Emotional Breakdown , Vent.

[LadyM]

1. Always keeping me hanging never texting me once to tell hebis cancelling or anything

 

2. never made me feel special, no sweet gestures. Hell i got my first rose from him last month?

 

3. Getting defensive when told what hebdid was wrong.

 

4. Asking for a time that he would meet me at? And him getting mad at me feeling like he was reporting to me

 

5. Always complaining how i dont get ready like normal girls and dont do so much make up? like wtf?

 

6. He even went to a length to say "i will always pick me before you" when we were together? god i waa blind.

 

7. Never got spoilt by him. Infact it was me getting him stuff, trying to be friends with his friends and what did i get? nothing.

 

I can go on and on and i dont claim to be perfect either. But screw kindness

 

Hi Bubbles. I've been reading through your threads and my heart goes out to you. I can feel your pain right through the screen of my monitor. I feel like scooping you up into my arms, holding and hugging you and telling you that everything is going to be alright, because it IS. I PROMISE that to you a MILLION times over. 100% guarantee!!

 

I'm SO glad you posted this list of SOME of the bad traits of your ex. What an eye-opener!! While I know you are deeply suffering, it's so clear to me that his leaving you is the BEST thing that could happen to you. I know you are in tremendous, unrelenting pain right now, and I am sorry for that, but this is one horrible man that I am SO relieved is out of your precious life.

 

This is not a man you need in your life. This is not a man to have children with. This is not a man who cares for you and adores you as you should be adored. I pity the next poor unfortunate soul who lets him into her life next and suffers from his selfish ways. Selfish people don't change their ways. No more suffering for you. You are done with him and I am so happy.

 

All the traits you listed were pretty reprehensible, but the worst one of all is that he will always put himself first. The LAST thing in the world that you need is to be with a selfish man for the REST of your life. Now, THAT would be a tragedy. While this break-up SEEMS like a tragedy, it's not. Wasting anymore time with a foolish loser like him - THAT would have been the tragedy, Bubbles.

 

He gave you the biggest favor of your life when he left you. You will one day look back and see him with fresh eyes and renewed clarity and see him for the louse he is. And one day, you will be with a man, a real man, who will cherish and GIVE to YOU for all your days. You never would have gotten anywhere near that with this man who was incapable, absolutely incapable, of giving you, or anyone, the real kind of dependable mature love you are seeking.

 

I say good riddance to him. Let him be on his way. Shoo him off. Wipe your hands clean from this taker. At least now you will have the opportunity to live a MUCH better life than you ever would have had with this man who never deserved or appreciated you.

 

This pain you are in now will not disappear so quickly, I do know that from experience, but, oh, how your future will eventually be so much brighter without him! You are a WONDERFUL woman and there are men out there who will feel honored to be with you.

 

Wipe those tears AWAY, dear Bubbles. He DOESN'T deserve them. Let him GO. Let him go FAR from you!! Dry those tears and make yourself a BEAUTIFUL life!! This monster gave you your FREEDOM! Thank your lucky stars he is AWAY from you! It would have been too hard for you to have ever broken-up with him, so he has given you the gift of a lifetime.

 

So, dear Bubbles, cry your heart out if you must, long to be with him, grieve his absence. It's okay because we have all been there. You are stronger than you know. Draw on that strength to pull you through. You ARE going to be fine!! Remember that you are a beautiful woman and have so much love to give to the RIGHT man.

 

And as trite as this may sound, remember, this too shall pass.

 

It's just so darn true -- it all passes, sweet Bubbles!!!!!

 

((((Hugs)))) and ((((Strength))))!!!!!

[bubblesbursted]

Hi Bubbles. I've been reading through your threads and my heart goes out to you. I can feel your pain right through the screen of my monitor. I feel like scooping you up into my arms, holding and hugging you and telling you that everything is going to be alright, because it IS. I PROMISE that to you a MILLION times over. 100% guarantee!!

 

I'm SO glad you posted this list of SOME of the bad traits of your ex. What an eye-opener!! While I know you are deeply suffering, it's so clear to me that his leaving you is the BEST thing that could happen to you. I know you are in tremendous, unrelenting pain right now, and I am sorry for that, but this is one horrible man that I am SO relieved is out of your precious life.

 

This is not a man you need in your life. This is not a man to have children with. This is not a man who cares for you and adores you as you should be adored. I pity the next poor unfortunate soul who lets him into her life next and suffers from his selfish ways. Selfish people don't change their ways. No more suffering for you. You are done with him and I am so happy.

 

All the traits you listed were pretty reprehensible, but the worst one of all is that he will always put himself first. The LAST thing in the world that you need is to be with a selfish man for the REST of your life. Now, THAT would be a tragedy. While this break-up SEEMS like a tragedy, it's not. Wasting anymore time with a foolish loser like him - THAT would have been the tragedy, Bubbles.

 

He gave you the biggest favor of your life when he left you. You will one day look back and see him with fresh eyes and renewed clarity and see him for the louse he is. And one day, you will be with a man, a real man, who will cherish and GIVE to YOU for all your days. You never would have gotten anywhere near that with this man who was incapable, absolutely incapable, of giving you, or anyone, the real kind of dependable mature love you are seeking.

 

I say good riddance to him. Let him be on his way. Shoo him off. Wipe your hands clean from this taker. At least now you will have the opportunity to live a MUCH better life than you ever would have had with this man who never deserved or appreciated you.

 

This pain you are in now will not disappear so quickly, I do know that from experience, but, oh, how your future will eventually be so much brighter without him! You are a WONDERFUL woman and there are men out there who will feel honored to be with you.

 

Wipe those tears AWAY, dear Bubbles. He DOESN'T deserve them. Let him GO. Let him go FAR from you!! Dry those tears and make yourself a BEAUTIFUL life!! This monster gave you your FREEDOM! Thank your lucky stars he is AWAY from you! It would have been too hard for you to have ever broken-up with him, so he has given you the gift of a lifetime.

 

So, dear Bubbles, cry your heart out if you must, long to be with him, grieve his absence. It's okay because we have all been there. You are stronger than you know. Draw on that strength to pull you through. You ARE going to be fine!! Remember that you are a beautiful woman and have so much love to give to the RIGHT man.

 

And as trite as this may sound, remember, this too shall pass.

 

It's just so darn true -- it all passes, sweet Bubbles!!!!!

 

((((Hugs)))) and ((((Strength))))!!!!!

 

Thank you for this LadyM , reading your post made me feel better and hopeful of the future. I do not know what is going to happen. One day I hate him and then there are days like today where I just want him with me. I do know eventually what has happened would have happened later for sure and that would have been worse than this. I am thankful for that. But that doesnt make the pain go away. I just want to take those 3 years back and live without feeling anything for him. Its so confusing. I am sure everyone has felt the same.

 

Though I am scared. What if I never get over him? I have heard people saying their first love never leave their mind. Somehow you always compare your future to your first love. I am really scared. I dont want that. I dont want my present messing my future. I dont want to love him. I DON'T.

 

Waking up every morning is worse. Its such a task getting up without crying. Even though, I know we werent meant to be but still..

 

And thank you for taking so much time and supporting me. *hugs*

[stillfiguringitallou]

go'

 

listen

 

feel empowered

 

[stillfiguringitallou]

and this one too - actually - this one first

 

[LadyM]

Thank you for this LadyM , reading your post made me feel better and hopeful of the future. I do not know what is going to happen. One day I hate him and then there are days like today where I just want him with me. I do know eventually what has happened would have happened later for sure and that would have been worse than this. I am thankful for that. But that doesnt make the pain go away. I just want to take those 3 years back and live without feeling anything for him. Its so confusing. I am sure everyone has felt the same.

 

Though I am scared. What if I never get over him? I have heard people saying their first love never leave their mind. Somehow you always compare your future to your first love. I am really scared. I dont want that. I dont want my present messing my future. I dont want to love him. I DON'T.

 

Waking up every morning is worse. Its such a task getting up without crying. Even though, I know we werent meant to be but still..

 

And thank you for taking so much time and supporting me. *hugs*

 

I really understand exactly how you feel because I've been there. But it wasn't with my first, second or even third love. I'm a lot older than you and I can tell you it was this last love that has thrown me for a major loop. I even lost a husband and while that was painful, this is worse.

 

They are out of our lives by choice, rejecting us along the way. It's so awful and devastating. So, it's not necessarily the first love that lingers the most. It really can be any of them. AND, this last love of mine? Well, he was about the worst guy I could have gotten myself involved with and I think it's these bad men that tend to stick around in our hearts the longest.

 

I know you want the pain to diminish right now. All I can suggest are all the same offerings the other good people here at LS have given you. I find that those tips do help to an extent. What helped me a LOT was having a good friend who was somehow always there for me to talk to for a very long time. I'm not sure how or why he did this for me. He always propped me back up when I was faltering. Maybe that's what LS can be for you!

 

Also, the passing of time has helped with the agonizing, unreachable pain. It has faded some. Dulled a bit. You may bounce back sooner than you think, especially considering your young age. I so know what you mean about wanting to take back the years you were with him so you don't have to go through this agony now. It really makes one wonder about ever getting involved again if this is the inherent risk.

 

The mornings are the worst. I know. Try to distract yourself with anything. And we are always here for you to turn to. There's always someone around who will be happy to give you a boost back up!!!

Edited February 1, 2014 by LadyM

[bubblesbursted]

I really understand exactly how you feel because I've been there. But it wasn't with my first, second or even third love. I'm a lot older than you and I can tell you it was this last love that has thrown me for a major loop. I even lost a husband and while that was painful, this is worse.

 

They are out of our lives by choice, rejecting us along the way. It's so awful and devastating. So, it's not necessarily the first love that lingers the most. It really can be any of them. AND, this last love of mine? Well, he was about the worst guy I could have gotten myself involved with and I think it's these bad men that tend to stick around in our hearts the longest.

 

I know you want the pain to diminish right now. All I can suggest are all the same offerings the other good people here at LS have given you. I find that those tips do help to an extent. What helped me a LOT was having a good friend who was somehow always there for me to talk to for a very long time. I'm not sure how or why he did this for me. He always propped me back up when I was faltering. Maybe that's what LS can be for you!

 

Also, the passing of time has helped with the agonizing, unreachable pain. It has faded some. Dulled a bit. You may bounce back sooner than you think, especially considering your young age. I so know what you mean about wanting to take back the years you were with him so you don't have to go through this agony now. It really makes one wonder about ever getting involved again if this is the inherent risk.

 

The mornings are the worst. I know. Try to distract yourself with anything. And we are always here for you to turn to. There's always someone around who will be happy to give you a boost back up!!!

 

Yes. Exactly what I felt for a while. I am having a phase where on one hand i am scared of getting into any future relationships and on the other hand I cant wait for a better future with someone who would love me. And yea, the pain goes away but will the void feeling go away as well?

 

Yes he did reject me and my love. He completly left me devastated not asking once how I was holding on. And. this sucks.

 

I have met so many people on Ls who have had worse and are still holding on amazingly well. You, zahara, dreamingoftiger and the rest of the people. When i am down or having a breakdown I just come on here to vent it like an old friend and it does help.

[RaidDolEm78]

Just popping in to see how you're doing. This past week whenever I started to get any thoughts that I didn't want to be stuck on thinking, I just kept telling myself "I don't care, I don't care, I don't care" repeating it until I focused on doing something else or subconsciously I changed what I was thinking. I really don't want to be stuck anymore and he REALLY doesn't deserve to be in my mind any more.

[bubblesbursted]

I woke up today feeling better for a change. I had a

dream about him. And funny thing is I dreamt he

contacted me and i was scared to break NC so I didnt

reply. And for a change today after waking up i dont feel

like a mess anymore

 

Though im scared what if the day gets worse?

[bubblesbursted]

Just popping in to see how you're doing. This past week whenever I started to get any thoughts that I didn't want to be stuck on thinking, I just kept telling myself "I don't care, I don't care, I don't care" repeating it until I focused on doing something else or subconsciously I changed what I was thinking. I really don't want to be stuck anymore and he REALLY doesn't deserve to be in my mind any more.

 

That is the spirit! You are doing wonderful

[guest572]

Glad you are starting to feel better. There will still be ups and downs but at least you will start to feel better some of the time, sounds like progress.

[bubblesbursted]

Iam in pain. right now. I just cant. The reason - the girl I blame for this. Its like she is rubbing it on my face. Her status on whatsapp "Going to N's home" (n - ex) and I see her pic its a pic in which me , my ex and she was there . That girl, lets call her S has cropped me out of there. I asked another of my friends if its hust her or did Nate also change his dp and my friend said it was the same pic. Cropping me out. And also told me that S has been posting all those pictures with him saying she missed him and all. I was perfectly ok till now but now its just too much to take. I cant

[bubblesbursted]

anyone please.

[guest572]

Can you delete that girl from whats app? Sorry i am unfamiliar with this program. Although you are avoiding contact with him you are still copping it through her and your friends

[k10k]

Exactly has Brightnight says - delete that girl as a contact.

 

Put a protective bubble around you Bubbles - reclaim your power & energy, do not focus on him & her whatsoever.

 

I know, easier said than done, but maybe try a technique I read about - tie a rubber band around your wrist and every time you begin to think of him/her, just pull the rubber band and say "stop" - then take a deep breath and then think of a mantra/affirmation that makes you feel stronger, something like:

 

"There is someone better for me out there"

"I am healing"

"It doesn't matter"

"I'm letting this pain go now"

"I'm reclaiming my power"

"I am whole and perfect even though my relationship has ended"

 

There's so much support for you here, take comfort in that too

[bubblesbursted]

Can you delete that girl from whats app? Sorry i am unfamiliar with this program. Although you are avoiding contact with him you are still copping it through her and your friends

 

Yes I can do that. And I cant believe it but you are right. I dont even know why I asked about him in the first place.

 

Now I regret asking , the pain was too much.

 

Exactly has Brightnight says - delete that girl as a contact.

 

Put a protective bubble around you Bubbles - reclaim your power & energy, do not focus on him & her whatsoever.

 

I know, easier said than done, but maybe try a technique I read about - tie a rubber band around your wrist and every time you begin to think of him/her, just pull the rubber band and say "stop" - then take a deep breath and then think of a mantra/affirmation that makes you feel stronger, something like:

 

"There is someone better for me out there"

"I am healing"

"It doesn't matter"

"I'm letting this pain go now"

"I'm reclaiming my power"

"I am whole and perfect even though my relationship has ended"

 

There's so much support for you here, take comfort in that too

 

I will chant that mantra. I was out wuth my friend but what sucks is , she lives near his home & the entire time I was going to her home , I was avoiding looking towards his home. All I could say was "I dont care" ,"i dont care" . It sucks.

[dreamingoftigers]

Oh goodness. That is so ridiculous.

 

Yes cut all avenues of contact with her for sure.

 

Is he at the same school as you or something?

[dontgiveuponme]

Hello Bubbles,

 

Ive been reading this today and we are in the same situation..January 26 when my fiancee of 3 years broke up with me then i found out that hes seeing girls while we are still together..

But unlike you i cant cry and i dont even know why but it hurts so bad that i feel like puking..First 3 dnights i cant sleep well coz i have nightmares and morning are the worst waking up thinking is it really over?or is he really gone?

One thing that hurts more is he is happy out there with a new girl and im so miserable in my room..

 

I just wish this pain will go away soon..

[bubblesbursted]

Thank you for your suggestions.

I removed her

 

Today I am kind of feeling okay. The only thing that is pushing me back is some of the people commenting how I looked like a mess. I mean what else do you all expect? I cant look perfectly ok can I? So today I went to saloon got myself fixed as most of the people suggested. To feel good, look good. Dont know if its working or not but I do feel better. I mean yea, today is an up tomorrow might be a down but right now I dont really care about what he is doing but yea when I think about him ,it stings a little but I feel anger towards him right now.

 

Oh & he is coming over friday to pick his stuff (MIGHT come over I dont really trust his commitments, I didnt contact asked C my friend) , since his stuff is laying all around. I wont be home. I dont want to face him but I have been thinking since he has been too keen to show me he is happy and all and rub it on my face why cant I do the same? I was thinking of putting some new pics around with my friends (since I dont think I look like a mess anymore). I just want to deliver a message to him loud and clear and that is : YOU SUCK!

So is it a bad idea? Doing some changes to show him leaving me was the best thing of my life?