When working out just isn't enough for a "good" body...

[Avulare]

I go to the gym four to five days a week to do both cardio and strength training, am enrolled in a pilates class, go hiking regularly (and walk to school - which is literally a hike in and of itself), and eat better than most people my age. But my body doesn't look good or fit, no matter what I do.

 

My body tends to store fat around my lower middle, so no matter how much or little I weigh (I'm 5'4" and fluctuate between 115 and 125), I still have a noticeable gut and love handles. I've never been able to see my ab muscles even when when I'm at my peak of fitness. The muscles are there, they're just not visible under the permaflab.

 

Additionally, my lower ribs stick out too much in front (like this, this, or this - maybe not as bad as that last one), which I'm secretly self-conscious about as well. Adding insult to injury, I have A-cup boobs on top of that, and most of the time my ribs stick out more than my boobs.

 

Do any other women on here feel like their bodies just don't look good, even when they're fit? Is this a dealbreaker for a guy? I'm healthy and fit (even if my body doesn't show it that well), but I feel like the only guys I can attract are overweight. I'm not attracted to overweight guys that can't keep up with me on a hike.

 

Two things I do like about my body are that I have a really tiny waist (despite my love handles) and a pretty awesome butt. But I feel like those won't make up for the fact that I don't have a tight, flat stomach.

[mukkrakker]

You need to get a medical evaluation - you may have thyroid issues or some metabolic problems. Some people are genetically disposed to an inability to gain any benefit from exercise and/or diet.

If you can eliminate those as the source of problems, get a personal trainer to walk you through exercises specific to your issues.

[Mr Scorpio]

Do any other women on here feel like their bodies just don't look good, even when they're fit? Is this a dealbreaker for a guy? Two things I do like about my body are that I have a really tiny waist (despite my love handles) and a pretty awesome butt. But I feel like those won't make up for the fact that I don't have a tight, flat stomach.

 

 

 

Not many people do have a tight, flat stomach. Further, you shouldn't get down on yourself because you cannot achieve the Hollywood-standard of what a healthy body should look like. That being said, no, it isn't a deal-breaker. For guys who like petite-women, it could be a deal maker.

[kiss_andmakeup]

You're holding yourself to way too high of a standard, OP! Cheers to you for being healthy and fit...you should be proud of your body.

 

As women we've been a bit warped with what we expect to look like. But guess what - everyone has a "problem area". Even the beautiful airbrushed actresses in magazines. Myself, I'm very thin, but my hips and thighs are a bit weird - my thighs are a bit larger or "go out more" than my hips, which to me looks horrible when I'm naked. It used to drive me insane. And every boyfriend I've ever explained it to, has been like "uhhhh...what?" They never would have even noticed (let alone cared) if I hadn't pointed it out.

 

We are certainly our own worst critics.

[GoreSP]

Keeping fit is great but too much of a good thing is not a good thing.

 

You say you are eating well - but maybe you are spending way too much energy for what you are eating? Meeting with a nutritionist maybe?

 

You could also be stuck in a plateau and simply need to switch the training a bit. I took up crossfit lately and woah!

 

Also, I remember a trainer telling me that with strength training, your muscles needs at least 48 hours rest between work out so if you are working the same muscle groups 4-5 times a week it would be counter productive.

 

Finally, at 5'4, between 115 and 125 is actually in the low end of your healthy weight. You are probably nowhere near as 'chubby' as you think you are.

[FitChick]

Try some Tracy Anderson workouts. She sells DVDs but there are a few videos on youtube. I agree that you need to do something different to get different results.

[Allumere]

If you have tried everything, eliminated everything, and it still bugs you then consider cosmetic procedures. BUT that has to be for you, not because you think some gent will be more attracted to ya. Of course, if it gives you more self-confidence, guys will pick up on that and so you may get more attention. With that said guys aren't nearly as critical as we are....sure some may have unrealistic expectations but not the majority.

 

.

[lucy_in_disguise]

You are probably being over-critical. Who the fcvk notices ribs?

 

I am guessing the reason you can't attract non-overweight guys is your body image/ self esteem issues. Not your actual body.

[Avulare]

Gah, I didn't intend to make it sound like I had health problems or thought I was fat or anything.

 

I am perfectly healthy and fit (no need to see a doctor about anything), it's just that I feel like my body doesn't really show it because of the way my body fat is distributed. I've had people tell me I'm skinny but when I walk by a mirror I see my belly showing through my shirt. I feel like I have a "muffin top" even when I'm not wearing anything. But at the same time I have no boobs. That sort of stuff.

 

I don't let my self-consciousness show, ever. The only two close friends I've told about it were totally surprised when I told them that I'm not happy with how I look. And in fact, I'm pretty confident in every aspect of my life except my ability to attract men, due to the fact that I've never been in a situation where there's been mutual attraction between me and a guy.

 

This has been bugging me more than usual lately because I saw a guy on OKC I'd like to ask out for a drink, since he's pretty much literally the first guy I've seen on there in my area isn't a loser pothead, but I haven't been able to muster up the courage to send him a message. He's outdoorsy and and has a super lean, tight body (not my ideal body on a guy but his other aspects make up for it) - and I guess I'm terrified that he'll be sort of disgusted by me and I'll just get rejected again. :\

 

Thanks for the feedback folks.

Edited February 3, 2014 by Avulare

[melell]

 

Two things I do like about my body are that I have a really tiny waist (despite my love handles) and a pretty awesome butt. But I feel like those won't make up for the fact that I don't have a tight, flat stomach.

 

Honestly, this sounds to me like a body type thing. Do you know your body shape, apple, pear etc?

 

All body shapes have their strengths and weaknesses! I think it is Catherine Zeta Jones and Angelina Jolie that are both apple shape- nearly impossible to get a tiny toned waist unless really underweight,not much ass, but killer boobs and legs.

 

Pear shape, think Kim K, awesome curves but so bottom heavy. It must be annoying to wear tight pants.

 

I might have the shapes wrong, but I know there are strengths and weaknesses to each

 

I am rectangle shaped and I look like a young boy but with big boobs. Pretty much zero curves, but on the plus side I keep slender legs and look long and lean even though I am pretty short.

 

Always pros and cons. If you keep lifting you will get ripped, but there is only so much you can do to change your body shape.

 

Aim to be healthy, and be happy to be healthy

[Emilia]

I don't know what you do for strength training OP and I don't know what you do exactly for cardio (intensity, interval, etc) but it sounds like what I see a lot of women do: spending huge amounts of time on ineffective exercise.

 

I put weight on my belly but I have managed to turn my body shape around (losing the fat from the middle, good bum and good legs) by weight training. I train on average 3 days a week, sometimes manage an extra day (I try to do one evening run of 5kms a week) but I don't waste my time on the elliptic, walking on the treadmill, low intensity stuff on the bike while reading, etc. Which is what most women with high body fat % I see doing.

[Eternal Sunshine]

I thought the same as you OP but lifting heavy weights (specifically 5x5 program) changed my life. I only do it 2-3x week too.

[Els]

OP, I think it's really just about your body type. Pear-shaped women put weight on below the torso, and struggle to put weight on above. Hence why you have a bit of a belly but also A-cup boobs. The majority of models we see are hourglass-shaped or apple-shaped, hence the distortion between what you believe you should look like and what you actually look like.

 

If you want to refine your looks further, you can do the workouts the others suggested. But IMO, the main issue here is in your head. You don't have to 'make up' for not having a flat stomach. Most people, men and women, don't have perfectly flat stomachs. And those who do, usually have other things about their body that they might want to change. There will always be something.

 

Keep up your diet and exercise but don't worry too much about it.

 

You need to get a medical evaluation - you may have thyroid issues or some metabolic problems. Some people are genetically disposed to an inability to gain any benefit from exercise and/or diet.

If you can eliminate those as the source of problems, get a personal trainer to walk you through exercises specific to your issues.

 

It is very unlikely that a 5'4" woman weighing 115-125 lbs has a thyroid or metabolic disorder. That is a perfectly normal weight for the height.

[tman666]

First of all, be proud that you lead a healthy life. As previously mentioned, body types vary widely. Focus on being the best version of yourself, and avoid comparing yourself to others.

 

Secondly, I've found that a lot of things aren't so much what you do, but how you do them. While I don't say this as a slight to you in any way, there are probably things you can improve upon in your diet/training approach. Everyone has room for improvement, no matter what level they're on.

 

If you gave some specifics about what your routine looks like, what your diet looks like, and what some of your physical capabilities are, we'd have a better chance of suggesting tips that might make a difference.

[BOREDouttaMymind]

overworking your body actual can be detrimental to getting fit. you go to the gym too many times a week.

 

im a gym pro.

[theothersully]

I don't know what you do for strength training OP and I don't know what you do exactly for cardio (intensity, interval, etc) but it sounds like what I see a lot of women do: spending huge amounts of time on ineffective exercise.

 

I put weight on my belly but I have managed to turn my body shape around (losing the fat from the middle, good bum and good legs) by weight training. I train on average 3 days a week, sometimes manage an extra day (I try to do one evening run of 5kms a week) but I don't waste my time on the elliptic, walking on the treadmill, low intensity stuff on the bike while reading, etc. Which is what most women with high body fat % I see doing.

 

Very true.

 

I'd like to hear the op's exercise regimen, as well as her actual dietary intake, including fat makers like Starbucks, Juices and soda, white flour, eating out, fast foods, etc.

 

Most people get the food intake wrong.

[KatZee]

I'm a pear as well. I have an A-cup but have bang a.ss thighs, hips, and bootay.

 

I also had the issue of putting weight on my mid-section and it wasn't until I started CrossFit (which pretty much is what Emilia & Eternal Sunshine are talking about). I lift heavy weights and do high intensity training.

 

To be honest, I've lost weight around my mid-section and that was my goal, but someone took a picture of me recently and I looked at and now I think I look super stupid. I now have a smaller top half and wide curvy hips and now I think I look disproportionate. I think I looked more even with some mid section weight. BAH!

 

No one can ever win, we are our own worst critics.

[newmoon]

I go to the gym four to five days a week to do both cardio and strength training, am enrolled in a pilates class, go hiking regularly (and walk to school - which is literally a hike in and of itself), and eat better than most people my age. But my body doesn't look good or fit, no matter what I do.

 

My body tends to store fat around my lower middle, so no matter how much or little I weigh (I'm 5'4" and fluctuate between 115 and 125), I still have a noticeable gut and love handles. I've never been able to see my ab muscles even when when I'm at my peak of fitness. The muscles are there, they're just not visible under the permaflab.

 

Additionally, my lower ribs stick out too much in front (like this, this, or this - maybe not as bad as that last one), which I'm secretly self-conscious about as well. Adding insult to injury, I have A-cup boobs on top of that, and most of the time my ribs stick out more than my boobs.

 

Do any other women on here feel like their bodies just don't look good, even when they're fit? Is this a dealbreaker for a guy? I'm healthy and fit (even if my body doesn't show it that well), but I feel like the only guys I can attract are overweight. I'm not attracted to overweight guys that can't keep up with me on a hike.

 

Two things I do like about my body are that I have a really tiny waist (despite my love handles) and a pretty awesome butt. But I feel like those won't make up for the fact that I don't have a tight, flat stomach.

 

maybe your ribs stick out too much because you're trying to get the flat midsection? with weight around the middle it wouldn't be so prominent. just my experience... I am stick thin, no curves, just up and down like a pole, and men I date have always wanted me to gain weight and put some fat on. I have finally come to the conclusion that women who judge their own bodies harshly are crazy; men could really care less. and actually, i have found most (real men) prefer women with some meat instead of my figure - because a bit of fat in the right places gives shape to the body. it's just magazines and media that make the thin body seem appealing. just be healthy and look good.

Edited February 7, 2014 by newmoon

[FitChick]

Do you have scoliosis? These are extreme examples. See a chiropractor to find out for sure. It manifests in different ways. Also perhaps you just have poor posture. Stand up straight and hold in your abs.

Edited February 7, 2014 by FitChick

[Emilia]

I'm a pear as well. I have an A-cup but have bang a.ss thighs, hips, and bootay.

 

I also had the issue of putting weight on my mid-section and it wasn't until I started CrossFit (which pretty much is what Emilia & Eternal Sunshine are talking about). I lift heavy weights and do high intensity training.

 

To be honest, I've lost weight around my mid-section and that was my goal, but someone took a picture of me recently and I looked at and now I think I look super stupid. I now have a smaller top half and wide curvy hips and now I think I look disproportionate. I think I looked more even with some mid section weight. BAH!

 

No one can ever win, we are our own worst critics.

I was talking about weight lifting and general strength training. Everyone is different but I never liked crossfit. Never really rated it to be honest, it doesn't surprise me that it didn't build you a balanced physique.