Depression - chemical or situational?

[lucy_in_disguise]

I have been depressed for about a year.

 

I am not sure if the problem is situational - I feel like I have enough to be depressed ABOUT - or if chemistry is playing a larger role than I've cared to admit.

 

In the past I had bouts of depression, but been able to pull myself out. Exercising + making lifestyle changes (ex. moving to a new apartment, or eliminating sources of stress) used to do the trick.

 

Now I am beginning to wonder though if the issue is inside me. I don't seem to deal well with boredom. A lot of people manage to lead very boring lives and be perfectly content. Unless there is some major life change for me to look forward to, life has always looked bleak to me.

 

I haven't been able to pull myself out of this depression. I am already exercising 5 days a week. I try to be social. Friends and my therapist believe I would be happier if I moved, but that sounds a lot like running away from my problems. I know wherever I go, there I will be.

 

I have a lot to be happy about:

 

-high paying, relatively low-stress job

-recent promotion

-recent home ownership

-ability to take vacations and see my family frequently

 

On the other hand, I am frustrated that:

 

-I live in the cold ****ty midwest which i fcvking hate

-my commute is 1+ hours each way

-my job is boring as fcvk

-I'm 28 years old and single, no prospects

-I have no free time to make new friends or date (see long commute)

-my family live far away and I don't have a strong social network

 

I'm not sure if am depressed because my quality of life sucks, or if I feel like my life sucks because I'm depressed.

 

Do I need to tackle the second list to find happiness? Or should happiness come from within, despite life being less than perfect?

[MidwestUSA]

Yikes. I think you need to focus on that tradeoff - the low stress, decent paying job comes with two major drawbacks that then spill over into your personal life (lack of time). The job really stands out to me as the biggest factor, maybe because I've been there.

 

You'd probably cope with the midwest better if the job was exciting/challenging and other things fell into place as a result.

 

How easy is it for you to change jobs?

[GoreSP]

mix of both - one can influence the other.

It's really hard to figure out how depression started in the first place. It's different from one person to another.

 

However, it seems to me the only good part about your job is the money? You say you make good money, yet you think you quality of life sucks…

Money isn't everything.

 

I'm not telling you you should change jobs - but it's what I would do. That or move closer to work.

 

Also- I live in Canada. stop complaining about the cold.

[erklat]

Unlikely it is chemical unless you have severe cases in your family.

 

Mine is and I'll be on prescription 4life most likely.

 

I am exiting it any so I now how you feel.

 

I can't believe how I lost a year of my life.

 

Though my reasons are bit more acute than yours, not to say you shouldn't be depressed - but to sum it up I live for the day I won't see my family any longer.

 

It is all a matter of perspective. Try being more nonchalant.

[lucy_in_disguise]

The job is definitely major source of unhappiness. On the one hand, I am well paid, work for a great employer, have good job security, a decent amount of flexibility, like the people I work with, etc. All VERY important attributes.

 

On the other hand... due to the long commute at times I feel very disconnected. Going out on the weekdays is out of the question and weekends I am usually catching up on chores or more work. I have been with the same company my whole career, 6 years, and feel like I've been in a rut for the last 3 because nothing in my job/ life has changed.

 

I have been looking for jobs. I have had offers but I'm looking for the right opportunity. Part of the problem is I am not sure if I want to move away. I could probably find something with a shorter commute but as long as I am looking... moving would open up a whole new world of possibilities.

[lucy_in_disguise]

Unlikely it is chemical unless you have severe cases in your family.

 

Mine is and I'll be on prescription 4life most likely.

 

I am exiting it any so I now how you feel.

 

I can't believe how I lost a year of my life.

 

Though my reasons are bit more acute than yours, not to say you shouldn't be depressed - but to sum it up I live for the day I won't see my family any longer.

 

It is all a matter of perspective. Try being more nonchalant.

 

How do you know yours is chemical? Is there a way to test for that?

 

I'm sorry to hear that you're depressed.

 

I suspect chemicals are at least partly responsible for mine. I feel like I have always had a lower baseline of happiness than other people. I was a troubled teen, a suicidal young adult. It has only been the last 6 years since I have become a "real" adult that I have been able to manage it better. I make a conscious effort to get enough exercise, eat right, get enough sleep, get enough social stimulation. But in the last year, despite the effort, I feel like I've been slipping.

[erklat]

You can't test.

You can make an educated guess based on disease Genesis within the family and medication which works and which doesn't.

MD said that most likely my Serotonine neurological receptors don't work well.

I feel better with my medication so I don't feel like changing anything.

 

I'm coping. My dad tried to demolish my life from his financial issues and discontent with his own life.

 

But I survived and I think I'm near the solution.

Also I'm two yrs past when I should have graduated.

[mrnova66]

Well OP I am sorry to hear what your going through. Well I am worse off. I am 47 and it is pretty bad. As far as this depression thing. There is no such of a thing. This is the way I see it. If a person has been screw around,Beat down, Always rejected by women no matter what the hell you do. Never had a GD father figure to look up to other than screaming on top of his lungs at you(Never used finger nail clippers in my life because of my nerves. Always biting them) Never had a true friend no matter what the hell I do. Cannot sleep but 3 to 4 hours a night. In turn it is destroying my body. SO TELL ME ABOUT IT!!!I know all about this screw up world. There will be people on here that will tell me that it is all my fault or the big word DEPRESSED!!!!!Being a misfit as a result of being a abuse is not societies fault.. NO!!NO!!!That cannot be. It is the victims fault. Then to top it all off people will say after someone has done something drastic/suicide to theirself will say well how about all the love ones he left behind. DO YOU KNOW HOW STUPID THAT SOUNDS? Does society ever stop to think that their is some people in this world that was never loved, But abused/used all their miserable lives. And as a result they are 10 feet underground because they were not loved. If people would just come out of their little world and just think. In the last 6 days I have might have gotten 8 hours of sleep over a lot of crap in my life. My body is telling me it is in pain. My brain has just taken all it can stand. All over the past. Then you have people say that the past has nothing to do with today.. BULL!!!!What a crop!!!!I have just about had it!!!!

Edited February 1, 2014 by mrnova66

[FitChick]

Research articles online about cities where you could find a similar job. Read their local newspapers online to get a feel for the place. Join a free dating website just to look at the profiles of men who live in those cities. Narrow down your choices and take 4 days weekends to go there for a visit, whether you meet a man you like or not. See how much it costs to buy or sell a house or what rentals are like. Then set up job interviews for the one or two places where you'd like to live.

 

If you live in the midwest, I'd say part of your mood is due to cabin fever. Having to stay inside due to cold and lack of sunlight. Take at least 1000IU of Vitamin D3 which is safer for depression. You don't want to start down that slippery slope of pharmaceuticals. That would really be depressing!

[lucy_in_disguise]

Research articles online about cities where you could find a similar job. Read their local newspapers online to get a feel for the place. Join a free dating website just to look at the profiles of men who live in those cities. Narrow down your choices and take 4 days weekends to go there for a visit, whether you meet a man you like or not. See how much it costs to buy or sell a house or what rentals are like. Then set up job interviews for the one or two places where you'd like to live.

 

If you live in the midwest, I'd say part of your mood is due to cabin fever. Having to stay inside due to cold and lack of sunlight. Take at least 1000IU of Vitamin D3 which is safer for depression. You don't want to start down that slippery slope of pharmaceuticals. That would really be depressing!

 

Yes, I am not interested in taking medication except as a last resort.

 

That said, I feel like I've tried pretty hard to beat the depression, but it's not working. I think I will have to consider that option if I stay in this climate. I get depressed every winter and it seems to get worse every year.

 

Maybe I am lying to myself, but I truly believe I would be happier somewhere warmer. A place where I can enjoy the outdoors year-round.

 

I hate giving up on the midwest, but lately, the thought of leaving is the only one that brings me any peace. I am thinking west coast or CO.

[TouchedByViolet]

Why would you buy a home in a place you don't like that is an hour commute from work? You probably should have just rented something close to work.

 

Anyway, you should look for a job you enjoy in a city you would be happy to live in.

[lucy_in_disguise]

Why would you buy a home in a place you don't like that is an hour commute from work? You probably should have just rented something close to work.

 

Anyway, you should look for a job you enjoy in a city you would be happy to live in.

 

I wanted to take advantage of the depressed real estate market and low interest rates. I am planning to rent it out if/when I move. (My mortgage is about half what I can charge in rent).

 

Even if I sold it now, I believe I could make a good profit. So, I don't regret the decision.

[TouchedByViolet]

I wanted to take advantage of the depressed real estate market and low interest rates. I am planning to rent it out if/when I move. (My mortgage is about half what I can charge in rent).

 

Even if I sold it now, I believe I could make a good profit. So, I don't regret the decision.

 

Well that's good then. You will spend roughly 1/3 of your life at work, it's really important to enjoy it. Also, if you live somewhere you are happy hopefully you will find a SO who shares your likes.

[Mariposa10]

I think there's clinical depression and the other kind of depression we all sometimes get.

 

Someone, who saw a psychologist about his depression, told me that the psychologist told him that many times depression comes from frustration. I think this is your case. The good thing is that I think you can improve your situation. But in your case there are things you can do. You have said you have started to look for a good job, that's really good. Try to see the big picture, you're still young, you will find someone but you need to make some changes. Make a list of things you feel like if you were to change your life would improve (which I think you've made that list here already)and take it slowly.

 

I have been feeling depressed because I'm sooooo frustrated with stuff that has happened to me recently. But I'm trying to take things slowly and try to set smaller goals about my life, since everything seems to have collapsed.

 

I think we just need to be more proactive about our lives!