Am I Being Controlling?

[May74]

This post may seem very petty but I guess I'm just looking for some honest, objective comments from others. DH and I disagreed earlier when I went for a cuddle to find he'd shaved his chest hair. It sounds ridiculous, I know! I like body hair on a man and find men who preen themselves excessively generally unattractive. DH knows this but has told me I'm being controlling. I hate this thought and do not want to be that kind of person! I kind of get what he is saying but equally feel that it would be nice if he took my opinion into consideration sometimes. I'm a strong personality but like to seek out DH opinion and know that if a certain hairstyle/colour was unattractive to him I would avoid it as I like to be attractive to him. This is a very small thing amidst a LOT of problems that are outside of our control and have made the past year or so hard for us. I feel shallow admitting that certain changes in DH, like a bald chest (!), mean that I'm not as attracted to him and I guess I feel hurt that he's disinterested in whether I find him attractive or not. Would anyone feel similar? Am I being controlling? Thoughts would be appreciated.

[Tayken]

I hate this thought and do not want to be that kind of person! I kind of get what he is saying but equally feel that it would be nice if he took my opinion into consideration sometimes.

 

I can't help but think to myself...she is either naive, or she is just trying to pull our collective legs here.

 

Are you being "controlling"...You damn well are luv!

 

So you want your husband to do what you want really, and at the same time you claim to know where he is coming from....really you do? funny way of showing it then by getting your knickers in a twist over shaven chest

 

What have you done for him lately that he wants/ asks of you...and would you bow to his request if any?

 

You wonder why you are having issues? Check your "strong personality / feeling of entitlement" and you might see where the problem lies.....well of course denial is a b1tch to some people that feel entitlement to everything, that to their upbringing

 

What next...he shaves down under and you leave him?

[imatradie81]

I don't think it's being really controlling if you say to him the way you "prefer" him to look or you think you find him more attractive looking a certain way, I think if you make a big deal out of it after he still does things different to what you prefer then that's controlling.

 

My girlfriend loves it when I have a 3 day growth and she says she finds it super attractive, so I naturally do it to please her (I personally find having a bit of a beard irritating) but I still shave frequently and she doesn't care whatsoever when I do.

 

I like to do things that makes my girlfriend more attracted to me and she is the same but there's no animosity whatsoever if we chose to do things how we prefer.

[bubbaganoosh]

I knew a lady whose husband was getting thin hair on his head. She still liked what hair he had and one day he shaved his head and she came home and saw it.

 

She said she had a hard time getting used to it but still likes the hair on his head. He always kept his hair cut short and they settled on an agreement.

 

He kept his head shaved in the spring and summer and let it grow back in during fall and winter. He's happy and she's happy, well for at least six months.

[Emilia]

The guy I was seeing until recently had a beard that looked pretty good. He has great, thick hair and he kept his beard beautifully. I found it really attractive.

 

Then I saw him last Friday with a stupid moustache that he started waxing so that the ends turn upwards. It looked retarded and way too traditional, didn't suit his face either. Don't care whether it's controlling or not, it looked ugly. No thanks.

[d0nnivain]

I like a hairy chest too. I want my man to feel like a man, not a preteen boy, or worse, a girl.

 

 

DH prefers a shaved chest.

 

 

It's his body but I make an effort to praise the hairy chest. I run my fingers through it & basically pet him in a sensual manner. As a result of the positive feedback, he stopped shaving daily. Now he reserves it for the hottest parts of summer & days when we will be at the beach.

 

 

Try my method & let him make the decision in his own time but don't b1tch too much when he's shaved.

[Got it]

I agree, I think it is a fine line. My husband likes me when I have a few extra pounds on and curvy. I like when I am thin/underweight. I am not a fan of the curves but he is. So he tells me and compliments me more when I do but he doesn't push it.

 

Tell him what you like and then leave it. It's his body and I get very annoyed when someone is telling me what to do with my body.

[pteromom]

It's his chest; he can do with it what he wants.

 

Of course, you can inspire him to keep the chest hair. Tell him how much you enjoy running your fingers through his chest hair before sliding them down to... well, you know. Be creative.