When you are lacking something when dating don't you have to look for

[BlametheIrish]

I guess life experiences has just made me not care to impress women with materialistic things

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Poor excuse, a car is a necessary thing to have for many human beings. Calling it materialistiv is grasping at straws for an excuse.

_____

To me it's better to live alone and building up savings/credit instead of living at home with my mom

_____

This is goid fot you, but many younger people benefit greatly from living at home and saving up.

_____

And I try not to get caught up in having cars because if a freak accident happens and I get injured and lose my job then what? So I am a Big picture guy

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This is just silly

[WP4046]

______

This is just silly

 

 

 

So I can't save while on my own? Isnt it better to live alone and save instead of living with other people?

[Tayla]

Its okay to save however you choose, but in saving, let it not be at the expense of mooching off another. I sense that you mooch rides to save yourself money . Spin it however you want, I just don't think that is above board to quite frank.

 

to be honest, there are some women and men that shouldnt have a car or license. Ask anyone who is in the M.A.D.D. group.

[WP4046]

Its okay to save however you choose, but in saving, let it not be at the expense of mooching off another. I sense that you mooch rides to save yourself money . Spin it however you want, I just don't think that is above board to quite frank.

 

to be honest, there are some women and men that shouldnt have a car or license. Ask anyone who is in the M.A.D.D. group.

 

 

There is no mooching because both are offering something the other is lacking

 

She has the car...........and no place and I have the place and no car

 

So if we want to travel..........she has the car, if we want a quiet evening with privacy I have the place.

[BradJacobs]

You choose: to live alone, to have transportation, to save, to build up credit.

She chooses: to live alone, to have transportation, to save, to build up credit.

 

Her choices benefit you in that she's always coming to your place (since you won't go to a place with roommates) and she can drive if you head out of town.

 

Your choices benefit her in that you two have a quiet place to be alone together but she'll have to drive to get there.

 

To me your theory isn't sustainable.

[WP4046]

You choose: to live alone, to have transportation, to save, to build up credit.

She chooses: to live alone, to have transportation, to save, to build up credit.

 

Her choices benefit you in that she's always coming to your place (since you won't go to a place with roommates) and she can drive if you head out of town.

 

Your choices benefit her in that you two have a quiet place to be alone together but she'll have to drive to get there.

 

To me your theory isn't sustainable.

 

 

 

Why would someone visit a person who has roommates?

[MissBee]

I don't see dating quite like you do.

 

I don't calculate all the things I have and lack then look for a man who has them.

 

You say you're not trying to impress women with material things, but I don't see what impressing anyone has to do with anything really. You seem to also make material circumstances the basis of your dating where you look for women who lack certain material things so that you can then impress them with the thing that they lack that you have....so really what you're saying is that you only want women who will be impressed by the material stuff you have because they don't have them.

 

I look for a man who complements me and where him being in my life adds positively to it and vice-versa. I don't really think of it in terms of oh I have a car, he doesn't, but he has a house or whatever. It doesn't work like that for me. I date men based on more fundamental areas of compatibility, other things may come into play later on but I don't go into it looking for certain things. The car thing isn't really an issue where I live as I live in the city and transportation is great, having a car is more of a hassle than a convenience here. I have roommates and most people in this city do as well as it's a college city and very expensive and most young people in the city are college or graduate students or young professionals and most have roommates, so it's the norm here. If I met a man with his own place it would be a lot more convenient than both of us having roommates, but I don't look for "men without roommates" when I'm dating and certainly wouldn't see it as some weird bargaining chip where I can be like "So I don't have X but I do have my own place so what about that?!"

[WP4046]

I don't see dating quite like you do.

 

I don't calculate all the things I have and lack then look for a man who has them.

 

You say you're not trying to impress women with material things, but I don't see what impressing anyone has to do with anything really. You seem to also make material circumstances the basis of your dating where you look for women who lack certain material things so that you can then impress them with the thing that they lack that you have....so really what you're saying is that you only want women who will be impressed by the material stuff you have because they don't have them.

 

I look for a man who complements me and where him being in my life adds positively to it and vice-versa. I don't really think of it in terms of oh I have a car, he doesn't, but he has a house or whatever. It doesn't work like that for me. I date men based on more fundamental areas of compatibility, other things may come into play later on but I don't go into it looking for certain things. The car thing isn't really an issue where I live as I live in the city and transportation is great, having a car is more of a hassle than a convenience here. I have roommates and most people in this city do as well as it's a college city and very expensive and most young people in the city are college or graduate students or young professionals and most have roommates, so it's the norm here. If I met a man with his own place it would be a lot more convenient than both of us having roommates, but I don't look for "men without roommates" when I'm dating and certainly wouldn't see it as some weird bargaining chip where I can be like "So I don't have X but I do have my own place so what about that?!"

 

 

But doesn't that make having company kind of difficult if you have a roomate?

[pickflicker]

But doesn't that make having company kind of difficult if you have a roomate?

 

No. People do it all the time. Lots of young people living out of home do so in a share house situation. They're all dating just fine.

 

In any case, your method of dating seems to be all about expending minimum effort and expecting maximum results. You refuse to take any risk. Whether it be money, or an ability to drive you, when you expect someone should give you their number, etc, you seem to think of dating in purely economic terms, with no room for emotion. "What can they do for me?"

 

Many women - hell, many people, are, and have, see it as....well, cheap. And self-serving.

[MissBee]

But doesn't that make having company kind of difficult if you have a roomate?

 

No...

 

I'm not sure what you're imagining. I've pretty much had roommates all my adult life. From living in dorms and apartments in college and now as a grad student in a very expensive city where most people have roommates, and even with roommates the rent is still expensive. So for me all my dating life I've had roommates and so has it been for a lot of my friends and it works fine.

 

Is having your own place more convenient? Yes. Most of my boyfriends/guys I dated were older than me, so while I was in college for example, they weren't and had established themselves a bit more by then and had their own place so we would go there most times if we wanted privacy or to do sleepovers. But they also came to my place as well to hang out sometimes. If I had guests over or my roommate does, we give each other privacy, it's not a big deal. If my roommate has company, i.e. a date, she will let me know beforehand and sometimes I will make plans to not be around to give her privacy or I come home pop in and say hi if they're in the living room then I'm in my room after. They aren't bothering me or me them. Sure they may not have loud raucous sex as they would if alone, but it still works. We also have our own lives so some weekends she's out of town, sometimes I am, and the other can have the place to themselves.

 

Definitely living alone is A LOT better as you don't need to be considerate of anyone or coordinate. That's undeniable, but it is not as difficult as you're making it sound to have a dating life with roommates.

[WP4046]

No. People do it all the time. Lots of young people living out of home do so in a share house situation. They're all dating just fine.

 

In any case, your method of dating seems to be all about expending minimum effort and expecting maximum results. You refuse to take any risk. Whether it be money, or an ability to drive you, when you expect someone should give you their number, etc, you seem to think of dating in purely economic terms, with no room for emotion. "What can they do for me?"

 

Many women - hell, many people, are, and have, see it as....well, cheap. And self-serving.

 

 

So this girl found out I was ordering a pizza and wings to watch the SB tomorrow and then said....."I want to come over"

 

I think she sounds hungry

[SpiralOut]

Why would someone visit a person who has roommates?

 

Because it's a pain in the ass for a person to be constantly hauling an overnight bag over to your place and driving back and forth all the time. Sometimes a girl wants to sleep in her own bed, especially if driving to her job in the morning is faster for her than if she were to drive from your place. When you care about someone, you should be willing to do things that make them happy sometimes.

 

 

Then again, if you're dating someone who is more than happy to be at your place all the time, I guess that works well for both of you.

[BlametheIrish]

So I can't save while on my own? Isnt it better to live alone and save instead of living with other people?

 

"And I try not to get caught up in having cars

because if a freak accident happens and I get

injured and lose my job then what? So I am a Big

picture guy"

 

No the above is just silly, ridiculous actually.

I commented on each individual statement. I said its great that your saving up if you read my entire response.

Edited February 2, 2014 by BlametheIrish

[BradJacobs]

Why would someone visit a person who has roommates?

A roommate can be a great ally in your love life or they can be a menacing foe.

 

Think about the thought process when selecting a roommate:

1. Will living with this person be good for me?

2. Do we have enough in common that it won't be a distraction or cause arguments?

3. Do I trust them to pay their share of expenses and not steal from me?

 

It reads pretty similar to how we select romantic partners. Why take a chance in creating an enemy with a person such as this?

 

I am having a tough time believing that you've dated women who have agreed to your terms. Hooked up with? Certainly possible. Been in a relationship with? Harder time believing that one.