mikecr50 Posted February 11, 2014 Share Posted February 11, 2014 Of course he misses you as well! If you tell someone not to contact you they shouldn't and smart ones won't, has nothing to do with feelings. I wasn't the one that ended my relationship and would never contact her again. Now if she contacted me I'm not sure I would be able to not respond. Relationships aren't always the way we want and it's painful but so worth it when you find the right one- you will! Link to post Share on other sites
Author wasntlooking Posted February 12, 2014 Author Share Posted February 12, 2014 Ive been reading a lot of threads and it seems most of the time when people try to go NC it never works. Just wondering why in my case it actually is. I will always havr feelings for him, wish that i wouldnt but i felt so strong for him thats why i got scared and ended it. I guess i just wonder why my NC is sticking on both ends. Im trying so hard not to break it. I do want to talk to him again. What would it look like from a male pov if i did contact him and i was the one that ended it? Link to post Share on other sites
sunburned Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 Awww, wasn't looking, sorry this is so hard for you!!! You are wrong though. NC does work. It's not easy, it's not pain-free. But it does work. It's working RIGHT NOW for you. You just don't realize it. You've said you don't want to re-enter the affair (hmmm, really true?) so what would be the point of contacting him again? Just to hear him say he really misses you and your time together meant something to him? That's the best case scenario. And even in that best case scenario, he would do nothing about it. He told you he loves his W and didn't want to leave, right? You also said you would never leave your family. So, the two of you would be boo-hooing and back to square one of NC. But there are other scenarios. What if (iffffffffff, not saying it was the case ...) he was just using you and you got back in touch. He might say NOTHING. Or he might say "sorry, we had our fun but I'm done." You know from reading the threads here it is nearly impossible to go back to being just friends (which is what I wanted when my own A ended). I still have that "I'm the exception, I really could be just friends" mentality but he made it clear he couldn't. In hindsight, I know he was actually right. You are smart, taking it day by day. Deciding each minute of each day not to contact. Your feelings will fade. You are doing the right thing. You are no longer a cheater! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author wasntlooking Posted February 12, 2014 Author Share Posted February 12, 2014 I know im being totally obsessive about this and am an extreme slow learner and i really shouldnt care what he thinks. I know all that. Im having a hard time being left hanging by XMM. By that i mean the no responsd i got when i told him its over. I feel left hanging bh not knowing what was going on in his head. Its like someone building an awesome story up and then saying im not going to tell you how it ends. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 Stay strong and don't cave. NC does work. It's working for me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author wasntlooking Posted February 12, 2014 Author Share Posted February 12, 2014 During my most weak moments that i want to contact him, what usually helps is thinkig of his family. I really dont want to hurt his wife of kids lives anymore and contacting him would open that door again for the possibility of someone getting hurt. Just keep teling myself that...... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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