I like extremely clingy and needy women -- is this normal?

[TaraMaiden]

Not you, him. He was the one last night who was suggesting to the thread starter that he become verbally abusive to the woman, and that he not take no for an answer when she declined sex.

 

Yup.

An agenda.....

 

'Physician, heal thyself'.

[NYSean]

OP, do you see any behaviors you exhibit that belittles or degrades these women? Do you see your desire for a submissive an issue? When the novelty of cling insets, neediness and jealousy wears off, what is left that will keep you attracted? Obviously these traits are very attractive to you because it gives you a sense of power and makes you different from the same sex parent you don't admire. However, the drama these traits bring and the mental health issues might not be obvious to you right now, but could pd they possibly be an issue in the future?

G

 

I've heard stories of controlling husbands and that angers me to the core so I could NEVER belittle or degrade a woman outside the bedroom. In fact, I would NEVER impose this type of bedroom dynamic to a woman unless this is ALSO what she wanted. I do like having the power but ONLY in the bedroom but I believe a healthy relationship is built from mutual respect. I'll admit I act like a butthead sometimes but I couldn't date a woman who would just take it. I would NEED for her to put me in my place when the time arises and vice versa.

 

I believe if the novelty wore off it would just become a "normal" relationship which is perfectly fine by me.

[NYSean]

Not you, him. He was the one last night who was suggesting to the thread starter that he become verbally abusive to the woman, and that he not take no for an answer when she declined sex.

 

Again, how is asking a woman "why do you drive a 86k mercedes...do you feel inadequate in some area of your life" or "why do you feel the need to tell me you reject guys on online dating, do you want me to think you're some exceptional catch or something because you're insecure about your age" verbally abusive?

 

You are a therapist and you have really bad selective reading.

[Grumpybutfun]

I've heard stories of controlling husbands and that angers me to the core so I could NEVER belittle or degrade a woman outside the bedroom. In fact, I would NEVER impose this type of bedroom dynamic to a woman unless this is ALSO what she wanted. I do like having the power but ONLY in the bedroom but I believe a healthy relationship is built from mutual respect. I'll admit I act like a butthead sometimes but I couldn't date a woman who would just take it. I would NEED for her to put me in my place when the time arises and vice versa.

 

I believe if the novelty wore off it would just become a "normal" relationship which is perfectly fine by me.

 

This sounds fairly normal to me. As long as you treat a woman with dignity and respect and she agrees to bedroom play, not an issue. Hey, I wouldn't want the drama that comes with clingy, needy women, but this is about you.

G

[NYSean]

Not you, him. He was the one last night who was suggesting to the thread starter that he become verbally abusive to the woman, and that he not take no for an answer when she declined sex.

 

Hahaha where did I say take no for an answer. I said that women like her are easy to break and they are. Because that woman is simply putting up an act and playing mind games.

 

Why the hell should I respect a woman that tells me that she drives an expensive car, likes to reject men online, and that she dumped a guy for not paying on a date. Who the hell says that on a FIRST DATE?! Why should I abide by a woman's rules if she's not going to follow mine. A relationship is a two-way street lady.

[NYSean]

This sounds fairly normal to me. As long as you treat a woman with dignity and respect and she agrees to bedroom play, not an issue. Hey, I wouldn't want the drama that comes with clingy, needy women, but this is about you.

G

 

I wouldn't want to mold a woman to what I want her to be. My job is to support what she herself wants to be because I know she would do the same for me.

[KathyM]

Again, how is asking a woman "why do you drive a 86k mercedes...do you feel inadequate in some area of your life" or "why do you feel the need to tell me you reject guys on online dating, do you want me to think you're some exceptional catch or something because you're insecure about your age" verbally abusive?

 

You are a therapist and you have really bad selective reading.

I know what I read, both what you were suggesting to the OP, and the way you reacted to me for calling you out on it. You are trying to make it sound like nothing today, but it shows some serious lack of respect for women to suggest becoming verbally abusive and pressuring her for sex after she set boundaries that she wasn't going to have sex on that first date. But I'm done with this debate. You are attracted to clingy needy women because those are who will put up with abuse and who will let you dominate and control them. Question answered.

[TaraMaiden]

I think you're taking this far too personally KathyM....

NYSean has been nothing but courteous to me, so your perception is frankly clouded by anger and resentment.

He has not been discourteous, disrespectful, disdainful, rude or objectionable, and both Emilia and I, as far as i can tell, are women.

Your assessment of him is therefore based on one thread-exchange and you know, that's really nothing to go by....

 

The only woman taking offence in this thread, is you.

It's clear you're not going to be exchanging greetings cards, so really, It's probably time to call it a day.

[NYSean]

I know what I read, both what you were suggesting to the OP, and the way you reacted to me for calling you out on it. You are trying to make it sound like nothing today, but it shows some serious lack of respect for women to suggest becoming verbally abusive and pressuring her for sex after she set boundaries that she wasn't going to have sex on that first date. But I'm done with this debate. You are attracted to clingy needy women because those are who will put up with abuse and who will let you dominate and control them. Question answered.

 

Hahahahhah, if I tried to make it sound like nothing today then I wouldn't be addressing this topic on THIS thread with you. Hell I'd do anything to hide it. I don't regret anything I said yesterday and I believe it with conviction. You wanted to twist it to feed into your little reality so you could do your job and "properly treat" that guy so no one thinks you're a quack.

 

LOL you don't even ask questions to delve into why I like clingy women instead you just went ahead and jumped to conclusions. Hahaha you realize that NO therapist or counselor would EVER do that right? This is proof right here why you are a quack and I feel sorry for men/women who'd shell out their hard earned money for your fraudulent services.

 

Plus, you took it upon yourself to read that Pick-Up Artist garbage. How is that befitting of a therapist who wishes to foster a relationship that is not built from fake personalities? And to already label me as a pick up artist without asking questions? The answer is simple: you're a quack.

[TaraMaiden]

If this goes on, I'm going to pick up my psychoanalyst couch and go find another room to rent.....

 

[Jamir]

Lol, that's really funny bro.

That's sort of weird, I definitely wouldn't want a girl, I've just met to be clingy.

I like cliginess, once we've been together for a long time. (7months)

[KathyM]

"you don't even need to buy her jack diddly squat. Just tell her that she's so useless she can't afford her own things. They always get defensive when you make them feel like they're just walking useless human flesh."

 

 

Does this sound like a man who has any respect for women?

[NYSean]

"you don't even need to buy her jack diddly squat. Just tell her that she's so useless she can't afford her own things. They always get defensive when you make them feel like they're just walking useless human flesh."

 

 

Does this sound like a man who has any respect for women?

 

 

HAHAHAH. I think you like me KathyM but I have to remind you that you're married.

 

You DO realize that I would react a certain way if someone was to treat me a certain way. My reaction is SPECIFICALLY catered to women that doesn't want to put in ANY effort but make the man pamper her with materialistic things. That woman is clearly an ********* to this man so there is NO reason why he should treat her with ANY respect. Again, WHO in their right mind on a first date would tell a man she likes nice and shiny things and is high maintenance but you can't do this and that with her. That guy didn't even set ANY rules and she was laying down the commandments with him.

[TaraMaiden]

Do you sound like you have any respect for anyone?

 

of the two, on this thread, you have been found wanting, Kathy.

 

Seriously?

[Eivuwan]

Well done! I think you've cracked it! Jeezus I have spoken about this with some of my friends who ARE clinical psychologists and they haven't a clue where the root of this comes from.

 

I probably should let go of that pacing up and down worrying about me bit, I need to think about the negatives that comes with that behavior. I could imagine if this happened EVERYDAY, I probably wouldn't stick around either, I can only tolerate so much.

 

You know this does make you sound like a sadist who gets off of other's misery. I doubt you really love these women. It's more like an ego boost.

[NYSean]

You know this does make you sound like a sadist who gets off of other's misery. I doubt you really love these women. It's more like an ego boost.

 

If I get off on other people's misery then I would've gone to an addict clinic or homeless shelter and have my pickings there.

 

I doubt I loved/liked these women? Want me to get my girlfriend to contact you and basically make you feel like a fool over the Internet? Or are you going to feed into your own little world and laughably believe that I'm going forcing her to tell you what I want her to tell just so you can convince yourself that you're right?

[1zacksteele]

@NYsean

 

How long are your relationships

 

And, how long has it been since you were in a relationship

 

Also, your age, and the age of the women you date

[Eivuwan]

If I get off on other people's misery then I would've gone to an addict clinic or homeless shelter and have my pickings there.

 

I doubt I loved/liked these women? Want me to get my girlfriend to contact you and basically make you feel like a fool over the Internet? Or are you going to feed into your own little world and laughably believe that I'm going forcing her to tell you what I want her to tell just so you can convince yourself that you're right?

 

Look, clingliness, jealousy and worry come from a place of insecurity. It doesn't feel good to be that way. I would think that if I love someone I would want them to feel secure and safe in the relationship. But you get off from it. Hence, my doubts. But whatever rocks your boat I guess.

[NYSean]

@NYsean

 

How long are your relationships

 

And, how long has it been since you were in a relationship

 

Also, your age, and the age of the women you date

 

My relationships are usually 2+ years long. I'm currently in a relationship and have been dating her for 2.5 years.

 

My age is 32 and the oldest woman I've dated was 40 and the youngest 25. When I'm single I like to date women my age, a little older, and mid-late 20's

[Eivuwan]

@ Taramaiden, you know that insight is only one aspect of psychoanalysis right? Although I do agree they seem to charge too much money for their sessions at times. But when you have an office in Manhattan, those costs build up. Also some psychoanalysts have a sliding scale so they charge less for those with less money.

[TaraMaiden]

My relationships are usually 2+ years long. I'm currently in a relationship and have been dating her for 2.5 years.

 

My age is 32 and the oldest woman I've dated was 40 and the youngest 25. When I'm single I like to date women my age, a little older, and mid-late 20's

 

Sean... don't.....it's Some Person Advertising Muck

[NYSean]

Look, clingliness, jealousy and worry come from a place of insecurity. It doesn't feel good to be that way. I would think that if I love someone I would want them to feel secure and safe in the relationship. But you get off from it. Hence, my doubts. But whatever rocks your boat I guess.

 

I'm not afraid to admit that I'm insecure but I think this little "like" of mine goes deeper than that. But I don't purposely set up scenarios for her to feel that she needs to be needy and clingy with me. I don't pretend to tell her that women like me so she could get jealous. I'm not a misery-generating prick, I don't play games; these women act like this on their own volition, I just like it.

[TaraMaiden]

@ Taramaiden, you know that insight is only one aspect of psychoanalysis right? Although I do agree they seem to charge too much money for their sessions at times. But when you have an office in Manhattan, those costs build up. Also some psychoanalysts have a sliding scale so they charge less for those with less money.

 

Everything I've said about psychoanalysis is just my idea of a joke. I'm just some forum frequenter with a few miles under my belt who's been round the block a few times.....

besides, we don't all come from the USA.

I wouldn't know an office in Manhattan if it smacked me in the eye and called me 'Momma!'

[Blade96]

When I used to go on dates, I'd tell women that I like to be smothered. I'd like for a woman to always contact me, take it upon herself to visit me everyday and just be completely clingy. Granted yes, she would give me time to do some of my own things alone, but I think it's really endearing when a woman just can't stop thinking about you and wants to spend every waking moment with you.

 

My guy friends think I'm mentally insane and my female friends think I'm one of a kind. So out of curiosity are there men like me out there?

 

I got turned off from my ex because he was like this. And got mad at me because I wouldn't do what he wanted. (of course I made a thread here about the sociopath years ago if you want to check.)

 

My thoughts are that you will end up in trouble if you see people like this. They will want to control you and one day you will think What happened to my life (because she won't let you have one of your own separate from hers) and WTF have I gotten myself into?

 

At first I thought the quality was endearing too. But then I realized it isn't so cute later on.

Edited January 31, 2014 by Blade96

[Eivuwan]

I see.

 

10 characters