TaraMaiden Posted February 7, 2014 Share Posted February 7, 2014 And..........I'm already struggling not to call her. Are the first 7 days the hardest? No, not at all. The first seven WEEKS are the hardest. Then - you hit 'the wall'. 'The wall' is "I can't go a second longer without getting my fix - the temptation is so strong, I think I'll go mad if I don't have it...." No Contact is cold-turkey for the heart. It's withdrawing from the entanglement which has kept you tied to someone, and dependent on their attention. The withdrawal symptoms are almost exactly like the symptoms drug or alcohol addict feels, so I'm advised here - and others have agreed. So, hang on.... I'm telling you - 'it's bad now, but it WILL get worse'....?! Yes. That's exactly what I'm telling you. So brace yourself buddy, and buckle up. It's going to be a bit of a bumpy ride. Which is why WE'RE here..... Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted February 7, 2014 Share Posted February 7, 2014 It's time for you to block her number. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Caliguy30 Posted February 7, 2014 Author Share Posted February 7, 2014 It's only day two and I'm struggling. Yesterday was easy because she was trying to contact me and I didn't answer. Now I'm just sitting here today wondering what she is doing. She is dependant on me, but I have the feeling I was strung along until something else intrigued her. It really sucks. Don't know how you do that to someone who you "love." I want to know if she cheated on me and I want her to know how crappy of a person I think she is and what people have been saying. What I really want is to realize how crappy she is and let go. I feel like it should be so much easier when I know that she is a bad toxic person, but then that "she was my bad toxic person," feeling sets in sounds so stupid but it is what I have had to tell my friends. I loved this girl and she walked all over me. SUCKS. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Caliguy30 Posted February 7, 2014 Author Share Posted February 7, 2014 It's time for you to block her number. So many people have said that and I know that is the next step. It is just that lingering feeling of hope. That, well what if she texts me and says all the right things or that she wants to come over. Psychologist said that she is going to come over one night, which would be a disaster. It sucks. I know the right decision is to block her number, but it's that small hope that I am holding on to. I know it needs to happen I know it is for the better. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Caliguy30 Posted February 7, 2014 Author Share Posted February 7, 2014 Now she just texted me "Hello?" Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted February 7, 2014 Share Posted February 7, 2014 Yeah.... so? I have a suggestion. Block her number, delete it and turn your 'phone of, okay? If you can't get your 'phone to block texts, there are a couple of excellent apps you can download to do that job. I suggest you do that asap.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Caliguy30 Posted February 7, 2014 Author Share Posted February 7, 2014 Tough love I like it TaraMaiden. Thank YOU Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted February 7, 2014 Share Posted February 7, 2014 So many people have said that and I know that is the next step. It is just that lingering feeling of hope. That, well what if she texts me and says all the right things or that she wants to come over. Psychologist said that she is going to come over one night, which would be a disaster. It sucks. I know the right decision is to block her number, but it's that small hope that I am holding on to. I know it needs to happen I know it is for the better. So what does she do? She just texts 'hello....?' Is this the 'small hope' you were waiting for? That 'lingering feeling'..? It's just a load of crapola, isn't it....? if she really really wants to re-connect with you, with a view of saying the right things - she will find a way. Please trust me. 'Hello....?' doesn't cut it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted February 7, 2014 Share Posted February 7, 2014 This is the one I have, but when I downloaded it, it was free. I believe there may be a charge now, but there are quite a few really good ones which are free to download, and are just as effective. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Caliguy30 Posted February 8, 2014 Author Share Posted February 8, 2014 It's such a constant up and down feeling like I'm so happy on my own. It's relaxing not having to deal with her work or insignificant arguments. However, then there's the times I miss her and wonder what she's doing. I try to change my focus when I think of her, because she certainly isn't sitting at home wondering about me. Her breadcrumbs are crap. Right now I'm just trying to get out of bed and go to work. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Caliguy30 Posted February 8, 2014 Author Share Posted February 8, 2014 This is like a drug it's like I can't stop wanting to talk to her until I give in. I can't go to the gym or do anything else because I'm at work. THIS SUCKS!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Caliguy30 Posted February 8, 2014 Author Share Posted February 8, 2014 Well, she called me at work after not answering her calls. She wants to meet for drinks. Not getting my hopes up for anything substantial to occur. I think it's going to be awkward and extremely crappy. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted February 9, 2014 Share Posted February 9, 2014 No, No, NO!! You do NOT meet her, for drinks, for coffee, for anything! It's breadcrumbs!! She only wants to talk to friend-zone you and make herself feel better!! Jeesh, did you not read the NC Guide?? Do not meet her! Cancel! Do NOT do this. Look at the turmoil you're in already... you think this will make it better?? you haveta be kidding me!! Just send a text, and say "Our meeting is off, I won't be coming. Bye." Leave it be, quit, and stay NC! Link to post Share on other sites
counterman Posted February 9, 2014 Share Posted February 9, 2014 I agree with what TaraMaiden said. She wants to friend-zone you and relieve herself of any guilt. You really don't want to know what's going on in her life right now. You might think you do but, trust me, you don't. I suspect my recent ex wanted to do that to me. She wanted me to still be there for her whenever she called. She wanted to keep me on the back-burner, so that when future relationships fail, I'll be there. No way that's happening. It's tough man. I thought I was doing OK after the first week of NC, I had no temptation to contact her. Now, I'm feeling a little more lonely and starting to miss the good times. My head is what keeps me strong. Stay strong. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Caliguy30 Posted February 9, 2014 Author Share Posted February 9, 2014 We got drinks and ended up going to see a movie. She kissed me a few times, but wouldn't come stay at my house. It was a bad idea because now I'm very confused. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted February 9, 2014 Share Posted February 9, 2014 yeah. You're confused, huh? You're not confused. You're friend-zoned. Jeesh. back to square one. Advise your work reception you do not take personal calls at work. Let them leave a message/number. You'll get back to them. Not. If you have a direct line, the moment you know who it is - put the phone down. Straight away. Say nothing, don't greet, acknowledge or reply. Put the phone - down. Got it. Confusion over? Good. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Caliguy30 Posted February 9, 2014 Author Share Posted February 9, 2014 Friend zone even when she's kissing me and what not? Link to post Share on other sites
mutualove Posted February 9, 2014 Share Posted February 9, 2014 I bet there are people here who would agree when I say she could sleep with you and still friend-zone you! Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted February 9, 2014 Share Posted February 9, 2014 Definitely. if this were not so, you wouldn't be 'confused'. you'd 'Know'. Remember you were in a relationship. While it has ended, some feelings must surface. All the more reason to not let emotions cloud judgement, and allow ill-conceived actions to make you believe all is well, when it patently isn't. as I said. You'd Know. Link to post Share on other sites
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