loved everything we had. They let someone they loved down. Who's living with regrets now? Not I. Hopefully not you either . Bubbles, don't call... I know it's feels wrong to ignore your instincts and to trust people you've never met, but don't f**king call. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
xUnknown Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 I have kept it away now, he blocked me after hearing the truth. It feels like I am loosing it. And now I can see I totally screwed it. I called him an ass? I never call people names. What is happening to me. I am scared. Don't beat yourself up over it. Breaking NC happens. Just start it over. Post here or in the coping thread instead of breaking NC. What I always did, was every time I wanted to break NC, I would pick up a dumb bell and start lifting. Its amazing how much that anger, hate, worry, anxiety is used as fuel towards a workout. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Discover Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 Bubbles..stop showing him that you are like that..my god..ignore the erge for the phone..switch it off...do something..break it if necessary..just...stop ****ing calling him...this fu ck face... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author bubblesbursted Posted January 30, 2014 Author Share Posted January 30, 2014 he blocked me because I called him an ass after NC so long? He didnt bother asking how I was? HE didnt care about what he did to me? Didnt care about how much pain he caused me by doing this? And I say one think ONE f**king thing and he blocks me like I am ****..After those 3 years? God dammit. I feel hurt after his actions. He couldnt be kind? Link to post Share on other sites
xUnknown Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 he blocked me because I called him an ass after NC so long? He didnt bother asking how I was? HE didnt care about what he did to me? Didnt care about how much pain he caused me by doing this? And I say one think ONE f**king thing and he blocks me like I am ****..After those 3 years? God dammit. I feel hurt after his actions. He couldnt be kind? Think of it this way Bubbles, he did that BECAUSE he cares. He wants you to move on and heal as fast as possible. Doing those things would just keep you from doing those things. He took the steps to help you...it may not seem that way, but it was. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Discover Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 Oh..bubbles...FU CK KINDNESS...I called her..she sounded like she was having the time of her life the day before we broke up...i was so pissed of that instead of calling her names i started laughing...please....they don't give a single fu ck... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
rec88 Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 He didn't ask because he doesn't need to, you are showing him how you are doing. And if you are going to call him an ass, don't expect him to overextend on kindness. Especially when he's probably emotionally switched off from the situation. Tough love, but this is something you need to understand sooner rather than later. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author bubblesbursted Posted January 30, 2014 Author Share Posted January 30, 2014 I feel sick. Like I am going to throw up? And somewhere I regret calling him an ass. Is that bad? And I dont think my crying is going to stop.. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 I have kept it away now, he blocked me after hearing the truth. It feels like I am loosing it. And now I can see I totally screwed it. I called him an ass? I never call people names. What is happening to me. I am scared. You didn't screw anything up. You have to stop internalizing everything even when you know that he was not honest and upfront with you. He didn't move on in 5 days. He had moved on when he was in the relationship with you. You have to understand that. I told you no more triggers. Tell your friends you don't want to hear about him. Tell your mother you don't want to hear her opinions about him. You called him an ass. If you read on here people have called their dumpers far worse and if he had any sense in his head, he knows that it was said out of anger. And this is why I said any man that cared for you and has a pea brain at the least, will understand that side swipping you with a break-up is going to cause you to react this way. You're angry because you've been hurt and disappointed. You feel cheated. It's normal that you are lashing out. But don't channel it to him. He can't do anything for you but hurt you more by his responses. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author bubblesbursted Posted January 30, 2014 Author Share Posted January 30, 2014 Ugh I just hate my life.. Link to post Share on other sites
xUnknown Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 I feel sick. Like I am going to throw up? And somewhere I regret calling him an ass. Is that bad? And I dont think my crying is going to stop.. Don't regret it. Your emotions took control of you. I'm sure he knows this. Thats why he didn't ask how you were. You calling him is showing him exactly how you are doing. You have to Not call him and Not Contact him to show him you're doing better. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author bubblesbursted Posted January 30, 2014 Author Share Posted January 30, 2014 You didn't screw anything up. You have to stop internalizing everything even when you know that he was not honest and upfront with you. He didn't move on in 5 days. He had moved on when he was in the relationship with you. You have to understand that. I told you no more triggers. Tell your friends you don't want to hear about him. Tell your mother you don't want to hear her opinions about him. You called him an ass. If you read on here people have called their dumpers far worse and if he had any sense in his head, he knows that it was said out of anger. And this is why I said any man that cared for you and has a pea brain at the least, will understand that side swipping you with a break-up is going to cause you to react this way. You're angry because you've been hurt and disappointed. You feel cheated. It's normal that you are lashing out. But don't channel it to him. He can't do anything for you but hurt you more by his responses. Zahara thank you for replying. I seriously feel I am loosing myself right now. its just a break down or what I dont know. I am freaking out. I regret saying it to him, it just messed up the situation more. Link to post Share on other sites
xUnknown Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 Oh..bubbles...FU CK KINDNESS...I called her..she sounded like she was having the time of her life the day before we broke up...i was so pissed of that instead of calling her names i started laughing...please....they don't give a single fu ck... Wait, you just broke NC and called her? Dude, you gotta keep strong man! Seriously, do what I suggested in your thread. Sack up to the breakup. You'll make her think then its all on you. You sit back and let it all play out. Link to post Share on other sites
k10k Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 Hey bubbles I got a double whammy similar to this.. I know the feeling that you're in right now.. don't beat yourself up for anything ok! Do yourself a huge favour now: DELETE ALL the ways that you are able to contact him, so that you won't be able to communicate with him whatsoever. Tell all your family and friends that you no longer want to hear anything about him. Just do it - NC = no new pain. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Discover Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 Edit: Ok, ok sorry..you guys are right..it is tough love..i think i am doing the same, although i am the dumpee, which is akward as hell...i was just angry...i guess..if he/she isn't a complete moron he/she will care as much as to just stay cold so you can heal faster..sorry for my rage...Bubbles...don't hate your life...god..cheer up...cmon girl.!!! Keep rolling, rock 'n' rolling !!! P.S going to a lesson now Bubbles...when i come back..i want to see how you are smiling because of everyone else's posts! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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