How many wait till marriage nowadays (gf wants it that way)?

[somedude81]

From my own experience, when women are really enjoying a sexual experience their hearing is pretty terrible unless their partner is very close to their ear. If he's going down on her as you suggest, and as she is about to orgasm (hello lack of awareness of surroundings) there's a good chance she won't say no because she won't hear him.

 

Also, even if she hears him and deliberately doesn't stop him, there's a good chance she'll regret it once the moment passes it. She has been pretty clear about wants and may resent OP for ambushing her when she isn't thinking clearly.

 

Putting aside the notion that she won't hear him or notice him getting on top of her, I really doubt that she'd resent the OP. Hell, he could even stop pleasuring her, tell her he wants to have sex with her but he won't do anything until she tells him to.

 

If she regrets what happened, which I doubt, then all he has to do is reassure her that he loves her.

[winterpast]

I just feel that you could end up spending a long time with this girl and end up feeling that you missed out.

 

So look at it from HER perspective as well. She gives in and they have sex now because he doesn't want to "miss out". Then in a few years they break up and she feels like she gave her virginity away for nothing.

 

Point is, they have to learn to compromise with each other before and during marriage. If he is ok with waiting then there is no issue currently. If he isn't willing to wait then he will need to tell her and they will need to decide on whether or not to proceed with the relationship.

[Iguanna]

Some of my friends actually tell me they really pity me and how I'm going to miss out all my college years. I get that but if you love someone wouldn't you wait for them?

 

This question doesn't have an exact answer. If I were your sister I would say "Omg this is very romantic, my brother is such a good guy, he is waiting for the woman he loves, I wish I could find such a man myself". If I were your male friend I'd say "dude are you nuts? You will meet hundreds of hotties in college and you are gonna wait for the virgin you say you love? if you f%ck some sweet p.... you'll forget about her". If I were your mom I'd say "you do what you feel my son" (but inside me I'd be happy that I wouldn't have to worry about you). So everyone has some other opinion for the matter just cause it's not a universal rule for it.

 

Being me (obviously) I'd suggest that you live your college life with some girl who will also have sex with you. It's not normal to push yourself for something that is natural to happen due to a religion. I'm not even mentioning the fact of all this doing everything except penetration being really hypocrite....

[winterpast]

I just feel that you could end up spending a long time with this girl and end up feeling that you missed out.

 

IMO, if I were in your situation I would just have sex with her without talking about it first.

 

Meaning, all you really have to do is put a condom on while giving her oral. When you know that she's really into it and is close to orgasm, tell her that you are going to put your penis in her. If she doesn't tell you to stop, then stick it in.

 

Frankly, when you've already gotten to the point where you are fingering and giving each other oral, you're pretty much past the point where you talk about sex and making it special.

 

FYI, taking advantage of the situation like that to get what you want when you've been told numerous times that she wants to wait to have sex is betrayal of trust. This could cause anger and resentment and ultimately end the relationship.

[Phantom888]

Here's my advice as a 39 year old man, divorced, father of 2:

 

DO NOT WAIT TILL MARRIAGE. Sexual chemistry is so important. Even if you are compatible making out, the actual sex act is key to determining a lasting relationship. This really cannot be fixed if something is wrong. Do you really want to wait and risk finding out too late? It's very important to live with the person and have marital sex before you get married. Looking back I should have done that. Would have spared 12 years of pain and $500k in divorce settlement.

 

DO NOT MARRY THE FIRST GIRL YOU HAVE SEX WITH. Yes it's ideal to meet a girl, fall in love, get married and have sex. The odds of that working out is like winning the lottery. There is no way that a 19 year old person would be the same person 10 or 20 years later. People grow, and evolve. The person you are now will become more mature and will develop different interests over the next 10-20 years. You may be happy with the girl you are dating now, but you will always wonder what you are missing. Go and experience life, have lots of sex, then decide what kind of life you want. Marriage isn't for everyone.

 

I hope a part of you can see my point. If only someone would give me such advice when I was 23, I would be much better off today.

[somedude81]

So look at it from HER perspective as well. She gives in and they have sex now because he doesn't want to "miss out". Then in a few years they break up and she feels like she gave her virginity away for nothing.

 

Point is, they have to learn to compromise with each other before and during marriage. If he is ok with waiting then there is no issue currently. If he isn't willing to wait then he will need to tell her and they will need to decide on whether or not to proceed with the relationship.

Virginity isn't some precious gift that has to be treasured.

 

Any woman who has sex with a guy while in a relationship and after being together for a few years and then after they break up, regrets giving away her virginity, has serious issues.

FYI, taking advantage of the situation like that to get what you want when you've been told numerous times that she wants to wait to have sex is betrayal of trust. This could cause anger and resentment and ultimately end the relationship.

Frankly, if she wants to wait to have sex, they shouldn't be doing anything that has sex in it's name.

 

The first time my ex and I saw each other fully naked, was the day we first had sex.

[winterpast]

Virginity isn't some precious gift that has to be treasured.

 

 

Treasure is in the eye of the beholder. If it is a precious gift to her, then who is to tell it's not.

 

 

Some men treasure nice, fixed-up cars but I see that as a complete waste of money. Just because it's not important to me doesn't mean that it isn't important to them.

[winterpast]

 

Any woman who has sex with a guy while in a relationship and after being together for a few years and then after they break up, regrets giving away her virginity, has serious issues.

 

 

But according to you, a guy can spend a few years waiting for the girl to have sex with him to only break up and never have the chance, can regret his decision but not have any serious issues himself?

 

My example was to show that it goes both ways. It's not all about one person in a relationship.

[somedude81]

But according to you, a guy can spend a few years waiting for the girl to have sex with him to only break up and never have the chance, can regret his decision but not have any serious issues himself?

 

My example was to show that it goes both ways. It's not all about one person in a relationship.

Wanting to have sex with a girl, but waiting for years for something that never comes is very different than a girl having sex with a guy, being in a happy relationship for a few years and then regretting ever having had sex with him after the break up. There is so much more going on in the later scenario.

[veggirl]

19 yrs old, dating for 6 mos and already planning on marrying her in a couple years. Oh man to be young again. To answer your question, very few people wait til marriage. Also, very few people marry their first love and if they do, few of THEM stay married. (the people who marry at 22 are the ones divorced at 30 btw....)

[samsungxoxo]

19 yrs old, dating for 6 mos and already planning on marrying her in a couple years. Oh man to be young again. To answer your question, very few people wait til marriage. Also, very few people marry their first love and if they do, few of THEM stay married. (the people who marry at 22 are the ones divorced at 30 btw....)

Exactly....

 

If the OP is alright with waiting for her till their wedding night, then its ok but he is right now taking a risk that there is a 50% it might not work out and 4 things can happen:

 

1) He waiting for her but she suddenly breaks up within the next years or so while still being a virgin and he'll probably then feel he has waited for nothing.

 

2) She decides to give in (OP losing his virginity at the same time) to him but they break up and his gf might feel she lost it for nothing.

 

3) He waited, they get married and are happy with each other. In this case, the waiting was worth it.

 

4) He waited, they get married but are suddenly unhappy and later on file for divorce. This would mean all that waiting was for nothing after all.

 

If I were run into a virgin man and he's been waiting for a relaitonship, that I wouldn't mind and would teach in what I can (I like cowgirl and reverse cowgirl position too). But waiting till marriage I won't do. IMO sex in a relationship is an important factor and I would really feel neglected and incomplete without that. Plus, I'm an atheist so there is no point in waiting for marriage to have sex to me.

 

If it all works out then that's great but hope the OP considers that in every relationship, even in a sexless virginal one there are always risks. I don't regret having sex with my then bf (now ex bf) and I'm happy I didn't marry him. Our marriage probably wouldn't have lasted.

[Thegameoflife]

My honest opinion is that waiting is a stupid idea. I understand in the past women waited until marriage, which occured somewhere between 14-18 years old. I would never regret having sex in my teens and early twenties, because I was a machine. Those are the good years of tight bodies and enough energy to go all night. Your first time seems special in your mind until you realize sex is sweaty, hot, and ends in a sticky mess.

 

Her religious beliefs are total crap. A blow job is considered sodomy, and oral, dry humping, and hand jobs are still considered lustful actions, which are all sins.

 

In my experience, women say this crap because they don't want to make the decision, but rather want the man to seduce them, so they can feel like they didn't make the choice to break their moral ideal. I've been with several women who said they they didn't want to have sex, and then did nothing to deter me. You will eventually unwrap the workings of the female mind.

[janedoe67]

My honest opinion is that waiting is a stupid idea. I understand in the past women waited until marriage, which occured somewhere between 14-18 years old. I would never regret having sex in my teens and early twenties, because I was a machine. Those are the good years of tight bodies and enough energy to go all night. Your first time seems special in your mind until you realize sex is sweaty, hot, and ends in a sticky mess.

 

Her religious beliefs are total crap. A blow job is considered sodomy, and oral, dry humping, and hand jobs are still considered lustful actions, which are all sins.

 

In my experience, women say this crap because they don't want to make the decision, but rather want the man to seduce them, so they can feel like they didn't make the choice to break their moral ideal. I've been with several women who said they they didn't want to have sex, and then did nothing to deter me. You will eventually unwrap the workings of the female mind.

 

You are of course entitled to your opinion, but your categorization of her beliefs as crap and your generalization about why women wait is kind of offensive. Just because YOU to not have certain beliefs does not mean they are crap. And I waited because I wanted to give the one part of myself I could only give away once to ONE man - the man with whom I planned to spend the rest of my life. It had nothing to do with not wanting to make a decision - it WAS a decision.

 

It's ironic, actually. Christians are called intolerant and judgmental, and how many people on this thread are judging this girl and intolerant of HER choice? And honestly, this guy is 19, not 40. Who cares if he dates her a year and breaks up and never had sex with her? Waited for nothing, really?

[Soxfaninfl]

Yes, she's Christian and wants her first time to be special. Interesting is she was happy to hear I'm a virgin too (unlike certain friend who keep telling me girls don't like it; she sounded excited to be honest).

 

I'm a Catholic but wouldn't have mind if she wanted to do it while in the relationship. I respect her wish though.

 

I'm a practicing catholic, but I could not wait. My sex drive was too high when I met my wife. We didn't marry for two years afther we met and would have been torture to wait. I wish you luck!

[taiko]

How many? I hear about 3% overall among Americans have lost their virginity although that does not mean they have had sex with their betrothed. And maybe about 20% who are trying to follow the ways and teachings of their religions. In other societies with more social control and penalties among their citizens the numbers are higher.

[Els]

Well, OP, given that she likes giving and receiving oral sex, I daresay you are already having sex. So, you are waiting for intercourse.

 

How many wait for intercourse? Eh, it really depends on which demographics you are talking about. In conservative cultures or highly religious circles, plenty. Among secular American college students? Probably not many at all.

 

Like janedoe says, I don't think sexual compatibility is going to be a huge risk if you both are already bringing each other to orgasm. But, you are also within your rights to decide that you don't want to wait til marriage for intercourse, if you don't. It really is a personal decision and nobody can make it for you.

 

If you decide you don't want to wait, though, don't force the issue or take the rapey advice here. Simply wish her well, and leave and seek someone else.

 

Good luck, whatever you choose to do.

[janedoe67]

waiting to mariage is so dumb.

 

Using bad grammar to denigrate someone else's personal choice is so dumb.