xxoo Posted February 8, 2014 Share Posted February 8, 2014 There honestly are women who feel it's a waste of money, not to mention painfully conventional, to buy flowers and candy on Valentines Day. Yawn. He gets them, and I express appreciation (because, dude, it's a gift!), but it feels obligatory to me. And yes, I've told him as much. I do like the day to be acknowledged, but a pressed-up-against-the-wall kiss is just fine 4 Link to post Share on other sites
lkey Posted February 8, 2014 Share Posted February 8, 2014 Someone said it is a love language thing and I completely agree. For instance, I am quality time and gifts, so it is very important to get me things for special events and to plan something nice. Just because a woman enjoys these things doesn't make her commercialized, materialistic, or anything else. My husband is physical touch, does he expect some extra special attention on special days...absolutely! so its no different. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CrystalCastles Posted February 8, 2014 Share Posted February 8, 2014 I always tell my parents "don't get me anything" for Christmas and birthdays and they somehow always do (I'm only partially annoyed, since they always get me stuff I actually really need, for which I'm often in the process of saving up money for). I'm also on board with being open about wants. I've never had a boyfriend before, so to me, Valentine's Day isn't very cliche since I've never spent it with anyone. If my man were to ask me what I wanted, I would go with the cliche flowers, mostly because I love flowers (he doesn't even have to buy them, if he has a garden he can bring me a flower from it). I love lilacs, and where I live they're common in people's gardens. And I'm pretty sure they're under 5$ at the supermarket. I think it's the gesture that would be the sweetest. But my top two love languages are acts of service and quality time, so I'm all about someone doing something sweet (it doesn't even have to be flowers, he could cook something). Personally, I'd rather see some effort into a gift, even if he spent 2 bucks on the supplies, rather than some ridiculously expensive piece of crap he bought at a store. Someone's time is more valuable to me than their money. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Frank2thepoint Posted February 8, 2014 Share Posted February 8, 2014 Do not fall for it. Even if she says nothing, you still get her something. Something small and UNIQUE. Not this cards and flowers BS. Be original but keep it less than 15 dollars. Try and keep it tailored to what her interests are. Get her a dick-in-a-box. It's small, unique, original, costs less than 15 USD, and tailored to her interests. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted February 8, 2014 Share Posted February 8, 2014 I dont like Valentine's day. I think its a stupid one-sided holiday. I have always felt that way. I tell hubby every year that I dont want anything and I mean it. I really don't. Flowers die and I'm not crazy about flowers anyway. Cripe, I didnt even have flowers on my wedding day. But it used to be that if he didn't say "happy Valentine's day" to me that morning I felt kinda let down and a little sad. Stupid social conditioning. It took decades for us to get past that and he STILL says something or tries to bring me a rose and candy. Hes such a romantic sap and I haven't a romantic bone in my body anymore (that I will acknowledge anyway!) I agree with the original post. Listen to him. Women are far far less pissed off when they receive a gift they didn't want than if they didn't receive a gift that they didn't know they wanted. THAT is feminine quantum mechanics. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted February 8, 2014 Share Posted February 8, 2014 Actually, I have told boyfriends I wanted nothing for Valentine's Day. And meant it. But yeah they also all thought it was a trap lol Yeah, I mean it too. There's a florists I walk past every day on my way to work and in the window, is a teddy bear that costs $180. If that's not a sign of how f*cked-up the whole thing is... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SpiralOut Posted February 9, 2014 Share Posted February 9, 2014 I agree with the OPs advice. As much as I dislike gender stereotyping, the truth is that unless you've been through a Valentine's Day already, you don't know what sort of woman you are dealing with. It might be better to be safe than sorry. If I'm seeing someone, I tell the guy what type of flowers I like and then I hope that he buys them for me. I don't care how commercialized V-day is, I want flowers damn it. Won't be getting any this year though. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Radu Posted February 9, 2014 Share Posted February 9, 2014 Either way you can't go wrong with choco's, worst case you are looking at eating said choco's with her ... which is not really such a bad thing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted February 9, 2014 Share Posted February 9, 2014 Criminey. After all my blathering about flowers and candy hubby come home today and says he knows Valentine's day is Friday but the stores would be crowded and we have plans on Saturday to go to a model train show and yadda yadda yadda he pulls out a dozen red roses and a box of chocolates. Sigh. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
regine_phalange Posted February 9, 2014 Share Posted February 9, 2014 Criminey. After all my blathering about flowers and candy hubby come home today and says he knows Valentine's day is Friday but the stores would be crowded and we have plans on Saturday to go to a model train show and yadda yadda yadda he pulls out a dozen red roses and a box of chocolates. Sigh. If you sell him, I'll buy him. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
winterpast Posted February 9, 2014 Share Posted February 9, 2014 I don't need/want anything bought for me on Valentine's day. A simple "Happy Valentines, I love you" works for me. I would get pretty mad if he did buy me something only because we are broke and can't afford things like that. He's wouldn't want money spent on him for the same reason. I would like some fun time in the bedroom as my "present" though Link to post Share on other sites
Got it Posted February 9, 2014 Share Posted February 9, 2014 I dont like Valentine's day. I think its a stupid one-sided holiday. I have always felt that way. I tell hubby every year that I dont want anything and I mean it. I really don't. Flowers die and I'm not crazy about flowers anyway. Cripe, I didnt even have flowers on my wedding day. But it used to be that if he didn't say "happy Valentine's day" to me that morning I felt kinda let down and a little sad. Stupid social conditioning. It took decades for us to get past that and he STILL says something or tries to bring me a rose and candy. Hes such a romantic sap and I haven't a romantic bone in my body anymore (that I will acknowledge anyway!) I agree with the original post. Listen to him. Women are far far less pissed off when they receive a gift they didn't want than if they didn't receive a gift that they didn't know they wanted. THAT is feminine quantum mechanics. I had no idea that it was one sided holiday. Starting in grade school, then high school both sexes exchanged gifts and this went into my adult years. I have never thought/expected a man to give me more than what I give them. I don't know, some years I want to do something big, other years just an evening in bed is the best gift ever. Actually trying to think of things this year, since our travel schedules are so crazy, a quiet evening home alone sounds great. Shoot, a weekend of no clothes and just sex sounds perfect. How can I make that happen? I think that would work well for both of us. And isn't that what Valentine's day about? Lots of booty! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Keenly Posted February 10, 2014 Author Share Posted February 10, 2014 I had no idea that it was one sided holiday. Starting in grade school, then high school both sexes exchanged gifts and this went into my adult years. I have never thought/expected a man to give me more than what I give them. I don't know, some years I want to do something big, other years just an evening in bed is the best gift ever. Actually trying to think of things this year, since our travel schedules are so crazy, a quiet evening home alone sounds great. Shoot, a weekend of no clothes and just sex sounds perfect. How can I make that happen? I think that would work well for both of us. And isn't that what Valentine's day about? Lots of booty! I've never received a single valentines day gift, though I've given around a dozen or so. Link to post Share on other sites
Antenna_Of_Destiny Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 I find it much more fruitful to give flowers, chocolates, and personalized letters/gifts when it is NOT Valentine's Day Link to post Share on other sites
Copelandsanity Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 I anticipate receiving the BEST Valentine's Day gift in my lifetime on Friday. House of Cards, Season 2 from Netflix. Link to post Share on other sites
crederer Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 If you are in a relationship, and your girl says or has said that she doesn't want anything for valentines day.... She is lying. Its a trap. If you do not get her anything, she will at most be mad at you, and at the least she will resent you for it. Do not fall for it. Even if she says nothing, you still get her something. Something small and UNIQUE. Not this cards and flowers BS. Be original but keep it less than 15 dollars. Try and keep it tailored to what her interests are. Again, If she says " I don't want anything this year honey " and you day " okay babe ". You will be in the doghouse by 11pm on the 14th. You are welcome. You're right but I don't want to legitimize passive aggressive behaviour. Also, I legitimize passive behaviour from time to time. Link to post Share on other sites
Revolver Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 It's a money grab designed by the media and companies to A. Make men feel like crap god forbid they don't do something "special" on that day B. Make women feel like crap if they're man doesn't do something or they don't have a guy period Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 I say one-sided because its aimed at men buying gifts for women. Just look at the commercials and ads. My hubby is sweet and romantic. Whether I want him to be or not. LOL Link to post Share on other sites
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