HokeyReligions Posted January 14, 2005 Share Posted January 14, 2005 There have been a couple of posts talking about the "reason we are here" or our purpose in life. That seems so limiting and controlling. Why do we have to have some purpose? Life is life. Why are we here? Why not! I don't want to spend my life in search of its meaning -- that takes away from the joy and pleasure of life. I've never felt like I had to have some purpose or meaning (known or unknown) to validate my life. If I decided I did need one, I could name dozens of 'reasons' for my life. I don't mean this to sound sarcastic -- but isn't life itself enough? Even when I was a practicing Christian I always thought that life was a gift and that was enough. I simply accepted the gift and felt God asked no more of me than that. (by accepting his gift I accepted Him and all the things that a good Christian was supposed to accept, yadda yadda) Just another POV on the quest for the meaning of life. Link to post Share on other sites
Bronzepen Posted January 14, 2005 Share Posted January 14, 2005 Some people aren't happy/satisfied knowing they are just alive. Some people need a meaning and a cause for existing. For some, wondering aimlessly is not a choice nor is it comforting. Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted January 14, 2005 Share Posted January 14, 2005 Everything that I do in life is driven by the sole motivation to get more karaoke, beer, and boobs. Link to post Share on other sites
Pocky Posted January 14, 2005 Share Posted January 14, 2005 Originally posted by tanbark813 Everything that I do in life is driven by the sole motivation to get more karaoke, beer, and boobs. Some things are just too funny... You're too young, I'm too old, you're single, I'm married, you live there, I live there..it's such a shame. We could have had so much fun. Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted January 14, 2005 Share Posted January 14, 2005 Originally posted by Pocky We could have had so much fun. I don't doubt that at all, especially since you buy your man bj's from hookers. Link to post Share on other sites
Anais Posted January 14, 2005 Share Posted January 14, 2005 Originally posted by HokeyReligions I simply accepted the gift and felt God asked no more of me than that. (by accepting his gift I accepted Him and all the things that a good Christian was supposed to accept, yadda yadda) This is like a guy comes to you with a big diamond ring and you take the ring and through him out of the door. Then you think that at least you accepted the present. (just kidding) Link to post Share on other sites
Author HokeyReligions Posted January 14, 2005 Author Share Posted January 14, 2005 Originally posted by Bronzepen Some people aren't happy/satisfied knowing they are just alive. Some people need a meaning and a cause for existing. For some, wondering aimlessly is not a choice nor is it comforting. I know, but I'm wondering why? What is it that people feel when they are looking for a purpose? Is it just a general 'unfulfilledness'? How do they know when they find whatever it is they are looking for? What makes people so certain they have found THE reason for their being? What if they lose it? Does it remain 'enough' to have found 'It'? What then? What if they get burned out from 'It'? Do they keep searching for something else? Do people need only one reason, or is it like an easter-egg hunt where they are always looking for more? Does it really change their life to have found 'it'? How? I know its an individual thing and not one answer is going to cover everyone, I'm just curious about individual responses and about opinions on the whole thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Bronzepen Posted January 14, 2005 Share Posted January 14, 2005 Originally posted by HokeyReligions I know, but I'm wondering why? What is it that people feel when they are looking for a purpose? Is it just a general 'unfulfilledness'? How do they know when they find whatever it is they are looking for? What makes people so certain they have found THE reason for their being? What if they lose it? Does it remain 'enough' to have found 'It'? What then? What if they get burned out from 'It'? Do they keep searching for something else? Do people need only one reason, or is it like an easter-egg hunt where they are always looking for more? Does it really change their life to have found 'it'? How? I know its an individual thing and not one answer is going to cover everyone, I'm just curious about individual responses and about opinions on the whole thing. Some people look all their lives for the answer and never find it. Some people find it in religion and that is enough for them. For them their life does change. For others it's not the answer but a step in the right direction. People that are looking for the answer, will never stop because they can't accept just being alive. They need a purpose, a goal and some sort of definition of who and what they are. Link to post Share on other sites
Mustard Bomb Posted January 14, 2005 Share Posted January 14, 2005 I worry about this. At some point, I just fell out of love with my work, and I miss the easy source of hope and direction that this purpose used to give me. Everything is still fine, I work, love, exercise, study, but I definitely notice a reduction in soul energy. This is kind of silly, but I would say it's the equivalent of skipping breakfast for me. I think the answer for me is to get to that place where I can enjoy what I have, and be grateful. I'm not there yet. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted January 14, 2005 Share Posted January 14, 2005 People that are looking for the answer, will never stop because they can't accept just being alive. They need a purpose, a goal and some sort of definition of who and what they are or, sometimes people look beyond themselves and realize that in the grand scheme of things, they're just this little dab of goo that ... exists! they grow curious, questioning how they relate to what is around them, what their place is and why they're even there. I think it becomes less and less a journey of self, and more a journey of finding out how we fit in, of what our place is. sometimes the journey is aided by the practice of a religious faith; other times by reading or immersing oneself in a vast array of materials that shed light on the subject, really, just a number of different things can help a person. because we're made/created/built with a thirst to know and to learn, it's a safe bet to say that the journey is an ongoing and ever-changing one! Link to post Share on other sites
Author HokeyReligions Posted January 14, 2005 Author Share Posted January 14, 2005 Originally posted by Bronzepen Some people look all their lives for the answer and never find it. Some people find it in religion and that is enough for them. For them their life does change. For others it's not the answer but a step in the right direction. People that are looking for the answer, will never stop because they can't accept just being alive. They need a purpose, a goal and some sort of definition of who and what they are. Yes, but WHY? Link to post Share on other sites
Author HokeyReligions Posted January 14, 2005 Author Share Posted January 14, 2005 Originally posted by Mustard Bomb reduction in soul energy equivalent of skipping breakfast for me That is what I'm looking for (love the soul energy phrase). Descriptions of how it feels to each individual. And how that equates to a purpose. Do you think your purpose is to find a job you like - or find a way within yourself to like the job you have? Will that be enough for you, do you think? Or do you think you may get restless again and your soul energy wane? Link to post Share on other sites
Author HokeyReligions Posted January 14, 2005 Author Share Posted January 14, 2005 Originally posted by quankanne People that are looking for the answer, will never stop because they can't accept just being alive. They need a purpose, a goal and some sort of definition of who and what they are or, sometimes people look beyond themselves and realize that in the grand scheme of things, they're just this little dab of goo that ... exists! they grow curious, questioning how they relate to what is around them, what their place is and why they're even there. I think it becomes less and less a journey of self, and more a journey of finding out how we fit in, of what our place is. sometimes the journey is aided by the practice of a religious faith; other times by reading or immersing oneself in a vast array of materials that shed light on the subject, really, just a number of different things can help a person. because we're made/created/built with a thirst to know and to learn, it's a safe bet to say that the journey is an ongoing and ever-changing one! Who you callin' Goo?! LOL If I were looking for my own purpose, I could say that I was meant (created) to be my hubby's wife and love him and accept him even with no sex. But, and this is my opinion, if that is why I was created and I did not stay with my husband (one of us left the other) my life would not then be meaningless. I guess there is more than one purpose. I wanna get into this more, but I gotta go Link to post Share on other sites
Bronzepen Posted January 17, 2005 Share Posted January 17, 2005 Originally posted by HokeyReligions Yes, but WHY? The best person to answer this question would be yourself. Ask yourself this, What if you did not need air/water/food and warmth to stay alive. Would you be happy just sitting down and doing absolutely nothing for the rest of your life, knowing all your needs for staying alive have been met? If answer is no then what's missing? Love, coexitence, communication....what is missing for you? Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted January 17, 2005 Share Posted January 17, 2005 Do you think your purpose is to find a job you like - or find a way within yourself to like the job you have? Will that be enough for you, do you think? Or do you think you may get restless again and your soul energy wane? it goes deeper than just the trappings, because those are temporary – the restlessness comes from searching for your meaning, for what YOU are when you shed all other identifications (wife, mom, writer, chocoholic, avid reader, chatty-Kathry, etc). there's a lovely poem (if it can be called that) I got a copy of during an interview with a church deacon who happens to president of a local junior college. it's written by Cardinal John Henry Newman, called "I have my mission." the opening line goes "God has created me to do Him some definite service; He has committed some work to me which he has not comitted to another …. he has not created me for naught …." it talks about the unique gift that each person has to offer, and no matter what condition that person is in – ill, confused, filled with sorrow – that gift still serves God. not sure how a non-believer would comprehend the message behind this writing, but in an overall kind of way, I think it answers the "what is my reason for being" question because addresses the value of each and every life out there .... Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted January 17, 2005 Share Posted January 17, 2005 If I were looking for my own purpose, I could say that I was meant (created) to be my hubby's wife and love him and accept him even with no sex. But, and this is my opinion, if that is why I was created and I did not stay with my husband (one of us left the other) my life would not then be meaningless. I guess there is more than one purpose. linda, who heads the faith formation office for our diocese, one time made the comment "I am responsible for seeing my husband into Heaven." I thought that was kind of a strange remark, but thinking about it, it does make sense: we are called to witness to others the love of God. I realize you are agnostic, Hoke, but I think in your own way, you are witnessing to your husband – who you've told us had less than a happy childhood and still has problems stemming from that period. you were meant to love him, to show him what it is about. and if it weren't him, it would be someone who needed this from you, be it a child or even the animals you rescue with the great love you have for them. That it is your husband really isn't the point; that it is someone who needs what you have to share, is. ¿entiendes? Link to post Share on other sites
Author HokeyReligions Posted January 17, 2005 Author Share Posted January 17, 2005 Originally posted by Bronzepen The best person to answer this question would be yourself. Ask yourself this, What if you did not need air/water/food and warmth to stay alive. Would you be happy just sitting down and doing absolutely nothing for the rest of your life, knowing all your needs for staying alive have been met? If answer is no then what's missing? Love, coexitence, communication....what is missing for you? I'm not looking for myself - I'm not on a quest for purpose or meaning. I'm content with just being and I'm not missing anything. I'm curious about others and why so many people seem to need some kind of validation for their life. Especially when, from outward appearance, they seem to be validated by their job or family or other things/people, and yet they still search for some other meaning. Link to post Share on other sites
Author HokeyReligions Posted January 17, 2005 Author Share Posted January 17, 2005 Originally posted by quankanne Do you think your purpose is to find a job you like - or find a way within yourself to like the job you have? Will that be enough for you, do you think? Or do you think you may get restless again and your soul energy wane? it goes deeper than just the trappings, because those are temporary – the restlessness comes from searching for your meaning, for what YOU are when you shed all other identifications (wife, mom, writer, chocoholic, avid reader, chatty-Kathry, etc). there's a lovely poem (if it can be called that) I got a copy of during an interview with a church deacon who happens to president of a local junior college. it's written by Cardinal John Henry Newman, called "I have my mission." the opening line goes "God has created me to do Him some definite service; He has committed some work to me which he has not comitted to another …. he has not created me for naught …." it talks about the unique gift that each person has to offer, and no matter what condition that person is in – ill, confused, filled with sorrow – that gift still serves God. not sure how a non-believer would comprehend the message behind this writing, but in an overall kind of way, I think it answers the "what is my reason for being" question because addresses the value of each and every life out there .... Thats what I'm looking for -- the value of every life. Perhaps God sees value in a person in a vegetative state - who can contribute nothing to society, can't give or receive love from family, simply existes as a life-form. What value is there from a religous or faith-based perspective? Perhaps from a secular view that person serves as a teaching aid for medical students and nurses and techies learning about equipment, etc. Maybe that is God's value too? But many people would see no value in a person in that state. How does that person serve God? Is there a ranking in the services to God? In society we are ranked by what we do and how we contribute. [generalization here] A janitor is not as respected as a teacher; a secretary not as respected as a manager; people serve an employer or school or family at different levels. Some never serve any but themselves. I've seen Christians too give respect to others based on what the other people do for a living, or where they live, how they dress in church, etc. Isn't the only real gift a person can give to their God is to believe and worship themselves? Or are there other gifts, and how are they ranked by God? Link to post Share on other sites
Author HokeyReligions Posted January 17, 2005 Author Share Posted January 17, 2005 Originally posted by quankanne If I were looking for my own purpose, I could say that I was meant (created) to be my hubby's wife and love him and accept him even with no sex. But, and this is my opinion, if that is why I was created and I did not stay with my husband (one of us left the other) my life would not then be meaningless. I guess there is more than one purpose. linda, who heads the faith formation office for our diocese, one time made the comment "I am responsible for seeing my husband into Heaven." I thought that was kind of a strange remark, but thinking about it, it does make sense: we are called to witness to others the love of God. I realize you are agnostic, Hoke, but I think in your own way, you are witnessing to your husband – who you've told us had less than a happy childhood and still has problems stemming from that period. you were meant to love him, to show him what it is about. and if it weren't him, it would be someone who needed this from you, be it a child or even the animals you rescue with the great love you have for them. That it is your husband really isn't the point; that it is someone who needs what you have to share, is. ¿entiendes? Its kinds of a "if a tree falls in the forest, and no one is around to hear -- does it still make a noise?" scenario. I can see from others POV that there can be many meanings or reasons for me to be here. But if I don't see it that way, if I don't look for meaning, or feel I must have meaning or purpose to validate my life, if I don't even care for validation -- doesn't then my life become meaningless to those who seek it? I guess a lot of this stems from a convo I had with someone a week or so ago and then saw the posts here about life having a purpose or meaning. I actually had someone cry because they felt so sorry for me and so hopeless and cold because I don't believe in God and don't need to have a reason to live. It surprised me that in the middle of a nice convo about faith and life and problems, she said she holds dearly to the reason God put her here and she finds it a trial sometimes, but fulfilling too. I said I understood how some things that can be so hard and so painful are also totally necessary and fulfilling. The convo continued for a sec and I explained that I don't look for purpose or meaning because it implies a faith in a divine being -- something I do not have. She burst into tears! She cannot grasp that I can be just fine without some purpose or reason and she insisted that my soul must be dead and cold and she went on and on for a while. It got me thinking that maybe I didn't understand why having a purpose or meaning or reason is so necessary for the life of some people. Link to post Share on other sites
Matilda Posted January 17, 2005 Share Posted January 17, 2005 I used to agonize about my purpose in life when I was in my 20's, but after I had my daughter that went away. I don't really think about anymore either. I know I am here to take care of my kids and be a wife to my husband right now. If I didn't have them, there are so many things in this world that I'd like to do, and so many things that need doing, I don't think I'd have trouble finding another "purpose". Have you ever read the book "Man's Search for Meaning", by Viktor Frankl? It is very good, here are a couple of quotes from the book. I think he felt that it was one of man's intrinsic needs. http://www.profitadvisors.com/meaning.shtml "What matters is not the meaning of life in general but the specific meaning of a person's life at a given moment. Everyone has his own specific vocation or mission in life to carry out a concrete assignment which demands fulfillment." "Ultimately, man should not ask what the meaning of his life is, but rather he must recognize that it is he who is asked. Each man is questioned by life and can only answer to life by answering for his own life, by being responsible. Responsibleness is the essence of human existence." http://psychology.about.com/od/shclassic/a/aa50shclassic20.htm Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted January 17, 2005 Share Posted January 17, 2005 Perhaps God sees value in a person in a vegetative state - who can contribute nothing to society, can't give or receive love from family, simply existes as a life-form Miss J. was my grandma. Growing up, I remember most of us kids not really liking her because she could be a bit mean. Not that she'd hit us or anything, but she'd always get after us, and whoever wasn't her favorite caught hell for real or imagined events. We loved her, but only because we had to. in her late 80s, we had to put her into a nursing home because she was starting to forget things. She'd work in her flowerbeds during the hottest part of the day, then go in for a rest, then wake up thinking it was a new day. Her short-term memory was pretty shot, but she could remember when my dad and his sibs were all little kids, or new parents themselves. Often, it took her a good five minutes to recognize me when I'd go see her in the nursing home ... I would go see her not because I wanted to, but because my mother would remind me time and again that just because I didn't have a nice granny, I shouldn't love her. Not very many members of the family went to visit because they couldn't reconcile the fact that the mean mom/grandma didn't recognize them as the senior citizens/grownups that they were, and that whatever mental fog she was in made her nice. I remember telling my mom that as bad as it was (the non-visits and grandma's forgetting people), it was a blessing in disguise, because now maybe we could love her the way she was supposed to be loved, without her being all mean about it. Why? because she responded to every little hug and kiss and "I love you" as happily as she received them -- and this was the grandma we worked hard to avoid growing up!!! so yeah, I'd say in someone's illness, there is still something to be gained, and that the person who is suffering the illness still serves God in his or her own fashion, whether it's allowing people to love them more freely or enabling them to help in ways they'd never thought of before. Or even just showing us that being older and in failing health, we still can make a huge difference in the lives of others (I specifically think of Pope John Paul II as I write this). I explained that I don't look for purpose or meaning because it implies a faith in a divine being -- something I do not have ... she insisted that my soul must be dead and cold *ouch* not exactly how I'd try to win over someone's way of thinking my thoughts? you've got that connection, but you do not necessarily identify it the way that I -- or anyone else -- do. and up until this point, you've never really needed to think about it, right? got me thinking that maybe I didn't understand why having a purpose or meaning or reason is so necessary for the life of some people lol, just think about it in terms of calculus. You've heard about, you've practiced it in the past but now you really don't know how it figures in your life. It does, somehow, though, whether or not you recognize it as calculus. Now, there are some pretty sharp people out there who can identify it when they see it, though most of us cringe at the thought at having to deal with math proofs. But if they are incorporated into our way of life so much so that we kinda innately figure out how to solve them or understand them, without the heart-clenching fear or worry about it being what it is, it's something smooth and natural, if you will ... does that tree in the forest still make a noise? I say yes – because you never ever know who is there to witness the fall or hear that noise! Link to post Share on other sites
Bronzepen Posted January 17, 2005 Share Posted January 17, 2005 Originally posted by HokeyReligions I'm not looking for myself - I'm not on a quest for purpose or meaning. I'm content with just being and I'm not missing anything. I'm curious about others and why so many people seem to need some kind of validation for their life. Especially when, from outward appearance, they seem to be validated by their job or family or other things/people, and yet they still search for some other meaning. Ah, then your question is unanswerable or at least has no definitive answer. Everyone has a diffrent view on what's content for them when it comes to their purpose and meaning in life.. For you, it's just being and your not alone. For others is not enough. Why you say? Same reason why some people like oranges and some don't or why some people prefer to wear long skirts to short skirts. It's a choice based on what we want or don't want, need or not need and desire or not desire. Link to post Share on other sites
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