Author SCJACK Posted February 28, 2014 Author Share Posted February 28, 2014 Few days ago (Monday) I broke NC because I was on some sort of drug that the hospital gave me. I had an operation for my stomach and before and after I got out, my ex was the one on my mind as I was nervous and had anxiety.. I texted her saying I needed to say something?? to her and I said sorry and a few other texts. I don't know wth I was thinking... She told me "Just get rest". I told her after I woke up from resting that I would tell her another day because she had a test and I didn't want to affect that. After the drugs wore off I was thinking wth am I doing?? Stay NC.. and just stop. So that's what I've been doing for awhile. I deactivated my fb as well... today she just messaged me on viber saying "How is your tummy?" Is this some sort of breadcrumb? Or is she actually wondering how I'm doing...? I thought she would never text me again for a very long time. But I was wrong... Link to post Share on other sites
Never Again Posted March 1, 2014 Share Posted March 1, 2014 It's not a breadcrumb per se. If she knew you were having this operation and you texted her, she's just being nice. I'd just say "Fine, thanks" and keep quiet going forward. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SCJACK Posted March 1, 2014 Author Share Posted March 1, 2014 It's not a breadcrumb per se. If she knew you were having this operation and you texted her, she's just being nice. I'd just say "Fine, thanks" and keep quiet going forward. Okay thanks, I didn't want to just completely ignore since she had the decency to ask how my stomach was... Link to post Share on other sites
Author SCJACK Posted March 1, 2014 Author Share Posted March 1, 2014 ugh.. okay well she replied "how bad was it?" Is she trying to make a conversation with this?? Link to post Share on other sites
lvroflife Posted March 1, 2014 Share Posted March 1, 2014 YOU REACHED OUT TO HER, SO i DOUBT ITS CRUMBS! But just say "it wasn't that bad, I will recover 100%.. thanks for checking...take care" Link to post Share on other sites
legion113 Posted March 1, 2014 Share Posted March 1, 2014 Geez, don't use your illness to try to lure her back. that's like threatening suicide or some other manipulative gesture. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SCJACK Posted March 12, 2014 Author Share Posted March 12, 2014 (edited) It's been a week since she basically told me off after I gave her sort of an ultimatum and she just texted me saying "how u doing?" Honestly I don't know why she would say something like that as if she were pretending that she cares and asking how i'm doing or how i'm feeling.... I didn't reply to it.. but some friends keep telling me don't stoop down to her level of stubborness and just say something but low contact... what should I do? I know how it feels when someone basically ignores your text especially if it says "seen". I don't really care what she thinks at this point but I just wanna be a "ass" by ignoring and turning her away. Which I guess doesn't matter since if she were mature enough she'd understand why I was ignoring. Edited March 12, 2014 by SCJACK Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 It's been a week since she basically told me off after I gave her sort of an ultimatum and she just texted me saying "how u doing?" Honestly I don't know why she would say something like that as if she were pretending that she cares and asking how i'm doing or how i'm feeling.... I didn't reply to it.. but some friends keep telling me don't stoop down to her level of stubborness and just say something but low contact... what should I do? I know how it feels when someone basically ignores your text especially if it says "seen". I don't really care what she thinks at this point but I just wanna be a "ass" by ignoring and turning her away. Which I guess doesn't matter since if she were mature enough she'd understand why I was ignoring. :confused::confused::confused: You have her an ultimatum (which never works) and told you off. What more else do you need here? What does it matter what she feels? You guys arent together anymore. You arent under some contract to talk to her. Doesnt matter. What matters is you healing. Keep doing it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SCJACK Posted March 12, 2014 Author Share Posted March 12, 2014 :confused::confused::confused: You have her an ultimatum (which never works) and told you off. What more else do you need here? What does it matter what she feels? You guys arent together anymore. You arent under some contract to talk to her. Doesnt matter. What matters is you healing. Keep doing it. Well It wasn't really much of an ultimatum.. just I said some emotional stuff while I was dose on medicines.. Something along the lines of if i ever meant anything to you, .... basically give me another chance.. I know didn't go the way I wanted but that was basically the final straw for me. She told me that if i keep talking like that she can't talk to me anymore because it's already hard enough for her.. which i don't get how it's so hard but okay.. so i just left it at that.. anyways i'll just keep ignoring.. Link to post Share on other sites
bubbaganoosh Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 Even though she treated me like crap, didn't really show me care, took me for granted, and didn't really seem to appreciate the things I did. I should be mad or angry but I'm not. I feel like I need to get hate, and anger feelings towards her and I'll be able to finally let go. At this point I shouldn't even care if I appear weak to her. I know I have the "upper hand and power" doing NC. Truth be told,if you keep this up two things will happen. The first is you will never be able to heal because you don't know when to stop. Move on and you will heal and find someone else. She treated you like crap and didn't show you affection. Why? because it's not there and you have a chance to move on and find a girl that will treat you right but if you keep dogging her, she's going to think your a royal pain in the ass. Move on friend. It was only a two month relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SCJACK Posted March 12, 2014 Author Share Posted March 12, 2014 (edited) Yeah so she texted me earlier saying "so your not gonna answer me now? Ur choice ..." WTF wow... i'm basically doing what she asked me to do.. basically focus on my self and clear my mind and basically move on. Now she act like I'M the one who threw away the friendship. Nope... I've always been here she was the one who left, she was the one who didn't want me to care for her obviously. So when I'm finally not doing that, she tells me this... She acts like she's doing me a favor by being my friend. Hell I don't even want it at this point. I don't gain anything from it... why does she expect me to stay and talk to her when she didn't even talk to me few weeks ago and kept giving me short replies and avoiding me. To me it looks like she's the one who doesn't want to be friends. I'm just giving her what she wanted....-.- Edited March 12, 2014 by SCJACK Link to post Share on other sites
David87 Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 Don't feel sorry, you did the right thing. She's the one who threw away everything you guys had. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SCJACK Posted March 12, 2014 Author Share Posted March 12, 2014 Don't feel sorry, you did the right thing. She's the one who threw away everything you guys had. I feel like I did do the right thing but deep down I hate being "the bad guy" even though It's good sometimes to avoid being a doormat. My ex doesn't like being ignored and the fact that she got mad makes me alittle upset. She basically did that to me when she got distant over the holidays and even after the breakup while I attempted to be friends. She basically ignored me for a day or two or maybe more and I never complained about that. But 1 text from her and I ignore her for basically 1 day and she goes ape****. It's like she didn't even send multiple text to make sure but instead tells me something negative to put me down. I feel like she's just blind to it all. She doesn't even know that it's kind of necessary for me to ignore her to move on and I told her I didn't want to be friends like this and that's what she's doing to me and I don't want it. I just feel like she thinks she's the good one and is angry because I ignore her once or twice and acts like she never did anything to me. But when I do it back to her.. she takes upon it negatively against me.. it's like she expects me to answer her question or demands a response. If she wanted a response friends don't always have to reply.. she threw that all away. I don't even think it matters if I responded since I don't think she even cares "how am i doing" I never get any good responses from her anyway recently. If she wanted me to care about her, I gave it to her. In the relationship and even after, but after a certain time limit of her basically pushing me away, I got the impression that she doesn't want me to care for her. I'm just doing what she basically wants... and she's getting angry over it. She just doesn't understand... she thinks she knows it all.... One friend always tells me to reply and don't be stubborn and stoop down to anybody's level. Everyone else tells me no contact. I shouldn't care but I still know she hates being ignored and I don't really want to lose her for good. I hope she understands soon once she realize what she's doing... Link to post Share on other sites
jphcbpa Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 you do not need her validation or approval. her reaction is her reaction. do not take it personal. you are already approved and validated. let her be Link to post Share on other sites
a708 Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 This is her trying to protect herself and make her seem like the good guy man. Ignore her. If you don't reply she won't get the satisfaction. Its BS, i don't know why they do it. It shows me how immature she is. My ex did the same. Its like they cannot face the consequences of what they did. She probably knows you were decent to her, nothing wrong in the relationship etc. Like i said.. i don't know why they do it. Probably their ego. By making you look like the bad guy and making you forgive her it eases her guilt/pain/anger/everything. F'kin stupid. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SCJACK Posted March 13, 2014 Author Share Posted March 13, 2014 Just coming on to vent a bit... I've just been bothered by what she said to me after I ignored her the "so your not gonna answer me now? your choice..." when you read the text it says "seen" so she knew I saw the message. I hate being the mean one.. I feel I am too nice, and I'm not doing this to hurt her or be like oh you screwed me over so fk you (even though she basically did) I'm just doing it to heal and move on... basically what she wants me to do... to clear my mind and focus on myself.. which is what I'm doing.. but I guess she thinks it's okay to text me once in a week.. but doesn't realize it will hurt me and make things worse.. just like how I still have feelings for her and If i talk to her it will prob make things worse for her too.. I know she doesn't like being ignored.. but doing so might make me lose her forever, and I don't want to lose her deep down.. would it really hurt to just keep low contact and say "i'm fine" it's basically too late to say it now after she said those texts to me.. Link to post Share on other sites
lolablue17 Posted March 13, 2014 Share Posted March 13, 2014 (edited) NC is crucial!!! Go and date other girls. move on. Your reactions can be explained if you had a 5-10 years relationship, but you had it for 2 month??!!!! Dont answer her. She dumped you, you walk away! do you want to impress her? so be a man! now you're all over her. How do you think you're going to heal with this attitude? Edited March 13, 2014 by lolablue17 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SCJACK Posted March 13, 2014 Author Share Posted March 13, 2014 Yeah I made the mistake of telling her I'm different then other guys and wouldn't leave her as a friend... and yeah basically I wouldn't but under these real bad circumstances... who would stay? and why would she expect that from me after what she put me through? Link to post Share on other sites
a708 Posted March 13, 2014 Share Posted March 13, 2014 You're in the same position as i was. You don't want to come across as a d*ck. But you really shouldn't even care anymore. I got to this point, it took me a while but i thought f*ck it.. she finished with me. Why should i be helping her nurse her own problems. You owe her nothing. I wish i'd gone NC sooner, because i think i did make her feel better about the situation whilst i was feeling crap. Cos she was texting me still, had me hooked. and she knew it. It winds me up thinking about it all because i was so stupid. Dont make the same mistake dude. Cut her off. Make her realise what shes lost and get on with your life. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
David87 Posted March 13, 2014 Share Posted March 13, 2014 She made this mess, let her deal with it. Now it's the perfect time to disappear. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SCJACK Posted March 13, 2014 Author Share Posted March 13, 2014 You're in the same position as i was. You don't want to come across as a d*ck. But you really shouldn't even care anymore. I got to this point, it took me a while but i thought f*ck it.. she finished with me. Why should i be helping her nurse her own problems. You owe her nothing. I wish i'd gone NC sooner, because i think i did make her feel better about the situation whilst i was feeling crap. Cos she was texting me still, had me hooked. and she knew it. It winds me up thinking about it all because i was so stupid. Dont make the same mistake dude. Cut her off. Make her realise what shes lost and get on with your life. What could she be thinking now that I ignored her? That I don't want to have to do with anything with her anymore so in result she won't contact me anymore..? Wouldn't she appreciate it more if I didn't ignore her which means better chance at her reconciling in the future? I know it hurts me not ignoring her and will make my healing process longer keeping in contact but it also hurts me knowing that I'm doing this to her and making her mad. I know I shouldn't care.. but I still do :/ I just don't want to do anything that will mess up chances of reconcilation and have that bad image of me.. One friend that I have suggest that I don't ignore her, he always says this and for whatever reason I'm not too sure because being nice and stuff he thinks is better chances for me than me being "mean" by ignoring.. any input on this? Link to post Share on other sites
a708 Posted March 13, 2014 Share Posted March 13, 2014 You should explain to her why you want to go no contact. By saying I think we should have some time where we don't speak, you can both figure out what you want. You could let her know how you feel. But once done you need to leave it alone for a bit. Be nice about it, you don't have to be mean. No girl likes a d*ck. You can just outline that with the way you feel, talking is just a bit hard at the moment. If you say you'll be friends.. You will be friendzoned. You don't want that... It means you're a doormat. You're not a doormat. You didn't get this girl by being a doormat, in her eyes you were an alpha male. That's why she was attracted in the first place. This is why begging, pleading doesn't work.. It makes you a beta male. And girls want guys who are strong and independent. By going no contact after laying out your thoughts, it gives you direction. You know you've said everything you wanted to. She will know how you feel. Now you can get on with your life. If she comes back cool. If not you're already starting to recover. Just remember what you were like before this girl. Hope it helps man. Feel free not to take my advice.. But I'm trying to help not hinder. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SCJACK Posted March 13, 2014 Author Share Posted March 13, 2014 Ok, I went through your whole thread. She hasn't texted me back or anything and it's been about 2 days since she last texted me that stuff. I get what your saying about telling her how I feel and basically telling her why I can't be friends now so she knows and won't get the impression that i'm a jerk. Doing this, it will give her closure and make her feel better about why i'm ignoring though right..? so in a sense it still eases her guilt? Link to post Share on other sites
EuTuBrute Posted March 13, 2014 Share Posted March 13, 2014 SCJACK...i almost laughed when i read this thread because I was in your situation at one point, Except i dated my ex for 2.5 years. GO NC It over. Its pointless. Link to post Share on other sites
a708 Posted March 19, 2014 Share Posted March 19, 2014 Hey man. Was away for a week. hows things going? Link to post Share on other sites
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