somedude81 Posted February 4, 2014 Share Posted February 4, 2014 There is a girl I'm interested in my dance class but she's taking the class with a female friend and they are always together. I want to talk to her more, before and after class, and eventually ask her out, get her number, stuff like that. I just don't know how to do it when she has an escort with her. Link to post Share on other sites
Barbarossa Posted February 4, 2014 Share Posted February 4, 2014 I'm currently in the same situation just become friends with both of them and get both their numbers if need be. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author somedude81 Posted February 4, 2014 Author Share Posted February 4, 2014 I'm currently in the same situation just become friends with both of them and get both their numbers if need be. Interesting. Yeah it does seem like I can be friends with both of them, and her friend actually seems to be easier to talk to. But I'm just not as attracted to her. If I were to get both of their numbers, what would the context be? Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted February 4, 2014 Share Posted February 4, 2014 going bowling, out to a move, for a drink at a bar, to a concert.... a walk together in the countryside....? Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted February 4, 2014 Share Posted February 4, 2014 I dont think you should ask them both for their numbers.....I think that sends the wrong message to the one you're interested in. However, you can certainly invite them both out after class for coffee/ice cream/fro yo/bowling/pool......etc. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author somedude81 Posted February 4, 2014 Author Share Posted February 4, 2014 going bowling, out to a move, for a drink at a bar, to a concert.... a walk together in the countryside....? Those sounds like date ideas. My question is how do I ask her out when she's always with a friend. Once I get her number, I know what to do from there. Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted February 4, 2014 Share Posted February 4, 2014 Those sounds like date ideas. My question is how do I ask her out when she's always with a friend. Once I get her number, I know what to do from there. Ask them both to join you after class and buy them each an ice cream. Its cute when you buy the friend something. When you have them out, THEN ask the one you like for her number. Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted February 4, 2014 Share Posted February 4, 2014 Why is it important that she be alone when you ask her? Just ask her for her number when you get an opening to do so, regardless of whether or not her friend is with her. Men do this all the time. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author somedude81 Posted February 4, 2014 Author Share Posted February 4, 2014 Why is it important that she be alone when you ask her? Just ask her for her number when you get an opening to do so, regardless of whether or not her friend is with her. Men do this all the time. Really? Is that OK? Link to post Share on other sites
Imajerk17 Posted February 4, 2014 Share Posted February 4, 2014 Why is it important that she be alone when you ask her? Just ask her for her number when you get an opening to do so, regardless of whether or not her friend is with her. Men do this all the time. I agree with clia on this SD. Be friendly to both of them, but give more attention to the one you are into so that both girls know what's up. Depending on how the interaction goes, you can hang out with one or both girls after class, or you try again the next class. It's all good. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mukkrakker Posted February 4, 2014 Share Posted February 4, 2014 Ask them both to join you after class Absolutely! Maybe they do everything together - you could double your fun dude! Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted February 4, 2014 Share Posted February 4, 2014 OP, people's lives are always in flux so resolve to, when the young lady presents herself alone, to ask her out directly. In the meantime, no harm in polite socializing. Additionally, if you're in a dance class together, hello, ask her to work a number with you and deal then. You do dance with women in this dance class, right? Link to post Share on other sites
Author somedude81 Posted February 4, 2014 Author Share Posted February 4, 2014 I agree with clia on this SD. Be friendly to both of them, but give more attention to the one you are into so that both girls know what's up. Depending on how the interaction goes, you can hang out with one or both girls after class, or you try again the next class. It's all good. Yeah I can do that. I wouldn't mind spending time with both after class. The class ends at 12, so unless they have a class right after, they'd probably have lunch or go home. There's only one way to find out. OP, people's lives are always in flux so resolve to, when the young lady presents herself alone, to ask her out directly. In the meantime, no harm in polite socializing. Additionally, if you're in a dance class together, hello, ask her to work a number with you and deal then. You do dance with women in this dance class, right? Only for about a minute then we rotate. Sometimes more, sometimes less. It's barely enough time to have a conversation. The best time to talk to somebody is before or after class. That's when she's sitting with her friend. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted February 4, 2014 Share Posted February 4, 2014 For some insight into the sixty second possibilities, , someone you likely know better from Star Trek or Fantasy Island, in his prime, and a Latino to boot. Sixty seconds is an eternity to impel a young lady to *want* to talk to you alone after class. Up to you. I remember all the short dancing opportunities I passed up at social events because, well, I was clueless about how to 'speak' to a woman through dancing with her. You'll do much better. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Syreeni Posted February 4, 2014 Share Posted February 4, 2014 First, don't ask for both numbers, it does send the wrong message. She will start putting you in the friend zone. She may even get the impression you like her friend, if she isn't good at reading male mating behavior. If asking her for her number or out on a date while the friend is standing there as part of the conversation is intimidating, then.... ask to speak to her alone for a moment, when she agrees, say "excuse us", acknowledging the friend and lead the lady away a short distance from her friend. This will give you the one-on-one interaction and privacy to speak with her while she can feel the support/assurance that her friend is close by. Its polite in regard to her and her friend and she will not feel uncomfortable if she isn't to far away from her friend as well as she will appreciate the small amount of privacy between you and her. Will the lady know what you're doing? Yep, they both will Will they talk about it after? Yep, they both will Will they be clear which girl you ate interested in? Yep. Will you appear to have manners and confidence? Yep. Now its up to chemistry to do it's thing... 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Syreeni Posted February 4, 2014 Share Posted February 4, 2014 And yes, men do ask a lady out right in front of her friends. Its the more advanced version of what I posted above. While it shows confidence, many ladies and the askers feel more comfortable with the semi- private version above. Not all ladies like to be asked out with an audience. They may react differently because their friend is standing right next to them because your friend will tease you about flirting or being flitted with or any other reason us ladies need to nit-pick everything apart. With the above version, she gets to choose which parts of the interaction she shares, making the entire exchange more personal to her. But if your only option is to ask with an audience, then do that. Way better than getting all the girls numbers... Refrain from that. Seriously. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Targetlock Posted February 4, 2014 Share Posted February 4, 2014 good advice Syreeni may have to remember this if i end up in this situation. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author somedude81 Posted February 5, 2014 Author Share Posted February 5, 2014 First, don't ask for both numbers, it does send the wrong message. She will start putting you in the friend zone. She may even get the impression you like her friend, if she isn't good at reading male mating behavior. If asking her for her number or out on a date while the friend is standing there as part of the conversation is intimidating, then.... ask to speak to her alone for a moment, when she agrees, say "excuse us", acknowledging the friend and lead the lady away a short distance from her friend. This will give you the one-on-one interaction and privacy to speak with her while she can feel the support/assurance that her friend is close by. Its polite in regard to her and her friend and she will not feel uncomfortable if she isn't to far away from her friend as well as she will appreciate the small amount of privacy between you and her. Will the lady know what you're doing? Yep, they both will Will they talk about it after? Yep, they both will Will they be clear which girl you are interested in? Yep. Will you appear to have manners and confidence? Yep. Now its up to chemistry to do it's thing... And yes, men do ask a lady out right in front of her friends. Its the more advanced version of what I posted above. While it shows confidence, many ladies and the askers feel more comfortable with the semi- private version above. Not all ladies like to be asked out with an audience. They may react differently because their friend is standing right next to them because your friend will tease you about flirting or being flitted with or any other reason us ladies need to nit-pick everything apart. With the above version, she gets to choose which parts of the interaction she shares, making the entire exchange more personal to her. But if your only option is to ask with an audience, then do that. Way better than getting all the girls numbers... Refrain from that. Seriously. Thanks Syreeni. So when I feel the time is right, I can ask to speak to her alone. Yeah I had a feeling both will know what's going and and will talk about it afterward. Thanks again Link to post Share on other sites
Syreeni Posted February 5, 2014 Share Posted February 5, 2014 Yes, I'm going to go through the senerio again, since I forgot to mention the ending part. But who cares, its a great dating life skill. Worth a second go- through. After your class ends, go up to the girls and strike up a conversation. When the time feels right, ask to speak to her alone for a moment. Aknowlege the friend that is left waiting by saying " excuse us," to her then lead the lady away to a comfortable distance. Close enough she can still see her friend, far enough away that the friend can't overhear every word. This makes both girls feel safe. (important for just meeting someone and/or at a bar/club environment) Ask her for her number or a date. Small chit chat, don't talk too long, remember her friend is waiting and that would be rude. Walk her back to her friend. Thank the friend for waiting. Then play it by ear, either say goodbye or engage in group conversation. Confident, gentlemanly behavior...it's a classic for a reason. This technique is common and good way for males, no matter their age, to engage a lady for a private conversation if she is with a friend or group. Remember it, you'll be using it a few times in your life. We like to travel in a group or with a friend no matter our age. And yes, you cant avoid them talking about it after, but that's the point. When they do, you want the friend to also feel you were displaying gentlemanly behavior. That works in your favor. I hope that was a bit more clear. You're wecome and good luck! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Omei Posted February 5, 2014 Share Posted February 5, 2014 I see nothing wrong with a big smile walking right up to her in front of her friend and saying something like "I would love to take you out sometime" It shows confidence her friend will find it impressive and if you spoke to her alone shes gonna gush it to her friend anyway since they are besties. Link to post Share on other sites
Author somedude81 Posted February 5, 2014 Author Share Posted February 5, 2014 Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.............. I completely lucked out and got to walk with her for about 5 minutes after class. BUT She barely even looked at me at all when we were walking and talking I'm starting to get the feeling that she knows I'm interested and it almost seems that she's tying to pass me off to other girls, basically girls that aren't her. This is a real bummer as the other girls I'm interested in seem to have already paired off with other guys. At this point I think I should just try to pursue anybody who seems nice. Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted February 5, 2014 Share Posted February 5, 2014 Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.............. I completely lucked out and got to walk with her for about 5 minutes after class. BUT She barely even looked at me at all when we were walking and talking I'm starting to get the feeling that she knows I'm interested and it almost seems that she's tying to pass me off to other girls, basically girls that aren't her. This is a real bummer as the other girls I'm interested in seem to have already paired off with other guys. At this point I think I should just try to pursue anybody who seems nice. Yep. You may not get Ginger, but I'll bet Mary Ann is REALLY nice! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
notyouraveragebabe Posted February 11, 2014 Share Posted February 11, 2014 Don't ask for both their numbers! That's a huge NO NO! That will put you in 1) friend-zone 2) break the girl code if they both like you 3) You will look like a douche! Just go up to them and acknowledge them both. If the friend doesn't like you then you're screwed. Say hi, introduce yourself to both then mention something to the girl you like. That will draw more attention towards her and she will get it. If you see her all the time just introduce yourself then the next time you see her the ice is already broken. Next time, try asking her out. You will never know until you try. Even if she's not interested she will be flattered. BTW, what kind of dance class is this? Careful, she might think you're gay. Just saying. If a guy was in my dance class that is what I would be thinking. Link to post Share on other sites
notyouraveragebabe Posted February 11, 2014 Share Posted February 11, 2014 Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.............. I completely lucked out and got to walk with her for about 5 minutes after class. BUT She barely even looked at me at all when we were walking and talking I'm starting to get the feeling that she knows I'm interested and it almost seems that she's tying to pass me off to other girls, basically girls that aren't her. This is a real bummer as the other girls I'm interested in seem to have already paired off with other guys. At this point I think I should just try to pursue anybody who seems nice. ohhh bummer at least you tried and you know. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 11, 2014 Share Posted February 11, 2014 WTF, guys? What difference does it make she's not alone? Go talk to her. If you get a girlfriend, they're not going to give up their friends to be alone with you. Not sure why that would bother you. She's going to tell her friend everything she does anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
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