LetsGoBlues Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 Been a couple months since I've been around when I last asked about meeting hot chicks at the gym. Anyways I have nowhere to meet girls. I just got my degree a month ago and Im a few years older than most college grads. Anyways where is one who isn't working supposed to go? The dating websites like Christian Mingle, Match.com for example when you weed through the undesirables and that most of the people on there all have careers and college degrees and such or kids and divorced, etc and have professional careers. Then you look at someone like me the same age with no job or anything like that and I'd appear to be a loser to most of them. Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 Go about your normal life and meet women there. At the store, taking a walk at the park, volunteering, etc. Women are literally everywhere. 3.5 billion on this planet and all you need to do is go about your normal day and start a conversation once you see someone you're interested in. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 Take a cookery course. Learn a language (in a class not from a CD in the car). Take up hiking, archery, running, scuba diving, pottery, life drawing. Join meetup and join local groups. Join a local amateur dramatics group. Go to your local pub quiz and ask if you can join a team. Seriously just choose a hobby that gets you out of the house and with other people, and start doing it. Not something that is a sausage-fest like wargaming... I joined a local 20's and 30's hiking group lately and was amazed by the number of single women there, they outnumber the guys, and new ones join every week. It's very easy to talk to people with the shared interest (how long have you been with the group, have you been walking long, been any good places etc). I thoroughly recommend it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LetsGoBlues Posted February 1, 2014 Author Share Posted February 1, 2014 Go about your normal life and meet women there. At the store, taking a walk at the park, volunteering, etc. Women are literally everywhere. 3.5 billion on this planet and all you need to do is go about your normal day and start a conversation once you see someone you're interested in. So you mean at the gym when I see the hotties to talk to them? Talk to them about what? I notice at the gym guys are more talkative to each other especially the older guys, but when it comes to the girls I rarely see them talking to anyone unless they're are there with a girl friend of theirs. Why are women so quiet and anti social at the gym? Link to post Share on other sites
mario_C Posted February 1, 2014 Share Posted February 1, 2014 Why are you on Christian Mingle looking for hookups? Link to post Share on other sites
jcrew11 Posted February 1, 2014 Share Posted February 1, 2014 Been a couple months since I've been around when I last asked about meeting hot chicks at the gym. Anyways I have nowhere to meet girls. I just got my degree a month ago and Im a few years older than most college grads. Anyways where is one who isn't working supposed to go? The dating websites like Christian Mingle, Match.com for example when you weed through the undesirables and that most of the people on there all have careers and college degrees and such or kids and divorced, etc and have professional careers. Then you look at someone like me the same age with no job or anything like that and I'd appear to be a loser to most of them. yoga class and organic grocery stores like whole food and trader joes. Just go where women congregate. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kart180 Posted February 1, 2014 Share Posted February 1, 2014 yoga class and organic grocery stores like whole food and trader joes. Just go where women congregate. Good ideas but wont women find it strange if you just talk to them while shopping. I tried it once, and she just ran away . Link to post Share on other sites
WordvAction Posted February 1, 2014 Share Posted February 1, 2014 Good ideas but wont women find it strange if you just talk to them while shopping. I tried it once, and she just ran away . Not if you make her laugh or have a legitimate conversation starter. I wouldn't take one incident of a women at a store rejecting you as evidence of that being the rule. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
kart180 Posted February 1, 2014 Share Posted February 1, 2014 Not if you make her laugh or have a legitimate conversation starter. I wouldn't take one incident of a women at a store rejecting you as evidence of that being the rule. Thanks for the advice, I just find weird, I always think when talking to a women, "does she smoke or drink, if she smokes, just say no ". I just don't like dating smokers. Drinkers are ok but I don't one since I'm sober. I relly don't know how to start a conversion, don't watch much tv and mostly spend time online Link to post Share on other sites
ltjg45 Posted February 1, 2014 Share Posted February 1, 2014 Good ideas but wont women find it strange if you just talk to them while shopping. I tried it once, and she just ran away . You aren't alone on that thinking. I doubt women is going to a grocery store to hope that a male they like is willing to approach them out of the blue while they are shopping. Of course, key words here is "a male they like". If you aren't even close to what she wants, you made a fool out of yourself. Well, that went well..... Heavens forbid, I certainly don't go to grocery stores checking out women either. I find that kind of perverted. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
jcrew11 Posted February 1, 2014 Share Posted February 1, 2014 Thanks for the advice, I just find weird, I always think when talking to a women, "does she smoke or drink, if she smokes, just say no ". I just don't like dating smokers. Drinkers are ok but I don't one since I'm sober. I relly don't know how to start a conversion, don't watch much tv and mostly spend time online Umm, the question was where to meet women, not how to talk to women or how to get women to like you, or how to make yourself into a desirable man. If you've never talked to a woman in your entire life, then you really need to work on your conversation skills. Now, you can practice on women and talk about interesting things or become a suave, well-dressed guy. If you spend all your time online, then you should just try to meet girls in online games. Otherwise, it might be beneficial for your health to try some hobbies like yoga and healthy eating. If you are a religious person, then go to church and network within that community for dates and new friends. Perhaps try some co-ed soccer or futbol. If you live in a city, use couchsurfing to meet some international girls. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jcrew11 Posted February 1, 2014 Share Posted February 1, 2014 Good ideas but wont women find it strange if you just talk to them while shopping. I tried it once, and she just ran away . Don't "try to hit on the girls" aggressively, and don't go to the store specifically to hit on women. Coffee shops are good places to hang out at. Basically, ask some questions about the food or whatever. Make some sarcastic jokes. Don't even try to get phone numbers, just try to be easy-going and laid back and relaxed. I saw on your profile you are from Britain. IF you have a British accent, work on your RP accent (cut-glass accent) and talk like Prince William, and the girls will get wet just from your words. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MixedUpChick Posted February 1, 2014 Share Posted February 1, 2014 Good ideas but wont women find it strange if you just talk to them while shopping. I tried it once, and she just ran away. kart, I realize you're not a super outgoing guy, but when I keep reading posts where you say "I tried & it didn't work" I kind of want to smack you When you first learned to walk, ride a bike, even play an online game... were you successful your first time? If you're like most people it took at least a couple tries to actually be good at something new. Same strategy applies here, the one time you tried talking to a random woman in public, you weren't successful? Try again! That's the only way for you to learn what works & doesn't work for you. And not all women are the same, so what doesn't work with one might work with the next. Stop accepting defeat so easily & keep trying, adapt your methods, eventually you'll feel confident & successful when approaching women. FYI you had another post where you said something about asking a woman if she smokes. I wouldn't suggest walking up to a woman anywhere out in public and starting off with something like "hi, do you smoke?" I realize you don't want to date a smoker, but don't even start off thinking about whether or not a woman is a dating prospect. First you need to learn how to talk to strangers & be comfortable, then later you can look toward approaching women for dating. Even later, that's a terrible opening line Here's an idea. You shop for groceries? Try talking to someone in the produce department - again, not thinking about dating - just to help you learn to be more comfortable talking to strangers. Ask someone shopping for a fruit/vegetable/melon/etc. for help to pick out a good one. Some people might just walk away, but every time you go could be a new adventure to see how many people you can have a successful interaction with. Once you feel comfortable approaching strangers & trying to chat, you'll be much more comfortable with the idea of specifically talking to women. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kart180 Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 kart, I realize you're not a super outgoing guy, but when I keep reading posts where you say "I tried & it didn't work" I kind of want to smack you When you first learned to walk, ride a bike, even play an online game... were you successful your first time? If you're like most people it took at least a couple tries to actually be good at something new. Same strategy applies here, the one time you tried talking to a random woman in public, you weren't successful? Try again! That's the only way for you to learn what works & doesn't work for you. And not all women are the same, so what doesn't work with one might work with the next. Stop accepting defeat so easily & keep trying, adapt your methods, eventually you'll feel confident & successful when approaching women. FYI you had another post where you said something about asking a woman if she smokes. I wouldn't suggest walking up to a woman anywhere out in public and starting off with something like "hi, do you smoke?" I realize you don't want to date a smoker, but don't even start off thinking about whether or not a woman is a dating prospect. First you need to learn how to talk to strangers & be comfortable, then later you can look toward approaching women for dating. Even later, that's a terrible opening line Here's an idea. You shop for groceries? Try talking to someone in the produce department - again, not thinking about dating - just to help you learn to be more comfortable talking to strangers. Ask someone shopping for a fruit/vegetable/melon/etc. for help to pick out a good one. Some people might just walk away, but every time you go could be a new adventure to see how many people you can have a successful interaction with. Once you feel comfortable approaching strangers & trying to chat, you'll be much more comfortable with the idea of specifically talking to women. Thanks, for the advice, Im find that women think im too nice. I shower them with compliments. about u thinking you wan to smack me, lol. I know how you feel. Im just never dated. Im Asian (Indian) so dating dont come naturally to me because my parents didnt want me to date. When you mentioned about the bike riding and walking and online gaming. I did cycle and walk the firs time and online gaming is natural to me because I coded them and know how each work. I grew with computers using them often Grocery produce idea is good, however I don't buy fruit and veg. Usually eat noddles, rice or fast food. Link to post Share on other sites
kart180 Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 Umm, the question was where to meet women, not how to talk to women or how to get women to like you, or how to make yourself into a desirable man. If you've never talked to a woman in your entire life, then you really need to work on your conversation skills. Now, you can practice on women and talk about interesting things or become a suave, well-dressed guy. If you spend all your time online, then you should just try to meet girls in online games. Otherwise, it might be beneficial for your health to try some hobbies like yoga and healthy eating. If you are a religious person, then go to church and network within that community for dates and new friends. Perhaps try some co-ed soccer or futbol. If you live in a city, use couchsurfing to meet some international girls. Unfortunately, yes I do not have many female friends and here, I am on my own except for my old parents. Most of college friends are now married, which makes me so annoyed. Thanks for the advice, Im a Hindu so I do go to temple but no temple here in Florida. I do yoga and health eating at home. Soccer and other activities would be good but Im in a small town between orlando and maimi called Vero. Nothing fun here. Link to post Share on other sites
kart180 Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 Don't "try to hit on the girls" aggressively, and don't go to the store specifically to hit on women. Coffee shops are good places to hang out at. Basically, ask some questions about the food or whatever. Make some sarcastic jokes. Don't even try to get phone numbers, just try to be easy-going and laid back and relaxed. I saw on your profile you are from Britain. IF you have a British accent, work on your RP accent (cut-glass accent) and talk like Prince William, and the girls will get wet just from your words. Thanks for viewing my Profile, Yes indeed I am fron South London, I am proud British born and breed and educated. I wish I had a Robert Patterson Accent. I sound a bit like Johnny Lee Miller from Elementary. I try to talk to women but don't know what to say after "you have a nice accent". Link to post Share on other sites
kart180 Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 FYI you had another post where you said something about asking a woman if she smokes. I wouldn't suggest walking up to a woman anywhere out in public and starting off with something like "hi, do you smoke?" I realize you don't want to date a smoker, but don't even start off thinking about whether or not a woman is a dating prospect. First you need to learn how to talk to strangers & be comfortable, then later you can look toward approaching women for dating. Even later, that's a terrible opening line The Smoking question is important to me because I was born early and just hate smokers. I cant stand smokers and people who use ecigs. Only date non smokers. I really dont care if she is annoyed by the questions its imporant, If you smoke, it will never work ever. Link to post Share on other sites
mario_C Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 Smoking is very out of vogue, in the US at least. If you've just met someone and you ask them if they smoke they will assume you're asking for or offering a light. Anyway, back on topic... I spent some time in Vero Beach as a kid (yeah, a LONG time ago) so I understand how boring it is and how hard it is to find appropriate places to meet someone. I won't go over the anxiety of the approach as I struggle with it myself, but the worst thing you can do is act like you're hitting on her, women absolutely hate that. Anyway, great places to start a conversation are places where socializing is the norm. I was shopping for food tonight, the clerk was telling some stories as he was ringing people up, and we got involved. I wasn't hitting on a man, I was just being sociable. Cafes are a similar situation; you're a fellow coder, do you ever take your laptop out to a Starbucks type place to have a view and work? Certain bars are OK, you don't sound like you can handle rough trade Last person I met in a bar was at one where they were playing live jazz. It helped that the bar hosts a startup community on Mondays, and I was able to instigate a conversation over that. Good luck, we all need it. Link to post Share on other sites
kart180 Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 Smoking is very out of vogue, in the US at least. If you've just met someone and you ask them if they smoke they will assume you're asking for or offering a light. Anyway, back on topic... I spent some time in Vero Beach as a kid (yeah, a LONG time ago) so I understand how boring it is and how hard it is to find appropriate places to meet someone. I won't go over the anxiety of the approach as I struggle with it myself, but the worst thing you can do is act like you're hitting on her, women absolutely hate that. Anyway, great places to start a conversation are places where socializing is the norm. I was shopping for food tonight, the clerk was telling some stories as he was ringing people up, and we got involved. I wasn't hitting on a man, I was just being sociable. Cafes are a similar situation; you're a fellow coder, do you ever take your laptop out to a Starbucks type place to have a view and work? Certain bars are OK, you don't sound like you can handle rough trade Last person I met in a bar was at one where they were playing live jazz. It helped that the bar hosts a startup community on Mondays, and I was able to instigate a conversation over that. Good luck, we all need it. Thanks for the quick response, That a lot of advice and tips. Thanks so much :). I do get the point when you said if I ask if the women smokes she will give me a lighter. I did code back in college for my degree course but no more. I would love to go to Starbucks but as you know being a former vero resident. There are only two or three at most. I usually go to Parana Bread and order something thats it. Want to start a conversion with the cleark is easy for you but not for me. I am just too nervous. I dont go to bars as I never drink alchool not only due to being born early and because I drive. Link to post Share on other sites
MixedUpChick Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 Thanks, for the advice, Im find that women think im too nice. I shower them with compliments. about u thinking you wan to smack me, lol. I know how you feel. Im just never dated. Im Asian (Indian) so dating dont come naturally to me because my parents didnt want me to date. Grocery produce idea is good, however I don't buy fruit and veg. Usually eat noddles, rice or fast food. OK, I give up. I keep offering suggestions but you just keep saying nothing will work. Good luck to you 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kart180 Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 OK, I give up. I keep offering suggestions but you just keep saying nothing will work. Good luck to you Thanks for trying anyway. Guess im a lost cause and an idot Link to post Share on other sites
MixedUpChick Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 kart, that is SO not what I said. But you have to be willing to take suggestions for advice & not just keep saying nothing will work for you. If you're happy the way things are right now, don't change a thing. But if you're not happy - and it seems like it's possible you're not - you have to be willing to try something different. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jcrew11 Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 Unfortunately, yes I do not have many female friends and here, I am on my own except for my old parents. Most of college friends are now married, which makes me so annoyed. Thanks for the advice, Im a Hindu so I do go to temple but no temple here in Florida. I do yoga and health eating at home. Soccer and other activities would be good but Im in a small town between orlando and maimi called Vero. Nothing fun here. Honestly, most men are just lazy and don't want to try to work on their communication skills to get better with women. Men just want to find a girl to have sex with, then sit on the couch and watch football or play video games. If you actually practice yoga, then definitely join a yoga class and the women will come up to you because you will be the only male in the class. It just sounds like you don't want to be active or social in the real world. If you want to marry an Indian Hindu girl, then you are probably better off using one of those Indian Matrimonial sites, since most Indian families are okay with Matchmaking. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
jcrew11 Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 Thanks for viewing my Profile, Yes indeed I am fron South London, I am proud British born and breed and educated. I wish I had a Robert Patterson Accent. I sound a bit like Johnny Lee Miller from Elementary. I try to talk to women but don't know what to say after "you have a nice accent". There are also women from different ethnicities and countries that have different expectations. You might be more comfortable just talking to and dating Indian women because they are familiar with your customs and lifestyle. But if you want to date a white American girl, then you will have to be open and accepting of their interests and lifestyle which might include drinking beer, weed, rock music, rap music, christianity/catholicism, whatever. If you aren't comfortable hanging out with people from different cultures and lifestyles than your own, then just stay a shut in. But if you are open-minded about meeting new people, talking to different people from different cultures, and learning about new cultures, then you will have lots of opportunities to talk to girls. Florida also has a large hispanic population, so you can try to talk to catholic hispanic girls if you find them attractive. But find other topics to talk about besides computers. I would suggest you watch the DVD of Sex And the City episodes to learn more about women's lifestyles and thought process. Link to post Share on other sites
WordvAction Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 Honestly, most men are just lazy and don't want to try to work on their communication skills to get better with women. Men just want to find a girl to have sex with, then sit on the couch and watch football or play video games. If you actually practice yoga, then definitely join a yoga class and the women will come up to you because you will be the only male in the class. It just sounds like you don't want to be active or social in the real world. If you want to marry an Indian Hindu girl, then you are probably better off using one of those Indian Matrimonial sites, since most Indian families are okay with Matchmaking. Most men? No need for generalization's, even if having a girl and being able to watch football and play video games sounds good to me 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts