Emotional Breakdown , Vent.

[xUnknown]

Hey bubbles

 

I got a double whammy similar to this.. I know the feeling that you're in right now.. don't beat yourself up for anything ok!

 

Do yourself a huge favour now: DELETE ALL the ways that you are able to contact him, so that you won't be able to communicate with him whatsoever.

Tell all your family and friends that you no longer want to hear anything about him.

 

Just do it - NC = no new pain.

 

yeah, delete his number or have a friend do it for you. Don't contact him. You have to see that your pain now is all part of the healing process.

[Discover]

Wait, you just broke NC and called her? Dude, you gotta keep strong man! Seriously, do what I suggested in your thread. Sack up to the breakup. You'll make her think then its all on you. You sit back and let it all play out.

No no...you got it wrong..i called her during the "I need time phase" one day before we had to talk just to check whether she is going to come to school so we can talk..-.- since then i haven't called once

[bubblesbursted]

Edit: Ok, ok sorry..you guys are right..it is tough love..i think i am doing the same, although i am the dumpee, which is akward as hell...i was just angry...i guess..if he/she isn't a complete moron he/she will care as much as to just stay cold so you can heal faster..sorry for my rage...Bubbles...don't hate your life...god..cheer up...cmon girl.!!!

 

Keep rolling, rock 'n' rolling !!!

 

P.S going to a lesson now Bubbles...when i come back..i want to see how you are smiling because of everyone else's posts!

 

I will try.

[bubblesbursted]

Hey bubbles

 

I got a double whammy similar to this.. I know the feeling that you're in right now.. don't beat yourself up for anything ok!

 

Do yourself a huge favour now: DELETE ALL the ways that you are able to contact him, so that you won't be able to communicate with him whatsoever.

Tell all your family and friends that you no longer want to hear anything about him.

 

Just do it - NC = no new pain.

 

I am deleting

[Zahara]

Zahara thank you for replying. I seriously feel I am loosing myself right now. its just a break down or what I dont know. I am freaking out. I regret saying it to him, it just messed up the situation more.

 

You're going through your denial. You feel hurt and angry. You feel cheated. It's normal. It's nothing anyone here hasn't felt days after a break-up. I don't want you to think this is something out of the ordinary and that there is something wrong with you.

 

I lashed out at one ex specifically after we broke up. Called him every name in the book. Even when he blocked me I found a way to get my words across to him. I wanted him to pay. I wanted him to feel hurt. I wanted to make him regret what he did to me. It's a reaction when you hear things like him moving on. HOW DARE HE MOVE ON? What about the pain and hurt I feel? Did he love me? How can he walk away so easily? All that becomes a bomb waiting to go off, especially when you hear them going on with life as if nothing ever happened.

 

You called him an ass. Big deal. Calling him an ass pales in comparison to what his actions have done to you.

[k10k]

I am deleting

 

Glad to hear it

 

It will give you the mental space you need right now in order to heal.

 

Stay strong, this too shall pass, promise x

[Never Again]

When a dumper leaves they typically feel two big things, guilt and relief.

 

When he hears from you and knows that you're hurting, it increases his guilt and impedes on his relief. He's going to reset the scales somehow.

 

By blocking you, he's keeping you from contacting him and hurting yourself further. He's also keeping you at a distance so that he doesn't have to see your pain. He lessens his guilt and increases his relief.

 

My ex reached out to me a few times during the first month...but did it completely out of guilt, but she knew the contact was probably hurting me so she began to hold off. She couldn't have done me a bigger favor. Every time we texted during that first month, I felt a vortex swirl inside. It HURT, and it didn't start to subside until NC did its work.

[bubblesbursted]

I delted the rest of the pictures and I feel worse. I dont know i think its increasing.

[JDPT]

Power through this, only you have the inner strength topropel yourself through these hard times.

Don't focus on whether he moved on or not, that's utterly irrelevant at this point. What's relevant is YOU, your mental and physical health. You are this stand alone unit that must fend for yourself. You need to weather the weather and know that the pain will eventually subside. Take charge of life, you can train your brain to believe anything you want to believe. Be strong you will come out of this a new and improved you.

[bubblesbursted]

I broke down again..called my mom told her i was hurting ..it was too much I had to talk to someone, speak to someone..Cried too much on call with her..I think she understood but all i want right now is a hug. Is that bad?

[ithappenedagain]

I broke down again..called my mom told her i was hurting ..it was too much I had to talk to someone, speak to someone..Cried too much on call with her..I think she understood but all i want right now is a hug. Is that bad?

 

Bubbles, I can feel your pain through the internet. I am so sorry.

 

Do you have other people to talk to, outside of your mom? I have found relief in talking to my good friend.

 

Please dont consider suicide.

 

This might sound kinda crazy, but if you really want someone to talk to - shoot me a private message and we can exchange #'s. I just don't want you doing anything stupid. You know?

 

I am praying for you. Take some deep breathes. I know the pain you are in. Breathe in.... Breathe out...

[H245]

Bubbles, my thoughts and prayers go out to you. I have been feeling similarly recently as well.

 

/Hug

[bubblesbursted]

Bubbles, I can feel your pain through the internet. I am so sorry.

 

Do you have other people to talk to, outside of your mom? I have found relief in talking to my good friend.

 

Please dont consider suicide.

 

This might sound kinda crazy, but if you really want someone to talk to - shoot me a private message and we can exchange #'s. I just don't want you doing anything stupid. You know?

 

I am praying for you. Take some deep breathes. I know the pain you are in. Breathe in.... Breathe out...

 

No, not really I dont . Atleast mom understood. I am whatsapping a friend but its not helping. It was my ex who was always there and now nope noone.

 

I wish i could but my pm's are not activated. I am holding on still. I am trying my best not to do something crazy due to my emotions.

 

Thank you for praying for me. And I am just ..I really want to get out of this home. I am dieing from inside.

[bubblesbursted]

Of course. Shoot me a message!

 

I invited you.

[stillfiguringitallou]

..My mom thinks I lost one of the best things in my life..

 

Ask your mom if she'd like to adopt him - if she says no - tell her to start acting like YOUR mother.

 

while our loved ones should not sugar coat our faults in a breakup - they should not defend the other person to the point of our emotional pain either.

 

I'm sorry you are going through this - im going to send you a PM

[JDPT]

Keep telling you that the pain will subside, trust me this will not last an eternity. However, it's up to you to make things better for yourself. I can certainly resonate with the excruciating pain, it's beyond words, but hey when you are down all you can do is get up and keep fighting, you can't down, keep fighting. You will come out of this a new person, wiser and stronger. Take this as a learning experience that will mold you into a stronger human being.

[H245]

I'm here as well to vent if ya need it. I could use some venting as well....

 

[email protected]

[stillfiguringitallou]

dont have an invite but im on most of the day (work remotely from home)

 

feel free to reach out any time.

 

I get the whys?

 

Ill help anyway I can

[Chris715]

Hey bubbles, read most of your thread and I can tell that you're really hurting. Don't feel too bad about breaking NC, calling him names, etc. it happens to EVERYONE. My ex broke up with me a little over a year ago and I broke NC countless times. Called her things and said things to her I regret, and vice versa. It happens.

 

The big thing is we can't dwell on it, but I know it's hard. I'm 5 months NC since I learned that she had moved on, found another guy and I've been hurting ever since. So I can definitely relate

 

I've been struggling for over a year now with this because I made way too many mistakes and I don't want to see you repeat them.

 

-You blocked him, that's good. Don't reach out anymore, block him on all social media, tell friends and family not to talk about them anymore. I had to do all of this with my ex, but only after a year or so of lingering contact that caused way too much pain in my life.

 

-Force yourself to stay busy. Focus on work, focus on school, focus on a hobby, hang out with friends. Anything. I spent months where I pushed friends and family away and did nothing but dwell on her: big mistake.

 

-Don't force yourself to date too soon or feel pressure to start. I'm still struggling with this because I'm not completely over her and my self esteem is basically destroyed. From your posts in the thread it looks like you're feeling very similar. Any time I meet I girl I have any interest in I have lingering thoughts like "My ex didn't want me, why would anyone else be interested in me?" and it becomes toxic. Maybe we both need some time alone to build ourselves up? I don't know, wish I knew the answer to this one...

 

If you need a friend to talk to, to vent, anything, shoot me a PM or email me: [email protected]

 

Feel better

[bubblesbursted]

Hey bubbles, read most of your thread and I can tell that you're really hurting. Don't feel too bad about breaking NC, calling him names, etc. it happens to EVERYONE. My ex broke up with me a little over a year ago and I broke NC countless times. Called her things and said things to her I regret, and vice versa. It happens.

 

The big thing is we can't dwell on it, but I know it's hard. I'm 5 months NC since I learned that she had moved on, found another guy and I've been hurting ever since. So I can definitely relate

 

I've been struggling for over a year now with this because I made way too many mistakes and I don't want to see you repeat them.

 

-You blocked him, that's good. Don't reach out anymore, block him on all social media, tell friends and family not to talk about them anymore. I had to do all of this with my ex, but only after a year or so of lingering contact that caused way too much pain in my life.

 

-Force yourself to stay busy. Focus on work, focus on school, focus on a hobby, hang out with friends. Anything. I spent months where I pushed friends and family away and did nothing but dwell on her: big mistake.

 

-Don't force yourself to date too soon or feel pressure to start. I'm still struggling with this because I'm not completely over her and my self esteem is basically destroyed. From your posts in the thread it looks like you're feeling very similar. Any time I meet I girl I have any interest in I have lingering thoughts like "My ex didn't want me, why would anyone else be interested in me?" and it becomes toxic. Maybe we both need some time alone to build ourselves up? I don't know, wish I knew the answer to this one...

 

If you need a friend to talk to, to vent, anything, shoot me a PM or email me: [email protected]

 

Feel better

 

Thank you for replying.

 

I feel worse right now. I had slept & getting up is so hard. God dammit. I feel like just crying and throwing up. I'm missing him. I dont know i was ok before i slept. ugh. feeling sad.

[ayudorama]

^Ride it all out mate. All of it demands to be felt.

 

I remember the extreme grief I felt months ago when the break-up was still fresh. Mornings are terrible. Please hang in there. And keep hydrated. Crying all day can be extremely dehydrating.

 

What time is it where you are now? Any chance of returning back to sleep? Or fixing yourself something scrumptious to eat?

 

/hugs

[dreamingoftigers]

I have kept it away now, he blocked me after hearing the truth. It feels like I am loosing it. And now I can see I totally screwed it. I called him an ass? I never call people names. What is happening to me. I am scared.

 

Well honey,

 

On the bright side at least you were accurate.

 

It's too much stress to be under. It really is.

And finding them with someone else is such a double-punch.

 

This is that conflict-avoidance I was telling you about.

Healthy people let a relationship stand or fall on its own merit. They don't wait around for it to fail or "keep their outside options open for the next new thing."

 

He didn't move on in five days.

 

He let the lovey-dovey feelings affect him with you. Didn't treat it as something special and didn't do the things required to foster the connection with you.

 

Then he took the easy route when he found that he could be on the receiving end of those new lovey-dovey chemicals.

 

Essentially, he cheated you out of three years by making you think he was a thick and thin long-haul guy when he was just shallow.

 

Shallow guys tend not to hold relationships well. They are all about what they can get from it.

[dreamingoftigers]

Think of it this way Bubbles, he did that BECAUSE he cares. He wants you to move on and heal as fast as possible. Doing those things would just keep you from doing those things. He took the steps to help you...it may not seem that way, but it was.

 

Actually he did do it because he's an ass.

 

But hopefully he shows you just how much of an ass he is so yoy can decide he's a faker and you totally want a non-fake better guy.

[bubblesbursted]

Well honey,

 

On the bright side at least you were accurate.

 

It's too much stress to be under. It really is.

And finding them with someone else is such a double-punch.

 

Its is such a stressful situation, i mean everything is happening all od a sudden together! One after the other. Mixed signals , his mom, my mom , infidelity. Gosh..

 

 

He didn't move on in five days.

 

He let the lovey-dovey feelings affect him with you. Didn't treat it as something special and didn't do the things required to foster the connection with you.

 

Then he took the easy route when he found that he could be on the receiving end of those new lovey-dovey chemicals.

 

Essentially, he cheated you out of three years by making you think he was a thick and thin long-haul guy when he was just shallow.

 

Shallow guys tend not to hold relationships well. They are all about what they can get from it.

 

 

He knew how I felt about cheaters. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Of course he cheated, or maybe on a rebound. God knows but it was a big blow. He really is an assclown rubbing it on my face.

[bubblesbursted]

Actually he did do it because he's an ass.

 

But hopefully he shows you just how much of an ass he is so yoy can decide he's a faker and you totally want a non-fake better guy.

 

To tell you something funny

 

Iam thinking of him as a girl. I am seperating Nate (yea jerkface has a name) the guy i loved and im thinking right now the guy isnt a guy its a girl , hence im kind of feeling better and not missing the person he is now.

 

confusing yea but its working.