maidai Posted February 5, 2014 Share Posted February 5, 2014 I just wanted to say to anyone where I was 6 months ago.... Hang in there! 2 failed attempts at contact one via his work (I did not rise) 2nd via email I did not read it, deleted it and went straight to spam and deleted it and it stopped straight away. If you do not show so much as a whiff of submission they get the message! Just one response and it starts the cycle all over again along with the pain and confusion something I was not willing to do to myself. I am happily single, enjoy a fabulous social life, crossfit 3 times a week and look and FEEL fabulous both mentally and physically. I feel indifferent. Totally! If he was on fire in the street I would keep walking, no desire to pee on him to put him out and *save him* anymore and no desire to tip petrol on and watch him go up in flames quicker. NOTHING! Total indifference! Even with one glimpse of contact me in a car with an ex and him passing in traffic and the look of horror, mortification, embarrasement, upset, jealousy all passing over his face in a split second I just smiled and still felt nothing. No contact is the only way to go. Its like a scab, you keep picking and the wound takes longer to heal! I have learnt alot about myself this last 6 months and mainly that you can feel much more lonely in a relationship than you do single so please, please cut contact and hang in there x Anyone can read my back threads and see the mess the situation was in. I wish you all going through it now much luck, love and ultimately peace. 11 Link to post Share on other sites
AlwaysGrowing Posted February 5, 2014 Share Posted February 5, 2014 An excellent example of how/why full NC is the healthiest choice in the aftermath. Redirecting our energy towards ourselves, heals the only person we have control over. Well done!!! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
wasntlooking Posted February 6, 2014 Share Posted February 6, 2014 You go girl.....hoping to be there soon Link to post Share on other sites
Author maidai Posted February 6, 2014 Author Share Posted February 6, 2014 Thank you both xx People say I am too pig headed and stubborn for my own good in day to day life in general at times. NO! I prefer to think of it as being not willing to compromise myself, my moral standards and my worth. When I am done I am done. When something has to end it has to end. When someone makes a choice and I suddenly become second best there is no way I am accepting second best. If I am pig headed and stubborn I say okay then pig headed and stubborn is not a bad thing to be especially not in affairs of the heart such as this. There was no way back for me ever and no way I was going to continue damaging myself with half hearted contact and upset x I healed! I healed quickly and well, nobody else other than me is capable of saving me and that is what I had to concentrate on. It has left its scars in terms of me not wanting another relationship or maybe that is just because I am happy with me and my life as it currently is. It has also taught and armed me well should I become willing to become involved again and the first hint that their marriage/relationship when they say it is done is not done the red flags would fly for me and quickly. Something I stupidly should have taken notice of this time around 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ladydesigner Posted February 6, 2014 Share Posted February 6, 2014 You sound very healthy and happy! Nice post and nice work! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
WakingUp Posted February 7, 2014 Share Posted February 7, 2014 Maidai, thank you for posting. I find your words empowering. So glad you came back with a positive update. A big (((hug)))! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts