Wishing Well - ideal state of love life according to men

[czanclus]

Heterosexual men,

 

Please use this thread to describe what it is that you would consider to be the ideal state of your love life, and in that context to explain what dating means to you as well as what do you look for when you are 'looking to meet someone?'

 

Would you ideally have a harem of women? Would there be classes and hierarchy within this harem? What privileges and duties would different women from this harem enjoy/have? Who would not qualify for a harem?

 

Absent the harem, would you 'settle' for serial monogamy? Would there nonetheless be the 'sine qua non' women that you would always want in some (and to what extent, decrivez s'il vous plait) way?

 

On the notion of dating - it is the journey and never the destination that matters, correct? You wouldn't say you're wading through the dating pool so that you can eventually meet 'the one', right? Or are the women you pick up in the dating process collateral for the 'ultimate reward' of 'the one'? I sense a sense of inconvenient societal imposition when it comes to your preferences.

 

But I would rather learn your thoughts.

 

I plan to print the gathered information and show it to my daughter and all her heterosexual female friends and everyone I can reach with this information so that they can have a realistic insight into spontaneous thoughts of the gender they are pursuing with their own ostensibly conflicting agenda.

 

Let's make the two genders closer to understanding one another and making sincere choices when it comes to letting someone into our lives.

[BradJacobs]

I plan to print the gathered information and show it to my daughter and all her heterosexual female friends and everyone I can reach with this information so that they can have a realistic insight into spontaneous thoughts of the gender they are pursuing with their own ostensibly conflicting agenda.

 

Let's make the two genders closer to understanding one another and making sincere choices when it comes to letting someone into our lives.

It's all about choices.

Edited February 2, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[czanclus]

Humor me though... What would your love life be like if it were up to your fancies only?

[MrNate 2.0]

Ideally, it would be nice to have a selection of women to choose from.

 

That could range from the sweet average looking blonde, to the rowdy smokin hot brunette. They'd of course have their own unique physical features that stand out as well.

 

Some may have a nicer chest. Some a nicer ass. Some just might have both.

 

Ah yes. Variety is the spice of life.

[BradJacobs]

Humor me though... What would your love life be like if it were up to your fancies only?

Exactly as it is today (well not tonight since she's out of town this weekend) but I wouldn't change anything.

 

I'm a totally fanbois of monogamy at this stage in my life.

 

It wasn't settling. It was a choice that I made knowing that what I was giving up was less than what was in front of me.

[czanclus]

Thank you, Mr. Nate 2.0. Would each of these women be part of the picture for a brief time, or would they have more permanent statuses? In the latter case, would they oblige to your alternating between the flavor du jour as the mood strikes you, or would they all ~simultaneously~ participate in the love making seanses? Or would there be any such rules at all...

[czanclus]

Thank you, BradJacobs. Entre nous, is it conceivable that your current woman is replaceable by any different woman/creature/unicorn (kidding on the unicorn... I think)? Could another creature walk into your life and cause you to demote your current lady to a nice memory without the future that she may believe she has with you now?

[somedude81]

Ha, ultimate unrealistic fantasy?

 

Live in a four bedroom house. I have my own bedroom, my three girlfriends will have their own rooms.

 

One white with blonde hair, one Hispanic, the other one Asian.

 

All of them are great at what they do.

 

Cooking

 

The white girl would cook "American" and Italian food. The Hispanic girl would do Mexican, and the Asian would do Chinese, Japanese and Thai. We'd never need to eat out

 

Oh yeah, and they're all bi

Edited February 2, 2014 by somedude81

[czanclus]

Thank you, somedude81. Would this be a permanent menage-a-quatre, or would there be satellites that visit the sex/love/cooking parties more or less sporadically? Further, would the ladies (the blonde, the latina and the asian) become redundant once their age betrays their initial luster, or would there be qualities (cooking skills included) that would make them forever part of your life?

[BradJacobs]

Thank you, BradJacobs. Entre nous, is it conceivable that your current woman is replaceable by any different woman/creature/unicorn (kidding on the unicorn... I think)? Could another creature walk into your life and cause you to demote your current lady to a nice memory without the future that she may believe she has with you now?

Conceivable? Certainly.

 

However recognizing the possibility that could happen does not hinder my resolve.

 

I've had more than my fair share of women. This one captivates me in ways that I never expected.

[MrNate 2.0]

Thank you, Mr. Nate 2.0. Would each of these women be part of the picture for a brief time, or would they have more permanent statuses? In the latter case, would they oblige to your alternating between the flavor du jour as the mood strikes you, or would they all ~simultaneously~ participate in the love making seanses? Or would there be any such rules at all...

 

Depending on personas and such, it could become a long term thing. However it wouldn't be a bad thing to get the option to cycle things out in case things get stale after a point.

[somedude81]

Thank you, somedude81. Would this be a permanent menage-a-quatre, or would there be satellites that visit the sex/love/cooking parties more or less sporadically? Further, would the ladies (the blonde, the latina and the asian) become redundant once their age betrays their initial luster, or would there be qualities (cooking skills included) that would make them forever part of your life?

Ménage à quatre, surprisingly enough, is an actual term.

 

No, there wouldn't be any need for visitors. The three different women should be enough to cover everything as long as their hobbies, interests and personalities have enough variation. All of them can have a "normal" sex drive and I should be able to meet all of their needs.

 

As long as harmony is maintained I can see it being a permanent situation.

 

I don't see losing luster a problem as long as they are all 10-15 years younger than me, Though I won't go lower than 21. I'm 32 and my ex-GF was 21 and the age gap between us felt perfect. So when I'm 50 the lowest I'd go is 35. By the time the women are 50, I'd be 65 chomping on the blue pills

 

I'm not sure how kids work out but they'd probably happen. I'd need a bigger house.

 

Of course this is all fantasy.

[Weezy1973]

I've always been about the monogamy and never even had fantasies involving multiple women. I can't even do the multi-dating thing, which I think ultimately is a disadvantage in the dating world. I believe a deep connection with one person who knows all your quirks and secrets is infinitely more valuable than any kind of advantage of having more surface relationships with many women.

 

I, however, do not believe in the concept of "the one". I think there are potentially many "ones" out there for everybody. Ultimately, I would like to find someone to be with for the rest of my life.

[czanclus]

BradJones,

 

Does the fact that you've had your fair share of women by this point in time influence your resolve, and do you ever - even if rarely - wonder if there was an experience that your current lady couldn't give you (for whatever, but realistic reason) that you missed out on?

 

Could your current lady have captivated you to the extent that she does now if you had met her in the early days of your dating life?

[czanclus]

MrNate 2.0,

 

Please describe the experience of 'getting stale' as it feels to you internally. Is it due to your tastes changing, and she no longer conforms to those tastes? If she were to change her behavior and look (to the extent that it still maintains her genetic identity) according to your tastes (in this hypothetical, naturally and spontaneously), would she stand a chance of keeping your interest, or would you still desire another - genetically different - woman instead?

 

[Feel free to disregard the direction in which I am leading the question, and answer just the first prompt freely as you would without any further sub-questions, if you'd rather.]

[czanclus]

 

Of course this is all fantasy.

 

Of course, and a respectable one by all accounts. Thank you for clarifying on the optimal age difference as a factor in maintaining your partnership interest.

 

Suspending reality further if need be, while three women are 'enough to cover everything', are three women necessary to cover everything? If a woman-creature born out of some fantasy could do everything that the three women described in your fantasy together can do except emerge in more than one state per time interval (of say 1 hour), would she alone be enough to cover everything? By 'do everything' I mean assume Asian, blonde Caucasian and Hispanic form with all the hobbies and skills you'd wish the three of them to have collectively.

 

You mentioned the three of them being bi-sexual - thus you'd obviously be shortchanged for the experience of bi-sexual play. Would this matter?

[czanclus]

I, however, do not believe in the concept of "the one". I think there are potentially many "ones" out there for everybody. Ultimately, I would like to find someone to be with for the rest of my life.

 

Thank you Weezy1973 for contributing to this thread. In the dating process then, is it correct to assume that you would be scouting the pool for 'the one' (if you allow for the time being) with whom your quirks and secrets would be best received and understood? If no, please correct the assumption to what it should be. If yes, please explain the traits, physical image (if relevant) and behavior in a woman that delivers the best promise to keep your secrets and quirks in a good place? Also, if you don't mind sharing, do you feel that you can successfully identify the qualities that you seek in a woman that you seek, or have you in your past experience of choosing a partner made mistakes you regretted?

 

As for "the one", in my parlance too, it wasn't assumed to be a single person existing on the planet at roughly the same time span that you exist in, but the one that ultimately gets the role of being your lifetime partner. I myself do not believe the count of ideal partners entails 'one' as a bound in either direction. It is conceivable that there are no people presently alive that satisfy the ideal, nor that there is any less than five million of them.

Edited February 2, 2014 by czanclus

[czanclus]

Elswyth,

 

My daughter is seven. She is currently not dating to the best of - in my esteem - pretty thorough knowledge of my daughter. I should like to have some sort of testament given by anonymous participants about what they wish for, and how do they deal with settlements that the constraints of the real world impose. Hopefully this discussion develops to cover the latter topic, but for now, I'm happy to receive dream notes from guys who are kind to spare a few lines in answering my questions.

[Grumpybutfun]

This thread seems more like , what is the ideal state of men's sex life, not love life? Which one do you mean because sex and fantasy has less than nothing to do with love to men, especially young men which is what your daughters will have to interact with.

G

[czanclus]

Elswyth,

 

I do not plan to show this to my seven year old daughter and her similar aged peers at the time when they are seven years old. I just happen to have some time myself these days when my daughter happens to be seven to devote to this matter.

Edited February 2, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[czanclus]

This thread seems more like , what is the ideal state of men's sex life, not love life? Which one do you mean because sex and fantasy has less than nothing to do with love to men, especially young men which is what your daughters will have to interact with.

G

 

I intentionally did not specify the scope of 'ideal love life' because I wanted the participants themselves to communicate what that is according to them. If sex and love are but vaguely related to some, I would like that stated in more or less a direct way.

 

My daughter will hopefully live a long enough life to interact with more than just young men.

[Robert]

Since the thread starter has made it clear that this thread isn't going to be shown to her daughter while she is a young and she is doing this for knowledge in the future then let this thread proceed from there and let's extinguish the threadjacks about the age of her daughter and parenting to that idea right now.

 

I would also caution you to remember that this thread is not in the sexual forum and in a relationship forum so let's keep the posts rated as such.

 

Continue on,

 

Thanks

[somedude81]

Of course, and a respectable one by all accounts. Thank you for clarifying on the optimal age difference as a factor in maintaining your partnership interest.

 

Suspending reality further if need be, while three women are 'enough to cover everything', are three women necessary to cover everything? If a woman-creature born out of some fantasy could do everything that the three women described in your fantasy together can do except emerge in more than one state per time interval (of say 1 hour), would she alone be enough to cover everything? By 'do everything' I mean assume Asian, blonde Caucasian and Hispanic form with all the hobbies and skills you'd wish the three of them to have collectively.

 

You mentioned the three of them being bi-sexual - thus you'd obviously be shortchanged for the experience of bi-sexual play. Would this matter?

While the concept of having three girlfriends living with me is fantasy, the women themselves are grounded in reality, aside from the fact that they'd be happy sharing me. That's why I mentioned that each woman would have a normal sex drive. It's a way to prevent requiring one woman to always be available to meet my needs. So it's three normal women instead of having one super woman.

 

Collectively all their interests and hobbies would cover all of mine plus more so they can show me new things. An example is one woman likes to surf, one does martial arts, and the third one enjoys salsa and ballroom dancing. One woman likes video games and anime, while another likes romantic comedies and so on.

 

I belief that method is more realistic that having one woman match all my hobbies, interests and sex drive ie, the perfect woman.

 

Having three woman is the perfect number to make sure that nobody gets left out during play time.

[carhill]

Heterosexual men,

 

Please use this thread to describe what it is that you would consider to be the ideal state of your love life, and in that context to explain what dating means to you as well as what do you look for when you are 'looking to meet someone?'

 

Dating is getting to know strangers who ostensibly could become intimates and the process determines compatibility in that regard. I'm looking to meet someone who is verifiably unattached and the rest takes care of itself, as any 'getting to know' process does. Some work out; some don't.

 

Would you ideally have a harem of women? Would there be classes and hierarchy within this harem?

No interests in harems and women are all equals to me.

 

Absent the harem, would you 'settle' for serial monogamy? Would there nonetheless be the 'sine qua non' women that you would always want in some (and to what extent, decrivez s'il vous plait) way?

 

No interest in serial women (and my relationship and marital history reflects that) and the 'essential' woman would be the woman for a lifetime.

 

When I was a young person, those are the examples which were set for me. A couple married for life who showed their love consistently and quietly and correctly prioritized their union over other concerns. IMO, a great example to share with a child. The world, however, turned out to be a quite different place. Good luck.

[mario_C]

Yeah, we men all think we would love a harem life, but the reality is "WTF are all these people doing in my house? Damn it, get out of here! Get a job! I need a minute to read!"