French Love of 2 years, breaks my heart!

[Ted81]

Hello LoveShack,

 

My story. I moved to a New city for a Job Opportunity in 2011. Rented a room from Craigslist and moved into a home with 3 people 2 guys and a French girl(FG). All working professionals from different parts of the US and France. At first I was here for a reason to work and it was my only intention. I started spending time with the roommates, food, drinks etc. FG was in a relationship for over a year but she was not happy, boyfriend treated her like **** and would make her cry, depressed and lonely. It seemed like it was coming to an end fast. One night we ended up drunk and slept together. Weird how it happened but it did. After that night we spoke we regretted what happened but started spending time together, a lot of time. She ended her relationship and then we started to spend even more time. I thought I had found the love of my life with in several months of moving to new city.

 

Biggest decision of my LIFE. FG's Student/work visa was coming to an end after 4 months of dating her. She didn't want to go back to France and I didn't want to lose her. We were in love and spending every second of the day together when we were not at work. We talked and I suggested we get married so she can stay in the US and we can continue our relationship. She didn't want to, she said she wasn't ready for marriage nor did she want to even if it was for her to stay in the states. It was a month of crying, depressed, sad as she didn't want to go end out relationship or go back to France. We went to VEGAS and got Married.

 

We were confused. I was Married, something I always wanted but afraid as I believe in Marriage to be forever. So I get her a ring, we started telling people at work and friends that we were married, just not our families.

 

1 month after Vegas we get our own place, it was a honeymoon. We were so happy, and continued to spend every second of the day together. I really really believed that we were married.

 

During our two years, our relationship has been one of respect, open communication, caring for each other and being there for one another. We got very involved in Church. WE WERE SO IN LOVE, it was almost hard to believe. Never have had an argument or fight, never physical, never mad at each other as we talk about everything. I mean everything, sex, love, family problems, we would compare our love and relationship to everyone else's was was having problems. (Her past two BF's were abusive and on even physical and left her mentally in a bad state of mind)

 

Back to moving in together, she couldn't work as she need to wait for green card. She didn't work for 6 months, I supported the house 100%. I was really really living my married life and would come home to a wife who took care of the house, cooked, cleaned. We traveled, day trips, beach, biking, romantic dinners, we learned from each others cultures, music, language. Again I would think I was the luckiest person on earth. I would tell her she was amazing as much as I could. I would dedicate songs, write her little love notes, compliment her on everything to make her feel special. She would correspond with similar things and loving gestures.

 

Two months after she got her Green Card, she found a job. We continued strong and again spending every second together.

 

This continued for 1 more years. Or at least in my eyes. Church, time together.

 

Change: She started getting more and more involved in Church, she is part of the Choir, we joined church group, she attended several spiritual retreats. All being happy and in love in my eyes.

 

Last summer, her mother and sister visited us for 3 weeks. It was scary but ended up being just fine, then she had one of her best friends from France come visit us as she was going thru a breakup and needed to get away.

 

I'm going wrap it up: December we took a trip to Boston and NYC, spent 1 week. Everything was great. After our trip first week of January 2014 I had to go to NYC for work 1 wk, Wk 2 I was very busy at work training and spent little time at home with her. Wk 3 she goes to Orlando for a work trade show. Wk 4 she arrives and is very very weird. She would come home late from work and would tell me she was very busy and stressed because she had a trade show in Vegas within a week. I was not her, it was very weird. Finally after 4 days of putting up with it, I told her she needed to tell me what the hell was going on:

 

She broke down and told me she wanted to break up. She told me she was not happy with our relationship for a long time. She told me she fell out of love with me and started seeing me a friend, a best friend. She told me I was perfect and she was hoping she would fall in love with me again but I has not happened and she just need to move on. I was shocked didn't see it coming. I had a million questions for her, she answered everyone of them. I asked if there was someone else and she said "no" I believe her. The reason she had not come home all week after work was because she had looked for place to move to. She told me she found a place and was going to move with in a day or two and before her trade show in Vegas. The next day we went out for dinner and continued to talk as I had so much to ask and think. We didn't fight, we didn't argue. I told her I respected her decision and I wanted what was best for her. I told her she shouldn't move out until she finds the right place as her roommates she found were not fitted in my eyes. She cried and told me she couldn't understand how great of a guy i was for letting her stay and for me to be a friend. After 4 days of talking I took her to the airport for her trade show in Vegas. She hugged me and started crying. I told her I loved her and she told me she knew. That was on Sunday. I sent her a text on sunday during Bruno Mars Halftime show and told her I was thinking of her as I would always sing her the song "Just the way you are" she replied and said she was thinking of me as well with the song. Have not heard from her since, 3 days!

 

Summary: I'm so in Love and heart broken. I have been trying to figure out what happened, what I did wrong, what I could have done to make things right. Asking if there is someone else she didn't tell me about. Now i have to figure out about giving her space she needs. We are married. Don't know what to do:

 

She comes back Friday. I want to not be here and show her how week I am right now. I also don't want to be here and see her come and go while I am heart broken in love with her. But at the same time I want to see her, hug her and tell her I love her.

 

I wish this was just a dream.......

(So much to write, could write a book)

[Tripz]

Others with more experience will come along and will help. All I can give you is to say I'm so sorry this is happening. I know the feeling about wishing it was a dream. I'm still having "waking dream" moments, usually when I'm driving (not good). I'll have flashes of my situation in my head and it feels like it's a dream, then in the same instant, I realize I'm not dreaming. That particular tug on my heart is unbelievably strong. So much so, that it scares me while I'm driving.

 

You are a believer (I assume from your church comments), so I'll be praying for you. I really am saddened by your story....