SuperFantastico Posted January 16, 2005 Share Posted January 16, 2005 If you like someone and they cheat on thier boyfriend/girlfriend with you or someone else, they are NOT someone you want to waste your affections on. I have only been on this forum 3 days now. And just reading through alot of these posts, i see time and time again people lamenting the fact that they cant get with someone that they fancy. And these people they fancy cheat on thier signifigant others. Thus proving the fact that if you did go out with them, they would cheat on you!! So please, if this is the case with you, just walk away. There are much better people for you out there. Lifes hard enough without causing yourself more pain going for someone who you know deep down will just hurt you anyways. Might as well skip to the pain and stick a fork in your leg......but watch those arteries. Link to post Share on other sites
Dorkette Posted January 16, 2005 Share Posted January 16, 2005 I don't agree with that. I think people cheat for many reasons, yes, there are serial cheaters out there. However, there are many people that cheat because something is missing in their relationsip, they are not happy with that particular person, they settled, were pressured into a relationship/marriage etc. so they keep on looking even though they don't know themselves what it is they are looking for. The person they are cheating on is not you so don't ever think that you cannot offer a person what someone else couldn't. A person can be madly in love and treat another person with much respect, trust and love; unlike the other person they cheated on. I think for people in these cases it really depends on who they're with. Yes, cheating is wrong and I don't condone it at all. However, some people don't know how to be alone, so therefore they cheat. Crazy stuff. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SuperFantastico Posted January 16, 2005 Author Share Posted January 16, 2005 I think that if you are unhappy in a relationship, you should end it and move on. Or talk about it with your partner and try to fix it. Yes people are scared to be alone, but taking the easy route and just cheating instead of breaking up isnt right either. I'd rather have my partner express her feelings then bring home and std.. Oh and im talking about a commited relationship, not a couple dates here. Link to post Share on other sites
Dorkette Posted January 16, 2005 Share Posted January 16, 2005 I agree with you 100%. I have ALWAYS broken up with a guy when I knew it was over or that it should have never begun, before I get involved with someone else. But that is the only way a lot of people know how to deal with it. I'm not saying it's right I'm just saying it happens, a lot. Some people cannot be alone, maybe they got used to being in one relationship after another. Who knows. All I know is that it is reality, unfortunately. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SuperFantastico Posted January 16, 2005 Author Share Posted January 16, 2005 What im saying is YOU SEE they are cheating already. There is no doubt in your mind(well you know not see ....that would be ...uh wierd ) I had a friend....lol that same girl. She really like this guy, and he had a girlfriend. She messed around with him when he had a girlfriend still. And was supprised that later on after he 'broke-up' with his girlfriend to date her, that he cheated on her!?!?! And she was very pissed off. But jesus, it was a plain as day to me what was gonna happen. All im saying is, if you already know that they will cheat if they are unhappy or drunk, or at all. Save yourself the pain, and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Dorkette Posted January 17, 2005 Share Posted January 17, 2005 Then I'd say that guy was a serial cheater. A serial cheater CRAVES variety, has no remorse for ANYONE and is selfish. They want what they want and they will get it, they don't care. Believe me I'm far from blind, I'm also very perceptive and intuitive and I'll be damned if I'm gonna let a serial cheater make a fool of me, I have my pride. But there are "happily ever after" stories where cheating was involved. For me personally, I would have to study the cheater BEFORE I get involved with him. I was in a similar case, so I've learned about cheaters, the types and why they do it by their actions. You can just tell who is walking around aimlessly because their soul is lost and they haven't a clue and who just doesn't give a damn and thinks of themselves. I was cheated on, seen people cheat, have had friends that cheat and family members that have cheated. I'm an analyzer, so I've analyzed it to death. lol Link to post Share on other sites
Author SuperFantastico Posted January 17, 2005 Author Share Posted January 17, 2005 Wow you are a romantic. Wandering aimlessly because thier soul is lost!? heh. Well i just wanted to give people that havnt been cheated on a heads up. Maybe make them think a little harder before they let thier souls mossy on over to anouther person Im glad you have the cheatdar going Link to post Share on other sites
Dorkette Posted January 17, 2005 Share Posted January 17, 2005 Oh you know what I think to be VERY true? Of course you don't but I'm gonna tell ya! I bet that serial cheaters would NEVER cheat again if they were with a person that was into open relationships. Like a bi-sexual woman for example. He would have all the variety he wants but with his partners consent. So that wouldn't be cheating now would it? Something to think about eh? Link to post Share on other sites
Author SuperFantastico Posted January 17, 2005 Author Share Posted January 17, 2005 I dont know about that. The thing about an open relationship is the whole 'open' thing. Its like a poorly written contract. It can be interperted to fit and justify a whole lotta things. I think a serial cheater, is just perpetually that. For whatever reason, that just the way they are. Could be some childhood trama. Could be they are very attractive to the opposite/same sex. So with that much oportunity they just keep going. So what if they screw-up and lose thier current partner. Theres tons more where they came from. Oh well. Just keep your eyes open, and your hearts closed until you find someone you can trust. Link to post Share on other sites
Dorkette Posted January 17, 2005 Share Posted January 17, 2005 The couples involved in these sort of relationships have a VERY high level of communication, which is key for this type of relationship. We're talking about a serial cheater that CRAVES variety here. His woman of choice would be an extremely open-minded one (like the one explained). "So with that much oportunity they just keep going." EXACTLY! That's why an open relationship for him would be ideal, he could be with the one he loves and still get variety. Of course the woman involved likes women, so it's a win-win on both parts. I know this is kind of out there, but I know people in these types of relationships and they don't even think of cheating. They have the best of both worlds. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SuperFantastico Posted January 17, 2005 Author Share Posted January 17, 2005 You may be right then. I was just making this post for the more normal relationship oriented people. Not those zany swingers Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted January 17, 2005 Share Posted January 17, 2005 Originally posted by SuperFantastico Lifes hard enough without causing yourself more pain going for someone who you know deep down will just hurt you anyways. Might as well skip to the pain and stick a fork in your leg......but watch those arteries. Did you ever stop to think, SUPERFANTASTICO, that some people enjoy pain and hurting themselves. After all, we are irrational and emotional human beings. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SuperFantastico Posted January 17, 2005 Author Share Posted January 17, 2005 Oh its true. I have caused myself enough pain. But there are different levels of pain. And there is healthy pain and unhealthy pain. Putting yourself into a situation where you are almost guarenteeing you are gonna be betrayed and completely devistated is not healthy. Now if you go into a relationship with someonelike this, with the intention to only have some fun and then thats it. Thats fine. Its the people who are completely in love with them that im more concerned about. When you are in love, you have absolutly no mental protection against the love-ee. So you are in deep trouble. Normally if you fancy someone, think theier hot whatever, you still have that mental shield in place. It protects your inner self from being effected. So if they do cheat on you, you get pissed sure, but after a month or two you are over it. If someone you are in love with does it to you, the damage done can last a lifetime. Link to post Share on other sites
Dorkette Posted January 17, 2005 Share Posted January 17, 2005 oops! damn a multi-tasking. "Not those zany swingers" lol Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted January 17, 2005 Share Posted January 17, 2005 Originally posted by SuperFantastico Its the people who are completely in love with them that im more concerned about. When you are in love, you have absolutly no mental protection against the love-ee. I disagree that when one is in love they have absolutely no mental protedtion. This is ridiculous. It depends on how emotionally strong one is. People drop people they love all the time. Link to post Share on other sites
matt10020 Posted January 17, 2005 Share Posted January 17, 2005 what u say is right, if they cheat on their boyfriend with you then what's to say that they wouldn't do the same again. The problem with that is, if u love them u just don't care. Your head has no say what so ever over your heart! I can only say from my experience it all ended in tears and a lot of hurt. Next time i'd think twice before getting involved with a taken girl! Link to post Share on other sites
Author SuperFantastico Posted January 18, 2005 Author Share Posted January 18, 2005 Ya perhaps its one of those things that you only learn afterwards. Link to post Share on other sites
Amethyst Posted January 18, 2005 Share Posted January 18, 2005 Originally posted by Dorkette I know this is kind of out there, but I know people in these types of [open] relationships and they don't even think of cheating. Umm, but isn't an "open" relationship (by definition) one in which both parties agree to dating / having sex with other people? In that case, it's really not POSSIBLE to "cheat", is it? Link to post Share on other sites
Dorkette Posted January 18, 2005 Share Posted January 18, 2005 Originally posted by Amethyst Umm, but isn't an "open" relationship (by definition) one in which both parties agree to dating / having sex with other people? In that case, it's really not POSSIBLE to "cheat", is it? of course it is, if they go behind the others back. Link to post Share on other sites
Amethyst Posted January 18, 2005 Share Posted January 18, 2005 Originally posted by Dorkette of course it is, if they go behind the others back. If it's an OPEN relationship, then there is no "going behind the other's back"...my boyfriend can't fuss at me for seeing other guys if he's *agreed* that I can see them. Link to post Share on other sites
Dorkette Posted January 18, 2005 Share Posted January 18, 2005 maybe you're not understanding, or maybe i'm not explaining it well. lol! i don't mean dating, i mean purely sex. ya know to keep things interesting? as for the people I know, they have rules. those rules are: -the woman selects who the other woman will be. -the guy can make suggestions, but they must both agree, ALWAYS. -no other men, only women. i don't mean swinging or orgies here either, it's just something they do maybe 3-4 times a year to keep things interesting. Link to post Share on other sites
Amethyst Posted January 18, 2005 Share Posted January 18, 2005 Originally posted by Dorkette as for the people I know, they have rules. That may be true for the people *you* know, but that isn't true of *all* open relationships. As I said, by definition, an "open relationship" means that both parties agree that it's okay to date and / or have sex with other people. *Nothing* in those terms say anything about both parties being involved in the choice of partners or anything else -- it's totally up to the individuals. When speaking STRICTLY in terms of open relationships (and NOT open relationships that are qualified by rules), I see no way possible for there to be any cheating. Link to post Share on other sites
Dorkette Posted January 18, 2005 Share Posted January 18, 2005 Originally posted by Amethyst That may be true for the people *you* know, but that isn't true of *all* open relationships. no it IS true. when i was typing i did mention people that i know, it wasn't meant to come across as ALL open relationships. it's an open relationship to them. As I said, by definition, an "open relationship" means that both parties agree that it's okay to date and / or have sex with other people. *Nothing* in those terms say anything about both parties being involved in the choice of partners or anything else -- it's totally up to the individuals. i know the definition of the open relationship you speak of, which is your normal open relationship. again, i believe i was referring to the people i know. When speaking STRICTLY in terms of open relationships (and NOT open relationships that are qualified by rules), I see no way possible for there to be any cheating. yes i agree. in your case there are NO rules, so therefore no cheating. i was referring to the people i know, in their case if one of them goes behind the others back it IS cheating because they have rules. Link to post Share on other sites
Amethyst Posted January 18, 2005 Share Posted January 18, 2005 Originally posted by Dorkette i know the definition of the open relationship you speak of, which is your normal open relationship. again, i believe i was referring to the people i know. You never qualified that by stating you were speaking of a specific couple. You said: I bet that serial cheaters would NEVER cheat again if they were with a person that was into open relationships. THEN, you went on to give a *specific* example (about a bi-sexual woman). Your lead-in sentence quoted above sounds as though you are speaking of *all* open relationships. In other words, to refer to your post before, it was a case of *me* not understanding AND *you* not explaining it right. What it comes down to is that we are *both* right. Link to post Share on other sites
Dorkette Posted January 18, 2005 Share Posted January 18, 2005 Originally posted by Amethyst What it comes down to is that we are *both* right. always Link to post Share on other sites
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