Mental and emotional abuse !

[Adventure11]

My husband is extremly controlling and munipulating- he has emotionally abused me and mentally abused me since marriage (2.5 years) I did not see it then and now I struggle to see it - we are getting seperated now- I am searching for help for my new self esteem issues - I have currently started going to therapy however I know I will not be able to finish the sessions due to finances -

Any self esteem pick me ups you have learned you care to share ?

[Betternotbroken]

First of all, good for you for going to therapy. As for the cost, do you have insurance? I was shocked to see how many support groups and even life coaches can bill insurance. I hope it works out that you can continue to go.

 

As for self-esteem, that is a day by day road to a Rome that was not built in one day. Take it slow, start by being easy and doing something for yourself however, small every day. I started that and it was almost impossible. Today, I did three, count 'em three things for myself.

 

Congratulations on seeing abuse for what it is and not just the "worse" part of for better or worse.

[M30USA]

Please give specific examples of his abuse.

[TaraMaiden]

Please give specific examples of his abuse.

 

Actually, OP, you don't have to do this.

We're not your therapists, but there are many people on this forum who believe that simply because they've experienced a similar issue, are either fully qualified to respond to you, or may feel that they can 'go one better'.

 

You KNOW what you went through.

 

But first and foremost, know that nobody deserves mistreatment.

Secondly, nobody is obliged to put up with it.

and thirdly, abuse says more about your abuser than it does about you.

 

One of the most important things that may well advance your own personal progress, is to review your attitude to your abuser.

 

How do you view him currently?

 

Is your H undergoing therapy/treatment for his abusive temperament/character/behaviour?

[Ronni_W]

Knowing, deep in your gut, what you are worthy and deserving of will help you have high self-esteem.

Write it all down in as much detail as you can, journal about it frequently. Your deepest, best desires, dreams, aspirations. You are worthy and deserving of fulfillment of all those things. Keep at it until you KNOW that without question, doubt, reservation.

 

Knowing also what you will NOT tolerate, endure, put up with is also helpful...but, for me, focusing on the positives just feels better, brings a brighter mood.

 

For low-cost or sometimes no-cost therapy, you can contact psychology, psychotherapy department of local colleges, universities, teaching schools. Graduating students must fulfill practicum requirements. They are well-supervised so it's a good alternative for those who otherwise don't have access to or can't afford sessions.

 

Best of luck.