I like extremely clingy and needy women -- is this normal?

[NYSean]

When I used to go on dates, I'd tell women that I like to be smothered. I'd like for a woman to always contact me, take it upon herself to visit me everyday and just be completely clingy. Granted yes, she would give me time to do some of my own things alone, but I think it's really endearing when a woman just can't stop thinking about you and wants to spend every waking moment with you.

 

My guy friends think I'm mentally insane and my female friends think I'm one of a kind. So out of curiosity are there men like me out there?

[TaraMaiden]

How long do your relationships last, on the whole?

 

Do you get into these kinds of relationships to make them last. or are you simply not in commitment mode?

 

You do realise women of this kind need some kind of therapeutic help?

 

Why 'prey' on the vulnerable?

[Grumpybutfun]

It is possible you have the White Knight Syndrome. This isn't healthy. Were you once a caregiver for your parents or brothers and sisters? Did you have to play an adult role when you were a child? Do you feel unworthy of others taking care of you? You might want to look this up and see the Psychological definition for this. Men who are White Knights usually attract women or men who are psychologically unwell.

Best,

Grumps

[organizedchaos]

How long do your relationships last, on the whole?

 

Do you get into these kinds of relationships to make them last. or are you simply not in commitment mode?

 

You do realise women of this kind need some kind of therapeutic help?

 

Why 'prey' on the vulnerable?

 

 

 

Because it gives the man control and a feeling of power? "she will never leave me because she can't live without me"

[NYSean]

How long do your relationships last, on the whole?

 

Do you get into these kinds of relationships to make them last. or are you simply not in commitment mode?

 

You do realise women of this kind need some kind of therapeutic help?

 

Why 'prey' on the vulnerable?

 

 

I seriously like to get into these relationships to make them last. My ex who was extremely clingy we lasted for about 3 years.

 

I want commitment, dating around isn't really my cup of tea; maybe in college but at this point in my life I'd like for someone to dedicate her time to me and it would make me want to do the same.

 

I don't prey on them, I just find the quality to be endearing.

[NYSean]

It is possible you have the White Knight Syndrome. This isn't healthy. Were you once a caregiver for your parents or brothers and sisters? Did you have to play an adult role when you were a child? Do you feel unworthy of others taking care of you? You might want to look this up and see the Psychological definition for this. Men who are White Knights usually attract women or men who are psychologically unwell.

Best,

Grumps

 

I was never a caregiver for my family at any point in my life; I had a pretty normal childhood. I don't feel unworthy at all, when a woman "takes care" of me I appreciate it. Can there exist a woman that believes a relationship should not be built on dependency but still be "needy" at the same time?

 

Interesting that this could be an unhealthy behavior.

[soccerrprp]

I seriously like to get into these relationships to make them last. My ex who was extremely clingy we lasted for about 3 years.

 

I want commitment, dating around isn't really my cup of tea; maybe in college but at this point in my life I'd like for someone to dedicate her time to me and it would make me want to do the same.

 

I don't prey on them, I just find the quality to be endearing.

 

 

Because it gives the man control and a feeling of power? "she will never leave me because she can't live without me"

 

Should I say more? Well, okay...

 

We all want for our SO to want us enough to not want to cheat, not look elsewhere and be loyal. The OP wants this. Yup, certainly not healthy on the part of the women, but it also shows that the OP is likely insecure too!

[TaraMaiden]

Wouldn't it be fairer to say you like the sound of having a devoted, slightly submissive woman around?

 

Was your 3-year ex clingy/needy?

 

Who broke off your 3 year-relationship? You, or her?

 

Can you see where I'm going with this.?

[Emilia]

My guy friends think I'm mentally insane and my female friends think I'm one of a kind. So out of curiosity are there men like me out there?

It would make me think you have abandonment issues. That your mother or father walked out on you when you were a small kid or something similar. People who need constant reassurance usually carry a deep childhood hurt.

[NYSean]

Wouldn't it be fairer to say you like the sound of having a devoted, slightly submissive woman around?

 

Was your 3-year ex clingy/needy?

 

Who broke off your 3 year-relationship? You, or her?

 

Can you see where I'm going with this.?

 

Yeah that's probably the best way to describe it...I REALLY like devoted, submissive women.

 

She was clingy/needy but it was a mutual breakup because she moved abroad for work and things just drifted apart.

[TaraMaiden]

My point was that if you date clingy/needy women, then break up with them - it's going to leave them feeling worse, and feeling justified about whatever low self-esteem issues they may have.

 

If you like meek, shy, quiet women, who are prepared to 'stand in your shadow' metaphorically speaking, that's a different story.

 

However, I feel such women are quite rare... with the coming of equality and emancipation, such ladies are few and far between; they are also much misunderstood by other women, and not respected by them, either....

[NYSean]

It would make me think you have abandonment issues. That your mother or father walked out on you when you were a small kid or something similar. People who need constant reassurance usually carry a deep childhood hurt.

 

Well I do have a bit of an insecurity problem with women flaking out or just vanish after a few dates. Although I know it's just normal part of dating, it doesn't take away the fact that it would sting the ego a bit.

 

I get the feeling maybe I get into these relationships to feed into my pride/ego. It's strange though I was never abandoned at all as a child; my parents were always around.

 

Then again, I don't like the fact that a lot of my close friends have moved throughout the country and are engaged. Could that be it?

[Emilia]

Well I do have a bit of an insecurity problem with women flaking out or just vanish after a few dates. Although I know it's just normal part of dating, it doesn't take away the fact that it would sting the ego a bit.

 

I get the feeling maybe I get into these relationships to feed into my pride/ego. It's strange though I was never abandoned at all as a child; my parents were always around.

 

Then again, I don't like the fact that a lot of my close friends have moved throughout the country and are engaged. Could that be it?

Well something sets off cortisol in you. That happens to everyone but to this degree it's usually people who had unreliable parents who couldn't be trusted. Is your mother a warm, caring person?

[TaraMaiden]

Oh, got it.

THEY'RE not damaged.

 

YOU are!

 

(J/K.....)

 

There's nothing wrong with liking a particular 'type' but yeah, I guess if it's more to do with personality/characteristics rather than, or as opposed to, simple physical first attraction, it IS worth looking at motivation....

[NYSean]

Well something sets off cortisol in you. That happens to everyone but to this degree it's usually people who had unreliable parents who couldn't be trusted. Is your mother a warm, caring person?

 

She cares -- she was someone I could always depend on if anything happened to me but at the same time she spoiled me rotten and I was coddled.

[Eternal Sunshine]

You sound exactly like my brother. He had a choice between 2 girls and he chose his current gf because she was clingier and more insecure one out of the two. In his words: "The more the girl is into me, the better. I dig that ****."

[Emilia]

She cares -- she was someone I could always depend on if anything happened to me but at the same time she spoiled me rotten and I was coddled.

Ah ok. I don't know much about late separation, I never had the pleasure personally but it sounds to me that this is the core issue.

 

Are you an only child?

[GorillaTheater]

Women who are very needy and clinging tend to have a closetful of bad sh*t in their past that they haven't dealt with. That, and they're annoying as hell.

 

But, different strokes.

[NYSean]

Oh, got it.

THEY'RE not damaged.

 

YOU are!

 

(J/K.....)

 

There's nothing wrong with liking a particular 'type' but yeah, I guess if it's more to do with personality/characteristics rather than, or as opposed to, simple physical first attraction, it IS worth looking at motivation....

 

Hahah well I'll divulge some more: I even like it when they're jealous and a little possessive. I get sexually stimulated when I'd have to explain myself where I was and trying to convince her that this person I had a lunch meeting with was just a friend. The thought of a woman pacing back and forth at night waiting for me is HOT as hell. I WOULD draw the line if she told me to get rid of all of my female friends though. That has happened before and I cut it off because of that.

 

lol I'm a mess.

[NYSean]

Ah ok. I don't know much about late separation, I never had the pleasure personally but it sounds to me that this is the core issue.

 

Are you an only child?

 

No, I have a younger brother...my father tends to show favoritism towards him and my mother me.

[Emilia]

lol I'm a mess.

I'm finding your thread very interesting. I've never encountered this from people that come from stable homes. They usually have Gorilla Theatre's approach.

[Emilia]

No, I have a younger brother...my father tends to show favoritism towards him and my mother me.

Very interesting. Hm. No idea what's wrong with you

[TaraMaiden]

Aaaah... now we're getting there.... a mamma's boy.... tell me, is your mother the quiet, submissive type?

 

(God, this would cost you a fortune with a qualified analyst!!)

[TaraMaiden]

Oh kerrist... I've just read the post where you say -

 

I get sexually stimulated when I'd have to explain myself where I was and trying to convince her that this person I had a lunch meeting with was just a friend. The thought of a woman pacing back and forth at night waiting for me is HOT as hell.

 

...so I'm not suggesting an Oedipus complex, here.....

 

Am I....?

[NYSean]

Aaaah... now we're getting there.... a mamma's boy.... tell me, is your mother the quiet, submissive type?

 

(God, this would cost you a fortune with a qualified analyst!!)

 

No way, she would put her foot down if my dad was in the wrong. But she does nag a lot, probably because he never does anything around the house and my mom has a job yet she has to come home and cook/clean. Generally she makes all the decisions for me and my brother when we were growing up and my father would only make the big financial decisions. If I had to do something, I'd have to ask my mom first not my dad.