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Need guidance on my relationship with my autistic best friend!


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Hi,

 

I've posted on this topic in another thread but haven't been able to get many answers... My autistic best friend of four years has lately (past 1-3 months) been acting more 'close' and tactile and attentive towards me. Last week I was at his house and things got intimate (emotionally more so than physically). Full story here:

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/transitioning/friends-lovers/458836-messy-situation-best-friend

 

He has a girlfriend and I was in quite a hurry to leave for that reason, but he kissed me before I left. I saw him a couple of days later and we both acted like we'd always done, as platonic friends. However, he has made no attempt at contacting me at all for four days now (previously he'd text at least every other day) and I am going out of my mind worrying that our friendship is over.

 

Whilst I do have romantic feelings for him, I have never had a problem just being platonic friends with him and him having girlfriends - I value our friendship above everything because we have so many common interests and passions, and it's a case of me being happy if he is. However, in light of what happened last week, I feel I need to know where we are at now in our friendship. Because up to this point it has been purely focused on mutual interests, opinions and passions, I have no idea how to broach the topic of emotions with him, and I'm not very good at these things at the best of times. His having a girlfriend doesn't help, obviously.

 

I guess what I want to know is, do AS people handle these situations differently? Is there a specific way in which to approach him/ the subject? Sorry if I'm being ignorant - I'm not making the assumption that AS people are all the same, but just looking for guidance and possibilities of avoiding any (further) damage and showing him that I love him (even if just as a friend).

 

Thanks for any advice

Edited by hermit
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My ex husband has Asburger's...(on the spectrum of Autism) and so does my son. He might not understand that it isn't very nice to have a girlfriend, yet flirt/kiss someone else. He might be doing just what feels good to him at the time. (I do not know him of course, I am just speculating) It might be up to YOU to draw the boundaries. If that is what you want. Maybe look up an online Autism support group and ask them...they might have far more insight than someone who doesn't understand.

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