Is the slut-shaming as bad as the male virgin shaming?

[ThaWholigan]

Pornstars do get married, but how many of those pornstars are slut-shamed by every other guy, and I also wonder how many comments are passed on the guy - "He must be some kind of cuckold", "What a simp, his girl is a hoe" etc...I can imagine the same happens on some level with women who aren't pornstars too.

 

I understand what Joystick is attempting to say here - it is that no matter what you do, someone is going to judge you for it. And from that point, you can either accept it and do what you have to do, or you can let it depress you, or you can choose to fight against it. I accept that not everybody wants to date me for a number of reasons, and I don't really try to fight it, I just do what I have to do. But some people cannot always just accept it, particularly if people will continually bring up your past in order to throw it in your face and stop you in life. And it doesn't necessarily have to be just because some guy rejected a promiscuous woman because she slept with too many people - it can be people in his ear influencing him, it can be people insulting her either to her face or others. It's not the isolated incident, it's the follow through and the aftermath that's more troubling.

[joystickd]

I'm sorry, you have obviously misinterpreted everything I've said. I'm not going to keep saying the same thing over and over.

Take a minute and think about this honestly from the man's point of view.

 

And since I have misinterpreted what you have said them fully explain your beliefs. All you have done is react to what I and other men have said. Really think about this from the men's point of view. Men on here have to hear think about it from our view from women so return the favor.

[GoreSP]

I'm not sure why you want me to see it from a man's point of view. Both genders date, both genders fall in love, both genders get hurt.

 

I dated a bartender once and he played me. I wouldn't date this bartender again but I would date another bartender again.

Just like I don't cry that all men are players and the next guy I date will not see the consequences of this (as in I won't assume he will play me too)

 

I think I have explained myself more than enough already. You need to read posts more carefully.

[joystickd]

Pornstars do get married, but how many of those pornstars are slut-shamed by every other guy, and I also wonder how many comments are passed on the guy - "He must be some kind of cuckold", "What a simp, his girl is a hoe" etc...I can imagine the same happens on some level with women who aren't pornstars too.

 

Funny thing is pornstars are more open about their sex lives. Women who aren't often are more secretive about their sex lives. People judge. The former drug dealer or murderer that has turned his life around doesn't want to be seen as what they were but who they are now. The thing is who you are now was formed by who you were then. If a person wants to connect with you on a deep personal, intimate level then they have the right to know that so they can decide whether or not they are compatible. Would these same women take a surgical procedure without knowing everything about it? It is a life changing event just like finding someone to be in a relationship with. Everyone values different things. Like I said I lost my virginity to the "Wal-Mart whore". She was a very promiscuous woman that wasn't faithful. All might not be like that but to men that knew of her it is now a reality engrained in their minds.

 

 

Lots of people are judgemental. It's life. A few people's opinion overall doesn't matter

[GoreSP]

Funny thing is pornstars are more open about their sex lives. Women who aren't often are more secretive about their sex lives. People judge. The former drug dealer or murderer that has turned his life around doesn't want to be seen as what they were but who they are now. The thing is who you are now was formed by who you were then. If a person wants to connect with you on a deep personal, intimate level then they have the right to know that so they can decide whether or not they are compatible. Would these same women take a surgical procedure without knowing everything about it? It is a life changing event just like finding someone to be in a relationship with. Everyone values different things. Like I said I lost my virginity to the "Wal-Mart whore". She was a very promiscuous woman that wasn't faithful. All might not be like that but to men that knew of her it is now a reality engrained in their minds.

 

 

Lots of people are judgemental. It's life. A few people's opinion overall doesn't matter

 

Selling drugs and murder are crimes.

 

Promiscuity isn't. Promiscuity doesn't physically hurt anyone.

[joystickd]

I'm not sure why you want me to see it from a man's point of view. Both genders date, both genders fall in love, both genders get hurt.

 

I dated a bartender once and he played me. I wouldn't date this bartender again but I would date another bartender again.

Just like I don't cry that all men are players and the next guy I date will not see the consequences of this (as in I won't assume he will play me too)

 

I think I have explained myself more than enough already. You need to read posts more carefully.

Just like you need to calm the hell down and read more carefully.

 

No man in his right mind going to let his guard down because you deem it's not right. You are f**in crazy to even believe that. Do you have your guard totally down when you date men?

[GoreSP]

Just like you need to calm the hell down and read more carefully.

 

No man in his right mind going to let his guard down because you deem it's not right. You are f**in crazy to even believe that. Do you have your guard totally down when you date men?

 

For the 13th and last time - If a man wants to have certain standards about his partner, I am perfectly fine with it. It has nothing to do about having your guards down.

 

You need to not insult me.

[ThaWholigan]

Funny thing is pornstars are more open about their sex lives. Women who aren't often are more secretive about their sex lives. People judge. The former drug dealer or murderer that has turned his life around doesn't want to be seen as what they were but who they are now. The thing is who you are now was formed by who you were then. If a person wants to connect with you on a deep personal, intimate level then they have the right to know that so they can decide whether or not they are compatible. Would these same women take a surgical procedure without knowing everything about it? It is a life changing event just like finding someone to be in a relationship with. Everyone values different things. Like I said I lost my virginity to the "Wal-Mart whore". She was a very promiscuous woman that wasn't faithful. All might not be like that but to men that knew of her it is now a reality engrained in their minds.

 

 

Lots of people are judgemental. It's life. A few people's opinion overall doesn't matter

Pornstars don't exactly have a choice . I'm sure women would be less secretive if they didn't have to put up with as much sh*t as they do even when the "possibility" or "rumor" of promiscuity exists.

 

I do understand what you're saying, and as I've said, it goes beyond a few people's opinions here. It's up to the individual to persevere regardless, but that doesn't mean they have to suck it up and be browbeaten!

[joystickd]

Selling drugs and murder are crimes.

 

Promiscuity isn't. Promiscuity doesn't physically hurt anyone.

The thing is you want someone to not see a promiscuous woman as not that but a woman that can be in a healthy relationship. In principle that is exactly the same thing former criminals want but it's to be seen a productive member of society. See you were judgmental right there. Would it be right if a former criminal were on here and you just shamed them by this statement? You don't want to be "shamed" because of your actions but will do that in regards to other actions. Hypocrisy.

 

It might not physically hurt anyone but potentially the mental anguish of and unfaithful partner is just about as bad as physical hurt. Also depending on the situation an beating from a guy that got cheated on but the guy she is cheating will can physically hurt too. If you as a person don't want to be seen as that then don't be that person. You can't change people's beliefs all you can focus on is finding that one person that matter that doesn't care about your past or what you have done recently.

[joystickd]

Pornstars don't exactly have a choice . I'm sure women would be less secretive if they didn't have to put up with as much sh*t as they do even when the "possibility" or "rumor" of promiscuity exists.

 

I do understand what you're saying, and as I've said, it goes beyond a few people's opinions here. It's up to the individual to persevere regardless, but that doesn't mean they have to suck it up and be browbeaten!

Yeah that is true they don't have a choice. but the thing is honesty does a long ways. People are more accepting of an honest admission of promiscuity than some secretive. Like the two women I knew in my long post. The first was honest and I had feelings for her. I would have never got to that point had she not been honest. The second woman she hid her past. I live in a small town so it's hard not to hide a past. Men ended things with her because she was dishonest.

 

A majority of problems with men/women interactions in dating/relationships is honesty with one isn't honest with the other or even one isn't honest with themselves. I meet women they know my past everything. I expect the same in return. As a person you can't make a complete assessment of whether a person can be a life partner without having the complete picture. This is why pornstars get married because they are able to give the complete picture. Then it's like well that is out of the way let's focus on other things.

 

I understand the fact that women don't want to get called slut, whore, or the new term I've heard Thot, but in the aspect of looking for a partner your past matters. In public though if people know about you people are going to say something. Try being black in small town America and being too different than anyone of any race you know. I'd rather be called a whore than experiencing that again, but I made it through that. If a woman is called a whore by someone on the street it may bother them but it the bigger context that person pays no bills, puts no food on your table, or no clothes on your back so they don't matter. Hell I get called a Ni**er now by old people on my job. I brush it off and keep going. It's no use to have to constantly battle ignorant people in public. Life is too short for that.

[janedoe67]

You can't change people's beliefs all you can focus on is finding that one person that matter that doesn't care about your past or what you have done recently.

 

This is true.

[joystickd]

For the 13th and last time - If a man wants to have certain standards about his partner, I am perfectly fine with it. It has nothing to do about having your guards down.

 

You need to not insult me.

I didn't insult you. Trust me I am being very nice and civil to you. Save the dramatic stuff for someone else

[GoreSP]

I didn't insult you. Trust me I am being very nice and civil to you. Save the dramatic stuff for someone else

 

Last time I checked, calling someone ****ing crazy was not civil or nice.

[joystickd]

Last time I checked, calling someone ****ing crazy was not civil or nice.

Like I said save it for someone else