Do You Work Out For Yourself Or For Them?

[BOREDouttaMymind]

I do it for both.

 

ive been skinny my whole life, but also abused. what can a 131 pound guy do to defend himself? I go to the gym to get bigger so I can feel both better about myself and ward off the jerkholes.

 

id never want to be 131 again. I remember how painful my elbows would be whenever I leaned them on a table. straight bone on wood.

[ascendotum]

I remember how painful my elbows would be whenever I leaned them on a table. straight bone on wood.

 

Or backside on wooden benches or legs when a big girl sat on your lap. lol

 

Different motivations at different times in my life.

I was really scrawny but happy enough in my teens, but spending time at the surf or beach I did become more self conscious of my build + watching how my better build friends had it easier with girls and also being at a higher level in the social hierarchy made me want to change things. Motivation was mostly for my own self esteem.

In my 20s - It was primarily for self esteem + also for girls as time went on + also for the endorphins. The times I bulked up (would also get sick and lose a lot too so a lot of it was water retention & fat) it made a huge difference in how I got treated especially with girls.

In my 30s - It was still for self esteem + also for women + also for career.

In my 40s - Its is still for self esteem + also as part of a healthy lifestyle + also as a past time (I still enjoy it though its frustrating when I lose weight in summer)

 

I think most of the people here who I gather are long term gym goers are sincere when they say they do it for themselves, but I believe a lot of the people do it to boost their dating prospects. Lots of people come and go in the gym after they achieve their goals. Lots of people drop activities when they get a bf/gf. Its hard to draw the line at boosting self esteem (yourself) & improving your prospects in love (for others) as they are very much entwined for the single gym goer.

[Emilia]

I think most of the people here who I gather are long term gym goers are sincere when they say they do it for themselves, but I believe a lot of the people do it to boost their dating prospects. Lots of people come and go in the gym after they achieve their goals. Lots of people drop activities when they get a bf/gf. Its hard to draw the line at boosting self esteem (yourself) & improving your prospects in love (for others) as they are very much entwined for the single gym goer.

Especially when other with similar views become part of your social life.

 

I went down to my local boxing gym last night. Hadn't been there for months and only did really because had nothing better to do with the tube strike in London and that. No friends around. I was prepared for a complete slaughter as my current fitness regime is different from anaerobic training.

 

It turned out to be awesome The guy that runs the gym is a friend of mine, he is having a pro fight next month and invited me giving me a ticket. While the conditioning and training itself hurt, I still got a massive kick of endorphins and adrenalin out of it. Went home buzzing. Annoying my sister because I was climbing the walls after despite running back home.

 

Endorphins, oxytocin and adrenalin in one go. Awesome mix

[Taramere]

Especially when other with similar views become part of your social life.

 

I went down to my local boxing gym last night. Hadn't been there for months and only did really because had nothing better to do with the tube strike in London and that. No friends around. I was prepared for a complete slaughter as my current fitness regime is different from anaerobic training.

 

It turned out to be awesome The guy that runs the gym is a friend of mine, he is having a pro fight next month and invited me giving me a ticket. While the conditioning and training itself hurt, I still got a massive kick of endorphins and adrenalin out of it. Went home buzzing. Annoying my sister because I was climbing the walls after despite running back home.

 

Endorphins, oxytocin and adrenalin in one go. Awesome mix

 

I've been trying to do a bit more high intensity stuff and weight training lately, instead of my usual "chug away on the elliptical trainer while listening to my ipod/watching tv". I was really quite surprised last night. I didn't feel as though I'd done that much. Lifted some 6 kg dumbbells a bit (I'm not sufficiently into it yet to speak the jargon) and on the treadmill I did sporadic sprints of 12 km per hour for 45 seconds each - maybe about four times - then to wind down had a very leisurely swim where I really didn't exert myself.

 

When I got home, though, I was straight into my pyjamas - read the pc a bit and then went to bed and slept really soundly.

 

Looking better is, of course, a huge motivator for working out...but there are so many other reasons for doing it. Staving off osteoporosis, sleeping better at night, craving healthier foods, being physically stronger and healthier which generally makes life easier. Last night was one of those nights when I seriously could not be bothered going. I left it until about 9pm - but I felt so much better for doing it.

[Emilia]

I've been trying to do a bit more high intensity stuff and weight training lately, instead of my usual "chug away on the elliptical trainer while listening to my ipod/watching tv". I was really quite surprised last night. I didn't feel as though I'd done that much. Lifted some 6 kg dumbbells a bit (I'm not sufficiently into it yet to speak the jargon) and on the treadmill I did sporadic sprints of 12 km per hour for 45 seconds each - maybe about four times - then to wind down had a very leisurely swim where I really didn't exert myself.

 

When I got home, though, I was straight into my pyjamas - read the pc a bit and then went to bed and slept really soundly.

 

Looking better is, of course, a huge motivator for working out...but there are so many other reasons for doing it. Staving off osteoporosis, sleeping better at night, craving healthier foods, being physically stronger and healthier which generally makes life easier. Last night was one of those nights when I seriously could not be bothered going. I left it until about 9pm - but I felt so much better for doing it.

Good, isn't it! When you increase intensity (whether it's weights or interval training or whatever) you don't need to spend much time doing these things. I'm only in the gym for around 90 minutes on deadlift days. During normal sessions it's an hour and that's it. No need to plan your life around your gym sessions, 3 hours a week really isn't that much.

 

And some light cardio feels sooooo good afterwards. Great way to prevent too much lactic acid building up. It's just a lovely thing to do and there is so much variety. When you enjoy what you are doing you get the motivation to learn more about it too.

[Taramere]

Good, isn't it! When you increase intensity (whether it's weights or interval training or whatever) you don't need to spend much time doing these things. I'm only in the gym for around 90 minutes on deadlift days. During normal sessions it's an hour and that's it. No need to plan your life around your gym sessions, 3 hours a week really isn't that much.

 

Yes, definitely. I quite like going at night during the week, because I do get tired afterwards so it's nice to be able to just wind down with a swim (which makes me sleep incredibly well). I can swim and swim, because I love water (though I only did 12 lengths last night) - but I'm not so keen on spending too much time in the gym.

 

I don't know if 12 km per hour can be called a sprint, but it's a sprint for me. I'm going to do eight 45 second run/sprints tonight because I definitely could have pushed myself to that, I was just really testing my new approach out. As far as the weights go I think I might need to book a session with one of the instructors to figure out how to use those machines. They're way too intimidating looking.

 

And some light cardio feels sooooo good afterwards. Great way to prevent too much lactic acid building up. It's just a lovely thing to do and there is so much variety. When you enjoy what you are doing you get the motivation to learn more about it too.

 

And I did a little yoga this morning. I just wish I could remember the 10 minute workout a friend showed me a few years ago. She learned it from Jessica Alba's trainer. It felt like nothing while I was doing it - and then a couple of hours later I could barely walk!

[skydiveaddict]

Anyway, that whole thing was just to ask this question: do you work out for yourself or for them? And is it bad if you're working out for them?

 

I do it because it keeps me healthy. And I do it to show the the 20 yr old smart asses in my squads that their 55 yr old staff sgt can still kick their backsides.

[anne1707]

I work out for myself. I reap the benefits of that - and my husband does too .

 

Oh and yes, it also feels pretty good to be fitter than most people 20/30 years younger than me.

[Eau Claire]

We do it for ourselves..and to be be more attractive,

 

However, being more attractive isnt just looks but also mutual lifestyle. I'm only attracted to a fit, healthy man. I want a fit, healthy man to be also be attracted to me. Along with being fit are lifestyle activities...we enjoy going to the gym, riding our bikes, hiking, dancing, etc.

 

My boyfriend contacted me on OLD for a variety of reasons but one was lifestyle. I also agreed to meet him for the same reason. Neither of us would be a good partner for a inactive person.

[MissBee]

Not sure if it's asking men or women too, but I do it for me. I really do. I don't care about increasing my dating pool, as I feel like I do fine and always have. I guess maybe it's different for people who never or rarely get opposite sex attention or don't ever date and they feel it's because of their looks/body, whereas for me, that hasn't been a problem so I don't work out because I think more men will like me. But I know that when I didn't/don't feel good in my body, even if my bf was saying he loved it and I looked great etc and even if a million guys tried to talk to me I was still self-conscious and not able to appreciate it or be as free about my body, even with all the outside validation. So for me, it doesn't really matter who thinks I look good, if I don't feel that way myself, it doesn't matter and I can't appreciate the "appreciation" anyway. Working out just helps me to feel strong and productive and like I'm doing something for myself and am loving myself and when I feel that way I walk a little peppier and feel a lot more confident, and maybe that radiates and more men notice, but that is a side-effect and I don't work out thinking "Once I get hot men will notice" lol.

 

Your initial posts sounds like you have a preferred look for yourself and work out to get a look you think women want or you think more women want but one that isn't really your preference. I think that can become a conflict and as others have said, may not last. If working out for "them" means you also actually genuinely feel better and "their" approval is only a bonus, then nothing is wrong IMO. But if it is totally or even more skewed to making strangers happy but you're not that gung-ho about it, I don't see the point.

 

For me, the way I see it is: there is no one look that everyone likes and even if there are, women come and women go, men come and men go, but you're still stuck with yourself, so it's better to be true to what feels most authentic to you than trying to appeal to people who may be temporary in your life anyway.

Edited February 6, 2014 by MissBee

[theonlyjuan]

I do it mainly for me but I ain't gonna complain about the attention. I work in a gym, have to stay in shape really.

 

I don't do anything to please other people

[Sivok]

Interms of attraction... I was both grossly overweight and stickly thing at different stages in my life. I actually did really well when I was overweight, and I did decent when I was skinny. The common trend? In all honestly I didn't find my body that attractive, so I focused 100% on whit and charm... That really is what matters most.

 

When I was borderline obese, two of my girlfriends were models (if we're strictly going off physical/outer beauty).

 

Now that I'm working out regularly, I do it completely for myself. To me there's no greater feeling than ending my day after a really tough workout. Does being in shape help with getting ladies?

 

Sort of. When I was overweight I was really used to women giving me the bitch masks, greeting me coldly, etc. - but I'd win them over with whit and charm. Bartenders always gave me a stone cold greeting or glare.

 

Being in shape, that mask is usually completely gone. Girls will greet me with a smile when I approach, and female bartenders are MUCH warmer to me now. Although there's a lot less bull**** to deal with in the greeting stage, the rest of the game remains the same. Doing it for yourself is key - as it's a great activity to set and accomplish goals - which in the end increases your confidence. Doing it for others... well... let's just say you'll be disappointed with how little it matters in the long run

Edited February 18, 2014 by Sivok

[MissTrudy]

75% me, 25% them. I like my body the way it is most of the time, I have curves in all the right places but I want to be more toned and I could lose a few pounds so that I am healthier. Some of the clothing styles I like don't work because I have a big chest and big butt/thighs, and I want to see if losing weight all over will help ameliorate the problem. I am a scientist so I will do the experiment.

 

I have an active life so I need to be in the best shape possible so that I can do everything I love. I could definitely be more in-shape so I am working on losing weight, toning up, and increasing my endurance so I can do more outdoor activities more effectively.

 

I get a lot of positive attention for my body already but I could definitely get more attention and that is of course a confidence boost. I also live in an area with stick-thin girls, who have no curves, and most of the guys I interact with like girls that are curvy but in shape, so if I could lose some weight I think I'd be even more desirable physically. So I will play that game and keep myself healthy in the process.

[Under The Radar]

I work out for myself; any other reason is unlikely to be sustainable for life.

 

If I was living on a deserted island it would still be important to me that I'm strong, healthy, and challenge my body.

 

If I look good in jeans and have six pack abs then it's for me first.

 

If woman approve of my appearance, because of my exercise routine, that's merely a byproduct of my lifestyle ...... and completely secondary to me.

 

Training is as much psychological as physiological to me.

 

I rather enjoy the focus and discipline it requires year after year ...... especially past 40 years of age.

 

Is it bad to work out for them? No.

 

It's the catalyst and primary motivator to exercise, for you, at the moment.

 

Nothing wrong with that.

[AnyaNova]

Both, though mostly me.

 

I am still getting used to more often than you'd think for me getting clear and obvious signs of attraction from men.

 

I would say, though that 99 percent of it is for me. My confidence, my health, my time and how I feel after I have worked out.

 

1 percent, though, is for seeing how many men see me and start playing with their hair, rubbing their nose, doing the hip/genital frame, playing the "what me looking at you?" game when I can clearly see out of the corner of my eye that they are. For getting asked out at the grocery store (must find polite way to decline in future in most cases). For men who want to harmlessly flirt. For getting asked out on more than one date. For looking in the mirror and more often than not actually thinking that I am pretty. And sometimes even beautifully. And once or twice now, perhaps even with full makeup and dress, exquisitely so (if I can say so and not lose any sense of modestly whatsoever).

 

Okay, I'm going to revise the 99 to 98. Another 1 percent is for that one specific man I like. What can I say? I'm human.

[kart180]

Both but mostly for myself. Makes me feel better after a good workout. I also do work out for them also.

[Tayken]

Lets not kid ourselves folks...we all know why most people do it. I mean just take a look at the folks doing the leisurely walk on the threadmill reading magazine and listening to MP3s whilst wearing skimpy outfits and lululemons / yoga pants

 

Same with my fellow runners outside when the weather gets hotter.....They seem to be hibernating now whilst am out there in -20 to -35 weather freezing my goolies off...I feel so lonely at times

[Ruby Slippers]

It's about 50/50 for me.

 

I eat healthy and stay active because it makes me feel good and it's good for my health.

 

But the detail work - like toning my abs and back muscles - I do that primarily because it's visually appealing and attractive.

 

Also, I inherited a good body type/structure from my mom, and I feel like I owe it to myself to make the most of the assets I was born with.

[Stay_Gold]

To the OP:

 

HAHA!!! I am in the EXACT SAME BOAT as you. I was a chubby/husky guy in grade school. When I got to college...I started to run a lot and ended up getting really skinny. Unfortunately...I have gained a little fat back when I started my full time job.

 

As of right now...I am fairly fit and am still skinny compared to how I was before BUT...

 

I HATE WORKING OUT!!!

 

Therefore...I feel that if my dating pool does not change, no matter what my body looks like now...I would rather just keep jogging/running and be skinny than work out to be toned because I hate weights/working out.

 

My 2 cents. Thanks.

[Sivok]

To the OP:

 

HAHA!!! I am in the EXACT SAME BOAT as you. I was a chubby/husky guy in grade school. When I got to college...I started to run a lot and ended up getting really skinny. Unfortunately...I have gained a little fat back when I started my full time job.

 

As of right now...I am fairly fit and am still skinny compared to how I was before BUT...

 

I HATE WORKING OUT!!!

 

Therefore...I feel that if my dating pool does not change, no matter what my body looks like now...I would rather just keep jogging/running and be skinny than work out to be toned because I hate weights/working out.

 

My 2 cents. Thanks.

 

Haha I'm the complete opposite. I LOVE lifting weights, but I can't stand cardio. I do it, but I sure don't enjoy it

Edited February 20, 2014 by Sivok

[Chocolat]

Haha I'm the complete opposite. I LOVE lifting weights, but I can't stand cardio. I do it, but I sure don't enjoy it

 

Hear, hear!

[JDPT]

I do it for ME, and of course looks I get from women .

[Emilia]

Haha I'm the complete opposite. I LOVE lifting weights, but I can't stand cardio. I do it, but I sure don't enjoy it

Same. I like weights and anaerobic workouts but anything aerobic.... I have to force myself.

[man_in_the_box]

Anyway, that whole thing was just to ask this question: do you work out for yourself or for them? And is it bad if you're working out for them?

 

Completely for myself - I'm off-limits anyway so it's irrelevant. But I do want to look in the mirror and be happy with what I see. It's a great self-esteem boost.