Do You Work Out For Yourself Or For Them?

[MrCastle]

And is it necessarily bad if you work out for them?

 

Let me explain.

 

I'm skinny. Not dangerously, scary skinny, but skinny nonetheless. Personally, I prefer being skinny. I was husky as a teen, so to get those pounds off and be slim to me, is a step up. I also think my face looks better structurally when it's thin and my cheeks are somewhat sunken in. Again, not to the point where I look malnourished, but a slim, angular face, on my body, is more attractive than a round one.

 

However, I know, that skinny is not most women's "thing." You don't need to be ripped, but I'd wager if given the choice between skinny and somewhat defined, most women would pick defined.

 

So, for the past few months, I have been working out. I love my arms, I love the v-shape, and my face is 50/50. My jawline looks more defined, box looking, and overall more "masculine," I guess, but my face is a little rounder as well. I miss the sharp chin and sunken cheeks. But body wise, there is no doubt I'm getting more looks from women and as a result, feel more confident.

 

My issue is - I feel like I'm doing this more to increase my dating pool and less because I genuinely like working out and getting built. I really think if I had the choice to be skinny or defined, and I knew my dating pool would be the same, I'd stay skinny.

 

Anyway, that whole thing was just to ask this question: do you work out for yourself or for them? And is it bad if you're working out for them?

[GorillaTheater]

do you work out for yourself or for them? And is it bad if you're working out for them?

 

Myself.

 

Take it from an old guy: if you aren't doing it for yourself, it ain't going to last.

[somedude81]

For them 100%.

 

I'm a little heavier than I want to be but other than that I'm completely fine with my body and the amount of muscle I have.

 

Frankly I have no need for any more muscle and I'd be perfectly fine for the rest of my life if I never went to the gym again.

 

But the muscle is used to attract women. It has no other purpose. None whatsoever.

 

I hate working out. It's boring and makes me sore. But I do it all for the nookie.

[regine_phalange]

I think even the fact that you "do it for others" is selfish in the end (in a good way).

 

The only unselfish way to workout would be if your muscle transferred magically to someone else after your workout, while you'd stay skinny

[MrCastle]

Myself.

 

Take it from an old guy: if you aren't doing it for yourself, it ain't going to last.

 

Yeah. I don't hate working out, it's just an inconvenience at times. It's almost a face/body thing I think. My face looks better skinny, my body looks better defined. Maybe there's a way I can get both. Diet changes or something.

[MrCastle]

For them 100%.

 

I'm a little heavier than I want to be but other than that I'm completely fine with my body and the amount of muscle I have.

 

Frankly I have no need for any more muscle and I'd be perfectly fine for the rest of my life if I never went to the gym again.

 

But the muscle is used to attract women. It has no other purpose. None whatsoever.

 

I hate working out. It's boring and makes me sore. But I do it all for the nookie.

 

That's what I'm saying. If women didn't voice their attraction for definition/muscles I probably wouldn't be working out. I would just eat healthy and continue being skinny. But I know based on what I've heard and seen, guys that work out have an upperhand, and I can understand why. I'm not upset about it, because I have a choice to join that group. But if my dating pool stayed the same size, then I'd choose to be skinny.

[MrCastle]

I think even the fact that you "do it for others" is selfish in the end (in a good way).

 

The only unselfish way to workout would be if your muscle transferred magically to someone else after your workout, while you'd stay skinny

 

true.

 

I don't know. I think a considerable amount of people work out for others. How many girls that do squats and other butt exercises do it because they honestly want a better butt and how many do it because they know a lot of guys are into tight round butts?

[tinker683]

When I first started working out, it was out of self-loathing. I had just broken up with my ex and I was feeling incredibly unattractive and undesirable. So when I started working out, it was a way of me proving to myself and to her that I could be something more. I literally had the mindset of, "I'm going to turn myself into someone you'll REGRET leaving behind!!"

 

 

Weeeell...that lasted about a month. After a month, I actually started liking to work out. It made me feel powerful and strong and REALLY good about myself, which was something I needed at the time.

 

 

I've gained a little over 10 pounds since I started working out back in May of 2013. People tell me that I look a little bigger, more defined. I know I'm physically stronger because I can DO a lot more than I did when I first started.

 

 

And mostly... I'm feel like I'm part of a group now, as goofy as that may sound. I go to the gym and I start doing my thing and I see even seasoned bodybuilders giving me nods of respect. My dad and my brother, who started going to the same gym that I do, told me that they were impressed at the way I was working out. I have found a place that I feel at home at... and I wasn't at all even intending for it to develop like this.

 

 

And that... is freaking AWESOME. That's been a huge ego boost and that's part of what keeps me going.

 

 

The other thing that keeps me going is now... I HAVE to work out. If I miss a day, I feel really off balance. I never understood when people say, "you get addicted to going to the gym" what that meant as that sounded like crazy talk to me.

 

 

Now? I understand why.

[regine_phalange]

true.

 

I don't know. I think a considerable amount of people work out for others. How many girls that do squats and other butt exercises do it because they honestly want a better butt and how many do it because they know a lot of guys are into tight round butts?

 

Mmm, again I think it becomes egoistical, because men may like the round butts, but women like it too on themselves.

 

What if men liked cellulite?

 

I don't know. You men are confusing. I've had someone complaining about my abs (I dont have a six pack, they are girly and barely noticeable) After some months I gained some more pounds (he cooked and fed me all the time like a grandma ) and he was like "whoa!". But it didn't make me feel nice about myself and wanted to lose them.

 

**Strong glutes are handy when you have to go to a public toilet. Most women know what I mean

[MrCastle]

Mmm, again I think it becomes egoistical, because men may like the round butts, but women like it too on themselves.

 

What if men liked cellulite?

 

I don't know. You men are confusing. I've had someone complaining about my abs (I dont have a six pack, they are girly and barely noticeable) After some months I gained some more pounds (he cooked and fed me all the time like a grandma ) and he was like "whoa!". But it didn't make me feel nice about myself and wanted to lose them.

 

**Strong glutes are handy when you have to go to a public toilet. Most women know what I mean

 

But that's what I mean -- if cellulite was in, women wouldn't work out as rigorously.

 

If skinny was in, or fat was in, how many men would work out?

 

I think there is a small core of people who genuinely do like working out and do it for them and only them -- but part of me can't shake the fact that most of us are working out for other people, and if that's the case, are we better off being who we want to be, knowing that it will affect our romantic life? Or should we push through and work out anyway?

[clia]

I work out 100% for me. Working out makes me feel better, it makes me feel healthier, it makes me feel stronger, it makes me look better, which makes shopping for new clothes and going to the beach a hell of a lot more fun...all of which leads to me being a happier person.

 

I'm not sure I could stay motivated to do it if it wasn't for me.

[Madman81]

I work out for me. One of my most annoying character traits is my tendency to compare myself to others; it makes me feel bad if I think they've accomplished more than I have at the same point in life. Thus I sometimes have to remind myself of the things I've accomplished, and in particular the things I've accomplished that have taken a lot of time and effort and that I've only achieved because I've persevered at them. Those are the things in my life that I'm most proud of.

 

Thus, transforming myself physically, from a pudgy out-of-shape middle-aged guy to a healthy, vital, strong, in-shape middle aged guy is a personal project that fits nicely into this. I know it's a gradual process that requires dedication and perseverance, but I'm okay with that (of course, I just need to stick to it!). So far, I've dropped 9 lbs (239 to 230) and it's going well.

[tman666]

I think there's plenty of people that exercise/lift/run/etc. because they actually love it. For some people, it makes them feel good. Like they've accomplished something.

 

Personally speaking, I don't "work out" for the sake of just doing it. I train for a sport that I love, so going to the gym is something I look forward to immensely. If I was ever unable to do what I do, I would find something else active to do (probably something like a martial art, trail running, hiking, swimming, etc.) since I find that exercise helps me clear my head and feel good. Sort of like hitting the "reset" button.

 

To add: my wife is my training partner. She's a very competitive person, and driven to better herself. Powerlifting gives her an outlet for that. She does squats because she loves putting up big numbers and breaking records. Having a tight round butt is just icing on the cake for her.

Edited January 30, 2014 by tman666

[regine_phalange]

But that's what I mean -- if cellulite was in, women wouldn't work out as rigorously.

 

If skinny was in, or fat was in, how many men would work out?

 

I think there is a small core of people who genuinely do like working out and do it for them and only them -- but part of me can't shake the fact that most of us are working out for other people, and if that's the case, are we better off being who we want to be, knowing that it will affect our romantic life? Or should we push through and work out anyway?

 

Oh, I see! Yes, that's a point.

 

Some women like muscular men, some others slim men, or men with some extra meat on their bones. What if 100 women you are not into drool over your arms, but the one woman you are attracted to actually prefers slim guys?

[MrCastle]

Oh, I see! Yes, that's a point.

 

Some women like muscular men, some others slim men, or men with some extra meat on their bones. What if 100 women you are not into drool over your arms, but the one woman you are attracted to actually prefers slim guys?

 

Then that would suck. It seems to me being skinny is more niche. It's not as mainstream in terms of appeal. Sure, there are women who like skinny guys and may even prefer them, but I'd say that number is low compared to the amount of women that want a guy with some muscle and firmness.

 

I don't know by how much I've enlarged my dating pool, but I'm sure it's significant.

 

I prefer curvier women, and I think some women with curves think a skinny guy can't "handle them," sexually. But pack on some weight/muscle, now I don't look so skrawny, suddenly those girls who wouldn't have given me a chance before are checking me out. That's how I see it.

[dichotomy]

50/50 or some floating mix.

 

I am a late in life dad, and if wanted to be there and functional and active for my child - have her see me healthy - so is that for me or for my kid?

 

Professionally in my field - I get better notice if I am not overweight - so is that for me or others willingness to hire me or pay me more?

 

When I first worked out - there was probably more of a "doing for female attention/self-esteem". At first it was mostly weight loss - rather than muscle. And that got a lot of notice from girls and gays. I sure did like the notice and comments (gay men are a little more blatant in their comments)

 

But lately - I put on some belly fat due to poor diet, but I kept up on increasing weight lifting - and my size and strength has grown.

 

Personally just for me - the pursuit of "strong/Big" is what I kind of like and if I lived in a cabin in the woods I might actually go for even stronger/bigger -but I realize I am starting to look "a little" like a power lifter - which is not generally attractive to anyone - women or my profession - its intimidating. Also shirts are harder to find now and fit right.

 

So I am trying to get back on the diet, and cardio, and adjust weight lifting - and trim down - for appearance sakes of others. Hopefully by end of summer I will have cut a pant size and get a bit more lean muscle.

 

So it’s complicated why i do it.

Edited January 30, 2014 by dichotomy

[Imported]

I worked out before where I was heavily into lifting and getting bigger. I got big enough to the point where women told me I looked too big.

 

I workout because it is just what I do now. Pay taxes, do the laundry, workout and so on. How I have worked out has changed because of women.

 

I use to just lift and I would eat a lot. Big arms? Check! Really looking at myself, I had become bulky, husky...shorter looking. It was an "un=natural" looking build. Obviously gym built. I decided to change that because of women.

 

Turns out I don't really have to lift much to be muscular looking. I trimmed down in size, went for a more stretched elongated build. I lift a little, swim and run a lot. Lifts are just deadlifts, push-ups, dips and pull-ups. It's very simple. For me, this has been much better for "getting girls" than just lifting and being very muscular.

 

No, I don't workout for girls, but I have changed how I workout for girls. However, it has become normal for me and I love doing it.

 

I am really looking forward to the summer!! I swim year-round, but summer time swimming is the best!

[InnocentMan]

Lifting a book will always get you a better class of woman than lifting lumps of metal. By all means, exercise to stay fit, but your body shape won't change that much, unless you become obsessed with it. Most serious lifters have the personality of a stamp. Don't lower yourself to try compete with them.

 

You should get yourself over here Mr C. The curvy chicks will have sex with anyone, even skinny obnoxious twats like me.

[MrCastle]

Lifting a book will always get you a better class of woman than lifting lumps of metal. By all means, exercise to stay fit, but your body shape won't change that much, unless you become obsessed with it. Most serious lifters have the personality of a stamp. Don't lower yourself to try compete with them.

 

You should get yourself over here Mr C. The curvy chicks will have sex with anyone, even skinny obnoxious twats like me.

 

I have actually considered taking a trip to England so I may be there sooner than you think

 

I just feel like, by being skinny (it seems) I'm limiting myself to women who are skinny as well. Petite, skinny women. While I don't mind them, I'd also like average build women and curvy women. And a lot of those girls feel like they need to date a "bigger" man. Whether because they like the actual appearance of muscles, or just being wider/bulkier makes the man look more masculine and in turn makes her feel more feminine, or a combo of both. I want to maximize my dating pool, not be in a niche market.

 

If I can do that by working out to get a body that most women would find attractive, so be it. I don't want to be a niche guy.

[xxoo]

I do it for me.

 

The only man whose opinion matters to me is my partner's opinion, and I know first hand that he is JUST as into me when I'm not in running-shape. He wanted me when I was super skinny, when I was pregnant, when I was carrying a few extra after the babies--he's appreciated every shape I've had with great enthusiasm

 

I like the rush I get after a workout, and I like how running or doing Insanity "shuts off" my brain and gives me a mental break, I like feeling strong, looking toned and fitting in clothes easily, I like staying strong and limber to prevent injury as I age, etc. I work out for my own physical and mental health.

[ctxinfl]

Bit of both for me. I've dropped over 30 pounds in the past 10 months and put on some muscle, maybe 7 pounds. I feel tons better. More energy. More confidence. And I can keep up with my daughter better.

 

Originally I had also wanted to look better for my STBX, though that isn't a concern now. I will say that I've a met wonderful young lady who loves my improved musculature. So that's an added bonus.

[dichotomy]

I have actually considered taking a trip to England so I may be there sooner than you think

 

I just feel like, by being skinny (it seems) I'm limiting myself to women who are skinny as well. Petite, skinny women. While I don't mind them, I'd also like average build women and curvy women. And a lot of those girls feel like they need to date a "bigger" man. Whether because they like the actual appearance of muscles, or just being wider/bulkier makes the man look more masculine and in turn makes her feel more feminine, or a combo of both. I want to maximize my dating pool, not be in a niche market.

 

If I can do that by working out to get a body that most women would find attractive, so be it. I don't want to be a niche guy.

 

 

You can go too much the other way as well. Skinny, or petite women would be slighly intimadated by a guy my size, and frankly I don''t see much in them either cause I don't want to break them:o. So curvey women work for me just fine.

 

Its a Goldilocks thing I suppose - not too skinny, not too big - just right.... to get with them all.

[MrCastle]

You can go too much the other way as well. Skinny, or petite women would be slighly intimadated by a guy my size, and frankly I don''t see much in them either cause I don't want to break them:o. So curvey women work for me just fine.

 

Its a Goldilocks thing I suppose - not too skinny, not too big - just right.... to get with them all.

 

Yeah. That's what I'm going for. Just like, for example, my dress style is very mainstream. T-shirt and jeans. It's not some wacky super artsy getup that only hipsters would dig, or something urban that only likeminded people would wear. I'm very approachable in terms of that, which is why I think every girl who has shown interest in me has been different. There really is no pattern in who I date culturally.

 

But yeah, skinny is niche I think. I love it. Wish I could be that way forever, but I know it'll affect what kind of women would dig me. The larger net you cast, the more you improve your odds of finding someone great.

[JDPT]

It's all about ME.

I work out to feel good, look good and of course attempt to maintain a healthy lifestyle.

[Robert Z]

Myself.

 

Take it from an old guy: if you aren't doing it for yourself, it ain't going to last.

 

 

It has kept me going for three years.

 

 

I want to take care of myself for me, but what really makes me get off my butt and get down there each night is the thought of getting naked in front of beautiful women - in particular, you know who. Now that I am looking forward and am meeting more women, all of the hard work is definitely paying off. I'm looking good and the women are noticing.

 

 

For me, for the last three years, sex has been the motivation for pretty much everything.