daretotrustlove Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 I was involved in a LTR. 5 years. We were together 3 1/2 yrs. he broke it off. Devasted my heart and down to my being. Stayed NC for a year so to speak of. He comes back into my life, eyes wide open. Leads me on, knowing full well, what my expectations are. I never lied to him, was always totally up front with my feelings. He spoke of the love he had for me, how miserable his life was without me. Decides he's going to leave his W after 7 mnths of being back together. I go through my house, closet, dressers, all of the things a person would do to accomidate someone coming into your home. Goes home to tell her while I wait for him, and then he calls and says he is staying in the M. Then proceeds to tell me, he will love me forever. Will think of me every night. That he doesn't know what the future holds, can't make any promises, IF he comes back he will be free. We had a wonderful R, yes, we had ups and downs. I truly believed he loved me. Truly believed he wouldn't hurt me again. He made so many promises. I mean things were real. We made plans. This is the second time he has done this to me. I know, stupid me, but when you love someone, you want, need to believe. How does a man do this to someone they say they love. How do you hurt someone to their core, make all these promises and then just walk away. I'm so totally devasted. As stupid as I am, I still love him deeply. I just can't seem to understand how this happens. I know that "IF" he did come back, it would need to be with his bags packed and papers in hand. We have been no contact for 4 weeks today. Just so lost and hurt. I feel that I gave everything I had and it meant nothing to him.........Would greatly appreciate any information if you have been through this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author daretotrustlove Posted February 2, 2014 Author Share Posted February 2, 2014 I guess I was rambling, and not thinking of all the details. He has been married close to 30 yrs. Kids are grown and doing their own lives. Both parents passed away at a young age. I actually believe he is co-dependant or a split self or both. I understand that he still loves his family and loves his W, for the years that they have had. I still care for my XH. Its just not something that you can turn off. He is so not in to hurting anyone, even at his own expense. But I guess that doesn't mean me. I understand that its hard. He is not a mean person, he hasn't spoken ill of his W, although I know her personally, but not as a friend. She is very controlling, demanding. He admitted that they have had issue's long before "us" of her not being into him, physically or emotionally. He is a lovy, dovy person, she is not. We went to a couples counselor to help us communicate better. He admitted to the counselor that his M, was cold and dead. He admitted that when we got back together that he knew exactly what he was doing. He wanted to be together. He had said, after we broke up, to a friend of mine, that the W and I needed to deal with our own emotions. I know he suffers from depression and stress. This is just killing me inside. We are both miserable without each other. Just so lost. Link to post Share on other sites
kalimata Posted February 3, 2014 Share Posted February 3, 2014 You are better off without this guy. He will never leave his wife. It will take some time, but go and find someone else and heal your wounds Link to post Share on other sites
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